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Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Well, here it is, the Phantom Menace Capcom! I will make it clear, though, please limit the spoilers, and if you haven't seen the movie yet and don't wish to be spoiled, then maybe you should wait outside...

First up, Anakin before the parole board...

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"I will remember you...Will you remember me?
Don't let your love pass you by...Weep not for the memories..."
Sarah McLachlan

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Yoda: You serve 30 months of life sentence. Feel you rehabilitated?

Anakin: Yeah, I mean, I've learned my lesson. I'm a changed boy. I'm no more danger to society, that's God's honest truth....... Absolutely rehabilitated...... uhhhhh.........

*Yoda stamps REJECTED on his card*

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

[This message has been edited by Tahna Los (edited August 23, 1999).]

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Yoda *to the three*: Explain why you not be fired without using letter "E".

Anakin: Well ummmm....... uhhhh.......

Obi-Wan: uhhh..... I'm a good...... work....... guy?

Yoda: You fired.

Qui-Gon: But we did not use the letter........

*trap door opens*

Anakin: EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Qui-Gon: "So, why don't you tell the nice audience about your pod race, Anakin?"

Anakin: "Well, ladies and germs, when they said 'pod race,' I thought they meant a race of pod-people. I said, 'Sure, that'll be easy!'"

heckler: "I can see your lips moving, Qui-Gon!"

Obi-Wan: "Wow, tough room."

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Yoda: "Know you what a quarter-pounder with cheese in France called is?"

Mace Windu: "They don't call it a quarter-pounder with cheese?"

Yoda: "No, metric system have they. Not know what a quarter pounder is, would they."

Mace Windu: "Then what do they call it?"

Yoda: "'Royale' with cheese it is called."

Mace Windu: "A 'Royale' with cheese! What do they call a Big Mac?"

Yoda: "Big Mac a Big Mac is, but 'le Big Mac' they say."

Mace Windu: "'Le Big Mac'!" Ha ha ha ha! What do they call a Whopper?"

Yoda: "Not know, do I. Go to Burger King I did not."

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"I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you. Trust in me and fall as well."
--
Tool

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Qui-Gon: We ask the council again, which light-saber do you claim that young Anakin stole.

Mace Windu: *shouts* Mine!

Qui-Gon: Can you identify it?

Mace Windu: Mine is the one that says "Bad-ass Mother F***** on it!

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This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
~ C. Mongomery Burns

[This message has been edited by Jay (edited August 23, 1999).]

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Announcer's voice: "Now. let's see who we'll be visiting in Camberwick Green this week. . ."

*round thing rotates, and out of the floor rise Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Anakin*

Yoda: "What? Expecting Windy Miller we were!"

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Yoda: "Life-like these manequins are. Clothing like small one want I."

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Yoda: And the number 3, it shall be, and 3 shalt be the number, 4 is right out!!!

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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Q: "You're wrong, Qui-gon, the trial never ended!"

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"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Qui-Gon: Masters, I'm really tired of Obi-Won's jokes! I'd like to kick him out, and train the boy!!

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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx

Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :

Anakin: "At last, we meet face to face, Optimus Prime!"

Yoda: "If think you sit here I will and get face blown off, crazy are you!"

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Darlene: I read a lot of science fiction.
Herbert: Bless you, my child.
Kay: The world needs more people like you.

-Deep Space Nine, "Far Beyond the Stars."

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

Obi Wan: *whispering* Master, why all the windows in here? it seems so...disruptive, all the transports flying past...

Qui-Gon: *also whispering, looking straight ahead* Quiet, Obi Wan. Master Yoda is claustrophobic...he shrinks more and more when he is in a closed in space.

Obi Wan: but...what of his hut on Degobah?

Qui-Gon: it is his destiny...he will someday shrink away into nothingness...

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}��

Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :

Qui Gon: Darn, all the seats are taken, I guess we'll just have to stand here until someone leaves...

Obi Wan: But...

Qui Gon: No, Obi Wan, we must not rush them, they know what they are doing.

Anakin: Can I go first?

Qui Gon: No.

*Mace Windu gets up an leaves*

Qui Gon: Aha! Finally, an open toilet! *runs to the open seat* Man, I need this.

Obi Wan: *whispers* I get the next one..

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"I am Sci-Fi"
-The 359

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Yoda: "All Jedi belief is around three. Three castes: Master, Student, Annoying Brat. Three languages: Light, Dark, and Gray. The nine of the Jedi council, three times three. All is three, as you are three, as you are one, as you are the ONE. You (Qui-Gon) are the one who was. You (Obi-Wan) are the one who is. You (Anakin) are the one who will be. You (Qui-Gon) are the beginning of the story and (Obi-Wan) the middle of the story, and (Anakin) the end of story, that creates the next great story. In heart you know what Yoda says is true."

Obi-Wan: *whispers* "I think he's losing it. . ."

Yoda: "Heard that I did. Narf!"

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Phase 1: Steal Underpants
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit!

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

Dude. That actually made SENSE.

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�From Me all things proceed and unto Me they must return. Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold � all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you. ... Know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without. For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am that which is attained at the end of desire.�

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

That's the scary part!

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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

*blinks* Well, I'll be - so it does. Hey, what can I say - *buffs nails on lapel* I'm cool. 8)

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Phase 1: Steal Underpants
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit!

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Yoda: You owe us 1 million credits in phone charges! Why haven't you paid?!

Anakin: Um, uh, ...Well...

Mace: Don't lie to us! We're the Psychic Friends Network!

Yoda: See through you we can!

Qui-Gon, Obie-Wan, Anakin: *GULP*

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"I will remember you...Will you remember me?
Don't let your love pass you by...Weep not for the memories..."
Sarah McLachlan

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

"The Chair recognizes the Delegate from planet Spielberg" ...

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Mace: "As punishment, Anakin, you must stand in the corner."

Anakin: "But, there isn't a..."

Yoda: "Failed already, he has."

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Judging will be done by the Jedi Council.

Yoda: Begin shall I. The 359, win you have first place. Council seats double as toilets, they do...Sit here for days, we have.
Second place, the Council names The First One. Explanation of Jedi well said. Better than what Lucas has.

Honorable mention, given to Tahna for continuing parole joke.

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"I will remember you...Will you remember me?
Don't let your love pass you by...Weep not for the memories..."
Sarah McLachlan

Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :

Woah, killer, I won 2 of the contests...sweet

*happy*

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"I am Sci-Fi"
-The 359