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Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Well, despite the current turmoil of who is going to take over, I'm going to fill in for this week. I hope I can at least keep everyone satisfied until the situation is settled.

Secondly, a scene from Generations...

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Capcoms Forever! Long Live the Great and Almight Capcom!

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Kirk gets swamped by the Starfleet National Inquirer........

Kirk: I didn't do it.

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

[This message has been edited by Tahna Los (edited October 16, 1999).]

Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :

Reporter: Captain Kirk, you've just come out of retirement to attend the launching of the Enterprise-B! What are you going to do next?

Kirk: I'm going to Disney World!

Chekov: Nexus, sir.

Kirk: But after that, I'm going to Disney World!

Chekov: Death, sir.

Kirk: But after that, I'm going to Disney World!

Chekov: Uhm...

Kirk: Why not? Spock did...

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"Alright... Who wrote 'Beavis and Butthead rule' on the back of my skull?"

- Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek Parody, The Critic

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Paramount's "Hall of Star Trek" opens its doors:

Trekkie in front #1: "Wow, they're SO lifelike!"

Trekkie in front #2: "Yeah, they're really making animatronics well these days!"

Reporter#1: "We're recording the robots' words for broadcast on the news."

Reporter#2: "Can you get what the little guy is saying? It's coming out garbled."

Shatner: "But we're the REAL actors!!!"

Koenig: "Speak for yourself. I'm getting paid more for this gig than I did as Chekov.. I mean, as myself, sir. *ahem* "Uh..'Ve hef located the nuclear wessels, kiptin!'"

Shatner: "Jimmy??"

Doohan: "Ach! Th' warp fields arr collapsin, cap'n! She cannae take much more 'o this!"

Shatner: "ARRRGH!"

Trekkie #1: "Must be some glitch with this one. Figures."

Trekkie #2 "Ham."

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'In every country and in every age the priest has been hostile to Liberty; he is always in allegiance to the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection of his own." ---- Thomas Jefferson

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Chekov: "For the record, my client regrets any pain he may have caused because of his 'inappropriate' relationship with Ms. Lewinsky, but wants to get on with the business of the Federation."

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

(Hariman, thinking) I gotta get rid of him before he takes over the ship.

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"One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor". George Carlin

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Kirk: "Don't you 'Captain of the Enterprise' me, young man! You're Cameron, and you'll always be Cameron!"

Harriman: "Yeah, but who'd wanna be Ferris today? I mean, did you see Godzilla?"

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Press people: But sir, how then do you explain all those dead bodies laying around the ship then....if not for...

Kirk: People, please. I want to assure all members of the press that Godzilla is nowhere in the vacinity. Even if Godzilla were here, which I emphasize he is not, starfleet can handle the problem.

Press people: What about other monsters like Megalon, or Mothra, or perhaps a Dracula or a Frankenstein? What about the Werewolf and the Mummy. Could Starfleet handle all of them combined???

Kirk: Folks, there is no reason to worry. The only monsters here are on mine and Mr. Chekov's head.

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What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
~C. Mongomery Burns

[This message has been edited by Jay (edited October 13, 1999).]

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

Chekov: For the record, my client NEVER said her bum looked big in that.

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"...when all that is driving my heart forward
is you, thoughts of you, hopes for you,
and a fading dream with a Mona Lisa smile
that whispers "are you thinking of me too?"

38 days till the dreams become reality...

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Reporter: "General, aren't you risking worldwide alarm by carrying out a military coup in a country possessing a nuclear weapons capability?"

General: "The Pakistani armed forces categorically deny that our nation has developed nuclear weapons, and besides they're not going to be ready until Tuesday. . . D'Oh!"

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Reporter: "Captain Kirk, is it true you've slaughtered an innocent, cooing life-form and placed it on your head?"

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Harriman: "Captain Kirk, I'd be honoured if you gave the word to get us underway."

Kirk: "No no no."

Harriman: "I insist. It wouldn't be an Enterforum without a debate at the opening."

Kirk: "All right... 'Christianity.'"

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Gepta001 (Member # 231) on :

Shatner: I hate doing conventions.

Walter: Shit, I forgot to take my Imodium.

Jimmy Doohan: Ah Shatner, Damn't they told me ya wouldn't be here.

Shatner: I'm ignoring you Doohan. Damnit here comes another crazy fan, where's security when you need it?

Cameron: My friend Ferris tricked me to come here, even though I have cold and I feel terrible. But hey Captain Kirk, can you beam me up? Ferris Ditched me and is singing Twist and Shout on the Float, and I don't know how I'm going to tell my dad I ruined his car.

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and I, I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the diference.

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

First place goes to Xentrick. I hope Kirk doesn't smoke cigars...
Second place goes to Krenim. I was thinking Disneyworld too, hehehe.

Honorable mention goes to First One for the Pakistani gag.

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"I'm looking for someone to change my life.
I'm looking for a miracle in my life.
And if you could see, what its done to me...
To lose the love I knew, could safely lead me to
The land that I one knew...
To learn as we grow old, the secrets of our souls."
Question, The Moody Blues

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

No, but he feels our pain. Thanks