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[QUOTE]Originally posted by The Mighty Dwarf from Outer Space: [QB] Star Trek:The Borg Strike Back With The Help Of The Dildos Written By:Mighty Dwarf from Outer Space The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt. After the credits, we see an assimilated chair exploding. This confuses the audience to no end. Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are on a holodeck fighting teletubies. During this scene, Picard complains about having a short "phaser rifle". There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must Blast the damn Borg Pyramid. Thus, beginning their mission. When they arrive at this mission, Data eats a soup with a knife. This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving The Enterprise destroying THE BORG PYRAMID with an dildo torpedo! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately. Later on, Picard finally finds out that that Borg King want's to assimilate Vulcan after he watched "Vulcan Love Slave III" , and thus the plot of the film finally begins. As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Dax, though this person doesn't really help anything. Then, Borg King, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Borg King is not REALLY that bad, because this villian is a virgin and he doesn't want to. The crew then learns that Vulcan is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue! While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'The Eye of the Tiger.' The audience groans. A little later, Worf cries because of a papercut. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience. Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, kicks Picard's fat ass. A little later, Vulcan's run around and sing Broadway sogs. The audience doesn't laugh, however. Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the forge desert. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite. Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film. Soon, find Spock on a jungle planet. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason... Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Son of a donkey and a...p'tak!' The audience pretends this is cool and edgy. Finally, the crew discovers that Borg King has a asimilation super dildo! This makes the situation very dangerous! In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Eeee... were are my pants?!' ...even though this makes no sense. In their attempts to stop Borg King, The Enterprise fires dildo torps. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Borg King. Soon, Riker shoots at Worf's mirror reflection. But this doesn't help anything. There is a final showdown in a nebula called Bongo Bongo. Almost defeated, Borg King, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his asimilation super dildo! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him. Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Borg King by firinga dildo rocket at him. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily NoName#47 saves Picard at the last moment. Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with having a short "phaser rifle". Picard then gives a speech about dildos. The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space. The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack. THE END [/QB][/QUOTE]
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