This is topic Four Weddings and a Funeral (without the weddings) in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.


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Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
 
My grandfather passed away today.

9am... natural causes, no one saw it coming. He was turning 70 in a week. My dad was going to take him to lunch for his birthday. It would have been the first time they ever spent time together, just being with eachother.

My family sucks. I know that now is not the time to harbor resentment, but I can't seem to help it. Growing up, I was never allowed to associate with my dad's side of the family, so I missed out on a lot of getting to know them. It has only been in the last several years since I've moved out that I have been able to get to know my grandparents at all, and even that isn't a lot.

One thing I did recently come to realize though - they love me, no matter what, and they would do anything for me.

My mom's side of the family has all but disowned me, but my grandma and grandpa on Dad's side would never have done it.

My grandpa was a cranky old man. Angry, bitter, even prone to moments of abusiveness when he was younger. I'm not going to paint a picture of perfection or try to put him on a pedestal. But in the last 5 years, since he was forced into retirement, he had changed so much.... a year ago, he was diagnosed with Parkinsons.... it aged him quickly, but he was still considered healthy, and my grandfather had become so sensitive and loving..... I'm glad to have that memory of him to be left with. I saw him just last night... he was tickled to see me, but because of working, I got to Thanksgiving dinner just as everyone was leaving..... he told me how beautiful and grown up I looked. And I'll never see him again.

The news came to me at work today, and it's got me really messed up... I've never taken anything so hard in my life, and it's only going to get harder....... my family is having to all come together for the funeral. It's going to be bloody warfare. It always is with my family. And this will be the first time we're all together EVER as far back as I can remember...

Funny thing is, everyone was going to come together next June for my grandparent's 50th anniversary. I was dreading it, so much fighting has been done already......

Nothing like speeding up the inevitable though....

I tell you all of this because I'm a wreck, and I just need to get it out.

Now, I need to sleep....... the morning will come soon, and I'm going to need my energy to face another day......

~LOA
 

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Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
I'm so sorry, Liz.
 

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Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
 
Sorry for your loss.
Just do your best and be there for your grandma.
She'll need you now.
 

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Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
 
Sucks that even the death of a family member doesn't make people realize life's too short for petty
bickering... and that someone always has to rekindle the same old damn feuds.

Sorry, LOA.
 

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Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
 
Very sorry, take care of yourself.
 

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Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
 
Family feuds suck. No matter what the cause. My family is 1/2 FanaticalBibleNutz(TM) and the other 1/2 is Greedy Jewish Lawyers. Don't ask me how the heck they got together in the first place.

Imagain the feuds that result from this.

I feel for ya, LOA. So close to the holidays too.
 

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Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
 
I'm sorry for your loss, LOA. Perhaps this presents your family a good opportunity to put the past behind them. This ought to be a time for coming together.

Depending on the circumstances, it doesn't always work like that, though. My mother still won't speak to her brother after the inheritance fiasco following her mother's death. As a result I hardly know that side of the family at all. Seeing that ugliness, my sister and I have resolved that we will never let ourselves be like that. And maybe that's all you really can do.
 

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Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
 
Good luck Liz!
 

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Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
 
Everyone is in town now.... everyone.... and it's getting so ugly... and I'm so in the middle.... I've been chewed out by my mom already, and I upset her by visiting my aunt today, so she's going to chew me out again tommorrow. She is PISSED. Like, I'm probably going to have to find a new place to live, pissed (I currently rent a house from my parents.)

*shakes head* It's just so awful.... and I've never cried so much in my life... I pride myself in being strong and never crying, but this is just too much...... I just don't know what to do.....

Really, I need a hug.... but my family doesn't touch or hug at all, so that's not an option, and my friends are all out of town for the time being.... it's just so much, and it's happening so fast......... I just wanna curl up in a ball and not wake up until it's all over........................

~LOA
 

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Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
Yikes. I am really sorry; this sounds like a horrible situation. It's good that you've cried. You're not penting up all of your emotions. You said all your friends are out of town; can you call any of them? It may not have the safety and reassurance of a hug, but just talking to one of them can help out a bunch.

You feel that your mom may throw you out of your house, but do you think there's any chance of talking it out with her when things have calmed down a bit? How's your dad on this, could he be a calming influence on your mom? I don't know anything about your family life, so I apologize if I've said something inappropriate.

Regardless, I wish for you the strength to get through this. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
 

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Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by LOA:

Really, I need a hug.... but my family doesn't touch or hug at all, so that's not an option, and my friends are all out of town for the time being....

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