I now reproduce a conversation that took place in this very computer cluster, to which i was privy. It is typical of several I have overheard (well, had rammed into my ears actually...)
A COMPUTER CLUSTER
1st american girl, [blonde, curvy, has look of being on dope]:
Hiiii-yaaaaah!
2nd American girl [brunette, cow-ring through ear cartilidge]:
Heeeee--aaaaaaayyy. D'J'a'know I was just having THE straayyyyyngest conversation?
Girl #1:
owwww????
Girl #1:
Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaah;
With this English girl? She was - like - talking about, ahhhh, books and stuff? And I was like - whoooooooooaah! What IS she say-ying?
Girl #1:
Ow, yeaaaaaaaaaaaahhh. That is just SO weeeeeird?
{Enter Goofy bloke, with similar drawl. Curly blonde hair, huge glasses, buck teeth, ring through nose and slightly cross-eyed]
Goofy bloke:
HEY Y'ALL!!!
[room turns to look at him, before all but two girls return to their computer screens]
Girl #1:
WHOOOOOOOAAH! Neat-O Brad!
Goofy Guy:
Thayy-nx. Hey, y'know I love you guys? Huh?
Girl #1:
Owwwwwww.
Girl #2:
Hey BrAAAAAAAAAAD what's up?
Goofy Guy:
HEY! We're all goin out into town n'night.
Yeeeeeeeeeah. {so&so}'s gonna show us this really NEAt club where you can Vodkah reeealy cheap? Huh?
Girl #2:
Greaaaat.
[Monty gets up and leaves at this point.]
Has America adopted a policy of deporting its resident lunatics, or were you unaware these freaks had escaped through your border checks?
Please reassure me the continent over the Atlantic considers these.... things as freakish and vile as I.
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"You will be swept away....
You, your men, your ship, your WORLDS!"
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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
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--Then, said Cranly, do you not intend to become a protestant?
--I said that I had lost the faith, Stephen answered, but not that I had lost self-respect. What kind of liberation would that be to forsake an absurdity which is logical and coherent and to embrace one which is illogical and incoherent?
James Joyce, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.
And I doubt that the girl you met could have even told you who James Joyce was.
Tell me that some Americans are not very bright and I'll say: "ya so? Tell me something I don't already know."
There are quite a few who are, only they don't sit in computer clusters talking loudly about their hair style.
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If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it. Why should the race always be to the swift or the jumble to the quick-witted? Should they be allowed to win merely because of the gifts God gave them? Well, I say cheating is the gift man gives himself!
~C. Montgomery Burns
[This message has been edited by Jay (edited November 28, 1999).]
Sorry if they are inconveniencing you, but you may not have to put up with them indefinitely. Judging by the sound of their "conversation" (perhaps "vocalization" is less insulting to those of us who fully appreciate the power of speech?) they will (with any luck) succumb to Darwinian pressures before they are able to reproduce. After all, yours is the land of drive-on-the-left. They undoubtedly find this endlessly confusing. They have to cross the street some time. One can only hope.
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"It is required of every man," the Ghost returned, "that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellowmen, and travel far and wide; and if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death. It is doomed to wander through the world -- oh, woe is me! -- and witness what it cannot share, but might have shared on earth, and turned to happiness!"
-- Jacob Marley's Ghost (A Christmas Carol -- Charles Dickens)
http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm
[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited November 29, 1999).]
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"It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came and the grasshopper died and the octopus ate all his acorns, and then he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?."
--
Futurama
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*gasp* "The pictures...they're...coming...alive!"
-Abe Simpson, on the miracle of the moving image
I'd have to say though, on a percentage ratio, you guys seem to be above average in the 'ignorance of all things not ours' ratio.
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"Diplomacy is the art of Internationalising an issue to your advantage"
Field Marshal Military Project
http://fieldmarshal.virtualave.net
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Fool of a Took, throw yourself in next time!!
Gandalf
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*smacks forehead* UBB code doesn't work on webpages, dumb@$$! *continues smacking forehead*
-Me, while completing my website's new look
Fabrux's Starship Page