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We're bombing the wrong end of Europe
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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" width="95%" align="center"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"><td> <table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"> <td colspan="2" align="left"> <font size="3" color="#FFFFFF" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>T O P I C ��� R E V I E W</b> </font></td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>The First One</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,2,26,5,15,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">March 26, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">05:15 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> I've just spent an hour on the phone to Hewlett Packard's European call centre in Amsterdam. This has been a regualr feature of late, as I try to persuade them that I actually know when a computer has failed beyond anything I can do to it.<p>For a start, these people won't raise cases unless you agree to do a lot of tests over the phone - yeah, right - or tell them exactly what the problem is. I had one of their engineers here today (on another matter) and he told me exactly what to tell them. Would they accept the word of their own engineer? Like f*** they would. . .<p>Then there's the language barrier. These people's command of English is about on a par with my command of Etruscan (for non-classicists, that's a dead language, no-one knows it anymore). I have to repeat everything several times.<p>Then there's serial numbers. All HP ones begin with 'FR' so I ignore them. They refuse to accept it - after I've again repeated it several times - because it's invalid without the letters 'FR' in front!<p>It's at this point I announce to my office - and the guy on the phone - that we're bombing the wrong end of Europe. Everyone at work has been in fits over my facial expressions during this conversation, that and the primal scream I let loose with when I finally got to hung up.<p>And there's still no guarantee I'll get an engineer to come! <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Orion Syndicate</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,2,26,7,55,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">March 26, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">07:55 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> The problem Lee is that these bas***ds are just like insurance companies. They'll take your money, but when it comes to giving it back or providing the service that they originally promised, they'll make all sorts of f***ing excuses.<p>They'll come round in the end, but you probably have to keep badgering them.<P>------------------<BR>WARNING! This heamerroid cream should NOT be taken orally.<p> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>The Excalibur</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,2,26,9,18,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">March 26, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">09:18 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> If you can get one of the B2's to drop by, they would never know what hit them.<P>------------------<BR><b>Dramatis Personae</b><br> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Orion Syndicate</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,2,26,9,25,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">March 26, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">09:25 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Hold on, where abouts Holland is RW from <IMG SRC="http://solareclipse.net/Forums/wink.gif"><P>------------------<BR>WARNING! This heamerroid cream should NOT be taken orally.<p> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>RW</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,2,26,17,48,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">March 26, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">05:48 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <br>Hm, don't expect office clerks to know English (ironically, they're the ones that should know it..hm) Luckily for you, I am very good at English (wide grin)<p>I'm about, um.. 60 kilometers from Amsterdam..or was it 80? It can't be more than 100 or I'll be in Germany though. So if you get out a nuke with a 50 kilometer blast radius that'd do nicely. Be sure to take the queen with you.<p>Orion S: I live in THE NETHERLANDS! NOT IN HOLLAND! :] <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Charles Capps</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,2,26,20,42,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">March 26, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">08:42 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Hm, as if tech support wasn't bad enough without them not speaking the same language as you... Literally.<P>------------------<BR>"Okay, so I'm not "SANE" so to speak, but uh... I'm the lovable kind of psycho"<br> <A HREF="http://solareclipse.net/" TARGET=_blank>http://solareclipse.net/</A> <br> <br /> </font> </td></tr> </table></td></tr></table> <br /> <br />
© 1999-2024 Charles Capps
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