Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
A friend sent this to me. Telemarketers, your days are NUMBERED!!!!! Read and learn...... One thing that has always bugged me, and I`m sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this:
Me: Hello AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes This is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please? Me: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. Me: OK, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid five minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting. Me: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron? Me: May I ask who is calling please? AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron? Me: Yes, is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: The phone company? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: I thought you said this was AT&T. AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company. Me: I already have a phone. AT&T: We aren`t selling phones today Mr. Byron. Me: Well whatever it is, I`m really not interested but thanks for calling.
When you are not interested in something, I don`t think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying ``I`m really not interested``, but this lady was persistent.
AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a ``rate`` of 10 cents a minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.
Me: Now, that`s 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day? AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir that`s right! 24 hours a day! Me: 7 days a week? AT&T: That`s right. Me: 365 days a year? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That`s amazing! AT&T: We think so! Me: That`s quite a sum of money! AT&T: Yes sir, it`s amazing how it adds up. Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance? AT&T: Excuse me? Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute. AT&T: What are you talking about? Me: You said you`d give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I`m just interested in knowing how you will be making payment. AT&T: Oh no sir, I didn`t mean we`d be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute. Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn`t you say you`d give me 10 cents a minute. Are you sure this is AT&T? AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but...... Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you`ll give me 10 cents a minute that I`ll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I`ve read about things like this in the Enquirer you know. Don`t use your alien brainwashing techniques on me. AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for..... Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please! AT&T: Sir, I don`t think that is necessary. Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later? AT&T: What? Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold on.
So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I`m waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:
Supervisor: Mr. Byron? Me: Yeth? Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program. Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.
I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.
Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan. Supervisor: OK, no problem, I`ll transfer you back to the person who was helping you. Me: Thank you.
I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan? Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I`m an only child and I`d really like to have a little brother... AT&T: (click)
------------------ I can resist anything....... Except Temptation
------------------ Ohh, so Mother Nature needs a favor? Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts, and plagues and poison monkeys. Nature started the fight for survival and now she wants to quit because she's losing...well I say "Hard Cheese"! ~C. Montgomery Burns
posted
I used to like to do something (vaguely) similar back when I rented my housing, instead of buying it. When I had time, of course. It was particularly effective when the seller was pushing aluminum (or vinyl) siding, but it was equally entertaining when the product was carpet or storm windows.
I'd play the part of the interested buyer. I'd ask questions that not only projected interest, but a willingness to part with gobs of money.
Salesman: "We have two-pane windows filled with nitrogen with an insulation rating of (something) for only (expensive price), and we're offering them now for only (slightly less expensive price)."
Me: "I've heard there is a triple-pane window filled with inert gas. Do you have those instead?"
Salesman: "Let me check" [Pause] "Oh, yes. You want the Flobert 500 model with helium-filled panes and unobtanium frames. Are you sure you want those? They're (truly absurd amount)."
Me: "Oh, yes. Those are the ones. I have (number) windows, none of them smaller than (some dimension). The current ones are just better than screen windows.The house was built in the 1950s, when opening and closing were considered expensive options only the rich could afford.
Salesman: [Laughter] "Well, we're a bit more advanced than that now, sir. So, are you interested in our offer?"
Me: "Yes. There's only one problem."
Salesman: "Oh? What?"
Me: "I rent."
[*Click*]
When you live alone, any non-emergency break from the routine counts as entertainment.
--Baloo
------------------ "Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly, for the same reason." --(Unknown) Come Hither and Yawn...
[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited January 20, 2000).]
posted
Hm... We've got Caller ID, so we pass over junk calls... But, I think, at some point, I'm going to have to pick up on one just so I can annoy the hell out of them. I've always wanted to do this sort of stuff... :-)
------------------ "Voyager is not true. If it were true, the ship would not look spick-and-span every week, after all these battles it goes through. How many times has the bridge been destroyed? How many shuttlecrafts have vanished, and another one just comes out of the oven? That kind of bullshitting the audience I think takes its toll." -Ronald D. Moore
posted
It's better than prank calls, because they called you. As long as you don't say anything illegal (such as making a threat of violence), they can't make a valid complaint. And unlike prank calls, there's no hurry to hang up when they catch on, but sometimes they will -- hang up, that is.
------------------ "Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly, for the same reason." --(Unknown) Come Hither and Yawn...
Orion Syndicate
He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
Member # 25
posted
Hey! I used to be a telemarketer in my previous two years as a hard-up student. The abuse all of the team got was immense though, and that's the reason I finally gave the job up.
------------------ Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong.
posted
Orion is right. There are some people here at the University that telemarketing is there last chance at quick cash... Its considered a worse job than McDonald's.
------------------ "I suppose you thought I was dead? No such thing. Don't flatter yourselves that I haven't got my eye upon you. I am wide awake, and you give plenty to look at." Household Words, Aug. 24, 1850 From the Raven in the Happy Family
posted
This happend last week at Michael's house...
MCI: Hello, is Ms. Colorge there?
Me: I'm sorry, who is this?
MCI: This is MCI. Are you interested about switching your long distance carrier?
Me: Well, I'd have to ask her when she gets back from her law office.
MCI: Are you authorized to switch long distance carriers?
Me: How old are you?
MCI: I'm sorry, what did you ask?
Me: How old are you?
MCI: I'm in my 20's. Sir, that doesn't concern about switching to MCI. And how old are you?
Me: I'm 17, and if your lucky, maybe you can convice me over dinner to switch to MCI.
MCI: Ahh, let me transfer you to my manager.
Me: Why? Want a threesome?
MCI: *click*
------------------ Sometimes I run Sometimes I hide Sometimes I'm scared of you But all I really want is to hold you tight Treat you right, be with you day and night Baby all I need is time
-Britney Spears
[This message has been edited by Justin_Timberland (edited January 22, 2000).]
posted
One time my uncle, who was working late nights at the time, got a telemarketer call during the day while he was sleeping. He asked for the telemarketer's home number and said that he would call him back from work when he was on his break. Well, little did the telemarketer know that "work" meant a night shift and the "break" would come at about two or three in the morning. Needless to say, the telemarketer didn't like being awakened by the phone, either. :-)
Oh, and one other thing: "Libraries, football games, and other books for loan/traditional sporting entertainment". Now, unless, Sol was lying in that other thread, he's going to have to lock this one, and that will make him look silly. Let's sit back and see what happens. :-)
------------------ Col. Maybourne: "Teal'c... It's good to see you well." Teal'c: "In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you." -Stargate SG-1: "Touchstone"
posted
*sighs*... well, I have to speak from the other side of the telephone now.... My new Job IS telemarketing. I expect you all to buy newspapers when I call you to try and sell them. I will only accept offers to dinner if Charles or MaGiC are the ones offering.
*poofs back off into oblivion*
------------------ "Permasuck, by Froboz Electric: 'We don't just make things that suck, we make things that suck, PERMANENTLY.'"
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