So I was working tonight, running between the slap table, the cut table, and the driver stand, when an insider on till calls me over. A very irate elderly dude is holding a $50 bill, and promptly begins to assail our corporate policy on cash: we don't accept bills over $20, a policy which this very kind, sweet insider was trying to explain to him.
Now, here's the thing. Lots of people try to pay with $50's, and while the sign says "Nothing Over $20", really, so long as the change back is less than $20, we're okay with it. And y'know, if he'd said, "Look, it's all I got, I'll never do it again, please?" I'd probably have said, "Sure, go ahead."
Instead, he begins ranting and raving. Like most airheads, he assumes that since I am here, I set the corporate policy. Yes, I a lonely shift manager, has the ability to set corporate policy. I try to explain this to him, y'know, that a big Papa out in Kentucky sets corporate policy, but he's having none of it.
He goes on a tirade about how a $50 bill is legal US currency, and how our stores' policy is a violation of his civil, constitutional, and god-given rights! He then threatens to have me arrested by the police (and Officer Green, waiting for his 50% off pizza, can barely control his laughter at this point), and tells me that if I refuse to accept the $50, he will contact a lawyer and sue me.
So I look him straight in the eye, and I said, "Ok, sir, tell ya' what I'll do. I'll save you the trouble - I'll turn myself into the police for refusing to accept your money." And I look up at Officer Green, who is in the store two or three nights a week, and I said, "Officer, please arrest me for violating this man's right to have his $50 accepted."
And Officer Green just bursts out laughing, as are most of the other customers in the carryout by this point.
The old man gets fuming pissed, and shouts, "Compared to you, Osama Bin Laden is George Washington!" and storms out.
Oh, bless his heart, the cute old stupid ignorant codger Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"...running between the slap table, the cut table, and the driver stand, when an insider on till..."
Should I have the slightest idea what that means? Because I'm afraid I don't.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Ah, the sweet smell of job specific jargon.
Posted by Nim the Fanciful (Member # 205) on :
Obviously, the "slap" table is for punishing pizza drivers who didn't fill their quota, the "cut" table is for treating pizza bakers who ate several pizzas themselves instead of giving them to customers (eye for an eye), and the driver stand is where the delivery boys get their blowjobs so they can keep up with the job at full energy, like Schwarzenegger got in the dressing room of the "Mr Universe" contest (and recently, in the tour bus of his governor campaign). Female drivers instead get a big chocolate sundae, with about the same results.
Remember, there is no room for clich�s or preconceived notions in this post.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Dude, you should have had HIM arrested for disturbing public order or something. B)
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Somehow, having a cop there laughing at him seems punishment enough. Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
It's standard policy to not accept bills above a certain denomination. Happens here too.
This guy should get himself a bank card. Surely you accept payment by DEBIT, right?
Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
quote:The old man gets fuming pissed, and shouts, "Compared to you, Osama Bin Laden is George Washington!" and storms out.
Hasn't FOT made the same comparison about you?
Posted by MarianLH (Member # 1102) on :
Originally posted by Nim the Fanciful:
quote:Female drivers instead get a big chocolate sundae, with about the same results.
OOOh! Where is this place, and do they have any openings?
Marian
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
quote:"...running between the slap table, the cut table, and the driver stand, when an insider on till..."
Slap Table = Where pizza dough is stretched out and slapped to form a pizza skin. You take the pizza skin, apply pizza sauce, and cheese, cook it, and you have a pizza.
Cut Table = Where you take the pizzas out of the oven, put them in boxes, and "cut" them with a slicer.
Driver Stand = Where the hot bags, maps, and routing computer is located.
Till = Come on, do I need to explain this ... ?
Insider = Term for a non-management employee who works "inside" the shop.
Driver = Term for a non-management employee who delivers pizzas.
Posted by Epoch (Member # 136) on :
I know all of the other terms as I worked in a pizza place before but I have never heard of Insider used in any of the food joints I have worked. Different strokes for different folks.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
I thought that Americans said "cash register" rather than "till". You live and learn...
And when I worked in Pizza Hut, we didn't use any of those fancy terms. Apart from "till". And "driver".
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Pizza makes children fat, so I hope you're all happy.
Also Officer Green hanging around a pizza place and named Officer Green have given me an idea for a Hollywood Sitcom! It is called Pop's Pizza: Doughn't Ask Me, I'm Just the Slapper. Starring John Ritter's ghost and the mom from Hangin' With Mr. Cooper: Rudy and the lesser Gooding take Oakland.
Posted by Veers (Member # 661) on :
quote:Originally posted by PsyLiam: I thought that Americans said "cash register" rather than "till". You live and learn...
Actually, most of us do say "cash register."
Posted by MarianLH (Member # 1102) on :
Yeah, "till" is short for "until," as in "'till later."
Marian
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Was that really worth a smilie?
Posted by Nim the Fanciful (Member # 205) on :
You want I should whip out the ol' WinME-card, sir?
Posted by Futurama Guy (Member # 968) on :
The 'till' is usually what the casher refers to the tray of money in the drawer by...from my experience. But, then again, even in the US we have regional terms...so, who knows.
Posted by MarianLH (Member # 1102) on :
Originally posted by PsyLiam:
quote: Was that really worth a smilie?
I could edit it out if you like...
Marian
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
Don't worry. Some of us like to see you smile.
Posted by Futurama Guy (Member # 968) on :
Kissing ass will get you nowhere around here, son...
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Weird little pervert.
Posted by MarianLH (Member # 1102) on :
I think those last two posts could have used smilies.
And that Manticore should be thwapped with a wet carp.
Marian
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
A smiley would negate the intentional tone of my post.
Posted by Futurama Guy (Member # 968) on :
Ah, someone finally found a useful purpose for carp and Manticorpse!
That gets a Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
Well, where I work we call them stations because they're actually computers running a DOS-based program, ACCPAC.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Are computers running DOS-based programs generally called "stations" then?
Posted by Futurama Guy (Member # 968) on :
Might as well throw "terminal" into the mix then too, eh.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ultra Magnus: Pizza makes children fat, so I hope you're all happy.
Pizza doesn't make people fat...eating pizza makes people fat.
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Wrong.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Guns don't kill people. Bullets kill people.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
My persistent flaw.
[ June 05, 2004, 12:34 AM: Message edited by: Jay the Obscure ]
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"Guns don't kill people. Bullets kill people."
Bullets don't kill people. Eating bullets kills people.
Posted by Dat (Member # 302) on :
Wrong. The bullets that have been eaten kills people.
Posted by Nim the Fanciful (Member # 205) on :
Bullets don't kill people, Death kills people. Bullets are just his weapon of choice. Also, if you walk without rhythm, you won't attract the worm.
Posted by Tora Ziyal (Member # 53) on :
You are all wrong. Bullets don't kill people. People kill people.
Posted by The Mighty Monkey of Mim (Member # 646) on :
People don't kill people; lions kill people.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
I still heart the beginning of Snow Crash with the whole of my being including my pee-pee.
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
WE KNOW SNOW CRASH IS A BOOK.
People don't kill people, Neal Stephenson's pretentions kill people.
WITH OBTUSENESS>
Posted by Dat (Member # 302) on :
Wait, it's the stopping of the heart pumping along with the cessation of brain activity that kills people.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"People don't kill people; lions kill people."
Only in Kenya.
I can't believe I just fucking said that.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
We can.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Guns dont kill people: Karma kills people.
(The courts almost never go for this explanation though)
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
I almost sorry I started this line of posting.
Almost.
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
People kill people and regret makes it worse.
Posted by Capped in Mike (Member # 709) on :
we say till at my current job but in my other two experiences with cash handling nobody knew that word. maybe we need a job related jargon thread.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Woohoo!
Despite all the assholes this week, and the hours (the AM is on her honeymoon, and the other shift-manager got fired for hitting an insider, so I had to pick up some extra shifts and wound up working 72.4 at this store, and 15 hours at my other job driving), we hit two milestones: the first is that we had a record-sales week (the third in the last two months). The second is that we did over $20,000 in sales (something a certain other GM who both I and my GM hate said we would "never fucking do"). Now, when this store opened about ten years ago, it was doing $7k a week, which means this turnaround is pretty amazing - our OVP (operational vice president) lives in our delivery area and is always pretty excited when he sees how well we're doing. Anyway, if we can get this $20k a week thing going, we'll be reclassified as a "high volume" store (and hopefully all get raises!)
Posted by MarianLH (Member # 1102) on :
Good luck with that. Is Michigan in your delivery area? Maybe I could help.
Marian
Posted by Nim the Fanciful (Member # 205) on :
Congratulations, Snay! Too bad the increase in sales will lead to less recurring customers.
Posted by Ultra Magnus 321 (Member # 239) on :
You are excited about pizza.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Pizza has made me fat and squishy and fleshy and fat.
BUT IT TASTES GOOD.
Posted by Ultra Magnus 321 (Member # 239) on :
omg ur still fat
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
dude so wot im liek ten tiems cooler tehn u
Posted by Futurama Guy (Member # 968) on :
quote:Originally posted by MarianLH: Good luck with that. Is Michigan in your delivery area? Maybe I could help. Marian
A fellow Michigander! Whereabouts?
Posted by Toadkiller (Member # 425) on :
Can I get a large pepperoni delivered to Mississippi? Don't worry, I won't embarrass anybody by giving them a large tip.
Posted by Futurama Guy (Member # 968) on :
Mississippi has the Internet now? I'll be damned.
Posted by MarianLH (Member # 1102) on :
Originally posted by Futurama Guy:
quote:A fellow Michigander! Whereabouts?
And risk the canon police finding out where I live? No thanks.
In fact, I lied about being in Michigan to throw my enemies off the track. I'm actually in Nevada.
Marian
Posted by Futurama Guy (Member # 968) on :
You tease!
Posted by MarianLH (Member # 1102) on :
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