Problem:
I sometimes come in in the evening to catch-up on the forums, but this has increasingly become an endurance test. You see, by day the cluster is full of busy & loud students.
By night, it's full of FREEEEEEAAAAKKKKSSSSS!!!
The same bunch all the time! Every night they come in, and set up home. CDs, headphones, cups of vile-smelling brew, empty packets of crisps (chips), takeaways, radios (!!!), clothing....., & DISCARDED FOOTWEAR!
AAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH! What's with these INSANE GEEKS! They're here till past midnight, I've checked the logs! They either crash machines by downloading 100MB of "Doom" or sit and type C programs all night whilst listening to the sound of all the tortured souls of hell screaming in their earphones!
And to make matters worse, whenever I find a machine as far away from any of them as possible, another one comes in and sits nearby. Now I have nothing to hide, but I simply CANNOT work, surf or even read with someone STARING OVER MY SHOULDER.
It makes me so ANGRY I could take a-
*collapses*
(THUD!)
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Here I Come To Save The Day : Mighty Mouse
Sit. Rock back and forth in your chair. Roll a pencil between your hands, which should be held in front of you in a praying-mantislike manner. Chuckle at nothing. Talk to your computer. Cultivate a 3-day beard. Decorate the toip of whatever computer you're using with a mutilated Wishnik (That's a "troll" to most of you folks). Occasionally get up, turn around twice, and sit down again.
Within a week, even the schizophrenics will leave you alone. Trust me.
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*I only SEEM Normal*
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"YOU SMEG!"
[This message was edited by Orion Syndicate on March 19, 1999.]
There are the homo sapiens, such as you & I, but not very many.
And then there are the homo computus who type up programs rather than sleep, and thus lose control of their bodily functions and hygiene.
Also, the homo freakii who wander the corridors like lost souls, marking territory with skin oozings and talking to their gremlins-on-the-end-of-their pencils before rotating girlfriends with their clique colleagues.
A rarer sight in uni, although much more prevalent in the wild, is homo neddius. These thick-skulled specimens are usually very tall, posess limited vocabulary (often only one quasi-word: WharrafuK) and have brains up to 40% smaller than normal. They also apparently exude high quantities of male sex-hormone, since women invariably find them hugely attractive.
Which brings us onto the other type of student: the female. And they defy rational analysis... <
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"Those are tonight's headlines.....
God, I wish they weren't."
- Everyday THE DAY TODAY!
That's freaky? Seemed kinda normal to me. . .
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Carpe Canem!
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http://frankg.dgne.com/
Dead End: "If we surrender our energon we're doomed."
Breakdown: "And if we don't we're doomed too."
Dead End: "Face it. We're doomed."
1/ THose with boyfriends at home
2/ Those with boyfriends at the university.
Obviously excluding lesbians. But they're either EXTREMELY UGLY or EXTREMELY FIT. There is no middle ground, for God has decreed it.
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'Lasts longer than any other type of milk does dog's milk.'
'Why's that Hol?'
'No bugger'll drink it'
Holly and Lister.
Oh, and there ARE lesbians who are neither butt-ugly nor "extremely fit" (I assume you mean jock-women), and who are just plain normal. I knew *counts on fingers* a dozen during my 7 years in college (okay, about half were bi, but it's close enough, isn't it?)
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*I only SEEM Normal*
Er anyway, how did you manage to count 12 on your fingers? Are you some type of 12 fingered freek?
(There we go, distracted attention away from myself. He he he)
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'Lasts longer than any other type of milk does dog's milk.'
'Why's that Hol?'
'No bugger'll drink it'
Holly and Lister.
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I'm the only one who understands me, and I ire of my company.
--Paul Cargile
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Here I Come To Save The Day : Mighty Mouse