Europe English The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!
Joke Site Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
Wunderbar!
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
I've seen a version which ends something like "and zen evrivun vil bi spiking German like ve vanted to begin vis!"
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
I was going to say that "you know you're getting old when you start seeing jokes from ten years ago repeated like they're new" — but then it occurred to me that everything on the internet gets repeated like it's new.
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
Wunderbar!
Posted by Da_bang80 (Member # 528) on :
quote:Originally posted by MinutiaeMan: I was going to say that "you know you're getting old when you start seeing jokes from ten years ago repeated like they're new" — but then it occurred to me that everything on the internet gets repeated like it's new.
You mean like this one:
What's long and hard and full of semen? A submarine.
And like all the good Darwin Awards?
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Pretty much, yeah.
Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
I have never seen this one before. I actually thought this was news...
Oh well, now when I misspell words, I kan tel my teacher zat I'm speking European Eenglish. Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
M. N. Women : How did you manage a double post with nearly a five-hour gap in between?
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
Time-travel.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
I'm pretty sure it was a joke.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
No Ebonics was a joke.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
THIS JOKE IS EITHER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY YEARS OLD OR SLIGHTLY LESS OLD.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)