Captain's log Stardate 52444.2 USS Mya-NCC-75678-Hyras class Captain James Brooks (Age:41yrs old from Alpha Centauri, only son was killed during the last month of the Dominion War, Seperated from Wife who now lives on the Federation's furthest colony, Served on Enterprise D as a ensign during 2371 and also served on USS Exeter as Luitenant during 2371-2372, Served on USS Farragut 2373-2374 as Commander and was given the Mya as a commendation as he saved a fleet of Cvillian ships which were under attack by Jem'Hardar ships. ) First Officer: Delo (Age:80yrs old from Vulcan, His Father was half Vulcan/Half Betazoid and is an admiral at Starfleet HQ, His mother was Vulcan and is governor of a small part of Vulcan, His brother was killed during an convert mission behind Dominion lines. He is muscualar and handsome) Tactical Officer: George Harrison (from Boston, Earth He as a child was ferryed between the different starships his parents served on. He enventually was sent to live with his Aunt on Earth, He was in Earth Orbit during the Breen attack and the ship was heavily damaged and he almost died. His parents were away from Federation space ferrying supplies to distant colony's during the Dominion war. ) Cheif Engineer:Kelepp ( female humanoid from Seko 4 a planet along the Klingon border, she was at the battles of Chin'toka, Cardassia and DS9. ) CMO:Jarys Nara (from Bajor best friends with Kelepp left Bajor in 2369 when Starfleet came in.) OPS:John Hanson ( from New York,Earth, He's best friends with George Harrison nephew of Admiral JP Hanson killed in TNG BOBW) Helm:SamWaters (From San Fransisco, Earth)
Hyras Class Info Length: 300m Height: 50m (10 decks) Width:150m
Weapons 12 Type X+ phasers 3 Quamtum topedo launchers (2 Fore and 1 aft) 2 forward facing Defiant type Phaser canons
Maximum Warp 9.965 for 48 hours (Twin Warp Cores and fuel supplies) (Able to leap 48 light years in this time)
HELM:Barok From Andor mentally by seeing his parents killed by Dominion forces during the occupation) We are currently docked at Starbase 254 waiting to depart to explore the space beyond the Fredrickson Nebula, This space has never been explored before by any Federation starship but recent longrange sensor scans by Starbase 254 have shown some intresting things. My First Officer is in transit on a high warp courier from SB 375 which is 17 days away from us at maximum warp. He will arrive in 3 hours time. The space we're in was untouched by the Dominion War. I have never been to DS9. My ship was just too far away exploring the upper Beta Quadrant, Infact we were out of contact with Starfleet for over 6 months. end log. The USS Mya departs for the Fredrickson nebula which is 3 days away at Warp 8. The ship now complete with Crew enters the nebula and slows to Impulse as the nebula makes use of warp drive impossible, The ship spends 5 days at Impulse and emerges from the nebula and due to another effect of the nebula make communication with SB254 difficult. The ship then engages Warp drive at Warp 6 to the nearest solar system which is only 1 light year away which will take it a day to get to. The ship arrives in time to observe a birth of another star as the system's Gas gaint turns into a star. A schockwave results as the star threatens the ship. The ship hits Full Impulse and raises sheilds but the schockwave hits them and is in danger of a dual warp core breach. Keleep manages to stop it and the ship warps away to a solar system 10 light years which is 10 hours at maximum warp. The ship arrives at the solar system and finds a abandoned structure which might provide a way of commuincating through the Fredrickson Nebula which is now 11 light years away just as the ship approaches the structure it is attacked by a ship, The Mya's sheilds manage to hold off the attack. The alien ship then switches weapons and these pass through the Mya's sheilds. The Mya fight back with Phasers and manages to cripple the vessels propulsion systems and then the Mya fires 1 Quamtum topedoe and it destroys the ship. The structure then fires a beam which collapses the Mya's warp field and the structure opens up revealing a vision of sparks and colours. The Mya is drawn into this and the sparks and colours knock the crew out and the ship is thrown out at an unbelievable speed towards the solar systems star. Sam Waters wakes up and discovers that the ship is now 5 minutes away form destruction. He rushes to Engineering and battles to restart the warp cores. He manages to get them up and running He then returns to the bridge and and engages the Mya's warp drive, It doesn't work, The ship is now 1 1/2 minutes from destruction, He now risks pushing the ship past it's maximum warp. The Mya begins to shake as the warp coils begin to overload. The ship enters the corona of the star and the ship is now 23km above the star's surface and as the ship plunges further. The Mya's warp drive finally engages and the ship leaves the star and the solar system and Sam Waters reduces speed down to Warp 9 Sam Waters orders the computer to distribute a (reviving agent) through the ships environmental systems and revive the crew. The computer does it and the crew wake up. John Brooks orders Sam Waters to drop to full Impulse as soon as there 2 light years away from the solar system 12 hours later the ship slows down to Full Impulse and the crew set about repairs. Delo decides to go back to the system using the Mya's only Runabout and investigate the structure He tells the crew he will be away for 4 days, He take Sam Waters and John Hanson and George Harrison . The USS Destiny NCC-76000 is launched and and engages at Warp 6 and will take 1 3/4 days to get there. During this time, The four officers get to know eachother. The ship drops out of warp and using only thrusters approches the structure and manages to find a docking port. It docks and the crew board and conducts a survey. The crew discover a interesting discovery in the bowls of the structure a piece of combined Borg/Dominion technology. But this ship wasn't any of the ships that came through the Bajoran wormhole, This leads the crew to one conclusion : The Dominion and Borg used to rule half of the Galaxy and there was a war when these 2 races met. The whole galaxy was a battlefield, They discover that Earth was fought over but in the end a mysterious aggressor from another galaxy fought them and beat them back to there space back in the Gamma and Delta Quadrants before returning to their galaxy....
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Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :
You know, I couldn't be arsed reading that, it hurts my eyes.
Have you ever heard of paragraphs, or formatting for Christ's sake?
------------------ "Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Gee, Captain who lost a son in the Dominion War ...
Andorian officer ...
Just kiddin'. But seriously, two officers named Harrison and Hanson? No.
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 6.27 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with four eps posted) *** "Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" -Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001 **** "The candidate who slimed John McCain in the primaries and smeared Al Gore in the general election is now the president who pledges to elevate the nation's tone and bring civility to our discorse. Kind of like Michael Corleone brought peace to the mob by killing the heads of the other four families." --Paul Begala, Is Our Children Learning?
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Couple of things...
How could the Tactical officer have been in orbit during the Breen attack as a child and still end up serving on this ship?
Runabouts are named after Earth rivers, so you may want to rethink the name USS Destiny (which was Ezri Dax's ship and should still be in service, BTW).
The plot of exploring an unknown cluster of systems with an overriding story arc could be interesting. The problem is that you've got a two parter here, at most. There's no ongoing plot around which to build a series.
I would suggest looking at the big picture first, then nailing down the details and dividing the plot up into episodes. See what I mean?
------------------ "You don't tug on Superman's cape. You don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off the ole' Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Jim." Aban's Illustration www.alanfore.com
Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :
You know, I'm resisting all urges here. It's hard. They should make a 12 step program for my affliction.
------------------ "I WANT A POST VOY SERIES STAR TREK ORIGINAL MESSAGE WAS LOOKING FORWARD NOT LOOKING BACK."
-Darkstar
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Give in to the Darkstar side, Ultra.
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 6.27 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with four eps posted) *** "Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" -Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001 **** "The candidate who slimed John McCain in the primaries and smeared Al Gore in the general election is now the president who pledges to elevate the nation's tone and bring civility to our discorse. Kind of like Michael Corleone brought peace to the mob by killing the heads of the other four families." --Paul Begala, Is Our Children Learning?
Posted by Mucus (Member # 24) on :
Great Idea!!!
------------------ "The Guide says that there is an art to flying...or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Life, the Universe and Everything
Posted by Nonsuch on :
George Harrison? does he get to sing "Something" in the pilot episode?
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Think "constructive" criticism, gents
------------------ "You don't tug on Superman's cape. You don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off the ole' Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Jim." Aban's Illustration www.alanfore.com
Posted by Antagonist (Member # 484) on :
Dear god, I'm lucky I can see what I'm typing here now.
I agree, I like the mix of TNG-like and DS9 story arc style, but it couldn't last for any longer than a mini-series. Indeed there many ways you could go with this, and I suggest you turn this into the first few eps, and expand from there. never forget your outlining story, though!
And rememeber golden rule of writing Trek episodes: All material can and will be recycled.
*LOL*
------------------ Call me Musashi!!! -Andy
Posted by DARKSTAR on :
This region is "south" of SB375
After returning to the Mya, The crew decide to head in deeper into this region and after firing a warp capable probe towards the frederickson nebula set a course at maximum warp that will take the Mya light years from Federation Space. The Mya now heads away from known space and continues to accelarate and encounters a powerful ally: Homeworld:18 ligh years The Tai (A warrior race who beleive in a set system of Family, Food and death). The Mya approaches the homeworld and learns that the Tai are at War with a race known as Kro'jak over a trade route to another system 3 light years away. The Kro'jak argue that the route goes through their space. Because of the Prime directive the Mya can't interfere. the crew of the Mya decide to head towards another system at about 17 light years away which is 17 hours away at maximum warp. The crew arrive and discover that that the 3rd planet has enough supplies to restock the ship. As soon as the Mya enters orbit. It's warp and Impulse systems go-offline. The ship is trapped in orbit and An away team beam down. They run into an ancient booby trap which traps the crew behind a forcefield. A ensign tries to shut it down but gets killed. Captain Brooks orders the Mya to fire phasers at the field and he immediately beams the away team up. The Mya has lost a crew member. The Crew using the Mya's sensors locate the source of the trap and changes the orbit using the Mya's thrusters and begin firing Phasers and Topedoes at the source. A series of explosions rip accross the surface of the planet. The Mya's warp and Impulse systems come back online just in time for the Mya to escape at Warp1 from the resulting explosion. The Mya returns to The Tai homeworld and conducts repairs. The ship decides to return to SB254 for major repairs as the ships Warp coils need to be replaced. The ship sets a course for the Fedrickson Nebula and engages at Warp 9.9 The ship reaches the Nebula 6 days later and powers down to Full Impulse. The Ship emerges 5 days later and re-engages her Warp drive at Maximum Warp. It returns to SB254 and docks. Captain Brooks tell Admiral Kouoni about the Tai. Admiral Kouni tells him that the Mya will have to wait for repairs as the Enterprise E is on her way as she's on her way to SB375 and has been to Rigel. Jarys Nara requests shore leave as she has to go to Bajor to visit her parents as she hasn't seen them since 2374. Captain Brooks says Yes ans the Mya will at SB 254 for 2 1/2 weeks before heading for Goran 5 deep in the Beta Quadrant. and she books passage on the next ship heading towards Bajor. Admiral Kuoni says the USS Bartholmew and USS Halifax:An Intrepid Class and Miranda class will be sent to the Tai Homeworld.
Posted by DARKSTAR on :
After 2 1/2 weeks, The crew of the Mya feel refreshed after going home and the ships Warp coils are now complete. The Crew are made aware that the Federation is sending more ships to the Tai Homeworld. The USS Lionheart:A Defiant Class starship is being sent to join the USS Bartholmew and USS Halifax, Also being sendt is the USS Jerusalem:A Akira class is also being sendt. The fleet will assist the Tai in their war after the Kor'jak after the Captains of the USS Bartholmew and USS Halifax found the Kor'jaks demands unreasonable. The Mya leaves SB254 at Full Impulse and then enageges at Wrap 8 which will take it 8 weeks to get to Goran 5. Enroute it will call to the Aldeberan system and take a new survey of the Paulson Nebula. It will also visit Typhon Sector before leaving Federation space. It will take 5 weeks to get to the Border and 3 weeks to get from the Border to Goran 5. Captain Brooks will see his wife for the first time in 13 months. 3 weeks later, The Mya enters Aldreberan orbit and picks up the new Aldreberan ambassordor for Goran 5. Kelepp recieves a subspace call from her son on Seko 4, He tells that, A Klingon came looking for her, he says that the Klingon was called Owan and Keleep cringes and we go into a flashback as Keleep is raped by Owan, She ends the call and starts to cry. Jarys Nara comes in and she knows what it's about and tells her that it'l be alright as Seko 4 is 4 weeks at warp and they are travelling away from Seko 4. The Mya spends 5 hours in Aldreberan orbit and then engages her warp drive again and heads toward the Paulson nebula which is a 9 days away at warp 8. The Mya continues to head away from the core of the Federation. They ar now 16 light years from Earth. The Mya passes by Earth 3 days later. The Mya manages to get a hail from HQ which tells them that the Ambassordor must get there within 3 weeks. The Mya accelerates to Warp 9 which means it will get to the Paulson nebula in 7 days. The ship arrives and manages to slow to Impulse and enters the Nebula and conduts a ay long survey before emerging out of the other side. The ship then enters warp, The ship is told by HQ to resume course at maximum warp. The ship arrives in the Typhon sector in 5 days . The ship arrives ahead of schedule and stops at DS5. The ship has been travelling from SB254 for 4 weeks 5 days. The ship spends 2 days at DS5. The crew use the spacestations luxerious and Sam Waters meets a freind who works in the command center of DS5. The Mya leaves for Goran 5 at Maximum warp and travells past one of the alien relay stations which connects to the Delta Quadrant, Captain Brooks thought about Voyager alone out there trying to get home, He had met Janeway when Voyager had called in on the Alpha Centauri system while she was enroute to DS9. The Mya's was now only 10 days away from Goran 5 at warp. The Mya entered orbit of Goran and Captain Brooks got some interesting reports from Goran that subspace waves were emminating from a star 3 light years away in unknown terriortory, Keleep got a call from her Son that Owan had been murdered by a bobby trap in the Gamma Quadrant. Keleep was delighted!
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Darkstar, whatever you wrote up there might be some of the best series ideas ever put to paper. Or it might be utter crap. I don't know. Why? Because I will not read anything that long without paragraph breaks or an attempt at spelling and grammar checks. It's just not easy to read, man.
Please use them, or few people will be interested in reading any of it.
Mark
------------------ "Why build one, when you can have two at twice the price?"
- Carl Sagan, "Contact"
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
And we have episodes 3 and 4. But still no underlying plot.
Dude, you need to come up with some broad strokes. What happens at the beginning, what happens in the middle, and what happens at the end of the series. How do they tie together? Where do you want it to go?
You need to answer fundamental questions before you start writing episodes if you'd like help in developing this.
------------------ "You don't tug on Superman's cape. You don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off the ole' Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Jim." Aban's Illustration www.alanfore.com
From Andor mentally by seeing his parents killed by Dominion forces during the occupation) 