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Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
 
Well, I hope so anyway. 8)

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"It strikes me that there are enough episodes of the Simpsons that people could speak entirely in Simpsonese, using references from the show to explain or describe an endless series of situations. Nelson and Apu . . . at Tinagra.

But now I�ve brought Star Trek into it again, haven�t I. Sorry."

- James Lileks, 09/04/2001
 

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
 
Kirk: *gasp* The revertion device exploded! Now we'll stay this way forever!
Bones: I-I'm a doctor, not a nurse!

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

 

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :
 
Normally, Fans are starstruck when they see their favorite Star Trek actors at a convention, but it's a whole different ball game when Simon Sizer hits the Cons.

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Number One: The Man Train...it's...real!

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William Shatner shows off how, dispite his inherent lack of acting skills, he managed to prod the producers into casting him as Kirk.

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"Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited April 19, 2001).]
 

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Chapel: I've never seen one...so... old...

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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond

 

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Uh... Guys... The picture's from "The Cage". That's Number One, not Nurse Chapel.

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"Although, from what I understand, having travelled around the Mid-west quite a bit, apparently Jesus is coming, so I guess the choice now is we should decide whether we should spit or swallow."
-Maynard James Keenan
 

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :
 
Perhaps.

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"Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.



 

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
 
It would be too easy to make a clever, witty remark about these two young women having their first glimpse of Sol "Enormous Shaft" System.

So no, I won't do that. Nope, not me.
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The negotiations have failed. Shoot him!
~ C. Montgomery Burns

[This message has been edited by Jay (edited April 20, 2001).]
 

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
 
Number One: $4.50 for a gallon of milk! Outrageous!

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The negotiations have failed. Shoot him!
~ C. Montgomery Burns

 

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Number One: "My God...the screams!"

Yeoman: "If you're going to do something, Ambassador...do it now..."

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"Excuse me, Mr. Rampaging Killer? Why don't you put down the gun and take a look at this hand-held monkey? Does it not have clever little forepaws? It eats gum and sap!"
--
L. Fitzgerald Sj�berg
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet" and something pleasent will happen to you. Possibly involving syrup.



 

Posted by Michael Dracon (Member # 4) on :
 
Yeoman: "Look at that screen! Is that what the future will be like?"

Number one: "That woman is a bitch! I would throw myself overboard if I would ever meet her. What is her name? Lwaxana Troi? Eewww! What a terrible name..."

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"We have a good arrangement. He supplies the weapons, I use them."
- Blade

 

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Actress 1: You want me to wear THAT kind of skirt?

Actress 2: I'm sorry, but I'll quit this series if I have to wear something so short.

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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond

 

Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :
 
Actress1: It's so huge!!
Actress2: It's enourmous!!
Bubba: One at a time ladies, one at a time.

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

-Nimrod 16/4/2001



 

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
 
Circus time:

Number One: Hurry, hurry. Step right this way folks. Right through these rock shaped canvas doors lies a gigantic, colossal exhibition of physical oddity seen no where else in the quadrant! Truly needs to be seen to be believed.

Direct from the back roads of Rigel IV, comes such a singular specimen so unique that Vulcan logic can not comprehend it's magnitude. So awed were representative leaders from the Romulan government that they have outlawed any visit from the creature to the Romulan homeworld!!

And for a meager monetary remuneration you can see...

*feels a touch on the shoulder*

Step back sister, you're crowding me.

*looks back in recognition, sighs*

The Bug Eyed Girl our featured attraction. No, wait!! Come back, there's more! I have a three-headed dog and...

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The negotiations have failed. Shoot him!
~ C. Montgomery Burns

[This message has been edited by Jay (edited April 23, 2001).]
 

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
These two ladies discover NBC's initial plans to make Star Trek into a hard-core porn series.

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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond

 

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
 
Kirk *offscreen, waving pendulum*: You are getting sleeeeepppyyyyyy.......

XO: Don't look at the pendulum, yeoman.... DON'T LOOK AT IT!!!!!

Yeoman: Yes Master......

Kirk: Now, you will do as I say.... Report to my quarters on the double.

Yeoman: Yes, Master.....

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"In a completely unrelated news story, I have a date tomorrow night."
- Omega, in trying to explain why pigs are now flying, why Microsoft products are now working perfectly, hell freezing over, and George W Bush giving a flawless speech. 04/06/01, 12:17AM
 

Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :
 
Number One: Oh my God!!! That's what happens when a woman commands a starship!!! Oh the humanity...

Q in the background: So you see, all is lost for humans. Look at your future, look at Janeway.

Yeoman: But sir, doesn't she get killed by those things, the Borg?

Q: She escapes that fate. So who wants to save humanity and mate with me then?

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"When I said to get involved in the gay community, I didn't mean to sleep with everyone in it."
Michael_T
 

Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
 
Laurel Goodwin: "THAT'S how you got the job?!?"

Majel: "Oh, dear LORD!! He said he'd tape OVER those! Gene's gonna KILL me now!"

Laurel: (watching) "...Isn't that illegal in this state?"

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"I'm beginning to think that there'll be NO forced mating at ALL!" --Professor Hubert T. Farnsworth
 

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :
 
Number One: My god, look at that picture of us in the Capcoms. I'm going to curse that Lee Kelly to hell for this!

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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #9

Who let that fucking woman drive? - Captain of Space Shuttle


[This message has been edited by Orion Syndicate (edited April 24, 2001).]
 

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :
 
Bonnie: "Sshh, Barbara! The fella with the long hair'll hear us!!"

Barbara: "But what the hell is that in the back of the car? It looks like red paint..."

Bonnie (listening intently): "He said that I buy shit coffee!! Bastard!"

Barbara: *SHUT UP* will you!!

Bonnie: "What the hell is 'Dead Nigger Storage' anyway?"

both turn around

Together: Oh...my...GOD!!

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"


 

Posted by The Talented Mr. Gurgeh (Member # 318) on :
 
Great! Now I'm going to be thinking about Pulp Fiction for the rest of the day.

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"If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing."



 

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
 
Number One: *gasp* "This CapCom has been up for a week, and only 19 entries! They're going downhill again!"

Yeoman Colt(?): "It's because I have this horrid short hair, and this masculine uniform, isn't it? Oh, Mummy said this would happen if I joined Starfleet. . ."

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"It strikes me that there are enough episodes of the Simpsons that people could speak entirely in Simpsonese, using references from the show to explain or describe an endless series of situations. Nelson and Apu . . . at Tinagra.

But now I�ve brought Star Trek into it again, haven�t I. Sorry."

- James Lileks, 09/04/2001
 

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
 
Aww, you don't feel sufficiently loved anymore?
Stroke a turnip, it lowers the blood pressure.
 
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Xena: "Look away, Gabrielle! Look away!"

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OH NO< THE OLD MAN WALKS HIS GREEN DOG THAT SHOTS PINBALLS!~!!!
--
Jeff K
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet" and nothing at all will happen.


 

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :
 
Jim Kirk in background with a watch: You're feeling sleepy, very sleepy. Now on the count of three you will jump on me and give me the best nights shag of my life.

Yeoman: I must shag Jim Kirk

Number One: I must blow Jim Kirk

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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #9

Who let that fucking woman drive? - Captain of Space Shuttle



 

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
 
...and then Sulu and Chekov takes off the wigs and hold Kirk down. Ew...

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

 

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Number One: "Maplethorpe has gone too far this time!"

Yeoman Colt: "It's a bullwhip! Right up his dirty bottom!"

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OH NO< THE OLD MAN WALKS HIS GREEN DOG THAT SHOTS PINBALLS!~!!!
--
Jeff K
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet" and nothing at all will happen.


 

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
 
Simon the Obscure

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I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!
~ C. Montgomery Burns

 

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Yeoman: With a melon?

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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond

 

Posted by Hobbes (Member # 138) on :
 
Then perhaps you should give CapComs another break Lee.

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"Let me ask you something, Mr. Garibaldi, a purely philosophical question. On a scale of 1 to 10, how stupid do you think I am anyway?" - Bester
Federation Starship Datalink: Brand new look, fresh minty scent, same great taste!
 

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
 
Well, the trash-heap has spoken, nyahh. Dunno. Does everyone agree with Hobbes, or does the sudden rash of late entries mean we should instead all gang together and Roshambo him to death instead?

Anyway. The winner is Gaseous Anomaly, naturally. Runners-up are Shik and Michael_T. Honourable mention goes to Sol for responding to a future CapCom, since none of his entries make any sense to this one (or any previous ones). . . 8)

There maye be another competition in a day or two, I need time to find a good image anyway.

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"It strikes me that there are enough episodes of the Simpsons that people could speak entirely in Simpsonese, using references from the show to explain or describe an endless series of situations. Nelson and Apu . . . at Tinagra.

But now I�ve brought Star Trek into it again, haven�t I. Sorry."

- James Lileks, 09/04/2001
 

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
It's final exams week for most of us... Either that or there's a sudden rash of twidderpation going on. Keep going.

If you post it, they will reply.

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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond

 

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
I just couldn't think of anything for this one.

And I found Simon's "Xena" reference quite appropriate and humorous. :-)

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"Although, from what I understand, having travelled around the Mid-west quite a bit, apparently Jesus is coming, so I guess the choice now is we should decide whether we should spit or swallow."
-Maynard James Keenan
 

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
 
I think the bullwhip would have made my eyes bug out too. Way to be Simon!

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I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!
~ C. Montgomery Burns

 

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :
 
Deadly.

Jeff's right - mine and Gurgeh's started yesterday with a rank EM exam. I then got drunk.

Now I'm sore and hungry and have a sore head and am poorer.

BUT I GOT THE INSPIRATION AND WON THE CAPCOM!!

All better...

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"


 



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