Yes, it's that time again, when I waste an entire episode just to summarize everything that's happened since the last recap. Links to the full episodes are provided, just in case you want to read them in their entirety.
The Excelsior crew seizes control of Captain Braxton's mind and forces him to free them. Leaving Galvatron behind, they steal a bunch of temporal superweapons, they make their getaway. The Relativity gives chase...
When the Relativity catches up to the Excelsior, Evil Braxton uses one of the temporal superweapons to disable his persuers. Later, Evil Braxton reveals to Captain Braxton his plans for his past self: He intends to remove Captain Braxton's Borg implant and launch him into a black hole!
With the Relativity repaired, the crew gives chase to the Excelsior once again. Unfortunately, it has gotten away and Captain Braxton has already passed beyond the black hole's event horizon. Nearby, Evil Braxton connects all of the temporal superweapons together and detonates them all at the same time...
The temporal shockwave created by the detonation of the superweapon distorts the black hole's event horizon, allowing Captain Braxton to be rescued. Meanwhile, the Excelsior, which had been at the center of the explosion, had disappeared completely. Examination of Captain Braxton reveals that his Borg implant will regenerate in time, and Admiral Picard assigns a rather drunk Damar to be the Relativity's new chief engineer. The crew begins searching for temporal fugitives from alternate timelines, brought to their timeline by the temporal shockwave.
Annorax, one of the temporal fugitives from an alternate timeline, erases Risa from history to bring his wife back. What neither Annorax or his apathetic crew realize is that his wife is onboard and quite annoyed that no one seems to notice her. The Relativity, upon detecting the changes to the timeline, sets a course for where Risa used to be.
When the Relativity arrives, Annorax kidnaps Sulu and Damar. In a completely unrelated plotline, Galvatron (having been left behind by the Excelsior crew) finally has his day in court, and is freed when it is realized all he's done is laugh maniacally in the background. In fact, he already has a new job lined up: Spokesman for bwahahaha.com! While Sulu tries to come up with an escape plan, Braxton realizes they can't give pursuit because Sulu's the only one who knows how to fly a starship!
Sulu and Damar get help from Annorax's wife while the Relativity crew chase Annorax using the Aeon and the Enterprise-Z. Sulu gives Annorax's wife a not-so-original name (Xaronna). Xaronna brings down the weapon/ship's shields and the three beam over to the Enterprise-Z as the weapon/ship gets sent back to its timeline. Risa is restored. Xaronna joins the Relativity crew.
This episode takes place at the same time as "Charge of the Fire Brigade." The Excelsior crew finds thrown into the worst possible place by the temporal superweapon: The Babylon 5 universe! After much wailing and gnashing of teeth, they decide to raid the Great Machine to find a way home. They stop by a space station to get the Excelsior some Shadow armor, and Evil Braxton recieves the Apocalypse Box. They raid the Great Machine, but find no way home. Zathras joins the Excelsior crew. The Apocalypse Box tells Evil Braxton that it may know another way back to the Star Trek universe...
Captain Braxton awakes from a nightmare about the Borg to find that the Collective has sent another cube to assimilate the Federation. After Braxton lets it slip that an armada is waiting for the cube, the Borg travel back in time with the Relativity in hot pursuit.
The Borg cube and the Relativity emerge back in the 24th Century, during "The Best of Both Worlds." The Borg kidnap Kes, then merge with the 24th Century cube to form a Borg rectangular solid. The crews of the Enterprise-D and the Relativity join forces to rescue both Kes and Picard. Braxton blows up the Borg rectangular solid, but the damage to the timeline has been done. To fix everything, Ducane writes a letter to himself telling him to shut Braxton up before he reveals the existance of the armada.
After stopping by the Z'Ha'Dum Shopping Mall, the Excelsior crew finally approach the location the Apocalypse Box indicated. The Relativity crew watch as a planet pops out of nowhere complete with a marooned Chekov, while the Excelsior have a similar experience except with a marooned Bester. It turns out Chekov and Bester have been facing each other through an interdimensional gateway, where the Relativity crew and the Excelsior crew meet face to face once again. Before they can begin fighting, Alex Qbec, the Q Continuum's game show host, shows up and forces Captain Braxton, Evil Braxton, Chekov, and Bester to play Jeopardy to decide what happens with the gateway. Oddly enough, Captain Braxton wins, and Bester and the Excelsior are once again banished to the Babylon 5 universe. Bester incapacitates Hawk and takes his place as the Excelsior's tactical officer.
The Relativity crew is sent to capture another temporal fugitive, who has been attacking Klingon ships on its way to Qo'nos. It turns out the fugitive is Arne Darvin, who is the Klingon Chancellor in his timeline. Faced with the Relativity and a fleet of Klingon megawarships, Darvin travels back in time in yet another attempt to kill Captain Kirk at Space Station K-7. Following him back, the Relativity crew try to stop him. Kes and Xaronna find him by following the squealing of the tribbles, and Darvin is sent back to his own timeline.
The Mysterious Red Button is rescued by an alternate timeline's Kai Winn, who has the Book of the Kosst Amojan. After cleaning up the hyperwarp core because of Damar, the Relativity crew heads to Bajor to stop Winn. For the first time, the ship lands, but it kills the Cardassian Overlord of the East. The crew follows the Latinum Brick Road to the First Minister of Bajor, who tells them that Winn is in the fire caves. After frying Winn's winged monkeys, the crew defeats Winn by splashing water on her. The Mysterious Red Button is thrown back into the bottomless pit.
The Relativity finds itself transported to the mirror universe, and Mirror Braxton kidnaps Braxton and Ducane. Mirror Kes helps them escape, and the Relativity returns home.
Back in the Babylon 5 universe, Hawk has gone missing, and Bester, Dark Helmet, and Yoda are planning a mutiny. Dark Helmet leads the crew on a wild goose chase looking for Hawk, while Bester and Yoda try to hack into the computer. Eventually, the crew finds out what's going on, and stop Bester's plan. Bester is thrown in the brig, and it turns out that Hawk wasn't missing in the first place (Dr. Frankenstein just forgot where he was).
Admiral Picard is about to convince the Federation President to fire Captain Braxton when another alien ship shows up to communicate with Earth's whales. Unfortunately, because the whales never saw any money from Star Trek IV, they refuse to send it away. Braxton gets enough money to pay the whales from the now-rich Galvatron, but the ship crashes into the ocean once it gets near Earth. Fortunately, the ship's rather ugly shape comes in handy when it dives into the ocean easily, the whales get their money, and the ship leaves. Picard's plan is thwarted, for the President won't fire the guy who just saved Earth.
Admiral Picard, dismayed as to how awful Voyager's finale was, sends the Relativity to capture Admiral Janeway. After chasing her through several time frames and across the galaxy, Braxton fulfills his fondest wish by arresting his archnemesis.
Part I of II. Khan, annoyed that the Eugenics War is being erased from the Star Trek timeline, borrows Galvatron's ship and travels back to the 20th Century using the Guardian of Forever. There, he kills Henry Starling before he can find the Aeon. Back in the future, Damar returns from AAA (Astro-Alcoholics Anonymous), but a temporal ripple changes history, causing Sulu to be Captain of the Relativity and no-one off the ship to know who Braxton is. The crew travels to the late 20th Century to disable a device preventing them from travelling back to when the Aeon crashed.
Part II of II. The crew track down Khan and his 90's counterpart, and disable the device. However, with Starling dead, the Relativity crew replaces him with Bill Gates.
The Excelsior arrives at a technomage colony, hoping to find a way back. The technomage leader seems willing to help the crew until they make fun of his name (Binky), at which point he curses the ship and leaves. Evil Braxton attempts to follow him using the transporter, but is instead split into Apathetic Braxton and Really Evil Braxton. While half the crew tries to track down Really Evil Braxton, Rand convinces Binky to reintegrate the two Braxtons. Really Evil Braxton is finally knocked out by a rock, and Binky reintegrates Evil Braxton. However, he doesn't send them home. The Apocalypse Box knows of only one more idea for sending them home...
Investigating a Starfleet distress signal, Dax finds the torpedo that she and Bashir had shot Vic Fontaine out of centuries earlier. Fontaine uploads himself to the Relativity, where he threatens to sing to the entire galaxy. He is stopped when the Doctor joins him in a duet, which drives Fontaine to delete himself.
When Captain Braxton decides to open the ship's Observation Lounge, Guinan decides to apply for the job of bartender. She gets the job, but soon finds the crew is driving her crazy. She and Admiral Picard come up with a plan for her to get fired by having her hat constantly being in the way, which succeeds.
Just as the new version of TCARS is about to be released, a Crystalline Entity shows up and destroys the Daystrom Institute. It turns out that Bill Gates downloaded his brain into the Entity, and he destroyed the Institute so he could replace TCARS with his new Windows software. He is defeated when the crew tricks him into installing Windows on himself.
The Relativity crews finds the battered form of the Excelsior, back from the Babylon 5 universe. It turns out that the Excelsior travelled through a realm known as Fortyseventhspace, invoking the wrath of Species 474747. Once the evil Excelsior crew is thrown into their own brig, the Relativity crew is evacuated to the Excelsior with Sulu in command. Captain Braxton takes the cloaked Relativity to destroy the portal to Fortyseventhspace, but Evil Braxton and Bester have both stowed away.
Species 474747 begins the invasion, but Admiral Picard shows up with a huge fleet to combat them. Meanwhile, Bester (possessed by Species 474747) tries to stop Captain Braxton's suicide run, but Evil Braxton stops him and stuns his counterpart. While ships from all corners of the galaxy arrive to combat Species 474747, they are still getting beaten. Evil Braxton shoots Captain Braxton out in an escape pod, thus saving him, but not before reminding Captain Braxton that he is destined to become him in the future. The Relativity self-destructs, sealing the portal to Fortyseventhspace and killing Evil Braxton. Species 474747 is defeated, and Captain Braxton's escape pod is recovered.
While the Excelsior makes its way back to Starbase 47, the crew wonders what's wrong with Captain Braxton. After Evil Braxton's funeral, Dax and Yar find Braxton comatose. Hooking Braxton's Borg implant into a makeshift holomatrix, they discover what Evil Braxton revealed before the Relativity exploded. Braxton awakens, but he is still depressed over his fate...
When neither Admiral Picard or Admiral Janeway are willing to amuse Q, he travels to the Excelsior to annoy Captain Braxton. There, he strikes a bargain with Braxton: If Q can have some fun with the crew, he'll help Braxton avoid his fate. After a while, the crew convince Braxton to stop their torment, and Q decides to help Braxton anyway. Now Braxton must find an ancient alien artifact known as the Plah D'Viz, which has the power to eliminate paradoxes...
***
Next time, on Star Trek: Series ?, the Excelsior finally makes it back to Starbase 47. But to what ends will Braxton go to find the Plah D'Viz?
[ January 25, 2002, 19:29: Message edited by: Krenim ]
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Ahh, many happy memories. 8)
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
You have a vivid imagination, I can tell you that much. Brilliant stuff.
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Looking back on the past season, I must say that this has been one very freaky parody. I love it!
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)