Ex girlfriend asks me to do a critical favour for her involving long lineups at federal building. The thing is, where I am going, lineups usually abound after 10:00am. So the objective was to get there between 8-9am. However, in order to do this favour, I have to meet her first at her company, which is clear across town. The federal office in question is in the northern middle part of the city.
6:30am: Get up. Realize that I tossed and turned last night, so while I went to bed at around 12am the night before, I didn't actually fall asleep until 2:30am.
7:00am: After a few snooze button hits, I finally manage to drag my sorry butt to the shower.
7:30am: Decide that cereal and milk won't cut it to me this morning. Get into my 1996 Pontiac Sunfire. Off to the local McDonalds to get a Sausage Egg with a Large Hot Chocolate.
7:40am: Drive to McDonalds on my way to the expressway. Seems that the girls there are already prepared for me (I'm what they call a regular visitor). So once I get in, the cup is in the Hot Chocolate maker, and the girl is already fetching my Sausage egg and Hash Brown. I fetch my cash, pick up my grub. Time of transaction: 73 seconds.
8:20am: Get to ex's place of work, only to realize that she is in a different office today. No worries, this office is not too far away. Notice that Oil light is on.
8:30am: Meet Ex. She gives me required documents, as well as drivers licence and citizenship card, with instructions to return them ASAP since she needs to drive home. I make wry remark about walking home, after all, it is an hour walk home (which isn't THAT bad). Fill up oil with tank dad gave to me when I got the car.
9:00am: Reach Federal building. Start lining up to check in and to get a number te served (yes, thats right, line up to check in and get a number). Decide time is right to finish off my Sausage egg.
10:00am: Finish first lineup. Fetch seat next to wall. Feeling tired, cecide to conk out for awhile. My number is 145, they are at 88. Out of sixteen booths available, only 6 are filled. Lineups, another fancy word for Beaurocracy.
11:30am: I wake up after a nice nap. They are now at number 131. Wait patiently for my turn.
12:00am: My number is in. Spend a good hour haggling with federal beaurocrat, after all, it isn't my ex at the building with these documents. Finally manage to see the damn transaction through. Recover her Drivers Licence and Citizenship card.
1:00pm: Proceed back to her second office.
1:30pm: Meet her in the back of the building. Fetch her belongings in the car and prepare to give them back to her. Open the door, lock it, then shut it. With the keys in the ignition.
DAMMIT.
I give Ex her licence and card, but she has a meeting to go to, so she can't help out. She does know a friend with the CAA so she could ask for some help, maybe a truck with a SlimJim. Notice that it is beginning to rain.
1:45pm: Begin pacing around. It is beginning to rain more and more, and I recalled hearing a forecast saying it was just about to get a lot COLDER. Oh boy. Flag down a truck. Explain situation to driver. He can't help, he doesn't know how. Oh well. Realize that my cellphone is also in the car, so ex can't contact me, nor can I contact her.
2pm: Notice someone dumping trash at a nearby building. Ask him for a tool to allow me to get into my car. Goes into his building, then comes out with a very large flathead screwdriver. Instructs me to pry down the window wide enough to get my arm in. Unfortunately, the driver's side car window does not work they way he thought it would work.
2:10pm: He comes back with a flat piece of steel, bent into a hook. If I could wedge that hook in and snag the lock, then I could get in. Only thing is that the hook is too wide for me to get it wedged in. Decide to try the other way, to see if I could push the lock open with the other end, but realize that the rod is too flexible. I need something a little more rigid.
2:20pm: A door repair truck pulls out. I explain the situation to the two men. While one goes about his business, the other looks at my car to ascertain the situation. I explain to him that I need a rigid piece of metal to push the lock into unlocking position. He produces such a rod, then as he pries the window slightly open with the screwdriver, I insert the rod then try to push it to the lock.
2:30pm: After a few attempts, the lock flips open. The door is unlocked, and I'm in my car. Profusely thank the two men. They refuse any payment, so I leave them my number and tell them they can contact me if they have any computer problems. Return the flathead and the other piece of metal to the other company (which turns out to be a tool and die store). Again, profusely thank them, offer to pay, they refuse, leave them my number.
2:45: Contact ex. She was able to find someone who could help, but since I am now in my car, everything is fine. She calls coworker, telling him everything is ok. She then tells me that she will call me for dinner at a later date, for services performed this morning.
Ugh, what a day. Worse off, this could all be easier if I had auto roadside service on my cell. Then I would have called them (even on a different phone) to have them help me out in a shorter period of time. With the age of my car, I could be calling them for other situations, like, being stuck in the middle of the highway....
You live, you learn.
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
This is why I never lock my car.
If they see somthing they want they can just open the door thus sparing me the broken glass and them the possibility of getting cut. Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Moral of the story: never do your ex-girlfriend ANY favors unless she wants you back. Oh, and bring a spare set of keys. B)
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
Sounds like she used some kind of hypno-beam on you to make you lock your keys in the car.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
I always make sure to put my key on my belt buckle while still sitting in the car before I even bother to open the door and get out.
Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
Or lock the doors with the key.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Interesting concept, Harry, but I don't think it'll catch on... Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Thats why they invented power locks, Harry. Hit the lock button, close the door, walk away, it locks itself and honks 5 seconds later.
Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
I once thought that I locked my keys in the truck. Myself and two friends were in another city, going into a store. At the time, I was storing all my stuff (keys, wallet, phone) in the pouch of my sweater, but this particular instance I had clipped the keys to my belt loop. Gave us quite the scare. Have yet to actually lock my keys in a vehicle, though. *knocks on wood*
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Wait, "power locks" allow you to lock all the doors in the car from the driver's side door without a key, and people think this is a good idea?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Well, people who don't lock their keys in their car.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Wait, "power locks" allow you to lock all the doors in the car from the driver's side door without a key, and people think this is a good idea?
It's convenient. People will risk much for convenience.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Like trying to get an ex back. You won't have to learn anything new. Though you also won't experience anything new...
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
I'm amazed at how quickly I got used to just zapping my car. It's a nifty little gadget, and, to paraphrase Lt. Reed, it has two settings, Lock and Unlock. Simple. So long as my zapper doesn't do like the Phase Pistols and I discover a magical cutting beam that slices the car in half, I'm happy. 8)
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Well, that's what I was thinking. Zapping a car locked is already pretty convenient. I don't see how it's MORE convenient to put your keys away before you get out of the car.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Well, if you get it just right, you can hop out the car, and make a Jedi hand gesture that locks the car (surreptitiously using your other hand to press the button of the zapper in your pocket). Oh, I'm easily amused. . . Ooh! Shiny!
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
That's not power locks. Power locks is having a button on your car door to lock the car, instead of having to use the key or push the little locking knob on the top of the door down.
The thing Lee is describing is a Fob, its buttons on the actual key that transmit a signal to the car to lock the doors.
I don't have a Fob, but I have power locks. Like I said, I have a button on my car that if I press once, will give a 10 second delay (allowing me to grab anything and shut the door) before locking, or if I press it twice is just locks right then and there.
I only put my keys on my beltloop before getting out of the car just to make sure I actually have the keys. That, and its annoying to try and walk around and get the key attached to my belt loop at the same time.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
My old Cavalier had no power locks. I managed to lock my keys in the car with the keys in the ignition twice. I also managed to lock my keys in the trunk once. My Saturn has power locks. I've yet to lock them in the car. The main reason is I only use the power locks to unlock the doors, and I use the remote to lock the car up.
And thus, convenience has saved me from ever again to experience the wrath of my mother hearing me yell "shit!" upon my realization of my having locked the keys in the car.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
So, how did you lock your keys in your car? Don't most old cars not allow you to lock the front driver door by pushing down the knob while the door is open (to prevent you from locking your keys in, presumably).
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I've never seen a car door lock operate how you've just described, Liam. With my Cavalier, the inside door locks were just above the door handle, and the locks were the horizontal sliding type. There was no knob that sat near the window for pushing in and pulling out. And I locked my keys in the car because something happened that upset the thoughtless rhythm I normally had when exiting my vehicle.
Locking my keys in the trunk was another matter. I was parked outside the band hall and was running late getting to a pep rally. I had the trunk open and was pulling my trumpet out of the case. I put set the keys in the case as I pulled out my music, shut the case, and closed the trunk. Realizing what I did, I said, "Oh, shit!" And dear mommy was standing behind me. This wouldn't have been a problem if I had an interior trunk release or fold-down back seats. I have forgotten to lock my doors that day.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Yeah, I know the sort of locks you had. My brother had them too. And you couldn't lock the driver door one's while the door was open.
Actually, almost every non central locking car I've ever seen doesn't allow you to lock the driver's side door using the indoor lock while the door is open. Surely the super advanced US would have had this feature in it's cars too. Or was it declared unconstitutional?
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
It's an American's right to lock his car however he wants, and who are you to say any different? Go back to Russia, pinko!
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
::shrug:: All I know, Liam, is that every car I've driven or riden in has had the ability to lock the driver-side door while the door is open.
Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
quote:Originally posted by PsyLiam: So, how did you lock your keys in your car? Don't most old cars not allow you to lock the front driver door by pushing down the knob while the door is open (to prevent you from locking your keys in, presumably).
The design of the door is like this. On top of the door handle is the lock itself. How one would lock their door is to simply pull the door handle to open the door, then, while your hand is still on the handle, push the lock into the locking position with the ball of your hand. I am always used to locking the door every time I leave any car. And thus led me to my predicament yesterday.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
All I know, Liam, is that every car I've driven or riden in has had the ability to lock the driver-side door while the door is open.
My '96 Accord won't let you use the driver's side power locks with the car off and the door open unless you're holding the handle open.
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
Omega~
That can be changed - take off your door panels and screw with the locking mechanism a bit... it'll be like a whole new lock when you're done!
My Civic was like your accord 'til they "fixed" the door after the car wreck.... the thing never locked the same again
~Liz
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
My '88 CRX is like that (except no power locks). The lock is a switch right by the door handle, and you can't use it to lock the open driver's door, unless you're pulling on the handle at the same time. Of course, the way it's designed, it's very simple to pull the handle and flip the switch with one hand at the same time. So if, for some strange reason, I would ever turn off the car and not immediately pull the keys out, I'd probably lock them in.
Posted by Toadkiller (Member # 425) on :
We're letting this whole car key thing steer us off target here. The real question is what sort of dirt an ex-girlfriend must have on you to get you to run convoluted boring errands for them that end up requiring you to borrow car theft tools from strangers...
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by the Omeganator My '96 Accord won't let you use the driver's side power locks with the car off and the door open unless you're holding the handle open.
quote:Originally posted by Princess Pleh My Civic was like your accord 'til they "fixed" the door after the car wreck.... the thing never locked the same again
quote:Originally posted by Goatee Boy My '88 CRX is like that (except no power locks).
Call me crazy, but I'm seeing a trend here.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Yes. Americans driving Hondas. Will wonders never cease? B)
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
No, I mean Hondas having funky door locks.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
On the flip side, all of the GM cars my family has owned (Alero, Grand Prix, Bravada, Suburban) all have power locks and all have two settings, the "hit twice, locks automatically, even when door is open" and the "hit once, close door, it locks in 10 seconds".
One annoying thing on the Alero is that if you stop the car and put it into Park, yet leave it running, both doors remain locked. So if I'm picking someone up I always forget to hit the unlock button and they're standing at the door annoyed because it wont open...
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Our Land Rover zapper locks the car with one press, the other button unlocks the driver door on first press, the rest of the doors on the second press. Supposed to be a security feature apparently, so you can get in just your door and then hastily lock it in case someone else is trying to gain entry. Useful in dark empty car parks I guess. There's also a central door-locking button inside. But it's located on a panel with the switches for the front windows, the sunroof, and the rear window, so the chances of hitting the right button in a hurry are slim. . .
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Maybe there should just be a piece of software installed that lets you control all those options independently. Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Just buy a gun. If some fuck wants in, he'll go through your driver's side window.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cartman: Yes. Americans driving Hondas. Will wonders never cease? B)
Well, it is contrary to the regulations laid down in the Department of Homeland Security's new pamphlet "Why no-one should ever buy non-American products unless they like being hanged, drawn and quartered". Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Except most of the stuff in Hondas sold here is actually built in America. Honda is the 5th largest American automaker now, and closing quickly on 4th (DaimlerChrysler).
Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
About the GM products thing: My girlfriend's family owns a 98 Jimmy, and she only has to press the lock button on the fob once and all the doors and the hatch locks. Press it again and the horn honks. The same thing happens with our '01 Focus. Hit the lock button on the fob once and the doors lock and the signal lights flash. Hit it again and the lights flash again and the horn honks. I've never experienced any of the funky locking situations before on any vehicle we've owned, however we've always had Fords so that may be why. Although one funky locking feature that the Focus has is that if all the doors are locked and either the driver or the front passenger locks the door, the rear doors lock as well. Also the Focus has automatic locks so that when the car is put in motion for about 5 seconds or so the doors lock.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
My car doesn't even have electric locks, let alone remote-controlled ones. Woo.
Posted by Peregrinus (Member # 504) on :
You can install them easily enough. With options factory-standard remote-locking mechanisms often lack. Like one door or the other, rather than just all. Like opening the boot/trunk, or one of the doors, or remote ignition if you've an automatic transmission...
--Jonah
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Of course, it's probably not worth the money, unless you're just that lazy.
Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
Well, one thing I've found really handy is if I have an armful of items headed for the trunk of the car, it makes things easier to press a button on the fob and unlock the trunk so I can just swing it open and load the stuff in.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
If you hold down the unlock button on our fobs, it drops the rear window down - useful if you don't have room to swing the tailgate open where you're parked. 8)
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
My car doesn't even lock....
The windows don't roll up all the way anymore either....
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Gosh, how authentic. Does it sit in the front yard, up on bricks, surrounded by rubbish, as well? 8)
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Nerds!
(The inside panels on my door are only attached at the bottom, and swing open whenever the doors are shut with anything resembling force.)
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
*shakes head* That just would not suffice in my world.
I went into a huge stress-out frenzy the other day just because my heater wasn't working right. I'm serious, I love my car and if ANYTHING isn't working right, I stress. Luckily the problem was resolved quickly - the boy that worked on my car at the stereo shop last (who was NOT my normal installer, might I add) forgot to hook up one of the plugs for the heater when he put the dash back together. Not acceptable, but being fixed today by my normal installer, so all will be right with the world again.
I can't handle mechanical or cosmetic problems with my car... just can't.... *shudder*
~LOA
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Well, Eastern Washington in winter is not a good time and place to be without your heater. Not good at all.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Yes. Why, it'd be like living in a third world country, where they have real problems.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
By "heater" you mean "gun" right?
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
My heater is still not fixed, for the record. And it's COLD. And foggy.
I need to get it in, but with all that's going on in the family right now.........
Well, it may be a while.......... *shrug* Oh, well.... I'll survive... in the grand scheme of things, it's just a little problem... but right now, when there's a whirlwind of things going on around me that I have NO control over, it's killing me to have this little thing going on on top of it......................
Sorry.... I may be depressed.... I'll get over it........ move along, people. Nothing to see here......
~LOA
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Well, having so many periods can't be doing your mood much good.
(And if that wasn't wit, I don't know what is.)
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
Oh my gawd.... I can't believe you sait that..... *L*
*shakes head* Don't you know better than to blame a woman's bad mood on her period?? Even if you feel there WAS evidence
~LOA
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Evidence like...no, let's not go there.
Besides, I did know that. I just chose to ignore it.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
SHE'S BLEEDING FROM HER NAUGHTY HOLE!!!111
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by The359: SHE'S BLEEDING FROM HER NAUGHTY HOLE!!!111
This is going to give me nightmares tonight. You punk.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Periods are great, for two reasons; #1, condom goes out the window, and #2 giving tummy-rubs will never be more appreciated.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Note to self: Nim is unclean.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nim: Periods are great, for two reasons; #1, condom goes out the window...
Along with (and I pray to all form's of God that ever, have ever, and will ever exist) that sex goes right out with it.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
That's really quite an archaic attitude, to think that the sole purpose of a condom is to prevent pregnancy.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Lee's correct. It's to prevent your wee-wee from getting any santorum on it during anal sex.
::shudder:: I feel so dirty now.
Posted by Peregrinus (Member # 504) on :
*twitch*
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
One would hope that Nim was referring to a trusted (and/or screened) sexual partner, and not suggesting that his favorite pickup line is "if you're raggin', I'm shaggin'".
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
But still, doing it when stuff less pleasant than The Matrix: Revolutions is coming out of the woman is just, well, more sick and wrong than, er, The Matrix: Reloaded.
Or, to put it in more coarse language:
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww."
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Be glad he didn't say he was performing cunnilingus on her...
(dammit, now I feel dirty too...I second that 'Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww')
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Lap...lap....slurp!
Nothing like your cowgirl ridin' the cotton pony!
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
*rolls eyes*
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
I had that coming, I'll admit.
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
Ummmmm..... note to all, I'm NOT on my period..... and can I just say "Ick"?
Pleh.
And, BTW, my heater is fixed.... praise the car stereo gods..... I love my installer.... I'll never let another man touch my car again.........
~LOA
Posted by Peregrinus (Member # 504) on :
...That's not a veiled sexual reference, is it...?
--Jonah
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
I could see "heater" being a veilled refrence ....but car!?!
That's just wrong.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Santorum? Isn't that an island in Greece?
Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
Oh, oh! I know this one. As I recall, there was a poll among some community that ended up naming the...mess...after anal sex after some authority figure or something.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Most disturbing thread ever?
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
I think a listener of Bob & Tom put it best when he wrote in that he had been watched Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, and at the same time his wife was on her period. She happened to go to the bathroom and not flush (ugh...) and he noticed that what he saw in the toilet looked a lot like the food that had been thrown to the sharks on TV. So from now on, that family refers to that time of the month as "Shark Week".
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
TSN: "One would hope that Nim was referring to a trusted (and/or screened) sexual partner"
Huh? TSN giving me credit? What about the space/time continuum??? Re: partner, yes of course. At least here in Sweden, these issues are a mutual obligation in a relationship, it helps tremendously to be on the same level with eachother. They teach us that in 9th grade biology, for crying out loud.
Psyliasm: "But still, doing it when stuff less pleasant than The Matrix: Revolutions is coming out of the woman is just, well, more sick and wrong than, er, The Matrix: Reloaded."
That's prudish and oldfashioned. If it's that big of a problem just take a pre-shower both of you and you won't tell the difference. It's called improvising. Jeez.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by Topher: Oh, oh! I know this one. As I recall, there was a poll among some community that ended up naming the...mess...after anal sex after some authority figure or something.
Note: If you're squeamish about where this post is going to go, I'd advise you to skip to the next one. This ain't gonna be pretty.
Actually, santorum was a humor columnist's response to the flap that Senator Santorum (R-PA) got into a while back. I want to say the columnist's name was Dave Barry, but I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, the mess Santorum got into was that, during the US Supreme Court's hearings on the Texas Homosexual Sodomy Law, Santorum said that if we allowed homosexual sexual intercourse, then we'd have to allow bestiality, incest, etc. because, (sarcasm) obviously, they are all the same thing. The result of the poll of his readers by the columnist was that santorum would from here on be the descriptor of the mixture of lubrication and fecal matter that occurs with anal intercourse.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
I have deep misgivings about saying this, but. . . on the few occasions I have done. . . I never noticed any. . . oh, God. . . 'fecal matter.' Not that I looked too closely, I was afraid I might and it'd put me off doing it ever again.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
I'll just say that I agree with Lee. I dunno. Maybe some people are just naturally... um... cleaner. Back there. Yes.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Woah woah woah woah...Tim has done Anal sex?
He has just got 7 billion points off of me.
Nim: It's not prudish. Well, maybe it is. But it's still a bit "ewww". And feeling a bit "ewww" is not really conductive to good sex.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
These "points" you speak of... Are they redeemable for goods and services? Have I gained 7 billion of anything at all desireable?
And is that American billions, or British billions?
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
But it's still a bit "ewww". And feeling a bit "ewww" is not really conductive to good sex.
Now, Liam, when you say "good sex", you do mean sex that involves more than one person, right?
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Really good sex shouldn't have an "ewww." I've done loads of things that previously I might have thought "ewww" of, but gone ahead and and done them in the heat of passion. Kinda removes the whole "ewww" factor from whatever act it was.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I am so sorry I brought this up. I am so, so sorry.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
No you're not. You evil bastard.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Welcome one and all, to the thread of sexual perversions...!
Brought to you by: Siegfried A grant from the American Health Association Public Broadcasting People like you
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
I have grown weary of Dr. Pepper brand soda.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
You shouldn't use it as a lubricant then.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Have you tried Kvass? It's on my international beverage "to do" list. I hear it's great. In the same sense that period sex can be great phys. therapy for girls who feel uptight during their period. Made her toes curl and eyes roll over white, mm-mmm.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Tim: I think the American billions has become standard here too, to avoid confusion.
But still...I am really tempted to use an emoticon. Probably this one: O_O
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Once again, I am so sorry I brought this up. I am so, so sorry. I am so, so very sorry.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"O_O"
Open mind, open colon?
Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 250) on :
@Siggi: Sorry? Why? You have helped create a really interesting thread about everyone's favorite pastime...
By the way, to anyone who feels "unclean" at the thought of it...:
ANAL SEX IS GREAT! And if you are uncertain about that "Greek island" thing...just make sure you get a decent BJ afterwards...
God, how I love being a sick pervert. Just ask my 13-year-old loveslave... Posted by Tora Regina (Member # 53) on :
And if you are uncertain about that "Greek island" thing...just make sure you get a decent BJ afterwards...
Okay, now even I'm going "eeeeewwwww...."
Posted by Capped in Mic (Member # 709) on :
i only own maroon sheets.
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
Indeed.
You Learn.
Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
*glances over last three pages... runs away*
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
quote:Originally posted by Austin Powers: ANAL SEX IS GREAT!
Giving or receiving?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
We've always been taught, 'tis better to give than to receive. This holdiay season, give that special someone the gift she'd really love.
Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 250) on :
Agreed, I was talking about giving of course. Must be because I am a rather giving person... Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
The hilarity.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Sodom Hussein, the golden calf.
Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 250) on :
No, twisted German sense of humor... [:-P]
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)