Crap, isn't it? Awful colours, half the links don't work, it has minimal informational content - and what there is of that is hard to make out.
Now, I've repeatedly offered to do something about this. I'm the only one in the IT Dept. who knows anything about HTML. My suggestions have been ignored, my proposals declined, and instead they decided to get an outside designer to do it. They haven't actually done anything about it, and it's been six months.
Eventually we'll have our own web server. Correction: we HAVE our own web server, have had it for a year. It sits there taking up space and hasn't been touched since I built the damn thing. For now, though, the people who provide our direct web connections act as an ISP and hold the HTML pages on their server.
So you can imagine my delight when I get a rabid call from a member of Marketing complaining the link doesn't work (I hope it does by the time you all read this). She largely implies that I am solely responsible for this, that as long as the problem goes on the firm is losing business. As if the webpage is going to tell prospective clients anything but "we're crap, go elsewhere."
So please, shred our corporate webpage. And spread the word - RJ&W are rubbish.
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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx
Right now they're planning to move part of the London to a new location, down the other end of Gray's Inn Road. Which is about a mile long and is one-way for most of it (the rest being the other way). Providing support to people down there is going to be impossible, and when I jokingly asked if I should bring my mountain bike to work, they took me seriously.
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Avon: "You really do believe in taking risks, don't you?"
Tarrant: "Calculated risks."
Avon: "Calculated on what? Your fingers?"
-- Blake's Seven, Ultraworld
Seriously though, I have a friend who is a lawyer and was thinking about going out on his own. He enlisted another pal of mine and I to design his site, he has since joined anothe firm ending the need for the site. However, before that time I spent a good deal of time looking at various coporate lawyer sites and thinking of ways to build his site (I also got some practical expereince by helping design the LA Times Intranet, ooo ahhh)....
I can't think of a single one of those lawyer sites that looks as bad as this one!! Who are the people that are going to represent you for goodness sake?? Where did they go to law school or what do they specialize in???
It serves no real purpose other than some middle management putz can tell some upper management putz that "We have a web presence now sir." "Oh, jolly good."
And I know a small dog that can write better!!
Oi, that is a horrid site!!
Hows that for a review First?
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We sneaked into the nearby Peabody Museum. There, under the smiling eyes of four stuffed Eskimos, we expressed our love physically, as was the style at the time.
~ C. Mongomery Burns
[This message has been edited by Jay (edited September 17, 1999).]
Not.
Pathetic, First, no wonder you complained. That *thing* (I refuse to call it a site) is shameful. I've seen better design in graffiti and more organisation in an angry mob of rabid dogs.
No style, virtually no substance.
Make sure your employers cop this. This highlights their promotional ineptitude, and doesn't do much for their future turnover. Moreover, it displays a shocking disregard for Web denizens, who should deserve something, anything, better than this palty half-effort.
To hell with them, Lee -- do it yourself, only don't expect any thanks or free love from your bosses.
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The unexplained phenomenon that crippled the U.S.S. Unimpeachable --
Gaseous Anomaly...
What anomalises gaseously.
Oh, bugger. He called my bluff.
So now what do I do? How do I make a sh*t-hot corporate legal webpage? They're definitely attached to the blue, it's the company colour, so I'll have to use it a bit. . .
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"The next time the workplace seems especially hectic, remind yourself it could be worse: you could have two-dozen sharp-toothed creatures chewing on your nipples." - James Lileks
Well done, and good luck. You have them where you want them. I think.
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The unexplained phenomenon that crippled the U.S.S. Unimpeachable --
Gaseous Anomaly...
What anomalises gaseously.
Apart from that nugget, my knowledge of webdesign stretches about as far as my bedroom door to one inch outside my bedroom door.
Still, I've always liked the format of having a left-aligned border, with links to all the important bits on your site. It can add a bit of colour, and enable you to get to the information quickly.
And a nice logo never hurt anyone either.
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You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park
GAH!
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"If you will not have me as myself, Perhaps as someone else. Perhaps as you, I'll be worth noticing. Then even a eunuch won't resist, The power of one kiss, from such as me.
I'll be that girl: and you would be right over. If I were a field, you would be in clover. If I were the sun, you would be in shadow. If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow."
~ Barenaked Ladies
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"And much of Madness, and more of Sin, and Horror the soul of the plot."
--
The Conqueror Worm, by Edgar Allan Poe
Leave the logo where it is, but make the rest of the page plain white, maybe with dark blue text. The navigation bar could remain blue too, or change it to horizontal. "London * Birmingham * Bristol * ..." would look more impressive, like a sub-title.
Besides that, I have no idea how to cheer up such an incredibly boring thing like a lawyer page o:
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"Invaders from the fifth dimension!" - or: the canon proof that subspace is the same as hyperspace
Ex Astris Scientia
There was a Dilbert cartoon a few months ago in which Dogbert is pretending to be a doctor. A man comes to him and says "there's something wrong with my elbow." Dogbert asks to have a look at ity, and the man drops his trousers. Dogbert suggests a career in Marketing. I sent this strip to them. . . they didn't get it. 8)
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"The next time the workplace seems especially hectic, remind yourself it could be worse: you could have two-dozen sharp-toothed creatures chewing on your nipples." - James Lileks
Plus I've done my own logo from scratch. . . very useful, having it as a true type font!
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"The next time the workplace seems especially hectic, remind yourself it could be worse: you could have two-dozen sharp-toothed creatures chewing on your nipples." - James Lileks
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You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park
Next question: how in PSP 5 can I get a GIF with a transparent background?
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"The next time the workplace seems especially hectic, remind yourself it could be worse: you could have two-dozen sharp-toothed creatures chewing on your nipples." - James Lileks
*pause*
"*sigh* what did you do?"
I asked someone else.
(Now that was a useful post wasn't it?)
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You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park
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"Freedom is best, I tell thee true, of all things to be won. Then never live within the bond of slavery, my son." - The real William Wallace
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"Sully, for Shame! And don't be foolish! What are we trying to practice every day? If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we've destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don't you think that we might see eachother once or twice?"
- Jonathan Livingston Seagull
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"The next time the workplace seems especially hectic, remind yourself it could be worse: you could have two-dozen sharp-toothed creatures chewing on your nipples." - James Lileks
Head to
http://flare.solareclipse.net/Forum11/HTML/000094.html
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The unexplained phenomenon that crippled the U.S.S. Unimpeachable --
Gaseous Anomaly...
What anomalises gaseously.
. . . only yhe effect wasn't quite what I wanted, so I've gone back to the drawing board on that one. I mean, the silver colour is pretty standard, so I've just used that as the background to the GIF.
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"The next time the workplace seems especially hectic, remind yourself it could be worse: you could have two-dozen sharp-toothed creatures chewing on your nipples." - James Lileks
Sorry.... I wasn't coherent last night.
And you make an HTML table with no border to align the navigation on one side of the page and the content on the other.
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"Sully, for Shame! And don't be foolish! What are we trying to practice every day? If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we've destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don't you think that we might see eachother once or twice?"
- Jonathan Livingston Seagull