Not a Matrix CapCom - though I was tempted to start off with one - but a new wrinkle on the old game. The rolling CapCom, or, if you will, the CapCom Revolutions. 8)
The rules are simple:-
1. I post an image, and specify a time period within which anyone can reply: say, about two days. 2. Everyone enters caption suggestions, as many as you like. 3. Once the time period has elapsed, I name one winner. 4. That winner then has to find, upload, and post an image of their own, again specifying when the deadline will be. 5. They then pick a winner, and that person carries on.
. . . and so on!Some things to remember:
Be sure to pick a timezone everyone can identify (GMT, EST, PST) so no-one misses out
You can link direct to an image on the web if you want, but we don't want to steal others' bandwidth if we can at all avoid it!
Subject-wise, anything goes. It needn't be Trek-related, or anything SF; why limit ourselves?
Take it away! You have until 10 am Saturday (PST).
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
The North London Madrigal Society takes their first stab at Klingon Opera while Ensign Billy decides he'd rather have Scooby Doo on the view screen.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Little boy thinking to himself, "At least I'm not an altarboy."
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Left to right:
"Son of a... Bill's touching my breasts again." "Hot damn... I'm touching Susan's breasts again!" "Captain's log: Polyester is rough. Remember to wear undies to the next convention." "Why in the hell didn't I ask the judge if I could live with mom..." "Jose's wearing that God-awful Klingon pheromone cologne again... Man! Everytime we go on one of these trips..." "All these pins on my sleeve and I STILL don't get to grope Susan! What the Hell!?!"
Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :
Captain: Behold the beautiful planet of Backyard III!
Old man (offscreen): I'm telling you Trekkies for the last time... Get off my lawn!
First officer: The native population seems quite hostile, Captain.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
The continuing mission of Rikerhood and his merry men and not-so merry kids....
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
Woman: We been broken down the lowest turn and been on the bottom line sure ain't no fun but if we should be evicted from our homes we'll just move somewhere else and still carry on Hold on, Hold on, Hold on
Chorus of men: The only way is up, baby For you and me, baby The only way is up For you and me
Boy *Thinking* Damn, I hate having gay Trekkies as relatives...
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"He's a lumberjack and he's okay..."
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
You know, on second thoughts maybe we should just restrict each round to 24 hours (or thereabouts). . . Anyone disagree (PM if you want to avoid cluttering up the thread)?
Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
quote:Originally posted by TSN: "He's a lumberjack and he's okay..."
Damn you! I wanted to use that one.
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
Men:"A Briiitish tar is a soooaring soul, As freeee as a mountaaaain biiiird!" Woman:"Sing, boy, sing!" Boy:"I protest! I am NOT a british tar!"
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
OK, the winner is Aban Rune. He'll now post the next picture and judge it after a suitable time has past (I'd recommend about a day, but if you're not going to be OL over the weekend, Alan, give yourself more time). My work here is done!
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Kevin Smith!
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
So there, Simon. So there.
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Must...find...photo...
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Or, um, you are an artist, correct???
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
ROTFL...
Don't tempt him He may just became crazy enough to draw next photo Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Perhaps some comprimisingly candid shot of Shannon McCrandle doing something awkward and yet strangely beautiful...
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
LOL... uhh... no, I don't mess with Shannon.
But here you go... for some reason this struck me as funny. Deadline for entries... Thursday before I leave work which is at 4:30 Central Daylight Time.
Annnnnnd... go. Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
This fetching wench should bring a tidy price on the open market. She so blonde...so sultry.
And hey! Maybe General Thade would like this director's chair as a gift!
This dungeon / yard sale is way cool.
Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
APE: "I shall not tell you again...MY CHAIR! MY CHAIR!" Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Just a little bit of stretching and your neck will fit that costume in the chair, trust me....
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Alrighty... not that there were many to choose from... *ahem!*, but the winner is Jay for using the phrase "fetching wench". Bravo, lad!
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
I am shocked and honored by this. *sniff* I truly am. *sniff*
On a related note, my wife and I are going up to Santa Barbara for the weekend to celebrate our one year anniversary and I will not be back till the 13th.
I don�t think that I can find a picture in the two hours before we live.
I hereby designate Ritten my photo proxy with all the rights and privileges thereto.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Santa Barbara was great.
Ritten, you have failed in your proxy service. When I can, GRE and all, I'll see if I can find a cool photo.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
**Sniff, sniff**, I am honored....
I was out of town, but I will see what I can find....
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
I think I've got one.
It seems that people just love to dress up. How can we not make some fun of them?
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
This is Jim the IT manager. He was the logical choice for the job.
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
For the last time, I know obesity is not logical. I am simply possessed of an exceptionally large endoskeletal structure.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
guy: Please kill me. Posted by Brian Whisenhunt (Member # 1095) on :
(To the tune by Moby Ft. and Gwen Stefani)
"Here we arrreeee... Going to the Farside..... Phasers in hand....and in warp drive.....
Posted by Brian Whisenhunt (Member # 1095) on :
Famous Vulcan proverb....
"Only Nixon could go to China"
Half Vulcan, Half Republican....and we thought we didn't have Tricky Dick to kick around anymore.
Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
The Picture: Me in a few days.
Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :
*Comic Book Guy voice*
Worst. Vulcan. Ever.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Inside his head, this guy is screaming "Q! You bastard!"
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Too many McSurak burgers, I see the logic in sueing for me getting to be a fat assed bastard....
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
"Bob's last day with the company would be recounted at Christmas parties for years to come. After crashing the company's email server with pictures of him with the boss' mother... Bob put on his ears and his uniform and ran through the halls pantless screaming 'MY PHASER IS SET ON KILL, P'TAQ!!!' NordCo was never the same after that day..."
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
quote:Originally posted by Balaam Xumucane: guy: Please kill me.
Winner.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Ooooo, interest.
Winner soon.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Krenim eeks out a victory just because I like the Comic Book Guy.
So, let's hear a small, but sustained cheer for Krenim!
And since this round is over, here are mine.
Guy: Yeah, the hollow deck exercise program is offline.
Co-worker: For what, like two years?
Or....
Co-worker: The replicator sure does a good Ding-Dong doesn't it Bob.
Guy: Oh, live long and shut up.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Just a suggestion, but perhaps future incarnations of this contest should have their own threads, before this one just expands and expands into oblivion.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Well, part of the point was that it was going to be a rolling thing. Word Association and Wolf 359 threads expand into oblivion, why not others? At the moment there are hardly any replies at all, why bother having a new thread for each last gasp of what is essentially a failed experiment?
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Because more threads makes the forum look more important, even if it's not. Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
The Forum is life... Bow before the Forum...
Posted by Brian Whisenhunt (Member # 1095) on :
The Forum is always more important then the Againstum
Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :
Well, I haven't as of yet found a good picture, and I don't think I'm going to find one. So, I'm designating Lee the next picture-finder-judge-person. Yeah.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Oh, wonderful. I'll remind you all of this next time I get another "When are you going to post another CapCom?" or "When are you going to judge the CapCom?" Nope, I don't have anything right now, anyone else want to have a go?
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
I might as well have a go at it.
This is a scene rendered a couple of years ago for the fanfic series I work on, "Renaissance." The characters are all part of the main cast. (If that clarifies things.) And if you really want more information, check the link in my sig.
Click on the image to get a larger version:
The contest will close at 5 PM Eastern time on Tuesday. (About 48 hours from now.)
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
"Look! Bob's fighting Megabit in the Game!"
Or
"Star Trek: Rennaissance, script & art by Chuck Austen!"
Or
"Hey it's Astar! From the planet Danger! He can put his arm back on, but you can't! So play safe!"
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Lieutenant:We've made up a chart, sir. As you can see, potential romantic incidence drops off sharply with the increase of playing with dolls in made-up Star Trek stories rendered on your computer.
Captain:hmmmm Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Why does the guy third from the left look like Dubya?
Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :
For shame, UM. It's Megabyte.
Cross: How did this happen?
Grey: I don't know, sir. I leave for five minutes, come back, and the words "Die, Cross, Die" are written in blood on the bulkhead.
Cross: I want to know who did this!
Half the Quadrant: *Whistles innocently*
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
To infinity, and beyond....
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
quote:Originally posted by TSN: Why does the guy third from the left look like Dubya?
Um... uhhh....
Okay, I did NOT need to think of that comparison right now! Dammit, I'm trying to finish my story!
Anyway, the guy you're talking about is NeilCross, Captain of the Enterprise-G in our story. And fortunately, from other angles he looks nothing like Dubya!
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
FYI, MM, a bunch of those links are access forbidden.
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
"Umm... Sir? I know you're very proud of your painting... but that hole in the hull is getting bigger..."
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
quote:Originally posted by Balaam Xumucane: FYI, MM, a bunch of those links are access forbidden.
Frell! I forgot that clicking on the links like that still registers the message board as the referrer...
I'll see if I can fiddle with the .htaccess script; in the mean time. I found that clicking the cursor in the URL field and then pressing enter (or return) will bring the image up properly.
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
"Ok, the next item on the scavenger hunt is......Ah CRAP.....ODO!"
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Whoops, I never posted a verdict!
The winner is Balaam, for equating 3D character models with dolls. TSN is a close runner up, even though I'm pretty sure he wasn't intending his message to be a quote. Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
I'd like to thank the Academy. You like me, you really really... Nah. Enough of that, let's keep the ball rolling:
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Having seen Bill knocked to the ground by Angus' uncommon schlong, it was only after he put it away that the bravest among them would venture into the street to attempt medical attention...
Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
"Step away, son, I'm gonna piss on his face"
I'm sorry
Posted by Mucus (Member # 24) on :
He's dead Jim.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
"Now, I'm gonna show all you Eastern softpaws a little thing that roun' here we-all call the Man Train!"
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
In this rare 1884 photograph, the gathering townsfolk of Rattlesnake Gulch, Arizona, stand quietly to the side as German artist, Hans Bl�cher, calmly sets up the first performance art exhibition in the United States.
Bl�cher, seen here leaning over one of his artists, spent years perfecting his craft on the streets of Berlin along with a close associate known only as Helmut. Helmut is pictured here on the right, removing his pants in preparation for the piece.
Moments after this photograph was taken, the crowd, clearly disturbed by what they had seen, attacked the three members of the troop, killed them, dismembered the bodies and dumped the remains down a local mineshaft.
Historians write that performance art in the United States suffered a major setback as a result, resurfacing years later in San Francisco.
The name Hans Bl�cher has been all but forgotten.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Here in the west we don't kick a man when he's down, but we do take care of business....
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
This "Old West" holo-novel does have the safety protocols engaged....doesn't it? Remember Paris' last attempt at writing?.....Chakotay? Why are you laying there bleeding?
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Judgement is coming this afternoon, so if you're sitting on a good one, it's time.
[ October 25, 2003, 05:38 AM: Message edited by: Balaam Xumucane ]
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
"I am going to stick my penis into that unconscious man."
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
You apparently forgot that your entry should be "a good one".
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
I'm grossly disappointed at the scarcity of "Gunsmoke" jokes. That's neither here nor there. So, the runners up: Lee's was succinct and very humorous and worked in a Flare-mainstay so it was ranked high(but he's been up twice already). Jay's was more imaginative and made me think about beating up kraut mimes (which is very funny to me for reasons I'd rather not go into), but unfortunately ran long (and he's been up already). So, the winnar is: Ritten. Shine on you crazy diamond.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Wow... Okay,give me a bit to dig up a pic...
A few hours anyway....
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Well, let's try this one out.....
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"We are going to stick our penises into that unconscious man."
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
First of Two and Omega out looking for chicks.
Just funnin' fellas. Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Omega the one on the right???
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Well, with the outstanding number of posts to this pic, Jay is the winner...
Not even any, come on, get a better pic posts....
Anyway, Jay, get a good obscure image....
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
I'll look around and see what I can see.
It's hard to tell which one of them is on the right since they both lean that way naturally.
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Yo Quiero Taco Bell.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
I don't think I have the time to find a good one...the ones I do have don't seem to want to upload.
Wizzy, you want to have a go?
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Deputy dog-dog a ding-dang deppa-deppa.
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Here goes........
[ October 27, 2003, 10:14 PM: Message edited by: WizArtist ]
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"We are going to stick our penises into that unconscious man."
This could go on for a while.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Heroes in a half shell. Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Is that ballast, or are you just happy to see me????
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
They were all champions... deserving gold medal winners to be sure. But as Samantha followed dutifully behind Mrs. Parker, watching as she examined each of the victors... she knew only one would be deemed worthly of the receiving the coveted Penis Wreath.
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
As count Winterbone approached victorious German swimming team, to his shock he suddenly realized that he can clearly see their... nipples Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
I see Saturn, I see Venus... Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
"I am examining these men's penises."
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
"For Now."
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"Now we shall see which one of us can truly rise up to the challenge."
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Straw Hat: And the weiner is...
No, but seriously (?), swollen god of brutal judgement please rescue us from what could easily become an eternity of lame dick-jokes.
Posted by Alshrim Dax (Member # 258) on :
Guy in hat: "We're having a pimpin' good time now, eh?"
Last guy: *whispering* You - me - Later... sizzler? *winks*
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
OK, I declare Cartman the winner. Time for a new one
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
Well that was arousing. Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Yeah, well, far be it from me to part with tradition and all, but I just could not ignore the desperate (?) cries for salvation. I present thee:
Go to it, people.
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Al Gore dashes about town in his new Green Peace approved automobile. And yes, he invented it.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
If I can get the horse to stop fast enough I can stick my penis in it....
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Datsun .510 Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Riceboy, circa 1898.
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Having failed to pull the DeLorean up to 88 miles per hour, Marty went off to find a saloon girl and Doc Brown did a drunken lap through the streets of Hill Valley.
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
"Something something, something one horsepower something, something."
Or
"Something something midwestern version something Manhatten Carriage Rides something something Central Park something something poor people."
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Damn Amish....
Posted by Guardian 2000 (Member # 743) on :
quote:Originally posted by Balaam Xumucane: Datsun .510
Hey, that's not funny. Accurate, but not funny.
(This message brought to you by G2k, Datsun 510 driver, Sept. 2001 - July 2003 )
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Timmy gets teh POWARUP, if only because his entries have so far gone unnoticed in this contest. B)
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Wait, I win? Damn. And that one wasn't even funny.
I guess I'll have to go consult Google Image Search or Cliff Yablonski or something now...
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
I'd forgotten that I had this image sitting around in my Flare Upload space. It's a capture from SA's "Derek Smart's Desktop Commander" video.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Person: 11:15, restate my assumptions: 1. Mathematics is the language of nature. 2. Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers. 3. If you graph these numbers, patterns emerge. Therefore: There are patterns everywhere in nature.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
"I am going to stick my penis into that computer."
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
TSN: "Wait, I win? Damn. And that one wasn't even funny."
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
"Hmmm, let me see what's on this server... 1: Chess. Naah, too complicated. 2: Tic-tac. Naah, too quick. 3: Global Thermonuclear War. Hm, sounds like fun!"
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
"Dude, I was writing all last night. Check this line out: 'That doll is part of the Doom House Mystique, and you've got it in spades!'"
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
"John continued to crunch away on his Win2K PC, blissfully unaware that he'd just been cornered by the deadly Trio of the Black Star Linux clan!" Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Once inside the matrix I can make my body look any way I want it to. Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Time to load the Google search page: 1.94 seconds. Time to type search query: 3.85 seconds. Finding 254 results for "the man train": Priceless.
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Lee is a winner.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Don't encourage him.
Ultra Magnus is the winner, for using an SA reference with an SA picture. Even though "Doom House" sucked.
Should Ultra Magnus be unable to discharge his duties as winner, the vice-winner is MinutiaeMan, for actually checking to see how many hits Google returns for "the man train".
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
No, but UM is right. Lee is the winner. I didn't get it at first. Lee wins.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
I got it at first. I got it all too well.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
*grin* But it's still up to UM to post a picture. . .
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
So, UM, do you want to go, or shall I? Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
The 7 days of silence isn't a hint?
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Good point.
I took two screenshots from my "Spaceballs" DVD. I was seriously tempted to use the one with Dark Helmet and Lone Star looking at their Big Schwartz sabers. But there's been enough phallic jokes around here for now...
Have at it!
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
"Attempts to somehow get the attention of the highly enthusiastic alien subject by displaying universal basic color codes proved unsuccessful"
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Sony executives failed to spot the central flaw in their original plan to release a special instructional videocasette, "How To Tune Your TV To Your Video Recorder," with all new Betamax players.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
"Watch while I demonstrate Dark Helmet and Lone Star looking at their Big Schwartz sabers."
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Jesse Jackson's Rainbow coalition attorney explains to the Kobe Bryant jury how his small pecker was incapable of performing the attack.
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
"And now, princess Righthand, I have you in my clutches, to have my wicked way with you, the way I want to.... And note the size of my Schwartz pinky!"
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
To play the eyeball guitar, simply run a thread between your right eyeball and your right pinky finger, then pluck with your other pinky. Add a whistle to really spruce up the beat.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Max Headroom v_0.2.7a Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Kazeite is the winner this round, for coming up with a "Spaceballs" theme for the screencap from my "Spaceballs" DVD.
Lee is the runner-up, because I didn't get his joke until the second time I read it. (I'm not sure if that says something about the joke, or about me. )
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
(sorry it's a link, but I can't use Flare upload yet, and I'm not allowed to hotlink.)
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
"Our lightsources come from different directions, but our faith is the same."
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Voila.
John Paul attends the 403rd annual "CathliCon" in Scarsdale. He is seen here congratulating the winner of the "Pose as a Pontif" costume contest. The winner was condemned as a blasphemer and damned for all eternity shortly after receiving his trophy.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Shaking hands before the Pope versus Pope rumble....
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Where Mirror Universes colide.
or
Bishop to Queen's Knight three.....Check
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Guy dressed as the Pope: (to Cardinal) "Kill him! He's the one!" Real Pope: (to Cardinal) "Not me, you idiot! Him!"
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Which one's the real pope? Just wait a few months and see which one finally drops dead.
Don't worry; I'll be sure to write you all from hell.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
(*jingle*)Double your pleasure. Double your fun.. Posted by MaGiC (Member # 59) on :
"Clone Wars The Next Generation"
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Cardinal: "Always two there are, a master and an apprentice."
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Deep within their asteroidal hold, the Roman Catholic Church prepares for war.
Because, see, it is the future, and they grow Soldiers of Christ as necessary, from vats.
And they are in a war with the other posthuman children of Earth.
Maybe not.
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
1th place: Ultra Magnus. Very, very, very, very close 2nd place: MinutiaeMan 3rd place: Cartman.
My special thanks for Aban for uploading picture for all to see.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Well, let's see if we're going to have "UM disappears and MM fills in, part 2"...
Posted by Alshrim Dax (Member # 258) on :
Old Man in October at the Vatican:
"TRICK OR TREAT YOUR EMMINENCE!"
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Well, seeing as how it's been three days now, I might as well go rather than hold up the competition yet again.
This is the other image that I was considering from the last time I was up... let's see what kind of alternate lines are offered, hmm?
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Peeing in the vacuum of a derelict space ship, Lonestar and Dark Helmet soon realize the hidden dangers of sub-zero temperatures.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
"In an attempt to demoralize, both combatants enhanced their physical prowess using thoron fields and duranium shadows..."
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
"You know, there's a cream you can get for that."
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Hey, I can't see the bottom, can you?
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
"We are going to stick our penises into that unconscious invisible man."
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
"Shouldnt MY penis be red and YOURS be green?"
Posted by B.J. (Member # 858) on :
"I wish I knew what they did with the urinals around here."
B.J.
Posted by Alshrim Dax (Member # 258) on :
Burns in Dark Helmet Costume: "Uh Smithers .. i'm not sure it should be getting this hot !!"
Smithers: "Oh yes - hot .. Look at it getting hot, Mr. Burns.. It gets bigger!"
Burns: "I'm not sure i understand this 'Role Play' you talk about. This... helmet is too big.."
Smithers: "Yes.. big!" *pants and salivates*
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
quote:Originally posted by WizArtist: Here goes........
100% Australian Made thankyou very muchly Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cartman: Yeah, well, far be it from me to part with tradition and all, but I just could not ignore the desperate (?) cries for salvation. I present thee:
Go to it, people.
100% Canadian made. Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Though injection mold technology had advanced leaps and bounds in the years since the popular Stars Wars line, Kenner�'s real difficulty lay in convincing parent groups that the Spaceballs action figures constitued 'wholesome fun.'
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
"From this vantage point, I can monitor my horse's rectal activity! Hmmmm...he's been eating a lot of corn it seems...."
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Wrong picture, Jason. Andrew's reposting earlier images for no apparent reason.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
bluh! Bleh! thppth!! no apparent reason!?!
Posted by Alshrim Dax (Member # 258) on :
Who won for the spaceballs parody one?
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Whoops, sorry...
The winner is Ritten, with honorable mention going to Lee. Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Cool. If Ritty doesn't have anything to hand, I have something I found the other day, just say the word. . .
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Do it up, Thanksgiving means less time posting, as the family gathers.....
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Do you have a robot named Gort?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"Now, that there's a Texas-sized hat! Y'all got any of those in cowboy-style?"
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Y'all pat my ass with that sword again and I'll make ya' eat that sissy fur hat a' yers.
Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :
Bush: Nice hat.
Guard: Hat?
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Major: I am going to stick my sword into that short-arse Texan.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Bush: "You wouldn't be hiding a WMD in there, now would you?"
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
Dilbush: Ya know... that's a nice buffalo hat you have. How many people you killed for that hat?
Palace Guard: Not as much as you have.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Bush: "I have to remember o pass that anti-mullett legislation before things get this bad back home..."
Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
Bush: Hi Marge
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Bush: I thought all the furries were from Texas! Hot damn! I'll have to add this country to the "Axis of Evil"! First I'll fuck up the garden though...
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Is that a sword, or are you happy to see me???
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
GWB: This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct... Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
"Hey, do you know the way to Baghdad? I can't read this map!"
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
George Dubya was intimidated with someone with such a large brain.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
I realize it's terribly uncouth to attempt the same joke again, but I'm full of mashed potatoes and vegetarian gravy so I'm obviously not thinking clearly:
Soldier: With the blast shield down I can't even see. How am I supposed to uncover weapons of mass destruction?
GWB: Your eyes can decieve you. Don't trust them. Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
*Bush, jumping back and forth*
"Now I'm in Britain, now I'm in America! Now I'm in Britain, now I'm in America! Britian, America! Britain, America!"
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Mmmm. Simpson's humor.
Anyway, my entry.
Bush: One more word, and I'll have Tony ship you off to Iraq, buddy.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
I'm not judging this, by the way, Ritten is, he won after all.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Sure he is.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
I'd like to think so.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Ok, like it really matters anymore who won the last round.
I have a picture.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
This is what Californians see when they happen across a pair of hard drives.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
"It's okay that the steroids have disolved your testicles: look at me! I'm the Governor of Cal-e-fornia!"
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Arnold: Congratulations and welcome to the team, Mr. Secretary. Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
Congratulations to Mr. Nuclear Nutrition Ultimate Nutcase 2003!
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Well, if there is any interest left, I declare Balaam Xumucane the winner and note that the guy Arnold is shaking hands with is probably in charge of fiscal (not physical) policy.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
I'd like to thank the Academy. I'd really like to, but I'm afraid I just can't.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
"What, this? It's. . . er, hairgel. Yeah, that's right, hairgel."
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Well, I thought he kissed like Spiderman, but that goo that he shot wasn't a web.
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Man: "I would like to stick my penis into that apparently conscious woman."
Woman: "I would like to stick my penis into that semi-conscious man."
Man: "Where is my neck?"
Woman: "I am firey!"
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
Woman: If you just start peeling here - you will notice I'm actually a MAN!
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Man: "Y'know, I only agreed to come on the Jerry Springer show because you promised me you were'nt a man!"
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Woman: "I'm fat, wrinkled and ugly. Please pay me a compliment."
Man: "Your eyesight is spot on."
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
I've been out of the loop for a bit, had to start a new job to pay the bills.....
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Man: "So...the butt?"
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
The correct answer involved high-current electrolysis, side effects of Klingon-steroids or 'bearded' ladies.
I'm declaring Cartman the W1NNAR because I suspect this to be an old joke from the nearly lost art of vaudeville. Simon is the runner up because even though, I probably don't get it, I still think it's funny.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
HOORAY!!!
Now, how best to capitalize on this.
(You were correct, BTW. Copyright of the joke belongs to, uh, the London Comedy Theatre. Or at least I think it does. But enough of that.)
One POWARUP to be had, folks:
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Pope thinking: Oh God, take me away from the complete and utter moron!!!!!!
Bush: ....and I would like the Vatican to release all of it's weapons of mass destruct to the UN or we will invade, as it is our right to.
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Pope (to self): "I ought to absolve the every Catholic in America of their sins... just ten minutes of listening to this guy is penance enough!"
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
Pope: Oh - I think I left the iron on!
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 138) on :
Bush: "As all you registered Catholic voters know, election time is coming up..."
Pope: "Please God, you owe me one, just smite him like in the old days."
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Pope: OMG I forgot my math homework!
Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
Pope thinking: I hope he finishes soon, I've got alterboys waiting in my room.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Bush: Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been 27 years since my last confession... Hey, uh... I have a list. It's kind of long. You want I should just hit the highlights? Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Bush:I heard a funny joke on the way to the Vatican today,- Why cant Jesus eat M&M's? Because he's got holes in his hands! Get it, John? Holes in...his..hands...awwww. I said somethin' bad again didint I?" Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Pope: "I heard this joke while I was on Flare.... A Wookie and a tribble walk into a bar..."
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
You're saying Omega is the Pope? I checked my wardrobe and it sure as hell isint me.
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Omega...The Pope of Flare Forums...
Kinda sounds like an after school special.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Shrub: Don't worry, your eminence, I'm sure someone will be along shortly to judge this contest. Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Which reminds me, I will be along shortly to judge this contest. B)
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
So. There can be only one PLAYAR worthy enough, and after ample deliberation (there were so many entries to rate, after all, and some things just cannot be rushed), I rule that X-Ray Boy, with his usual sledgehammer subtlety, narrowly snatches TEH GAEM'S POWARUP from Jason's ever-so-slightly less subtle clutches. Hobbes, Ritten and MM share second place.
Oh, and bX brings up the (distant) rear. B)
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
CUrses! I would've gotten away with it too, if not for you meddling Flarites and your Pope!
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
So... whose turn is it? Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Yours.
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Very well then. Here's a shot from my recently-purchased Firefly DVD set.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Jayne: "And this room, I call the "Lurrve Zone." Enter. . . If you dare."
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
"The whole ship's powered by a giant blacklight bulb."
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
"Dude! Where's my shuttle?!"
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Kazeite gets my vote.
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
"Why am I holding a replica of my sphincter on a stick?"
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
I hereby proclaim Kazeite the winner, with Lee a very close second!
(I suppose I should be glad there aren't many "Firefly" fans here... that 'cap is from the scene when the crew reacts to Inara's female "client" making her grand entrance. I was almost disappointed at the near-total lack of dirty jokes that seem so commonplace on Flare. Ah well. )
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
(which is funny in itself, but I want to see if you can make it even funnier )
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
John discovers that his new job as crossing guard wasn't quite what he was expecting.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 138) on :
These ducks may be stupid enough to cross a busy highway, but what the hell am I doing standing here without a car?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
duck: "Aflac!"
kid: "Wha--?" *WHAM!*
duck: "Told you."
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Hmmm...if I were Jason I would be wondering about the paternity of those ducklings.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
"hmmm....good deed vs. dinner for four....hmmmmm"
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
These ducks are from the planet Larsen on the Far Side of the galaxy.
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
Anyone else? Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
v.o.:'Sean Penn's original draft of "The Crossing Guard" had quite a different feel.' Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
To fuck a duck or not fuck a duck, that is the question.
Posted by B.J. (Member # 858) on :
They're in Ontario and heading NORTH??!!!
B.J.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Details have only recently come to light of Chief Moose's plan to test his theory that the Washington Sniper was merely a hunter frustrated by the end of the season.
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
With apologies to the Brothers Warner....
"Duck Season" "Human season"
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
Well, B.J. entry jusr cracked me up, and I can't say why
So, I declare B.J. the winner, with TSN second.
Posted by B.J. (Member # 858) on :
WOO HOO! Aw crap, that means I have to find a picture now, doesn't it? Okay, here goes....
(BTW - the bride here is actually my wife's sister!)
B.J.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Worst case of "jazz hands" ever.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Apparently someone thought the Chicken Dance was really the Smurf Dance.
Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
"I didn't know that this "marriage" stuff will require hands-on approach."
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
bride: *thinking* Oh, for the love of... We've been married three hours, and he already needs changing?!
[ February 13, 2004, 03:49 PM: Message edited by: TSN ]
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Lisa Marie and Jacko's second marriage.
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Bride (thinking): "I hope he doesn't plan on keeping those hands on for our wedding night..." Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Bride:And here I thought two left feet was bad. Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
The Man Train, Missouri-style.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
(Bride to self) "Well, you know what they say... large hands..."
Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
The last thing George remembers at his stag was someone mentioning a hand job.
Posted by B.J. (Member # 858) on :
Okay, I declare TSN the winner with "bride: *thinking* Oh, for the love of... We've been married three hours, and he already needs changing?!"
And Cartman, you have been declared dead last by assuming any of my family is from the great state of Misery. I only moved here 6.5 years ago when I was hired out of college, and I would love the chance to move back to the Southeast.
B.J.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Hey, now. I'm from Missouri.
I guess that doesn't really hurt your point, though, does it?
Anyway, time to find out just how much attention Liam pays to what goes on in his own Forum:
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Start the Man Train�.
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Liam and his vision of a dream date...with Jason.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Liam's secret career as a Sean Pennagram.
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Sean Penn and the lovechild of Scott Bairstow and Joshua Jackson smootching!
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
"Say, is that a pool cue, or are you just happy to see me?"
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
"Tries to collect the result in the glass for a 'Pale Ale'".
OK, can I ask - is that a picture of someone here?
Liam?? Psyliam?
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
I would throw one in that girl with the shimmery top.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
*finally gets AndrewR/UM's spaff joke* *bows*
Liam: Just tell me it looks sexy and rogueish and I promise to leave you alone at least until I have another pint. Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Liam, putting the moves on his partner with an ancient Liverpudlian mating ritual.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Liverpudlian is such a good word.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Well, that got a fairly lackluster set of responses. I'll make Cartman the winner, just because he used the word "Liverpudlian".
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
Seriously - who is who in that photo?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
The greasy-haired, loose-lipped character on the left is apparently Liam. The fellow on the right is... surprised, it seems.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
You are too kind, Tim.
And yes, my Liverpudlian jape could have been funnier, but since Liam defies all the laws of captioning anyway, I just went with what sprang to mind first.
Now, for a suitable follow-up...
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
I'm still wondering at what Liam's hoping to collect in that class - placed at the angle that it is ... and the otherguy has a bulge on HIS left leg... but I think that's a mobile phone
Oh and the otherguy is making a suggestive remark with his hands up giving a 'circular' sign
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
You are a bastard, Tim.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Timely!
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Wait, hadn't the statute of limitations already expired on that insult?
Posted by Nim the Fanciful (Member # 205) on :
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"Anyway, time to find out just how much attention Liam pays to what goes on in his own Forum:"
Well, that puts an end to that experiment.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
All this time and i thought no one had 'gotten' my joke - until i read back and saw Balaam got it. Now my second reply looks silly.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
I was doing exams and dissertation and stuff! I have done that now, so I have free time.
Shit, does this mean that I have to do things?
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
You should watch DEAD MAN WALKING!!!!!
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
You should also answer my question from two weeks ago about 64-bit CPUs.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"I was doing exams and dissertation and stuff!"
For three months, eh?
And those exams and dissertations didn't hinder you from posting EVERYWHERE ELSE on Flare. So no.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
That involved distractions. I am easily distracted. I just bought Tiger Woods for the Gamecube (he doesn't fit, hahahahahaha etc). I need to play Wind Waker. Go away.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"You should also answer my question from two weeks ago about 64-bit CPUs."
Ask Frank or Tim instead. Liam plays golf on his console. He is a freak. And there is nothing Liam knows about CPU architecture that they don't. Let the bastard rot.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
True, they are both far, far fatter than me, which gives them more CPU architecture knowledge.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
He may just became crazy enough to draw next photo ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
