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Originally posted by Malnurtured Snay:
[QB]
I hope Trip doesn't "get over" his sister's death in this episode. This should be a recurring theme throughout the season.

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Do I detect a possible romance with Trip and T'Pol? Probably just my imagination.

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My GOODNESS could Hoshi and Mayweather be any MORE ignored?

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Here's hoping they get some chances to shine later in the season.

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I thought stumbling into the trap was a sort of bonehead move to make by Archer,

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but I guess his anger got the better of him.

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Consider this therapy, as I've felt like shit all week so far.

Through magic, I watched the first episode of the new season
of ENTERPRISE this morning. As regular readers will recall,
I follow these things through a kind of Darwinian interest in
tv drama.

Everyone knows that theme tune because everyone hates it.
A sort of sub-Creed pomp rock. Music for old people. Again,
the regulars will know of my slightly bizarre fascination with
credit sequences. They stamp the identity on the show,
require great skill and invention, and can make or break the
thing. The only intelligence evident in the vile STAR TREK:
VOYAGER was in the quite beautiful credit sequence, if you
turn the volume off. ENTERPRISE's credit sequence, too,
is clever and attractive. If you turn the music off. If you've
got the music on, well, you poor bastard... but you can at
least see where work has been done to match the visuals
to the sound. The point where the International Space Station
morphs and grows in speeded-up time is matched by a
howling guitar from Session Musician #1143, for instance.
So, yeah. The music is a horrible horrible misstep, but
there was at least thought.

How do you make that theme tune worse?

Simple. Keep the vocal line and make a new mix, adding a string
section, lots of strummy guitars and a new percussion track, making
it into a full-blown oldie AOR nightmare. Also, due to your new
and yet somehow festeringly ancient mix, mistime all the sound-to-vision
cues in the original, so that the music just sits there totally independent
of the visuals.

It really would have been much easier and cheaper for someone to
record a voiceover along the lines of "We really don't know what
the fuck we're doing here. Hold on, this'll be over in 40 seconds"
and run that instead of the music. Using the original mix in the
first two series at least made a statement, even if that statement
was "We are very old. Is this what the young folk of today like
listening to? Does this sound like one of those popular beat
combos from the hit parade?" Using a remix -- particularly one
this ugly and tired -- just says "We know something's wrong
with this, but we don't know what."

I use credit sequences the way shamen use animal entrails.
You know, instinctively, that Something Is Wrong.

You can extrapolate that out to the show. They know ENTERPRISE
isn't working, but they really don't know why. So they introduce
Terrorist Aliens -- a race comprised of five divergent intelligent species,
the equivalent of humans, dolphins, mantises, bears and lizards
all sharing the same intelligence rating. They live inside The Delphic
Expanse, a kind of Afghanistan of space where spooky people
hide in metaphorical caves and Nothing Makes Sense. And they
add the MACOs, who are basically the Marines from ALIENS, except
terribly polite and middle-class, like everyone else in the future.
(Steven Culp, who plays the head of the marines, is actually a
bloody good actor who did a fine turn as Bobby Kennedy in
THIRTEEN DAYS.)

Because the Enterprise crew aren't hard enough to take on terrorist
aliens alone.

There you go. Right here. That's the point where the producers
should have gotten their coats and gone home.

Imagine you've been watching this show for the last two years. Just
for a second, no need to call the bloody doctor's. Assume you've
been enjoying the adventures of presumably tough and resourceful
spacefaring types exploring and taming their little bit of the galaxy.
And here's the third season of stories, presenting their greatest
challenge yet.

And they say fuck it, we better take on a bloody great squad of
Marines to do the tough stuff for us, eh? I might break a
fucking fingernail fighting terrorist aliens.

Game over.

Or, if you will:

"Well... Spock. I've considered the.... situation. And. I. Think
it would be best if... we turned around, went back home and got
a lot of soldiers todothefightingforus."

"Dr McCoy, please observe. The Captain's entire penis has broken
off at the root. Fascinating."

Basic rules of serial storytelling: don't totally fucking undermine
your protagonists unless you have a damn good story-driven
reason for doing so that leads to a decent conclusion without
pressing the reset button.

It's a release to know that I won't need to keep tabs on what
ENTERPRISE is doing. Because, like VOYAGER, it's not
going to be doing anything. It's probably going to be dragged
out to seven series because all the others were, and to do
less is to look like a failure. But you can write them off. Because
the production team admit it in their work right here: we don't
know what's wrong. We don't know what to do.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, finally, the conclusion of the
Star Trek franchise. And thank Christ for that.

In another couple of years, STAR WARS will be all over, and the
lifting of these two things from the world will be like removing
a toxic waste dump from the landscape of the mind.

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Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Then we can get back to nuanced and subtle entertainment like Red. BURN! Plus the premise of "Listener" has some problems. UH OH!

But, uh, anyway, I liked the episode. I thought it was neat. The only two moments that kind of made me roll my eyes was the scene where we zoom in to see the little sniper scope pop up from the rifle, spending precious moments of camera time admiring it before firing, and the Vulcan sensual massage stuff. Not because either scene was particularlly ill-considered; I rather liked the way the shootout was done. But because you could almost hear the creators whispering "Look, a sniper rifle, and some skin! Get it? Isn't it cool? Huh?" And, well, sure, but it's hardly novel, you know? But I felt those were sort of...directorial missteps.
 

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Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
 
I would like to add that in addition to the AotC scene, Trip dream sequence strongly reminded me Sarah Connor dream sequence from T2
 

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Posted by Alshrim (Member # 258) on :
 
I liked it.. sniper rifle and all..
I like that they added a 'special ops' team on enterprise...

Ultra Magnus' Warren Ellis quote, can state all it wants about having this brave crew unerminded by a rough-n-tough 'polite' marine corps..
but frankly.. in todays world?? You can have the best goddamned submarine captain on the planet land somewhere in a hostle situation with his crew - and be faced with an mean and tough army force - and frankly. the poor submariner bastards, would be more apt to jump back into their ship and let the army boys deal with them.... while they deal with the battles they know how to deal with .. ship to ship..

Let's stretch that analogy... Christopher Columbus -- an explorer... was no more capable of 'special battle conditions' in his day than Archer and his crew are...

The enterprise crew are explorers.. not military gurus... in that vein - i think they've kept true to that.. by letting an elite group aboard to deal with 'special ops' stuff. and I loved the fire-fight too. so I must disagree with alot of what Warren Ellis says...

The first ep had edge, T'Pol looked good... good action.. the different Xindi were cool... pure entertainment value.. I liked it..
 

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Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Of course, this is a work of fiction, and thus things in it have symbolic values too.
 

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Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
 
The ending was a bit strange, IMHO. I mean.. the story just.. stopped. "All right, you've seen T'Pol's boobs! Show's over!"
 

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Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
 
I've seen worse endings to shows.
 

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Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
 
Actually it ended with the mantis-dude saying he's gonna get Archer whether the council approves or not. Hmm. Remind you of anyone?
 

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Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
 
Jimini Crickett?
 

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Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Harry:
The ending was a bit strange, IMHO. I mean.. the story just.. stopped. "All right, you've seen T'Pol's boobs! Show's over!"

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Maybe it was Pay-Per-View?
 

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Posted by EvilTree (Member # 1027) on :
 
Eh. It was okay. Didn't have high expectation, so wasn't disappointed.

Though do I detect a possible big arc sort of thing for the season?
 

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Posted by Dat (Member # 302) on :
 
um... yes.
 

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Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
 
Anyone else thought it was a bit strange that Phlox was basically pimping T'Pol?
 

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Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
 
I did

And, since Trip is his patient, what happened to his "will respect patient wishes" "cornerstone of Denobulan medical ethics"?

Yes, I know, it's very complicated, and you may perhaps argue that technically he "gave" him the insomnia "cure", but puhleese... my personal ratings for The Xindi dropped to half after that massage scene
 

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Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
 

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Originally posted by Harry:
Anyone else thought it was a bit strange that Phlox was basically pimping T'Pol?

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Didn't you see the second season episode "Phlox and his Hoes" - typical UPN programming!

Phlox had a big purple hat with a feather and everything!
 

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Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
 
I could so see Phlox in a ankle length fur coat with feathered hat and saphire pinkie ring.....
 

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Posted by Proteus (Member # 212) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Kazeite:
I did

And, since Trip is his patient, what happened to his "will respect patient wishes" "cornerstone of Denobulan medical ethics"?

Yes, I know, it's very complicated, and you may perhaps argue that technically he "gave" him the insomnia "cure", but puhleese... my personal ratings for The Xindi dropped to half after that massage scene

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Im sorry, if something like that drops the ratings for the rest of the episode, you have a great deal of sexual repression to deal with.

I thought it was hot and very sexy -- a well done scene. Sexuality in Trek isnt a bad thing unless your a repressed convention-going trek nerd.
 

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Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
 
Yes, Jolene Blalock is hotter than hell in a bucket, but it was a rather pointless excercise. We sure never saw Tuvok getting naked with Kes to help her deal with her problems
 

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Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
 

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Originally posted by Proteus:
Im sorry, if something like that drops the ratings for the rest of the episode, you have a great deal of sexual repression to deal with.

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Or maybe I'm not used to pointless scenes like that in Star Trek...

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I thought it was hot and very sexy -- a well done scene.

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Originally posted by Harry:
We sure never saw Tuvok getting naked

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Something for which we are all eternally garteful.
 

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Posted by Timo (Member # 245) on :
 
When you snip it like that, you do Tuvok a disservice. We did see him in the buff at least once. Although not with Kes. With Janeway. *And* the entire bridge crew.

Dunno if it increased the ratings, but reputedly the cast at least had fun at the set. As many here know, Tim Russ chose a rather unusual codpiece for the not-quite-frontally-nude scene...

Timo Saloniemi
 

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Posted by TheWoozle (Member # 929) on :
 
I think I got something different from you guys. When she stripped, it was to get his attention, since he was determined to walk out. Not being bothered by modesty, she had no real reason NOT to strip. The whole plot-point was to help him relax and sleep better. And, yes.. they wanted to show a little skin, for the ratings.
 

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Posted by Kazeite (Member # 970) on :
 
When she stripped they were already halfway through the "procedure", so she didn't need to attract his attention.
 

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Posted by Alshrim (Member # 258) on :
 
Nope.. but it was a beautiful thing..
If they wanna keep doing that cheesy stuff... Fine by me!!

Gotta remember that in TSO - the women wore short short skirts, or low cut outfits, that IN THE DAY, we very risqu�! God Bless 'em !
 

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Posted by Middy Seafort (Member # 951) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Timo:
When you snip it like that, you do Tuvok a disservice. We did see him in the buff at least once. Although not with Kes. With Janeway. *And* the entire bridge crew.

Dunno if it increased the ratings, but reputedly the cast at least had fun at the set. As many here know, Tim Russ chose a rather unusual codpiece for the not-quite-frontally-nude scene...

Timo Saloniemi

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Originally posted by Alshrim:
Gotta remember that in TSO - the women wore short short skirts, or low cut outfits, that IN THE DAY, we very risqu�! God Bless 'em !

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