This is topic Top Ten Reasons for Being Dutch in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.


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Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
 
http://www.geocities.com/hdfast/funstuff/ned_belg.txt

That's why I'm Dutch

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"Human race in tha house!" KoRn & Kittie, This Town
---
Titan Fleet Yards - Harry Doddema's Star Trek Site


 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Explain how you can be legally killed...

And I've never understood the phneomenon of mocking the Belgians. I first noticed it on Monty Python's Flying Circus. Is there something about Belgium that I don't know?

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"If the rope is a quarter of a Zeuslength in size, then the Defiant shalt most naturally be seven times the thirty-second part of a Zeuslength?"
-Boris Skrbic, 27-Sep-2000
 


Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :
 
BELGIANS!??!

*clears throat, and spits*
*does it again*

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Remember December '59
The howling wind and the driving rain,
Remember the gallant men who drowned
On the lifeboat, Mona was her name.



 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
See? That's exactly what I'm on about. I don't think anyone even knows why they do it...

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"If the rope is a quarter of a Zeuslength in size, then the Defiant shalt most naturally be seven times the thirty-second part of a Zeuslength?"
-Boris Skrbic, 27-Sep-2000
 


Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :
 
PEOPLE FROM CHILE?

::Spits::
Disgusting.


GO BIGOTRY!!!!!!!

WEEEHA!!!

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"...you know, Omega, there's a phrase you might want to look up. It goes something like "paranoid arrogant fuckwit who has more chance of ejaculating to the moon than he has of ever convincing a girl that he's a viable prospect for marriage." -PsyLiam, September 16, 2000 10:23 PM.

 


Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
I imagine it's just because Belgium is funny to say. Plus, it's like, not even a real country. That Belgian guy from the Young Indiana Jones show was just French. Inspector Poirot? Same thing.

When they were drawing up the official map of Europe, they had some space left over, essentially. This also explains Lichenstein, Andorra, and everything east of Berlin.

"Poland? Sure, why the hell not?"

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love's function is to fabricate unknownnness
--
E. E. Cummings
****
Read chapter one of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet"! And party everyday.

 


Posted by Michael Dracon (Member # 4) on :
 
I'm Dutch and I'm proud of it!
Great list Prakesh

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Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God. *And*, if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out!

- Commander Susan Ivanova, Babylon 5
 


Posted by Alpha Centauri (Member # 338) on :
 
That always warms the heart of a Dutchman!

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"And as we all know, a mesolytic quantumvector resonator is commonly
used to polarize isogravitic plasma-flux manifolds."

Starfleet Academy's Redshirt Guide to the Starfleet, 62nd edition,
2376.
 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
I have a bit of Dutch ancestry on both sides of my family. Do I count as being Dutch? :-)

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"If the rope is a quarter of a Zeuslength in size, then the Defiant shalt most naturally be seven times the thirty-second part of a Zeuslength?"
-Boris Skrbic, 27-Sep-2000
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
No.

Thank god.

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"Why do you want to spend time with a deer? They're so stupid, they get hypnotized by headlights!" - Guido Anchovy



 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
The Dutch have to be cool. They are responsible for most of the development of Western New York, especially Batavia, where I'm from.

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Intelligence, Integrity, Responsibility.
Vote Bush/Cheney 2000


 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
*figures it out* Apparently, I'm 3/32 Dutch (about 9.4%). But, so far as I know, I'm not Belgian, which should make everyone happy. But I am an uncertain fraction Welsh, which I've gathered is held in about the same regard.

Oh, yeah. I'm also part French. And part Irish-Catholic. I can already hear everyone getting ready to beat me... *L*

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"If the rope is a quarter of a Zeuslength in size, then the Defiant shalt most naturally be seven times the thirty-second part of a Zeuslength?"
-Boris Skrbic, 27-Sep-2000
 


Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
 
Maybe you'd like to know that New York began as Nieuw (=New) Amsterdam. So, if the Dutch had just been a little more aggresve back then, you would all be speaking Dutch!

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"Human race in tha house!" KoRn & Kittie, This Town
---
Titan Fleet Yards - Harry Doddema's Star Trek Site


 


Posted by The Talented Mr. Gurgeh (Member # 318) on :
 
"And part Irish-Catholic."
Catholicism isn't an ethnic group. Just being pedantic.

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"Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
When I said I'd like to smash every tooth
In your head"
Bigmouth Strikes Again- The Smiths



 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Gurgeh: Yes, I know that. But my Irish ancestors were Catholics, and those seem to be the ones that are less well-liked. Hell, they had to emigrate to Canada and later move to Michigan, apparently because the US wasn't letting Catholics through over at Ellis Island and such.

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"If the rope is a quarter of a Zeuslength in size, then the Defiant shalt most naturally be seven times the thirty-second part of a Zeuslength?"
-Boris Skrbic, 27-Sep-2000
 


Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :
 

AH! DUTCH! ME DUTCH! Let's show what the intellectual Dutchman thinks (grin)

1 You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.

*In short: the current law is insufficient, and don't expect anyone to take seriously such an ambiguous law. Either legalize, or don't. I say legalize.

2 You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.

*Belgium jokes are just the Dutch way of feeling better about yourself. Most are about how stupid Belgians are, yet many Belgians I meet seem much more intelligent. Secretly, Belgians think we're arrogant. And they're right. They pretend they like us though.

3 a. You can legally kill yourself

*Um, yes. Unless you consider suicide a crime??! Do people consider this a crime?

b. You can legally be killed

*Ah. Euthanasia. Great thing. Unless you want people to suffer against their will. I've heard many people use euthanasia as a synonym for killing old ladies. Pity.

4 You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.

Germans are more conservative on average, and they wear funny glasses. Not only that, they also ruin our beaches by digging pits. I'm still waiting for my grandfather's bike to return. I actually meant the first two statements.

5 You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen
is your capital...

*The Dutch overestimate themselves so much. True.

6 You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national
tradition.

*Are we talking about Zwarte Piet? I liked him as a kid. This does, however, not mean it's good. It just shows how easily children are influenced and that's NOT a good thing. I can safely say though that it did by no means make me racist.

7 You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country

*That story is only told to children to show them how those silly Americans see us. In fact, it was written by an American :]

8 You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still
you've never seen your neighbours.

*True. But in the larger cities you can't understand them either, unless you speak Arab.

9 If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame
the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.

I blame the Euro for the economy. The Germans did not start the great war. The majority of the Germans did not want a second world war. The majority of the Germans I know are likable people. Even if they wear funny glasses.

10 Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.

I had three stolen from under my ass already. True.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN

1 You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.

Most flemish soeakers are better at Dutch than Dutchmen. Although of course this is mainly because they detest French.

2 If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your
country.

Hey, it's the Northern entrance to France. What did you expect? Besides, after the war it boosts tourism.

3 You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.

I don't get this? Fruit beer?

4 You are either
a. like the Dutch, just less efficient
b. like the French, just less romantic
c. like the Germans

5 Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer.

And dark-haired godesses. Did I just say that?

6 No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and
they make fun of you.

Um.. that's true.

7 More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.

That IS true.

8 You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares

9 All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders

Hey! Who invented Bakelite? Who invented the saxophone? Who invented the.. er..

10 Face it. It's not really a country, is it?

It is. But never forget it used to be part of the Netherlands. Mwahahaha *(megalo)manic laughter*

 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
The Belgians invented French fries, too, but nobody acknowledges it (hence, "French" fries...), so maybe it doesn't count.

And, yes, suicide is illegal in, I know, at least parts of the US. Maybe the whole country; I don't know. I hate to even imagine what the idiot who came up w/ that was thinking...

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"If the rope is a quarter of a Zeuslength in size, then the Defiant shalt most naturally be seven times the thirty-second part of a Zeuslength?"
-Boris Skrbic, 27-Sep-2000
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Cue poor jokes about attemted suicide getting you the death penalty, and we're in for a fun evening of laughs and cake.

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"Why do you want to spend time with a deer? They're so stupid, they get hypnotized by headlights!" - Guido Anchovy



 


Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :
 
*giggles like a girl over the finger in dyke thingy*

------------------
Remember December '59
The howling wind and the driving rain,
Remember the gallant men who drowned
On the lifeboat, Mona was her name.



 


Posted by The Talented Mr. Gurgeh (Member # 318) on :
 
Yep, I can vouch for that. Gaseous Anomaly does actually giggle like a girl.

Finger in the dyke. Oh, now I get it.

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"Unleash the armageddon,
So all the children go to heaven"

"Blue Skies Bring Tears"-The Smashing Pumpkins.



 




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