You all remember the rules right? I post 10 questions, you post 10 answers. And they had better be good ones. Winning is a "per question" thing, and the response that makes me shoot coke through my nose usually wins.
BE CREATIVE. (and sex appeal doesn't hurt.)
Alrighty. Here goes.
1. If you had a box of Strike Anywhere matches, what would you Strike them against? 2. Why the hell does the post office never READ the "This End Up" sign on boxes? 3. My old female friend invited me over for dinner. What do you think the 3rd course should be? 4. Am I starting to look old? 5. Why is it best to use frozen fish sticks in museum quality art? 6. Why does Squaresoft think we don't notice that their main female character has looked the same since Final Fantasy 7? 7. I need a "Bond Girl" name. Why don't you come up with one for me? 8. At which point is it okay to use sharp pointy sticks against defenseless but scary well-built women? 9. WASSUUUPPPP? 10. If you were to make number 9 less lame, what would you ask?
Yes I know they suck... I'm out of practice. Please forgive me.
Judging will take place next Sunday. Omega has promised to poke me with a pointy stick over ICQ and remind me.
Good Luck!
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
1) Whatever an 'Anywhere' is 2) They are too busy gunning each other down to read! 3) Pussy (oh I'm going to get it for that one...) 4) Well I certainly hope you aren't beginning to look young. Unless you got that time machine working... 5) Because Fish Sticks are so GODLIKE! 6) Squarewho? 7) You already got one: Jubilicious 8) When you realize they aren't women... 9) Uh, nothing, whats up with you? 10) "Do you think WASSUUUPPP is lame?"
[ February 24, 2002, 15:07: Message edited by: The359 ]
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
1) My girlfriend's snatch stubble. 2) Because all postal employees are actually Kortooqian invasion intelligence agents & unbeknownst to humanity, the phrase "this end up" is the most hideous insult in Most High Kortooqi, implying a most scandalous relationship between the insultee & his 3rd molt shell. 3) Bearded Webmaster Goblin Knob 4) "Starting?" Ha. I kid. You're the paragon of yout'. You're so young, Charles is forced to keep an attorney on emergency speed-dial due to the constant arrests for statutory rape. Or do those really have anything to do with you? 5) Because the Age of Borscht & Goulash is so pass� & mozzarella sticks don't have the same lovely piquant pungency that add to the effetc of the piece. 6) These are video game designers. They can't keep their hands off their cocks long enough to edit the image parameters. 7) Honey Smacks 8) When they're good & wet, baby. Here, let me show you. 9) Where's the beef? 10) Coffee, tee, or me?
quote:Judging will take place next Sunday. Omega has promised to poke me with a pointy stick over ICQ and remind me.
Charles is a trusting man to loan you out so.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
1. Unfair pay and poor working conditions. 2. It's their only outlet for tension, the alternative is going Postal. 3. "Coffee? Tea? Me?" 4. Actually, everyone else is getting younger. 5. Well, if the exhibition is sponsored by Bird's Eye. . . 6. It never occurred to them anyone would look at her face. 7. Jubilee Line. 8. "That she blows! The white whale!" 9. True. 10. What time is love?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
*without reading any other responses*
"1. If you had a box of Strike Anywhere matches, what would you Strike them against?"
Water. It'll be the biggest false-advertising lawsuit since The Neverending Story.
"2. Why the hell does the post office never READ the 'This End Up' sign on boxes?"
They can't figure out why it says "dn pu3 s!4⊥".
"3. My old female friend invited me over for dinner. What do you think the 3rd course should be?"
Nothing too strenuous, or you'll get worn out too early...
"4. Am I starting to look old?"
Starting?
"5. Why is it best to use frozen fish sticks in museum quality art?"
Some people just don't get art. If you don't already know, I'm really not sure I can explain it to you.
"6. Why does Squaresoft think we don't notice that their main female character has looked the same since Final Fantasy 7?"
Well, at least someone's not starting to look old.
"7. I need a 'Bond Girl' name. Why don't you come up with one for me?
Iliketo Getfuckedawholelot
"8. At which point is it okay to use sharp pointy sticks against defenseless but scary well-built women?"
In the throat, just above where the collarbones come together.
"9. WASSUUUPPPP?"
*looks down* Not me, I'm afraid.
"10. If you were to make number 9 less lame, what would you ask?"
Who are you, and just what the hell do you think you're going to do w/ that speculum?
[ February 24, 2002, 16:54: Message edited by: TSN ]
Posted by Tahna Los (Member # 33) on :
1) Anywhere that causes friction and is not lubricated. 2) They're getting the wrong impression on what should be pointing "upwards". 3) Cooking 101. 4) As long as you get to do things that you love doing, you'll NEVER feel old. 5) Because of what the fish sticks were "used" for. 6) [edited answer] First things first: Tifa Lockheart was never the main character in Final Fantasy VII, as she was a supporting character to Cloud Strife's fight with Sephiroth Jenova. Rinoa Heartilly WAS a main character in Final Fantasy VIII, opposite Squall Leonhart. And yes, Garnet in Final Fantasy IX is more or less a main character, and she DOES look like Rinoa Heartilly, but that is as far as it goes. Finally, Aki Ross and Yuna, the two main characters in the Final Fantasy Movie and Final Fantasy X do not look anything like Rinoa, Garnet, OR Tifa. Get your facts straight, or you had BETTER sleep with one eye open... 7) I think "Pussy Galore" suits you alot. (boy am I going to get smacked for that) 8) To poke them to see if it is real, and if so, can it hurt you? 9) *I think I have gone deaf* 10) Can you recommend a good ear specialist?
[ February 27, 2002, 12:44: Message edited by: Tahna Los ]
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
1. My teeth. I used to do that alla time inna Boy Scouts.
2. They deliver the mail, they don't read it. 3. Stuffed Clam. 4. Well, you aren't gonna get Charles arrested. 5. Because turkey spoils faster. 6. Whowha? 7. Cappsgonna Kumalot 8. When the sharp pointy claws come out 9. Frequency, volume, and juliegasms. 10. What are you doing with that apricot?
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Weird. Shikkychops and I posted the same answer, to a different question, at the same time! 8)
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
1. An empty matchbook. 2. They left out the proper umlauts in the phrase. 3. Some sort of genitalia-shaped pasta 4. I've always found Trebuchet to be a new-looking font. 5. Thawed fishstick's odor covers up the smell of the Virgin Mary's cow-feces. 6. Squaresoft has been collectively tripping on acid since FF6 7. Clitora Sonphire 8. Any time the idea pops in your head 9. As always, I am 10. Yo yo what it be my main homey what be up wit all this, peepin me givin props to my ho cuz she fly, word up.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Lee: I saw that, too. What exactly is it supposed to mean, though?
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
*Vorlon speak* Never ask that question! 8)
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Omega has promised to poke me with a pointy stick over ICQ and remind me.
Pointy stick, cattle prod... these days, who can keep track?
[ February 26, 2002, 19:17: Message edited by: Omega ]
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
::pictures Omega mistaking his cattle prod for his dildo::
Ouch.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Um... what, praytell, would I do with a dildo?
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
OOH, he's gonna make you regret asking that one... I'm sure he's all too willing to tell you just what you can do with it, at great length and in great detail.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
No, this isn't the flameboard. I'm sure you can imagine. Er ... you DO know what a dildo is, don't you?
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
*responds quickly before this degenerates into Republican S&M insertion-fantasy hour*
for the kids on page 2:
quote:Originally posted by Jubilicious:
1. If you had a box of Strike Anywhere matches, what would you Strike them against? 2. Why the hell does the post office never READ the "This End Up" sign on boxes? 3. My old female friend invited me over for dinner. What do you think the 3rd course should be? 4. Am I starting to look old? 5. Why is it best to use frozen fish sticks in museum quality art? 6. Why does Squaresoft think we don't notice that their main female character has looked the same since Final Fantasy 7? 7. I need a "Bond Girl" name. Why don't you come up with one for me? 8. At which point is it okay to use sharp pointy sticks against defenseless but scary well-built women? 9. WASSUUUPPPP? 10. If you were to make number 9 less lame, what would you ask?
1. My rock hard abs. Oops, I guess that's usually capitalized, huh? ABS, Sorry. 2. You need to start writing that on the outside of the box, Jubes. 3. Lesse, Open-faced Clam Sandwich, Fish Tacos, Cocktail weinies--you know: finger foods. 4. Don't you think Sigourney Weaver looks better now than she did in Alien? 5. Because thawed fish-sticks make the guache all clumpy. 6. Why must women disrupt men's vigorous and determined masturbation with irrelevent questions? /or they're all clones. 7. Alika Cuhnteter-Dickinmass-Cumminmyface (a long way to go for the acronym, I know.) 8. Riiiight... NOW! GO! Nope. It's too late now. Time's Up. 9. What are you wearing? 10. Describe in single words, only the good things that come in to your mind about: your mother.
[ February 27, 2002, 00:34: Message edited by: Balaam Xumucane ]
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
quote:Originally posted by Balaam Xumucane: 10. Describe in single words, only the good things that come in to your mind about: your mother.
My mother? Let me tell you about my mother...*BANG*...*BANG*...
Sorry, I just had to follow that answer up.
[ February 27, 2002, 07:11: Message edited by: The359 ]
Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
1. The heart of this girl I like. I really want to light her fire. 2. They're used to the missionary position. 3. 3rd course, or do you mean 3rd hole? tee up! 4. Compared to Charles, you are a young, nubile vixen. 5. Most museums are feaking cold! Ever been in one? Artic weather 24/7 6. The last time Squaresoft did an original game it was Super Mario RPG. And even then it wasn't very original. 7. How about Chesty Charms? 8. I fear any girl that can beat me up. Sharp pointy objects can be necessary. 9. SOOOOO WAAAAAAASTEEEDDD 10. I'd ask for whatever you've been smokin' Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"The heart of this girl I like. I really want to light her fire."
*Comic-Store-Guy-speak* Worst. Joke. Ever.
Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
It was a joke?
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
And a bad one, at that.
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
This gonna get judged anytime soon?
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Depends ... what are your motives for asking?
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
We want to see who won. Duh... Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
I always thought coke was snorted through the nose, not shot. Maybe someone needed it a little faster than they can inhale...
1. If you had a box of Strike Anywhere matches, what would you Strike them against?
The Strike Zone. Yes, the Strike Zone is seemingly fictitious, but MLB thinks it exists.
2. Why the hell does the post office never READ the "This End Up" sign on boxes?
The same reason that I keep shaking the Fragile boxes looking for Gobo, Wembly, Mokey, Boober and Red. Not to mention Uncle Traveling Matt.
3. My old female friend invited me over for dinner. What do you think the 3rd course should be?
Let's see. If the first course is wine, and the second course is unmentionable, the third course should be wine eaten off the unmentionables.
4. Am I starting to look old?
Charles is getting old? Maybe you shouldn't look.
5. Why is it best to use frozen fish sticks in museum quality art?
Because thawed fish sticks may cause museum quality art to smell like the outcome of question 3.
6. Why does Squaresoft think we don't notice that their main female character has looked the same since Final Fantasy 7?
They notice. It's just that Rinoa/Dagger(Garnet)/Tifa/Whatever the girl's name in X look so much like Jubilee that all us geeks get hot. Not to mention the ease of the Hentai/Ecchi artists to draw the same girl each time.
7. I need a "Bond Girl" name. Why don't you come up with one for me?
I think Jubilicious is quite a fine "Bond Girl" name. Maybe Jub Jub Licious.
8. At which point is it okay to use sharp pointy sticks against defenseless but scary well-built women?
You mean it wasn't okay to begin with? Damn, I'm in trouble.
9. WASSUUUPPPP?
Da LIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
10. If you were to make number 9 less lame, what would you ask?
Pardon me, have you any Grey Poupon?
So, Is Benjita's Comeback Triumphant???? Only time will tell. I missed you all!
Posted by Jubilicious (Member # 99) on :
Alrighty, this time I added in a special *groan* award. The *groan* award is ... well...this groan is typical of the sound you make when a particularly bad joke has just been said. Take it as a complement, or take it as an insult.... either way it was the response that made me roll my eyes into the back of my head.
I had hoped for more responses than this. And why the hell didn't Omega answer any? Or was he too busy trying to figure out what a Dildo was?
Oh.. and on top of the good showing that he already made, Balaam gets a special award for making me snort beer out my nose while reading his entry.. This is specifically for what he printed in asteriks before answering the questions.
1. Saiyanman, Tim. Jeff: *groan*
2. Shik, Balaam. Vogon : *groan*
3. Balaam, Saiyanman. Fo2: *groan*
4. Tim, Shik. Tahna: *groan*
5. Saiyanman, Shik. CaptainMike: *groan*
6. Tim, CaptainMike, Balaam Tahna gets an award for giving me real information, and Saiyanman gets an award for stroking my ego. .
7. Balaam, Jeff Raven, Tahna *smack*. Fo2: *groan*
8. Balaam and Saiyanman tied for first, the359. Tim: *groan*
9. Saiyanman, Balaam. CaptainMike: *groan*
10. Tim, Fo2, Balaam. Saiyanman: *groan*
Vogon gets a special award for asking a question that I asked in a previous ten questions.
[ March 08, 2002, 23:11: Message edited by: Jubilicious ]
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
Any day you can make Jubes groan twice is a good day.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Ah, but 9 times? You beast, you...
Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
Well I'd definitely call that a triumphant comeback.
And a *groan* award no less! (Grey Poupon is close to getting out*groaned* by the Wassup?, so I had to say it.)
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