Embarrassing Moments in Starfleet History

*TNG: The Child*
Troi: What can only be described as a presence entered my body last night.
Picard: Yes, yes, we know it was Riker.

*DS9: Trials and Tribble-ations*
Kirk: And you are?
Sisko: Benjamin Sisko, sir, and I've just wanted to tell you what an honor it has been to serve on a ship with a white honkey for a captain, a pointy-eared white honkey with green blood, a white honkey with Scotch on his breath, a Japanese guy who wishes he was a white honkey, a white honkey with a bad Russian accent, a really white honkey for a doctor, and one fine black bitch in a minidress!
Kirk: Why, thank you.

*Voyager: Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy*
Doctor: Tuvok! Activate the photonic cannon.
Tuvok: Doctor, this is no time to fantasize about Seven of Nine.

*Generations*
Kirk: I was out saving the galaxy while your great-great grandfather was still wearing diapers.
Picard: Yes, I know. He was one of your bastard children.

*First Contact*
Picard: This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard. I'm taking command of the Fleet.
Com: Like hell you are!
Picard: Mr. Data, identify the source of that transmission.
Data: It is from the USS Saratoga II, holding position in the right wing.
Picard: Picard to Fleet. Target all your weapons on these coordinates and fire on my command.
Data: But sir, this appears to be--
Picard: Trust me, Data. Fire.
Data: The Saratoga II has been destroyed, sir.
Picard: Good. Now, let's worry about the Borg...

*Insurrection*
Picard: How many licks does it take to get the Tootsie Roll center in a Tootsie Pop, Admiral? One? Two? Three? How many, Admiral!?

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693 consecutive rejections by women since January 1993.