Flare Sci-Fi Forums: Treachery, Faith and the Great CapCom

This is topic Treachery, Faith and the Great CapCom in forum Forum Competitions at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://flare.solareclipse.net/ultimatebb.php/topic/12/315.html

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

It's becoming really difficult to find good images for these. . . especially after 3 years! So, if anyone knows any good sites that might have promising material, please be sure to mention them. This week's images comes from a website called Phasers. 8)

[This message has been edited by Vogon Poet (edited March 10, 2001).]

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Janeway: "Any last words?"

woman: "Yeah. What the hell have you people been eating? Somebody's ass reeks..."

------------------
"...I know this board in secret, intimate ways which are beyond your comprehension.... Let's just say that people should *not* be telling me what to do; it should always be the other way around."
-"Red Quacker", conspiracy theorist and contemporary lunatic

Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :

Man: Why are you doing this to us, Captain Janeway?

Janeway: Captain Janeway? I'm not Captain Janeway, I'm Evil Janeway! I'm the composite of Old Captain Janeway, Young Psycho Janeway, and Old Psycho Janeway!

Woman: What kind of a backstory is that? Whoever came up with that should be shot!

*Krenim runs in and grabs the phaser from Evil Janeway*

Krenim: Okay, for that comment, you die first!

*ZAP*

------------------
"The Long Kiss Goodnight begins, more or less, with Geena Davis being kicked in the head by a deer. This was the high point of the film."

- Sol System, 2/24/01

Posted by Hobbes (Member # 138) on :

Janeway: "Alright, which one of you is Brannon Braga?"

------------------
Flare: Where sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Federation Starship Datalink: Brand new look, fresh minty scent, same great taste!

Posted by Antagonist (Member # 484) on :

Janeway: "You said bellpeppers and beef."

Woman: "Huh?"

Janeway: "There's no beef in this bellpeppers and beef. So you wouldn't exactly call it bellpeppers and beef, now would you?"

Woman: "Yes... I would, why?"

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPP!!!!!!

------------------
A student once asked the Master: "Master, what are the teachings of a lifetime?"
The Master replied: "An appropriate statement."
-From the Writings of Shinsei, the True Tao.

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Janeway: "My Vulcan love slave demands I execute you for desparaging his phasers website!"

Woman: "But ... half of the links didn't work, and it was bright green!"

Man: "And it smelled!"

Zap! Zap!

------------------
Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 6.27 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with four eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
****
"The candidate who slimed John McCain in the primaries and smeared Al Gore in the general election is now the president who pledges to elevate the nation's tone and bring civility to our discorse. Kind of like Michael Corleone brought peace to the mob by killing the heads of the other four families."
--Paul Begala, Is Our Children Learning?

Posted by Antagonist (Member # 484) on :

Janeway: "And you're sure this is the one, Ensign?"

Male Ensign: "Yess ma'am!"

Janeway: "Any last words before I kill you and your marketing director?"

Alien Woman: "Yes, we'd like to apologize, we had no idea the hemroid creme we produced would cause a rash like that!

------------------
A student once asked the Master: "Master, what are the teachings of a lifetime?"
The Master replied: "An appropriate statement."
-From the Writings of Shinsei, the True Tao.

Posted by Antagonist (Member # 484) on :

Alien man: "I've got a cunning plan, sir..."
Alien woman: "Shut up, Baldrick."

------------------
A student once asked the Master: "Master, what are the teachings of a lifetime?"
The Master replied: "An appropriate statement."
-From the Writings of Shinsei, the True Tao.

Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :

Janeway: "Death zig! For great revisionist history!!"

------------------
"For people with resources, the right events happen. They may look like coincidences, but they arise out of necessity." --T�rk Hviid

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Male Officer: Hey!

Female Officer: Hey!

Male Alien: Hey!

All: Hey! Hey! Hey!

Janeway: Macho Macho Man! I want to be, a Macho Man!

------------------
"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond, UB Stude

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Janeway: Which one of you called me a bitch?!

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Guy kneeling on the left: "What? Some of the links didn't work? Which ones?!"

------------------
Ross: This is not good for my rage. *takes another pill*

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

You know, that question = supreme wit & creativity.

You like, asked about your page, but YOU WERE STILL IN THE GAME!

I don't know how.

------------------
"I WANT A POST VOY SERIES STAR TREK ORIGINAL MESSAGE WAS LOOKING FORWARD NOT LOOKING BACK."

-Darkstar

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Janeway and the Voyager crew re-enact an old southern "shotgun wedding."

Janeway: Your going to marry my son girlie!

------------------
I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble
~ C. Montgomery Burns

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Janeway: I'm going to teach you not to slip a whoopie cushion on my chair!

Female Alien: *sniff* That was no whoopie cushion!

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Woman: Ok, so our investment team advised you to invest in Yahoo!.com at $130.00 a share...and so now it's trading at $19.00. What do you want me to do. You're a grown woman.

Man: Um, you aren't really helping our cause with the attitude.

Woman: Listen Mr. Lumpy Brow, shut the hell up and understand we're in a bear market here.

Janeway: Yes, but with the crew's pension fund gone, I have so few options left...and I think I might just enjoy this.

------------------
I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble
~ C. Montgomery Burns

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Janeway: Let me get this straight: you took all the money you made franchising the Voyager name and bet it against the Harlem Globetrotters?

Woman: Oh, I thought the Generals were due!

------------------
I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble
~ C. Montgomery Burns

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Janeway: What does Chakotay look like?

Man: He's a c-c-commander...

Janeway: Go on.

Woman: He's got tatoos...

Janeway: Does he look like a bitch?

Man: What?

Janeway: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?

Woman: NO!

Janeway: Then why you trying to f*** him like a bitch?

Man: I didn't!

Janeway: Yes you did. Yes you did. You tried to f*** him. And Commander Chakotay don't like to be f***ed by anybody, except the future Mrs. Commander Chakotay.

------------------
I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble
~ C. Montgomery Burns

[This message has been edited by Jay (edited March 12, 2001).]

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Janeway: Is That your Final Answer?

------------------
"Or maybe he was a real quack who got sick and tired of pissing people off, and decided to get a life and masterbate for the next 10 years."
- Me to Antagonist on Red Quacker, 03/08/01 20:15

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

Janeway: Now I'm going to ask you this only once and if I don't get the right answer, I'll kill you. Now, where the fuck did you hide my vibrator!

Woman: That was your vibrator, urghhh, then that's why it smelled so bad

------------------
The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #4

Of course I'll fucking beat Tyson 'arry! - Frank Bruno

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Janeway: How tall are you, private?

Female: Sir, 4 foot 3, Sir!

Janeway: 4'3? I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high. You trying to squeeze an inch on me, huh?

Female: Sir, No, Sir!

Posted by Michael Dracon (Member # 4) on :

Janeway: "Okay, lets have it!"

Female: "One..."

Janeway: "Go on..."

Female: "Two..."

Janeway: "Go on..."

Female: "Three..."

Janeway: "Yes..."

Female: "Four..."

Janeway: "And?"

Female: "Five... That's it..."

Janeway: "One, two, three, four, five? That's the password? Who in the world comes up with a password like that? Okay missy, turn around. You are getting a new nosejob!"

*BANG*

Janeway: "Your turn. What is the password?"

Male: "Peekaboo..."

Janeway: "Peekaboo? What kind of password is that? What's next? Are you going to confess that you worship Daffy Duck as a God or something?"

------------------
Terry: "Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, ...."
Max: "And?"
Terry: "I forgot."
Max: "Come on, Clinton was the fun one, then came the boring one."
Terry: "They're all boring."

- Batman Beyond (aka: Batman of the Future)

[This message has been edited by Altair (edited March 12, 2001).]

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Janeway: I simply said no. I wasn't angry. I just said that at this time I chose not to donate to your Chruch of the Mighty Zorster. No, I don't care for brownies...yes I know they are delecious but not at this time.

Would you take that for an answer? Obviously not.

I then declined your offer of reading material and other Chruch of Zorster information for us to take on our journey. Read them at your leisure you said. I'm a very busy star ship Captain I replied. Oh, come on, just take this one you said. No thank you, I said.

Would you listen? No. You just kept shoving pamphlets through the screen door at me and talking about the Mighty Zorster and how he changed your life in magical ways.

Well, I'm all set to change your life in magical ways right now my own damn self.

------------------
I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble
~ C. Montgomery Burns

Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :

Janeway: Now tell me something...are you feeling lucky right now miss?

Alien Female: No, but point that phaser in another part of my body and I'll be.

Janeway: *sarcasm* I'm sorry, but that manuver is reserved for Ensign Kim. I think it's time for him to work for his promotion...

------------------
"Oh for fuck's sake, stop your moaning,
If you fancy a threesome at this time of night, you can't get start getting choosey about which particular three!
-Queer As Folk, UK

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Oh my God. . . it just occurred to me these two really look like Sam Neill and Laura Dern, who were in a certain dinosaur-related movie. . . go for it!

------------------
Ross: This is not good for my rage. *takes another pill*

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Alan: I know what you're thinking, but we didn't have much choice. We need the money. Does anyone remember you playing any other part than Jurassic Park?

Ellie: Your point? We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your Event Horizon stint. Ugh.

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Excellent. 8)

And, that security guard's got a "hairstyle" like the robot in "Bicentennial Man" - which I'm sorry to say I really liked - which also featured Neill.

------------------
Ross: This is not good for my rage. *takes another pill*

Posted by Antagonist (Member # 484) on :

Uhhh, Lee...

You must be as blind as my guide dog, because those two don't look anything like Neill and Dern.

And whats with all this Event Horizon bashing? I thought it was a great movie...except for all the blood and gore. It had one redeeming quality if nothing else: It showed, probably accurately, what would happen if you were exposed to vacuum. I mean, did you see that kid and the blood being sucked from his eyes? *shivers*

------------------
Friendship is truly tested when it is time to share the burden.
- The Tao of Shinsei

[This message has been edited by The Antagonist (edited March 14, 2001).]

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Actually, they do. Well, on my computer at home, anyway.

Read my User Comment on Event Horizon at the IMDB. . .

------------------
Ross: This is not good for my rage. *takes another pill*

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Actually, the current consensus is that not much of anything would happen to a person exposed to hard vacuum. (Aside from death.) The human body is pretty hardy.

------------------
Not even a god can deny that I have squared the circle of a static Earth and cubed the Earth sphere by rotating it once to a dynamic Time or Life Cube.
--
Gene Ray
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet" Or don't. You know, whatever.

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Female alien: "Wait a minute...UPN!? My agent told me this was a big three gig!"

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

Female alien: Maybe if I pull a face like this, she'll think I'm her long lost identical twin and spare my life.

------------------
The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #5

I thought I could smell some fucking petrol! - Nikki Lauda

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Janeway forces yet more hapless aliens to watch the student film she made while at university

Man: Urgh
Woman: Bleh

------------------
You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Is it about a woman eating herself? (wait, that didn't cum out right... Or did it?)

Posted by Antagonist (Member # 484) on :

I don't want to get too ar off topic...
Sol: You mean to say there would be no expansion of the positive pressure in the body? Somehow that seems impossible to me, but then I haven't kept up on that, since....well.... I don't plan on going into space anytime soon, much less without a space suit.

------------------
<i>Friendship is truly tested when it is time to share the burden.
- The Tao of Shinsei</i>

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

quote:
You must be as blind as my guide dog.

*blinks*

------------------
At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :

Janeway: Alright, who's going to try Neelix's new Tuesday Meat Surprise? How about you? *points rifle at woman*

Alien Woman: Tuesday Meat Surprise? I'd rather eat Klingon food or even my husband than that!!!

Janeway: Hey, hey, hey!!! We're not into that kinky stuff here...

Alien Male: Yeah right! What the hell was up with Kim and that blonde Borg babe in the holodeck then?

Janeway: He was teaching her invasive procedures and how to handle a big load.

------------------
"Oh for fuck's sake, stop your moaning,
If you fancy a threesome at this time of night, you can't get start getting choosey about which particular three!
-Queer As Folk, UK

[This message has been edited by Michael_T (edited March 16, 2001).]

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

LOL!!!!

Good one Michael...

*still laughs*

------------------
In this crazy world of lemons, baby...you're lemonade!

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Well, some very encouraging responses here. The winner's Hobbes, obviously a bit of wish-fulfilment going on there. Runners-up are Antag and Jeff Raven. Honourable mention goes to Jay, I liked his Pulp Voyager take but thought it needed a bit more work.

Congrats to all, a new compo will be up shortly - assuming I find a pic that matches my mood. 8)

------------------
"I never saw the TAS, there actually was sex on the bridge?"

- Matrix, 14/03/2001

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

I so rarely get mentioned honorably. Thanks.

------------------
The negotiations have failed. Shoot him!
~ C. Montgomery Burns