This is topic My cousin sent me this (Part III) in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

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Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
These, judging from my own experience, have the ring of truth about them.

Squawk Sheets

Squawks" are problem listings that military pilots generally leave for maintenance crews, and are normally accompanied by a response from the maintenance worker once the problem is confirmed and/or fixed.

From the "Squawk Sheets":

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution "#2: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Solution: "IT DOES NOW"

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit"

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "Number three engine missing"
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud"
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

The one about the IFF reminded me of one that I saw early in my career:

Problem: "System does not work in OFFICIAL mode."
Solution: "OFF is not an abbrevialtion."

There has been an alarming increase in the
number of things you know nothing about.

[This message was edited by Baloo on April 15, 1999.]

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
It is. Our Favourite Family.

According to everyone at Alt.Tv.Simpsons that is...

'My rigid grill structure...'

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
Well, I've been around for a few years and I've heard several of these since well before the Simpsons.

Besides, the Simpsons recycles a lot of good folklore that would otherwise disappear forever.

So. What's the deal with the rabbit? I just thought he looked interesting.


Nobody's perfekt.

Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
He means, OFF stands for "The Simpsons." No, really, it does, see his post. The rabbit is Kevin from Kevin and Kell, obviously.

Ultra Magnus: "I've never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy...okay, give me the bomb."

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