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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" width="95%" align="center"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"><td> <table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"> <td colspan="2" align="left"> <font size="3" color="#FFFFFF" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>T O P I C ��� R E V I E W</b> </font></td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Sol System</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,5,15,1,51,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">June 15, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">01:51 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> I don't know if this is the author or not, but this was posted by one Chadd VanZanten in alt.music.tmbg. A few slight spelling changes by me.<p>Darth Vader's post-Yavin report.<p>Vader: What is thy bidding, my master?<br>Emperor: Report.<br>V: I need...um, more men.<br>E: More men? I felt a disturbance in the Force, as if thousands of voices cried out in terror and then were suddently silenced. I was assuming it was the hidden rebel base...<br>V: Hmm. Well, yes and no, my master.<br>E: What then?<br>V: The rebels...got away.<br>E: ALL OF THEM!?<br>V: Well, in a way, yes.<br>E: Oh, for hell's sake, Vader. I'm coming out there right away. We'll discuss this futher in the Death Star.<br>V: *cringing* Eeeeh, see, that's the thing...<br>E: What?<br>V: There are some...problems with the new Death Star.<br>E: I hope they're not too serious, I put a lot of money into that machine, you know.<br>V: Yes... Master, erm, could you define "too serious"?<br>E: Oh, just get to the point, Vader. It's the size of a small moon, what could have gone wrong? Vader?<br>V: My master, we were attacked by the rebel ships. There were a lot of them.<br>E: What are you saying?<br>V: They had technical read-outs, my master.<br>E: What happened to my Death Star!?<br>V: Master, the Death Star has been... disabled.<br>E: You incompetent fool! How long to have it running again?<br>V: Did I mention they had technical read-outs, master? Full, devastatingly complete technical read-outs?<br>E: Vader, I'm sensing that I'm going to have to slap you. Now out with it, or I'll take the batteries out of your intestinal tract again.<br>V: Master, the Death Star was blown up by the rebel ships.<br>E: Imbecile!! The most magnificent instrument of destruction in the history of...well, in all history, and you let it be blown up by<br>rebels!? How many rebel ships are we talking about here!?<br>V: Um...an entire armada?<br>E: How many is that?<br>V: Well, you know, it varies with regional commanders...there's 4 - 6 ships in a wing, and they had a Gold Leader, Red Leader, Blue Leader... <br>E: HOW MANY??<br>V: ...twenty-five. Give or take.<br>E: I'LL EAT YOU ALIVE FOR THIS!<br>V: I got distracted, my master! One of them screamed "Yahoo!" right into the com-link, and then my wingman swerved and--<br>E: *sniveling* My wingman swerved and someone screamed in the com-link -- BAH! Next you'll be telling me that Yoda pushed you down at school! Put Grand Moff Tarkin on the line!<br>V: See, that's...the other thing.<br>E: Don't you dare tell me that Tarkin was on the Death Star when it blew...<br>V: He was getting old, master, you know he wasn't getting around like he used--<br>E: Ah Dammit! He was my best Moff! You know how hard it is to find good Moffs these days!? You think I can just walk out to the Moff tree and get<br>another one!? Who else was on the Death Star!?<br>V: ...everyone but me...<br>E: 250,000 Stormtroopers, 50 squadrons of fighter craft, a legion of support personnel and an entire generation of elite military leadership,<br>LOST! Pinching off the windpipes of your commanders is one thing, but this!! I'll bust you down to 3P0 unit for this! You'll be emptying<br>oil-pans on R2 units till you rust!<br>V: Begging the master's pardon, but don't you have to promote me, in light of the fact that most of the rest of the Empire has been blown<br>away?<br>E: Insolent worm! What are you talking about!?<br>V: I'm all you've got left, my master. You have to promote me.<br>E: Obi H. Kenobi! You're right...damn your sickly pale hide, you're right...<br>V: Master, I have it all planned out. We'll build a new Death Star, bigger and better, with a bi-i-i-i-ig shield all around it. Oh, and can I get a personal Star Destroyer to find the rebels? A big one? All to myself?<br>E: Pff, with my luck you'll probably drive it into the new Death Star...<br>V: Oh, and master?<br>E: What is it?<br>V: Can you come pick me up?<p><P>------------------<BR>"According to myth, the earth was created in six days. Now watch out! Here comes Genesis. We'll do it for you in six minutes."<br>--<br>Dr. Leonard H. McCoy <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Tora Ziyal</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,5,15,2,45,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">June 15, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">02:45 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> *LOL*<P>------------------<BR>"O Notre-Dame!<br> Oh! Laisse-moi rien qu'une fois<br> Pousser la porte du jardin d'Esmeralda"<br>--"Belle", Notre Dame de Paris<p><br> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Tahna Los</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,5,16,0,24,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">June 16, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">12:24 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> The Emperor would do that choke move in an instant........<P>------------------<BR>I can resist anything.......<br>Except Temptation <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Jedi Weyoun</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,5,16,0,34,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">June 16, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">12:34 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> *chuckles* interesting...<P>------------------<BR>"Fear attracts the fearful"<br>([[[[[[*]}������������������������� <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Malnurtured Snay</b> <br /><small>Member # 411</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,4,21,21,2,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 21, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">09:02 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Just had to kick this one back up <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="smile.gif" /> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Veers</b> <br /><small>Member # 661</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,4,22,5,38,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 22, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">05:38 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Matrix</b> <br /><small>Member # 376</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,4,22,7,55,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 22, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">07:55 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Funny. I once read a comic like that, maybe if i can find I can scan a few images. <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>CaptainMike</b> <br /><small>Member # 709</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,4,22,8,8,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 22, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">08:08 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> I got a SW comic a couple of summers ago that had Mace and Yoda eating at a Coruscant diner that gets held up by thieves, until the two take them apart. It's so funny, I'm going to have to post the full text of it. <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Malnurtured Snay</b> <br /><small>Member # 411</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,4,22,8,10,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 22, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">08:10 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Is Dex in it? He was the best alien in AoTC. <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Wraith</b> <br /><small>Member # 779</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,4,22,10,42,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 22, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">10:42 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> . Very funny. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Nim Pim</b> <br /><small>Member # 205</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,4,22,11,24,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 22, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">11:24 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Yes, good ol' <i>great stuph</i>. <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>koy'peled Oy'tio</b> <br /><small>Member # 796</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2002,4,22,14,38,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 22, 2002</span> <span class="timeformat-0">02:38 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> MUHAHAHAHAHA.....hahahahaha....ha................................MEHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH.....MUHA ... ha.......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...........HA! Stupid Tarkin.<br /> <br /> <small>[ May 22, 2002, 14:40: Message edited by: koy'peled Oy'tio ]</small> <br /> </font> </td></tr> </table></td></tr></table> <br /> <br />
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