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Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :
 
Right! You've had it easy for a while, but I'm in a MEAN mood tonight, so no more Mr. Nice Guy. . .

Yes, it's time for all you young folk to test your mettle on some Classic Trek! Over in alt.binaries.startrek some sad gt has been posting vidcaps from all the episodes, and I've earmarked a few for future use. Here come five (well, four and one other) of the best.

Fifth and lastly, a public appeal - we wanna see the Iconians again!


 


Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :
 
Spock: Computer... Hello, computer...

------------------
Ah... Now I enter these hallowed halls a conqueror... Yes...

-Megatron, "The Agenda, Part Three"


 


Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :
 
Jim Kirk! Captain Jim Kirk! He's the best Captain in history! From the state of Iowa, he's about to hit a chestnut tree! D'oh!

------------------
Ah... Now I enter these hallowed halls a conqueror... Yes...

-Megatron, "The Agenda, Part Three"


 


Posted by The Vorlon (Member # 52) on :
 
Kirk: *looks down* "Damn! So NOW the viagra kicks in!"

Spock: *looks down* "Nope, nothing yet..."

------------------
Lyta Vorlon: "Our great mistake. Our failing. And now your failing. The error is compounded."
Delenn: "What mistake?"
Lyta Vorlon: "The first one, the one from which all mistakes proceed: The error of Pride..."

-- Kalesh Naranek, Last of the Vorlon
www.orc.ca/~jheinbuc/
 


Posted by The Vorlon (Member # 52) on :
 
Kirk: "Spock?"

Spock: "Yes, Jim?"

Kirk: "Would you mind putting that shifter knob back? I sorta can't drive without it..."

Spock: "Sorry, Jim..."

------------------
Lyta Vorlon: "Our great mistake. Our failing. And now your failing. The error is compounded."
Delenn: "What mistake?"
Lyta Vorlon: "The first one, the one from which all mistakes proceed: The error of Pride..."

-- Kalesh Naranek, Last of the Vorlon
www.orc.ca/~jheinbuc/
 


Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Spock: "Dateline: Iotia. With Oxmyx and his men on the move, Elliot Ness and his faithful sidekick Spock speed down to bust up a neighborhood speakeasy."

Kirk: "What's that, Spock?"

Spock: "Uh...nothing, sir."

------------------
"I'll be the sky above the Ganges
I'll be the vast and stormy sea.
I'll be the lights that guide you inward.
I'll be the visions you will see."
--
R.E.M.


 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Kirk: Of course I can drive, Spock...just tell me which one is the decelaratron and which one is the velocitrix.

------------------
"Ooga Chucka Ooga Ooga" - Some Guy

 


Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
 
Kirk: Just TRUST me Spock. You are not supposed to look down that part of the weapon!

------------------
Calvin: Reality continues to ruin my life.


 


Posted by Bernd (Member # 6) on :
 
Kirk: Is that a phaser in your hand or fascinating Vulcan physiology?

------------------
Brain. Brain. What is brain? (Kara the Eymorg, "Spock's Brain")
www.uni-siegen.de/~ihe/bs/startrek/

 


Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
 
First Officer's log: When the captain couldn't drive the automobile, he through a tantrum... again.

------------------
With the first link, a chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all
irrevocably." Capt. Jean-Luc Picard - The Drumhead

 


Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :
 
Kirk: Spock, Spock, gorgeous girl, 11 o'clock

------------------
"YOU SMEG!"



 


Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :
 
Spock: This is a big gun
Kirk: *smiles* that's what she said
Spock: She wasn't wearing her glasses was she
Kirk: Why you @*###$�%&*(^&$%^*@$^%

------------------
"YOU SMEG!"


[This message was edited by Orion Syndicate on March 15, 1999.]
 


Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :
 
Spock: "I must confess, Jim, I am unable to comprehend the controls for this vehicle. However, I do believe I have located the photon torpedoes. *HORN BLARES* Hmm. Perhaps not. . ."
 
Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
After Star Trek was cancelled, Shatner and Nimoy try to defray living costs by robbing banks.

------------------
"But then, all good things must come to an end." - Q, All Good Things...
 


Posted by Captain Stark (Member # 70) on :
 
"Can you believe it Spock? That guy standing in the road called me a Double DumbA$$"

------------------
-=/\=-
Captain Stark
http://members.aol.com/captaincks/readyroom.html

"The man on the top walks a lonly path. The chain of command is often a noose." Dr. Leonard McCoy --Obsession
 


Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 
Spock: "Are we there yet?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "Now are we there?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "You're lost, aren't you?"

Kirk: "I'm not lost. I'm just taking an alternate route.'

Spock: "You're lost. Why not just ask someone for directions?"

Kirk: "No. I'm sure it's around here somewhere."

Spock: "You human males can be so illogical."

Kirk: "Matt Drudge called-- he wants his hat back."
 


Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 
Kirk: "It's 400 light years to Earth, we've got a full tank of gas, a hundred rounds of ammo, it's the 23rd Century, and we're wearing fedoras."


Spocko: "Hit it."
 


Posted by deadcujo (Member # 13) on :
 
"Spock, can you...feel...the power?"

------------------
The morbid dog known as shaun lyle...
 


Posted by Warped1701 (Member # 40) on :
 
Spock: This is a most intriguing microscope, Captain.

Kirk: I wonder about the big stick and huge circle......

------------------
Risk is our business! That's what this starship is all about....that's why we're aboard her!"

 


Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :
 
Sorry, THIS I can't resist, after reading Xentrick's post:

Spock: "Arewethereyet?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "Arewethereyet?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "Arewethereyet?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "Arewethereyet?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "Arewethereyet?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "Arewethereyet?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "Arewethereyet?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "Arewethereyet?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "Arewethereyet?"

Kirk: "No."

Spock: "Arewethereyet?"

Kirk: "No."

This could go on forever. . . but I think that's quite enough! 8)
 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Kirk: When asked you to take shotgun, I didn't think you'd do it literally!

------------------
"You bellowed?" - Black Arachnia - Agenda

 


Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 
Kirk: "Damn! I missed."


Spocko: "It's okay, Captain. I got him with the door."
 


Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
 
Apparently the Iotians book din't mention anything about a "clutch" as engine parts lay strewn in the street behind Kirk and the car.

Spock: Captain, perhaps you should stomp on *all* the pedals at the same time.

Kirk: You want to come over here and drive???

Spock: Well, I was only...

Kirk: Oh, shut up will you.

------------------
Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.

~Pablo Picasso
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Spock: I'm sorry Captain, the primitive communications signal appears to be receiving messages from someone called 'Tony Blackburn'

Kirk: ARGHHHHH! I WILL KILL HIM!

------------------
'Lasts longer than any other type of milk does dog's milk.'
'Why's that Hol?'
'No bugger'll drink it'
Holly and Lister.
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Spock: Captain, I think Lou ripped us off when he sold us this car

Kirk: Damn him. How are we suppossed to take part in Toadfish's cunning scheme now?

Spock: I don't know. We could ask Madge for help, but the universal translator doesn't work on her voice.

[This message was edited by PsyLiam on March 19, 1999.]
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Kirk: Damn, the...engineshave...stopped...again.

Spock: Indeed. The clutch seems to stall as much as your speech.

*rim shot*

*collected groans from audiences*

Spock: Aww, shud'up

------------------
'Lasts longer than any other type of milk does dog's milk.'
'Why's that Hol?'
'No bugger'll drink it'
Holly and Lister.
 


Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
 
Kirk *reading instruction manual*: Hmmmm..... How to Drive, part one. Turn on engine, check. Move gear to Drive, ok, got that. Press the Brake pedal and release the Parking brake, yep. The steering wheel turns the car in the direction you want to go. To move car forward, please release brake pedal, and press the gas pedal........

VROOOOOOOMMMMM........ CRAAAASSSSHHHHH

Kirk: Note- to avoid risk of accident and personal injury, please press gas pedal lightly........ Let's see now, part two, how to avoid accidents............

------------------
I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

[This message was edited by Tahna Los on March 20, 1999.]
 


Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 
Spock: "I have never participated in the traditional human ceremony of the 'drive-by shooting,' but I have read about it extensively. What precisely will this entail?"


Kirk: "Well, we'll cruise into the hood, and when we see the perp chillin with his posse, you pull out your gat and bust a cap in his ass."


Spock: "Captain, are you quite sure you haven't confused 'gangstas' with 'gangsters?'"


Kirk: "Word up."
 


Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 
Spock: "I did warn you, Captain, they always cheat you at the drive-through."

Kirk: "Dammit, Spock, I want my side order of fries."
 


Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Spock: "Mr. Gun says we must purge the city tonight, sir."

Kirk: "Then purge we shall."

------------------
"I'll turn everything around and confuse you. I'll fix it so you can't remember what was true."
--
They Might Be Giants
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Spock: You know Captain, wearing a hat can make you go bald.

Kirk: nonsense Spock. There is absolutly no proof that wearing a OH MY GOD WHY IS HAIR FALLING ON MY NOSE?

Spock: Told you.

------------------
'Not the sponge, not the sponge!'
-Marty Crane

 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Spock: Captain, I suggest urgency, they are about to reach us.

Kirk: More haste, less speed Spock. Now, first check the mirror...hmm, looking good today...now, signal, and wait for a gap in the traffic, and then slowly pull out. Oh, wait, forgot my seatbelt.

Spock: Captain, hurry (quietly puts an X on his paper)

Kirk: A careful driver is a living driver. (gets shot by gang in the head) Except in this case. Oh well *dies*

Spock: Oh, bugger.

------------------
'Not the sponge, not the sponge!'
-Marty Crane

 


Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :
 
The winner is Krenim - a parody of a Simpsons parody of the Flintstones?! Runners-up are Xentrick (for the Lethal Weapon 2 and Blues Brothers parodies) and a newcomer to the roll of honour, Captain Stark - unheard of! A Star Trek parody in a Star Trek Caption Competition! Unconventional, but I like the cut of your jibb. . . 8)
 
Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 

 


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