Come up with the worst title and 2-3 line ditty about a possible New Star Trek Series!
Example:
In TOS, Kirk was a ladies man; In TNG, Picard was an intellectual. IN DS9, Sisko was PASSIONATE and in Voyager; Janeway was a control-freak. Now, making its television debut, Star Trek: The New series. Join Captain Wannabe Admiral on his quest for total domination. Just when you thought the Borg were a threat ... Think again... Captain Admiral is a Borg's worst nightmare..
Anyways.. I think you get the picture.
Be creative .. make it wacko .. Make it outrageously funny !!
Good Luck. Judging will be in a week. Get those creative wheels turning!!
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I feel more like I do now, then when I first got here!! :)
- Alshrim Dax
The Other Dax;
sorry... I had to.... I don't know why, but I couldn't help it.......
~LOA
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"When the toast is burnin', all the milk has turned'
and Captain Crunch is waving farewell....
When the big one finds you, may this song remind you
that they don't serve breakfast in Hell!" ~Newsboys, Breakfast
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I feel more like I do now, then when I first got here!! :)
- Alshrim Dax
The Other Dax;
Wrestling + Jerry Springer + Pokemon + Teenage Soap Operas...Imagine the possibilities
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No I'm Spartacus!
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"I suppose you thought I was dead? No such thing. Don't flatter yourselves that I haven't got my eye upon you. I am wide awake, and you give plenty to look at."
Household Words, Aug. 24, 1850
From the Raven in the Happy Family
With an all-new, 2-mile-long, super-Dreadnought with EIGHT warp nacelles and 147 type XXVII phaser banks!
We show, and destroy, a new class of ship each week!
See! The Space Vixens of Succubus 4!
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Calvin: "No efficiency, no accountability... I tell you, Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a Universe." -- Bill Watterson
Onboard the Olympic Class starship USS Juggs, the crew is in a state of alert as it is being attacked by 5 Breen ships.
::Bridge::
Captian: "Where the hell is that new weapons officer?"
Commander Sleeze: "I think she was in the head, doing her hair. She was going in with a frappachino in her hand."
Captian: "What the hell, I guess I expected that from someone who was given a rank of Lt. after leaving Starfleet Academy. If that bitch doen't get here soon, I'm gonna..."
*explosions of bridge consoles and hardware, ship rocks violently*
Ensign Onnatop: "Oh my God, they killed Capt. Kenny!! Shit, so is Commander Sleeze!! Now who's gonna command the damn ship?"
Just at that moment, the weapons officer walks out of the head
Ensign: "Lt. Spears, you're alive?"
Lt. Spears: "Well yes silly. Status??"
Ensign: "Shields down to 12% and other than yourself,
the rest of the senior staff is dead."
Lt. Spears: "How does my chest look? I spilled mocha frappachino on myself while we were attacked."
Ensign: "Not now, those damn Breen bastards are going to kill us!!"
Lt. Spears: "Oh yeah, let them try!" She opens hailing frequencies "This is Lt. Brittney Spears of the USS Juggs. You really know how to piss a girl off, don't you? Well, I'd like if you morons can blow us up? Try you trigger happy meanies! *SCREAMING* "I dare you!!HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!!!"
With that said, the lead Breen ship fires one more shot at the USS Juggs and the ship explodes.
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Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time
-Britney Spears
Anyway...
"Space, that big, black, sparkly thing out there. These are the meanderings of the shuttlecraft Shuttlecraft 03. Its so-called 'mission': To play disco every Thursday during Ladies' Night. To establish at least twelve Starbucks' on each planet in the galaxy. To imitate really bad British accents and say things like 'Pip-pip! Cheerio!' and 'Right! What all this, then?'" *porno-style music plays*
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"If you attempt to return the device to the store, and you are missing one single peanut, the store personnel will laugh in the chilling manner exhibited by Joseph Stalin just after he enslaved Eastern Europe."
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I feel more like I do now, then when I first got here!! :)
- Alshrim Dax
The Other Dax;
*Begin Melrose Place theme music*
The Federation starship Melrose isn't your ordinary starship. It has the most colorful crew in Starfleet...and the most slap-happy.
Capt. Peter Burns: "Let me get this straight, you tried to kill Dr. Mancini again? Kimberley, what do you have to say for yourself?"
Lt. Kimberley Mancini: *slap* "Of course I can try again, we're married and he's trying to hook up with his ex-wife Jane again!!"
There's mayhem...
Commander Amanda Woodworth: "This is for trying to sleep your way up the command chain you bitch." *slap*
Lt. Alyson Parker: "What was that for, you didn't complain last night..."
There's seduction...
Lt. Parker: "Billy, do you want to give me an physical in sickbay?"
Lt. Cmdr. Billy Cambell: *slap* "What the hell are you talking about? I'm not a doctor!"
There's a fight a day...
Lt. Jane Mancini: "Why won't you be a good little whore and die! It would do the ship much good."
Ensign Lexi Sterling: *whack* "You know, for a ship's counselor, you really suck. Lucky for me, I know how to whack my problems." *grin*
And there are a lot of people bed-hopping and clothes flying...
Lt. M. Fielding: "Oh my..uhhh..uh..more, more..."
Lt. Cmdr. Harry Kim: "Shhh...keep it down or the engineering crew will find out what I meant by plugging a hole in the Jeffries tube."
So stay tune for the series premire of Star Trek: Melrose 2375 followed by the season premire of Biker Babes from the Planet Estrogena.
*End Melrose Place theme music*
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Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling, I need to walk in
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart
-Backstreet Boys
[This message has been edited by Michael_T (edited January 21, 2000).]
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Gene: "I AM Star Trek"
Yvonne: "You can't sum yourself up in so small a package."
Gene: "SMALL?!!"
- Gene Roddenberry: The Last Conversation
Admiral Ross: "This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
1 hour later...
Admiral Ross: "...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been an actual emergency, the signal you just heard would have been followed by instructions."
Announcer: "Next time on Star Trek: EBS..."
Admiral Ross: "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
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"We exist in a boundless time continuum. There is no weekend!"
- Zorak, "Hungry," Space Ghost: Coast to Coast.
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"Voyager is not true. If it were true, the ship would not look spick-and-span every week, after all these battles it goes through. How many times has the bridge been destroyed? How many shuttlecrafts have vanished, and another one just comes out of the oven? That kind of bullshitting the audience I think takes its toll."
-Ronald D. Moore
Cue Music: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys whatcha gunna do when they come for you" (In Klingonese)
Fade in: Mev'YAP! Koldor seize this Patak and his costume and throw him in the brig
Koldor: "YES! Sir"
Fade out:
"Pat'aK, Pat'aK, Ijeh te'h op'Q Ta? Ije'Ph T'Ye op'K YjiQ U'w yott'r go gagQ'h?"
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"...it might be easier to study
ancient societies from distant orbit than it might be to sit next to the
Guardian of Forever with a tricorder." - Baloo, January 2000
The Simpstrek: The USS Springfield explores the... the, uh... the... D'oh!
Monday Night Star Trek: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME STAR TREK???!!!
Federation's Funniest Home Videos: People from all over the galaxy send in their home holorecordings of hilarious events into their lives.
Star Trek: The Weather Channel: Wondering if it's sunny on Qo'noS? Want to know if that plasma storm will hit your neighborhood?
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Col. Maybourne: "Teal'c... It's good to see you well."
Teal'c: "In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you."
-Stargate SG-1: "Touchstone"
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"...it might be easier to study
ancient societies from distant orbit than it might be to sit next to the
Guardian of Forever with a tricorder." - Baloo, January 2000
Meet the Guys and Girls of Risa, and journey with them as the come face to face with Jama'Haron...
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"...it might be easier to study
ancient societies from distant orbit than it might be to sit next to the
Guardian of Forever with a tricorder." - Baloo, January 2000
Sex and Star Trek
Meet five very close girl pals onboard the Federation Starship Kelly. All of them are looking for love and ending up in very compromising positions......I mean situations.
Star Trek: Mating Rituals
A show about the different mating rituals in the Star Trek universe from the Romulans, to the Klingons, to the Breen, and to the humans.
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Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling, I need to walk in
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart
-Backstreet Boys
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"...it might be easier to study
ancient societies from distant orbit than it might be to sit next to the
Guardian of Forever with a tricorder." - Baloo, January 2000
some officer: "Y'know, sometimes I just don't know about Lieutenant Chalmers. Like, the other day, he put Andorian tapioca in my boots. I mean, what's this guy's problem?"
Lt. Chalmers: "He complained about that?! Oh, come on! I was just having a little fun! Just ribbing the guy, y'know? If he can't take a little joke, maybe he shouldn't be here."
some other officer: "They aren't just jokes. Chalmers is a jerk. Last week, he tuned my sonic shower to play a high-frequency rendition of Beethoven's ninth symphony. My body is going to be resonating the "Ode to Joy" for a month..."
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Col. Maybourne: "Teal'c... It's good to see you well."
Teal'c: "In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you."
-Stargate SG-1: "Touchstone"
*ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
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"...it might be easier to study
ancient societies from distant orbit than it might be to sit next to the
Guardian of Forever with a tricorder." - Baloo, January 2000
Join the exploration twosome of Tin Man (Gomtuu), a natural space-borne lifeform and Tam Elbran (Harry Groener - TV's Buffy: The Vampire Slayer), a powerful Betazoid telepath, as they journey throughout the Galaxy insearch of others of Tin Man's race...
[This message has been edited by AndrewR (edited January 25, 2000).]
Explore the dark underground caverns of Trill everyweek with unjoined Trill!
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"...it might be easier to study
ancient societies from distant orbit than it might be to sit next to the
Guardian of Forever with a tricorder." - Baloo, January 2000
"Today we will be exploring the native flora and fauna of Deneb; get up close to those voracious slime worms, find out how the Denebian clown-faced jackal gets its name, and learn why you should never tease the trap-flower."
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"I suppose you thought I was dead? No such thing. Don't flatter yourselves that I haven't got my eye upon you. I am wide awake, and you give plenty to look at."
Household Words, Aug. 24, 1850
From the Raven in the Happy Family
3rd Place:AndrewR with his Star Trek: Opera Cops
I liked the Cops Theme in Klingonese:
Pat'aK, Pat'aK, Ijeh te'h op'Q Ta? Ije'Ph T'Ye op'K YjiQ U'w yott'r go gagQ'h?"
2nd Place: Justin_Timberland with Star Trek: Starfleet Academy: I like this one cuz, Brittany Spears BITES IT !! 
And now .. for the Grand Prize of 100 Billion Cyber-Credits, and a 7 days and 7 nights where ever he'd like to go at StarTrek: Continuum (Enhanced Browser Mode):
Honourable mention still goes to TSN with Star Trek: The Weather Channel ..
Can you imagine ??? A five hour special on the Weather Trends of Risa !! Bwhahahahaha !!!!! They must have had a bad day when Worf Kiboshed the weather monitoring systems !!
Well played all..
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I feel more like I do now, then when I first got here!!
- Alshrim Dax
The Other Dax:
Live Long and Prosper
[This message has been edited by Alshrim Dax (edited January 26, 2000).]
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Gene: "I AM Star Trek"
Yvonne: "You can't sum yourself up in so small a package."
Gene: "SMALL?!!"
- Gene Roddenberry: The Last Conversation
Andrew
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"...it might be easier to study
ancient societies from distant orbit than it might be to sit next to the
Guardian of Forever with a tricorder." - Baloo, January 2000
I'm coming up with others ...
Please standby..
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I feel more like I do now, then when I first got here!! :)
- Alshrim Dax
The Other Dax:
My 5 year mission to score with really hot alien chicks.
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I am not responsible for the stupidity of other people.