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Series ?: Episode 3x22, "Never Ask About Nimbus III!"
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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" width="95%" align="center"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"><td> <table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"> <td colspan="2" align="left"> <font size="3" color="#FFFFFF" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>T O P I C ��� R E V I E W</b> </font></td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Krenim</b> <br /><small>Member # 22</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,1,16,33,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 01, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">04:33 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Star Trek: Series ?<br /><br />Episode 74: Never Ask About Nimbus III!</b><br /><br />The disembodied head of Admiral Picard rested on top of his desk. The office was dark, as all the lights were turned off. Two mysterious figures sat in the chairs in front of him. One of the figures spoke. "He's getting close. Too close."<br /><br />Picard nodded. "Yes, I know. I've tried to put roadblocks in his way, but he's adamant."<br /><br />The second figure spoke. "We've left this to you too long, Picard. Now we're going to deal with this situation... our way. Patrick Ducane will not discover what happened to Nimbus III!"<br /><br />***<br /><br />Ducane stepped out of his quarters on his way to the bridge. However, he slipped and fell as soon as he was out of the door. He bumped his head fairly hard, but was otherwise okay. He looked around to see what he slipped on. Marbles were all over the floor, but just in front of his quarters.<br /><br />He tapped his communicator. "Ducane to Braxton."<br /><br /><i>"What is it, Ducane?"</i><br /><br />"Have you lost your marbles?"<br /><br /><i>"Literally or figuratively?"</i><br /><br />"Literally."<br /><br /><i>"Nope."</i><br /><br />"Well, <i>someone</i> left a bunch of them outside my quarters, and I nearly killed myself when I slipped on them!"<br /><br /><i>"Don't worry, Ducane. I'll fix this up right away!"</i><br /><br />***<br /><br />Several hours later, Ducane and Yar were walking down the corridor towards Ducane's quarters. In front of every single door was a large can marked "Proper Marble Recepticle." Ducane sighed. "I don't think this is what I had in mind..."<br /><br />Yar shrugged. "Oh well. Hey, what's that in front of your quarters?"<br /><br />A small box labelled "Ducane Snacks" sat in front of Ducane's quarters. A cord ran from it, up the wall, and to an anvil hanging from the ceiling. Ducane scoffed. "Oh please... This has got to be the most pathetic trap ever!"<br /><br />"Braxton?"<br /><br />"Nah. The idiocy level is about right, but he has no reason to be out to kill me."<br /><br />"Who would be out to kill you?"<br /><br />"Well, I have been spending a lot of free time working on my pet project."<br /><br />"And that would be?"<br /><br />"Finding out what happened to Nimbus III."<br /><br />"Never ask about Nimbus III!"<br /><br />"Why not?"<br /><br />"I don't know. It's just what I've always been taught."<br /><br />"Me too. But planets just don't go around vanishing like that. And I think I'm close to figuring out what happened."<br /><br />"Well, someone obviously doesn't want you to figure it out. Someone idiotic, but someone nonetheless."<br /><br />"Maybe we can find out. Has anyone beamed aboard lately?"<br /><br />"Lots of people. Most of them unauthorized transports, too."<br /><br />"Most of them? Why didn't you report them?"<br /><br />"Well, there are so many unauthorized transports in the Star Trek universe that we just ignore most of them now."<br /><br />"Hmm... Then we'll just have to set a trap for my assassin!"<br /><br />As Ducane and Yar walked off, the two mysterious figures lurked in the darkness. The one thwacked the other on the head. "I told you those were the stupidest traps ever! Now he's on to us! We're doing this my way now!"<br /><br />***<br /><br />A crashtest dummy wearing a Starfleet uniform was propped up against a corridor wall. Hanging around it's neck was a small recorder, which kept on repeating the same phrase. "Oh no! I am Ducane and I am all alone where anyone could kill me!"<br /><br />The real Ducane and Yar hid themselves and waited for something to happen. Something did happen, it just wasn't what they were waiting for. Braxton showed up. "Aha! There you are Ducane! I've been looking for you!"<br /><br />"Oh no!"<br /><br />"Don't worry, it's not that serious."<br /><br />"I am Ducane and I am all alone where anyone could kill me!"<br /><br />"Well, we'll fix that. I'll escort you to your quarters."<br /><br />"Oh no!"<br /><br />"What? You don't want to go to your quarters?"<br /><br />"I am Ducane and I am all alone where anyone could kill me!"<br /><br />"Fine. We're going to your quarters."<br /><br />Braxton picked up the Ducane-dummy and carried him off. Ducane rolled his eyes. "Well, that didn't go well..."<br /><br />"Yeah, but at least we got to see two dummies talking to each other..."<br /><br />Ducane grinned, but then quickly got serious again. "We need another plan. One that will be sure to draw out my assassins."<br /><br />Yar thought for a minute, then said, "I think I've got an idea. But we need to get the captain's permission first."<br /><br />The two sped off after Braxton. Unfortunately, they found him in front of Ducane's quarters knocked unconscious with a box of Ducane Snacks in his hands...<br /><br />***<br /><br />The Doctor performed some scans on Braxton while the rest of the senior staff looked on. Ducane asked, "How is he going to be, Doctor?"<br /><br />"Well, the captain is lucky that he's so thick-skulled. He just has a nasty concussion. But he'll be out for a while."<br /><br />"Then I guess I'm in command. I'm about to issue an order in direct violation of Starfleet General Order 4747. Sulu, set a course for the Nimbus system. Maximum hyperwarp."<br /><br />***<br /><br />A short time later, the <i>Relativity</i> arrived in the Nimbus system. Sulu asked, "What are we doing here, anyway?"<br /><br />Yar answered, "Hopefully finding out what really happened to Nimbus III."<br /><br />"Never ask about Nimbus III!"<br /><br />"Yeah yeah."<br /><br />Suddenly, the turbolift opened and the two mysterious figures stepped out. Everyone was shocked at their identities. Dax was the first to speak. "Admiral Ross and Luther Sloan?"<br /><br />Indeed, it was the two Deep Space Nine recurring characters. Sloan coldly answered, "Yes, it's us. And we're here to keep not only the Federation, but all of Star Trek safe."<br /><br />Ducane was skeptical. "How? By eliminating me?"<br /><br />Ross answered, "No, by killing you."<br /><br />Sloan slapped Ross. "You idiot! They're the same thing!"<br /><br />Yar whispered to Ducane, "Well, at least we know which one came up with the Ducane Snacks..."<br /><br />Sloan continued. "The secret of Nimbus III must be kept at all costs!" And with that, he whipped out a little device and pushed a button on it.<br /><br />All of a sudden, the image on the viewscreen changed. Instead of the Nimbus system, two planets were all that were to be seen. Nothing else, not even stars...<br /><br />Ducane grabbed Sloan by the collar. "What have you done?!?!"<br /><br />Sloan merely smirked. "You wanted to know what happened to Nimbus III? Well, here it is!"<br /><br />Dax checked the sensors. "It's Nimbus III alright..."<br /><br />Sloan explained. "Do you know what the greatest threat to all of Star Trek was?"<br /><br />"<i>Voyager</i>?"<br /><br />"No, not even <i>Voyager</i> was that awful! I'm talking about <i>Star Trek V: The Final Frontier</i>, the only truly awful Star Trek movie ever made! A real stinker! It was then that Section 31 decided to get rid of all evidence the movie ever existed. Everything except for the Enterprise-A and her crew was sent into a pocket universe, never to be heard from again! It took us a while to do it. We didn't get Klaa until after <i>Star Trek VI</i>. But peace was restored to Star Trek. We can't afford anyone learning what really happened, so anyone who gets close is eliminated. We couldn't get you easily, so we had to resort to desperate measures: We've sent your ship into the pocket universe! None of us will ever escape! Hahahahaha!"<br /><br />And with that, Sloan tossed his device on the floor and then phasered it out of existance.<br /><br />Everyone was in shock. However, everyone snapped out of it when they were hailed by an approaching ship. It appeared to be Klaa's Bird of Prey. Ducane sat back in the captain's chair. "Onscreen."<br /><br />Captain Klaa, along with Sybok, St. John Talbot, Caithlin Dar, and Korrd, appeared. Klaa looked confused. "Hey... None of you are from <i>Star Trek V!</i>"<br /><br />"No, we're not. We were investigating the mystery of Nimbus III, but we were apparantly getting too close." Ducane pointed at Sloan and Ross. "These two sent us here to shut us up."<br /><br />"I see. Well, welcome to our little universe. Nimbus III and Sha-Ka-Ree are behind us."<br /><br />"I don't think we're going to be spending that much time here. I'm betting if these two know how to get us here, they know how to get us out."<br /><br />Sloan sneered. "We'll never tell you! We can't risk any of <i>them</i> getting out and infecting continuity once again!"<br /><br />Ross added, "Yeah, what he said!"<br /><br />Klaa thought for a second. "Oh, I think you'll talk. May we beam over?"<br /><br />Ducane nodded. "Sure, why not."<br /><br />Seconds later, Klaa and Sybok were on the <i>Relativity</i>'s bridge. Sybok went up to Sloan. "Each of us hides a secret pain... Share it with me!"<br /><br />Sybok did his freaky mind control thing on Sloan, but it apparantly didn't work. Sloan laughed. "Ha! You'll never get it out of me!"<br /><br />So Sybok turned to Ross and did his freaky mind control thing again. This time, it worked. Ross fell to his knees. "I admit it! My secret pain is that I'm an idiot!"<br /><br />Sloan was disgusted. "Here's a newsflash, Ross: It's not a secret!"<br /><br />But Ross ignored him. Sybok told him, "Tell this crew how to get us all out of here."<br /><br />Ross nodded and proceeded to tell Dax everything she needed to know...<br /><br />***<br /><br />Several hours later, Dax and Damar completed the device that would allow them to escape. Sybok and Klaa were very happy. "At last, we're getting out of here!"<br /><br />Ducane responded. "Well, <i>we're</i> getting out of here. You're another story. Dax, beam them back to the Bird of Prey and then get us out of here!"<br /><br />Before Klaa and Sybok could object, they vanished in a flash of blue light and reappeared on their own ship. Damar then activated the device and the <i>Relativity</i> returned to normal space.<br /><br />Sloan was dumbfounded. "You left them there?"<br /><br />Ducane nodded. "What do you take us for, idiots? We're not going to let them loose! And we're not going to tell anyone else about this, either."<br /><br />"Then our work here is done. Come along, Ross."<br /><br />Sloan whipped out another device and activated it. The two promptly vanished.<br /><br />Ducane let out a sigh of relief. "Well, all's well that ends well. Except for Braxton, who has major cranial trauma..."<br /><br />And so, the <i>Relativity</i> left the Nimbus system, keeping the secret of Nimbus III with them...<br /><br />***<br /><br /><i>What's Khan's latest master plan? Find out in the next episode!</i> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>MinutiaeMan</b> <br /><small>Member # 444</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,1,17,23,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 01, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">05:23 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Everything except for the Enterprise-A and her crew was sent into a pocket universe, never to be heard from again! It took us a while to do it. We didn't get Klaa until after Star Trek VI.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"><i>*snicker*</i> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <br /><br />I notice, though, that Braxton was knocked unconscious before he could utter his usual line: "Aren't you supposed to be dead?" <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>TSN</b> <br /><small>Member # 31</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,1,23,13,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 01, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">11:13 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Hm... Ross told Dax how to build the device. But it seems that Sybok (and maybe Klaa, too) were right there when he explained it. Seems like we may very well be able to hear from these characters again...<br /><br />Oh, and why <i>isn't</i> Sloan dead? <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>CaptainMike</b> <br /><small>Member # 709</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,2,1,49,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 02, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">01:49 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> hmm.. could have used some more scenes with Admiral Bob Bennett and God .. perhaps you can add that and the rock monsters in later in a special edition...<br /><br />i gotta write me one of these one day.. <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>CaptainMike</b> <br /><small>Member # 709</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,2,14,17,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 02, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">02:17 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Krenim, i know this is an odd request, but can i do a 'special edition' of this episode? I'm going to add special effects and a cool B-story that i think will be enjoyable. <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>CaptainMike</b> <br /><small>Member # 709</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,2,15,44,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 02, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">03:44 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Well, anyway, here's the version I edited, with some TFF stuff we've been discussing. If you don't like what I've done, I'll have it taken down:<br /><br /><b>Star Trek: Series ?<br /><br />Episode 74: Never Ask About Nimbus III! -- The Special Edition</b> (with apologies to Krenim)<br /><br />The disembodied head of Admiral Picard rested on top of his desk. The office was dark, as all the lights were turned off. Two mysterious figures sat in the chairs in front of him. One of the figures spoke. "He's getting close. Too close."<br /><br />Picard nodded. "Yes, I know. I've tried to put roadblocks in his way, but he's adamant."<br /><br />The second figure spoke. "We've left this to you too long, Picard. Now we're going to deal with this situation... our way. Patrick Ducane will not discover what happened to Nimbus III!"<br /><br />***<br /><br />The <i>Relativity</i> soared through a particularly majestic expanse of altered space known as the CGI expanse. Large luminous tendrils of opalescent energy coruscated across her hull, as the ship passed through a nexus that was a portal to untold dozens of realities. Sixteen X-Wing fighters dipped their wings as they dropped toward a rotating portal which led to heretofore untold realities. The V'Ger cloud sailed overhead ominously.<br /><br />Ducane stepped out of his quarters on his way to the bridge. However, he slipped and fell as soon as he was out of the door. He bumped his head fairly hard, but was otherwise okay. He looked around to see what he slipped on. Marbles were all over the floor, but just in front of his quarters.<br /><br />He tapped his communicator. "Ducane to Braxton."<br /><br /><i>"What is it, Ducane?"</i><br /><br />"Have you lost your marbles?"<br /><br /><i>"Literally or figuratively?"</i><br /><br />"Literally."<br /><br /><i>"Nope."</i><br /><br />"Well, someone left a bunch of them outside my quarters, and I nearly killed myself when I slipped on them!"<br /><br /><i>"Don't worry, Ducane. I'll fix this up right away!"</i><br /><br />***<br /><br />Several hours later, Ducane and Yar were walking down the corridor towards Ducane's quarters. In front of every single door was a large can marked "Proper Marble Recepticle." Ducane sighed. "I don't think this is what I had in mind..."<br /><br />Yar shrugged. "Oh well. Hey, what's that in front of your quarters?"<br /><br />A small box labelled "Ducane Snacks" sat in front of Ducane's quarters. A cord ran from it, up the wall, and to an anvil hanging from the ceiling. Ducane scoffed. "Oh please... This has got to be the most pathetic trap ever!"<br /><br />"Braxton?"<br /><br />"Nah. The idiocy level is about right, but he has no reason to be out to kill me."<br /><br />"Who would be out to kill you?"<br /><br />"Well, I have been spending a lot of free time working on my pet project."<br /><br />"And that would be?"<br /><br />"Finding out what happened to Nimbus III."<br /><br />"Never ask about Nimbus III!"<br /><br />"Why not?"<br /><br />"I don't know. It's just what I've always been taught."<br /><br />"Me too. But planets just don't go around vanishing like that. And I think I'm close to figuring out what happened."<br /><br />"Well, someone obviously doesn't want you to figure it out. Someone idiotic, but someone nonetheless."<br /><br />"Maybe we can find out. Has anyone beamed aboard lately?"<br /><br />"Lots of people. Most of them unauthorized transports, too."<br /><br />"Most of them? Why didn't you report them?"<br /><br />"Well, there are so many unauthorized transports in the Star Trek universe that we just ignore most of them now."<br /><br />"Hmm... Then we'll just have to set a trap for my assassin!"<br /><br />As Ducane and Yar walked off, the two mysterious figures lurked in the darkness. The one thwacked the other on the head. "I told you those were the stupidest traps ever! Now he's on to us! We're doing this my way now!"<br /><br />***<br /><br />A crashtest dummy wearing a Starfleet uniform was propped up against a corridor wall. Hanging around it's neck was a small recorder, which kept on repeating the same phrase. "Oh no! I am Ducane and I am all alone where anyone could kill me!"<br /><br />The real Ducane and Yar hid themselves and waited for something to happen. Something did happen, it just wasn't what they were waiting for. Braxton showed up. "Aha! There you are Ducane! I've been looking for you!"<br /><br />"Oh no!"<br /><br />"Don't worry, it's not that serious."<br /><br />"I am Ducane and I am all alone where anyone could kill me!"<br /><br />"Well, we'll fix that. I'll escort you to your quarters."<br /><br />"Oh no!"<br /><br />"What? You don't want to go to your quarters?"<br /><br />"I am Ducane and I am all alone where anyone could kill me!"<br /><br />"Fine. We're going to your quarters."<br /><br />Braxton picked up the Ducane-dummy and carried him off. Ducane rolled his eyes. "Well, that didn't go well..."<br /><br />"Yeah, but at least we got to see two dummies talking to each other..."<br /><br />Ducane grinned, but then quickly got serious again. "We need another plan. One that will be sure to draw out my assassins."<br /><br />Yar thought for a minute, then said, "I think I've got an idea. But we need to get the captain's permission first."<br /><br />The two sped off after Braxton. Unfortunately, they found him in front of Ducane's quarters knocked unconscious with a box of Ducane Snacks in his hands...<br /><br />***<br /><br />The Doctor performed some scans on Braxton while the rest of the senior staff looked on. Ducane asked, "How is he going to be, Doctor?"<br /><br />"Well, the captain is lucky that he's so thick-skulled. He just has a nasty concussion. But he'll be out for a while."<br /><br />"Then I guess I'm in command. I'm about to issue an order in direct violation of Starfleet General Order 4747. Sulu, set a course for the Nimbus system. Maximum hyperwarp."<br />The theme music swelled, as the Relativity swung a wide arc around, showing closeups of the stickers along its hull panels to the camera. The ridiculous aura of altered space around <i>Relativity</i>'s hull folded back for a moment, stretching graphics and pixels into proportions that only the most insane WinAmp visualization programmer could imagine as the ship stretched and flew towards its destiny. in the empty space behind it, several vessels unknown to continuity, but soon to be featured in the 'Shadows of Series ?' video game rearranged their formation.<br /><br />***<br /><br />In sickbay, The Doctor was rearranging Braxton's brain cells in the vain hopes of improving the performance of his substandard mind. Suddenly an alarm on the panel nearest him start to make a trilling noise.<br /><br />The Doctor sighed at the interruption. "Computer, what is that annoying trill?"<br /><br /><i>"Dax is on the bridge."</i><br /><br />"Not that Trill! I mean the trilling noise on the panel in here!"<br /><br /><i>"The patient is in danger. On our approach to the Nimbus system, the concentration of shatneron particles in the room just raised by 470%. The patient's mental activities have begun to slow."</i><br /><br />"But I've been examining him for years. His mental activities are already painfully slow!"<br /><br /><i>"Exactly."</i><br /><br />"So.. normal humanoid brains can resist the thought numbing effects of shatneron radiation.. but in the Captain's weakened state, they are causing damage?"<br /><br /><i>"Negative. The damage is the direct result of his insufficient mental capacity only."</i><br />"Oh, well that's good to know."<br /><br />***<br /><br />A short time later, the <i>Relativity</i> arrived in the Nimbus system. Sulu asked, "What are we doing here, anyway?"<br /><br />Yar answered, "Hopefully finding out what really happened to Nimbus III."<br /><br />"Never ask about Nimbus III!"<br /><br />"Yeah yeah."<br /><br />Suddenly, the turbolift opened and the two mysterious figures stepped out. Everyone was shocked at their identities. Dax was the first to speak. "Admiral Ross and Luther Sloan?"<br />Indeed, it was the two Deep Space Nine recurring characters. <br /><br />A security guard rushed over to the door, raising his phaser. "Freeze!"<br /><br />Sloan raised his hands in surrender. However, he was holding a small device in his hand. He surreptitiously pressed a button on its surface, and the security guard vanished in a flash of light.<br /><br />"You monster!" Sulu shouted.<br /><br />"Don't worry, he's been transported to the place you seek.. to Nimbus III"<br /><br />Dax eyed the two warily. "Ross.. is that you?"<br /><br />Sloan coldly answered, "Yes, it's us. And we're here to keep not only the Federation, but all of Star Trek safe."<br /><br />Ducane was skeptical. "How? By eliminating me?"<br /><br />Ross answered, "No, by killing you."<br /><br />Sloan slapped Ross. "You idiot! They're the same thing!"<br /><br />Yar whispered to Ducane, "Well, at least we know which one came up with the Ducane Snacks..."<br /><br />Sloan continued. "The secret of Nimbus III must be kept at all costs!" And with that, he whipped out the little device and pushed a button on it.<br /><br />All of a sudden, the image on the viewscreen changed. Instead of the Nimbus system, two planets were all that were to be seen. Nothing else, not even stars...<br /><br />Ducane grabbed Sloan by the collar. "What have you done?!?!"<br /><br />Sloan merely smirked. "You wanted to know what happened to Nimbus III? Well, here it is!"<br /><br />Dax checked the sensors. "It's Nimbus III alright..."<br /><br />Sloan explained. "Do you know what the greatest threat to all of Star Trek was?"<br /><br />"<i>Voyager</i>?"<br /><br />"No, not even <i>Voyager</i> was that awful! I'm talking about <i>Star Trek V: The Final Frontier</i>, the only truly awful Star Trek movie ever made! A real stinker! It was then that Section 31 decided to get rid of all evidence the movie ever existed. Everything except for the <i>Enterprise</i>-A and her crew was sent into a pocket universe, never to be heard from again! It took us a while to do it. We didn't get Klaa until after <i>Star Trek VI</i>. But peace was restored to Star Trek. We can't afford anyone learning what really happened, so anyone who gets close is eliminated. We couldn't get you easily, so we had to resort to desperate measures: We've sent your ship into the pocket universe! None of us will ever escape! Hahahahaha!"<br /><br />And with that, Sloan tossed his device on the floor and then phasered it out of existance.<br /><br />Everyone was in shock. However, everyone snapped out of it when they were hailed by an approaching ship. It appeared to be Klaa's Bird of Prey. Ducane sat back in the captain's chair. "Onscreen."<br /><br />Captain Klaa, along with Sybok, St. John Talbot, Caithlin Dar, and Korrd, appeared. Klaa looked confused. "Hey... None of you are from <i>Star Trek V</i>!"<br /><br />"No, we're not. We were investigating the mystery of Nimbus III, but we were apparantly getting too close." Ducane pointed at Sloan and Ross. "These two sent us here to shut us up."<br /><br />"I see. Well, welcome to our little universe. Nimbus III and Sha-Ka-Ree are behind us."<br /><br />"I don't think we're going to be spending that much time here. I'm betting if these two know how to get us here, they know how to get us out."<br /><br />Sloan sneered. "We'll never tell you! We can't risk any of them getting out and infecting continuity once again!"<br /><br />Ross added, "Yeah, what he said!"<br /><br />Klaa thought for a second. "Oh, I think you'll talk. May we beam over?"<br /><br />Ducane nodded. "Sure, why not."<br /><br />****<br /><br />In sickbay, The Doctor was frantically trying to stabilize the Captain's condition. His brain functions were slowing to the point where his body would soon shut down.<br /><br />"Computer, what is the best way to negate the effects of shatneron radiation?"<br /><br /><i>"The patient's brain must be given direct stimulation of rerun particle radiation."</i><br /><br />"Reruns? What kind of particle is that?"<br /><br /><i>"Reruns are subatomic particles that are created by the use of flashbacks, digital recompositing of old footage and stock footage. They must be introduced directly into the patients brain with a ridiculous apparatus of some sort."</i><br /><br />"Very well.. orderly, requisition a ridiculous apparatus from the cargo area"<br /><br />The orderly, being an extra who was not a speaking part, nodded briskly and walked through the door.<br /><br />***<br /><br />Seconds later, Klaa and Sybok were on the <i>Relativity</i>'s bridge. Sybok went up to Sloan. "Each of us hides a secret pain... Share it with me!"<br /><br />Sybok did his freaky mind control thing on Sloan, but it apparantly didn't work. Sloan laughed. "Ha! You'll never get it out of me!"<br /><br />So Sybok turned to Ross and did his freaky mind control thing again. This time, it worked. Ross fell to his knees. "I admit it! My secret pain is that I'm an idiot!"<br /><br />Sloan was disgusted. "Here's a newsflash, Ross: It's not a secret!"<br /><br />But Ross ignored him. Sybok told him, "Tell this crew how to get us all out of here."<br /><br />Ross nodded and proceeded to tell Dax everything she needed to know...<br /><br />***<br /><br />The Doctor position the frame of a ridiculous apparatus over Braxton's head. Three needles from along the inside of its frame extended, jabbing through the Captain's skull and penetrating to the center of his brain.<br /><br />"I hope this works. Seeing needles stick through his skull is giving me the willies." The orderly nodded at The Doctor's comment and retrieved the control PADD.<br /><br /><i>"Beginning rerun particle stimulation..."</i><br /><br />***<br /><br />Captain Braxton's eyes fluttered for a moment, then he found himself standing in a room of officers aboard a starship.<br /><br />"Who threw.. thefirstpunch?"<br /><br />James Tiberius Kirk stared into Braxton's eyes.<br /><br />"I dunno."<br /><br />"You.. dunno.." Kirk's eyes crossed for a moment.<br /><br />Kirk stepped along the line until he got to O'Brien. He was about to ask the question again, when Braxton strolled out of the room.<br /><br />"What.. do you thinkyou're doing?!" Kirk chased him.<br /><br />Dax and Sisko were in the corridor, pretending to fix a power junction.<br /><br />"Dax! What's going on here? Hey, Dax!"<br /><br />Sisko looked stunned for a moment and then grabbed Dax's arm and led her away. Arne Darvin and Jabba the Hutt were superimposed at the other end of the corridor.<br /><br />***<br /><br /><i>"Warning.. patient's vital signs are failing."</i><br /><br />The computer's warning trill was beeping again, and the Doctor frantically emptied a hypo into Braxton.<br /><br />"Why didn't it work?! I thought the reruns would save him!"<br /><br />The orderly held up one finger to the doctor.<br />"Yes, what!?"<br /><br />The orderly shook his head and rubbed his thumb and forefinger together.<br /><br />"Oh, very well." The Doctor punched the orderly's Screen Actor's Guild card and slapped a few bills in his hand. "You now have a speaking part. You know, we're already spending our whole budget on the Special Edition effects, we don't need more actors to pay."<br /><br />The orderly smiled and pocketed the money. "You're using the wrong kind of radiation. There is a special wavelength which will work better than the radiation created by Forrest Gump style recompositing."<br /><br />"I'm a doctor, not a cinematographer! What is it already?"<br /><br />"You need to use cut footage... the stuff that never made it onscreen..."<br /><br />"You mean like that security guard bit we stole from <i>The Motion Picture</i>?"<br /><br />"Exactly.."<br /><br />***<br /><br />The world reformed around Braxton.<br /><br />He was on the bridge of the original Enterprise, but now it was the refit version. Admiral Kirk was standing there with Cadet Preston, Saavik, Spock, Scotty and Sulu.<br /><br />"I hereby promote you to captain, Mr. Sulu" Kirk then turned towards the camera, and stuck out his tongue and crossed his eyes.<br /><br />Braxton shuddered. "What an awful day for the Federation.."<br /><br />Saavik looked at Spock, and tilted her head. "I'm half-Romulan." Spock nodded solemnly.<br /><br />Scotty walked over to Kirk and said, "That kid over there is me nephew."<br /><br />Braxton again hurried to get away from the odd ensemble, running towards an airlock and donning a thruster suit. He launched himself out into space, turning around to see that the <i>Enterprise</i>'s hull was interrupted by a series of wooden girders around the airlock.<br /><br />"Wow, things were made real shoddily in the 23rd century!"<br /><br />He saw another spacesuited figure flying around, towards the V'Ger opening that was outside of the Enterprise. He tried to follow, but soon found an array of tiny crystals, like little mirrors, stuck to his suit. He was being eaten alive by the memory wall!<br /><br />He called for help on his communicator, and <i>Voyager</i> swooped through the cloud, launching the Aeroshuttle from the bottom of its saucer in a complicated computer-generated effects sequence.<br /><br />***<br /><br /><i>"Patient's vital signs are still dropping."</i><br /><br />"Of course!" The Doctor exclaimed, and made some adjustments. "The particles are shatnerons.. we need to use cut ideas from a Shatner flick to save Braxton."<br /><br />He made a final adjustment and again stimulated Braxton's dying brain.<br /><br />***<br /><br />The Aeroshuttle had changed around him, into a movie-era shuttlecraft. Braxton found himself landing on Sha Ka Ree.<br /><br />"Wow I made it to the center of the galaxy in 15 minutes. Good mileage on these things!"<br /><br />He got out of the shuttle in the dead of the Sha Ka Ree night.. the cathedral of the God-creature burned with horrid energy.<br /><br />"Gee, I've always been pretty sure I wouldn't die alone. I'm hoping I was right."<br /><br />A frightful shrieking roar raised up from the fiery pit, and several rock monsters jumped out. General Traag of Dimension X, and the Eternian warriors Rokkon and Stonedar flew out of the hole. The rock creature Gorignak from Galaxy Quest formed ominously.<br /><br />Braxton began to jog towards the shuttle, tears streaming down his face. "I'm not alone I won't die... waaaaah!"<br /><br />Traag's blaster was shooting hot death all over the rocky terrain. Rokkon and Stonedar had transformed into meteorites and were pummeling the surface of the planet like explosive meteorites. Braxton was barely keeping ahead of their onslaught.<br /><br />"I might just pull this one off" he yelled, as he saw the shuttle in the distance. <br /><br />He climbed inside, finding the controls were dead. Suddenly the ship lurched! Gorignak lifted the shuttle, and tore off the warp nacelle!<br /><br />"Mommy!"<br /><br />Braxton screamed, and hugged Yeoman Rand, as the shuttle's hull was ripped open.<br /><br />***<br /><br />The Doctor looked up from his PADD.<br /><br />"We've done it! The Captain's brainwaves are normalizing. We used enough cut and unrealized footage to completely numb his brain the the effects of the shatneron particles"<br /><br />"Now we just need to repair the damage these needles and those marbles caused to his skull..." The orderly added.<br /><br />"Damn.."<br /><br />***<br /><br />Several hours later, Dax and Damar completed the device that would allow them to escape. Sybok and Klaa were very happy. "At last, we're getting out of here!"<br /><br />Ducane responded. "Well, we're getting out of here. You're another story. Dax, beam them back to the Bird of Prey and then get us out of here!"<br /><br />Before Klaa and Sybok could object, they vanished in a flash of blue light and reappeared on their own ship. Damar then activated the device and the Relativity returned to normal space.<br /><br />Sloan was dumbfounded. "You left them there?"<br /><br />Ducane nodded. "What do you take us for, idiots? We're not going to let them loose! And we're not going to tell anyone else about this, either."<br /><br />"Then our work here is done. Come along, Ross."<br /><br />Sloan whipped out another device and activated it. The two promptly vanished.<br /><br />Ducane let out a sigh of relief. "Well, all's well that ends well. Except for Braxton, who has major cranial trauma..."<br /><br />And so, the <i>Relativity</i> left the Nimbus system, keeping the secret of Nimbus III with them...<br /><br />*** <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Krenim</b> <br /><small>Member # 22</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,2,18,2,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 02, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">06:02 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> It took me a few minutes to figure out how this thread got so huge...<br /><br />Special edition, eh? Well... I'm okay with it. But let's not make a habit of it. I'm not a fan of special editions.<br /><br />The special effects are not only gratuitous, but they're pointless too! Excellent. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <br /><br />Loved the annoying trill joke.<br /><br />Braxton/Doctor subplot, huh? I suppose that's okay, but I write "Series ?" just to be something that someone can read in a few minutes and hopefully get a laugh or two out of. As such, I make them short. That, and I'm rather busy these days, so I find time to write when I can.<br /><br />And I thought <i>I</i> was bad with arcane references to Transformers! GENERAL TRAAG?!?! There's a name I've not heard for a while. Un-nifty fact: Krang's not in the new Ninja Turtles cartoon! There's no justice in this world! First he gets booted out of the old cartoon, and now this! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <br /><br />Anyway, nice work. Noncanon (I thought I'd never have to apply that term with respect to "Series ?"), but nice work.<br /><br />If you (or anyone else for that matter) is interested in doing some "canon" work on the series, I'll be making an announcement of sorts after the season finale (coming up soon). I've got an evilly wicked idea, but I'll need help on it... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>MinutiaeMan</b> <br /><small>Member # 444</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,2,18,24,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 02, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">06:24 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Krenim:<br /><strong>I've got an evilly wicked idea, but I'll need help on it...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">"Series ?: The Movie"? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" /> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Krenim</b> <br /><small>Member # 22</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,2,18,42,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 02, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">06:42 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Nope. Even more wickedly evil. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>TSN</b> <br /><small>Member # 31</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,2,21,56,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 02, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">09:56 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> A spin-off? "Series ?!"? <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Vogon Poet</b> <br /><small>Member # 393</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,3,1,10,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 03, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">01:10 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> If it's the one we discussed, then it's even eviller than that. . . <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Eclipse</b> <br /><small>Member # 472</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,3,14,1,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 03, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">02:01 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by TSN:<br /><strong> A spin-off? "Series ?!"? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">ROFL! <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Vogon Poet</b> <br /><small>Member # 393</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,3,16,15,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 03, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">04:15 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Nearly. Research has shown that non-fans will be more likely to read the show if it doesn't have 'series' in the title. So the spinoff will be called "<b>?!</b>" 8) <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>MinutiaeMan</b> <br /><small>Member # 444</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,11,3,17,32,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">December 03, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">05:32 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> LMAO! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <br /> </font> </td></tr> </table></td></tr></table> <br /> <br />
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