Listen up. The old one is not really the greatest. So, you know, do that thing, I guess, with the suggestions.
BUT. GROUND RULES.
I will pick the best, which is to say the one that most appeals to my own tastes. If nothing meets my high and yet mysterious, perhaps even contradictory, standards, I will choose nothing, and you'll all be stuck with, I don't know, a quotation from Sealab or something, suitably modified maybe. ("Forum ten is jerks!")
So get cracking, you mad and miserable geniuses.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
Forum 10 is jerks.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"The Lounge at the end of the internet."
"You can log out any time you like, but you can never leave..."
"No-one here is exactly what he appears..."
"Mathematicians have long held that a million monkeys banging on a million keyboards would eventually reproduce the collected wisdom of the human race, but now, thanks to the Lounge, we know this is not true."
"NOW, HERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WITH THE WORST SENSES OF HUMOR ON THE PLANET EARTH GOOD LORD"
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Clever forum descriptions are for twats.
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
A forum less ordinary
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
For all your communist needs.
Posted by deadcujo (Member # 13) on :
"Tell my life I said 'hello'".
Posted by Daryus Aden (Member # 12) on :
"Home of the pisspots"
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Hello, hello, is there anybody in there, just nod if you can hear me..... P. Floyd
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
"You can log out any time you like, but you can never leave..."
No Eagles.
"All your lounge are belong to us"
No Zero Wing. Because what is this, two hundred years ago? They played Zero Wing in Tsarist Russia.
"The horror! The horror!"
I would consider an entry that somehow reworked the whole "Are you an assassin?" exchange.
"The Man-Train stops here."
OK, nothing from the 20th Century.
"Dude, where's your life?"
Veto.
"A forum less ordinary"
Also unacceptable: Flarespotting.
"For all your communist needs."
Surprisingly appealing. 19th Century references are OK.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
This from a guy who won't admit to classic film actresses being sexy You'd probably stand in the Louvre and say out loud "She's smiling like that because her teeth are rotten!" or something.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
I do not recall this being put to the test. Uh, that lady in Rear Window was hot. Though I am sure she is a corpse now. Also I hear it is totally Da Vinci in a dress.
Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :
"This is not akb1979's personal computer support forum."
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
"My god, it's full of dorks."
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
BX's one is perfect for the Tech Forum. . . Weird. Half my earlier message vanished.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"All in all it's just a... 'nother brick in the wall."
"One flew east, one flew west..."
"The Lounge, the Universe and Everything."
"So long, and thanks for all the posts!"
"The other white forum."
"You want to go home and rethink your life."
"Reflection. Surprise. Terror. For the future."
"Its origin and purpose, still a total mystery."
"I organized a contest and all I got was this lousy forum description."
"Unfortunately, no-one can be told what the Lounge is. You have to see it for yourself."
"Bad food. Brutal discipline. No women."
"It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross, but it's not for the timid."
"You are about to move into areas of the board containing wonders more incredible than you can possibly imagine... and terrors to freeze your soul."
"A domain of evil it is. In you must go."
"Ninety percent of this forum is half mental."
"These are Sol System's quarters. This is Sol System's Lounge. This is Sol System's description. What part of this progression escapes you?"
"The forum where normal things don't happen... very often."
No, but nothing from the 20th century? That is, like, all I know, dude. And the 19th was just no fun AT ALL YOU SADISTIC PRICK I DON'T GET YOU.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"The other white forum."
I don't think everything has to have "forum" or "post" inserted into it. We just just make it "The other white meat.". For that little extra absurdity.
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
"For those who don't want a real life, come inside"
"Grr... another technofreak complaining about his hardware and lack of a sex life"
"This is an equal opportunity place for complaining... welcome"
"One topic, two digressions, three complainers... just a typical 24 hours here."
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
No 1970s prog. That way lies dark things like "25 or 6 to 4-um."
(It is more fun to say no to things, but despite being angry and discouraging, I do not really want to discourage people. I mean, unless they're dumb.)
Posted by Daryus Aden (Member # 12) on :
"Where good curry is not forbidden"
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
"Look on our work, ye mighty, and despair."
"Inhale the stench that makes the whole world wail."
"What a piece of work is the man-train..."
And just beecause it came to mind, sucky as it is: "Take thy beak from out my heart and take thy forum from off my door."
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
Turnips, Curry, Nerds... Oh my!
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
"Nerds, dorks, Trekkies... lend me your ears."
"Countless hours online lead me to this."
"Hey, why bother being in a relationship when you have this."
"It's a splendid place to be, just like purgatory."
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
"Kree!"
Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
It's not actually a lounge. Nor are there any officers.
Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
Internet Addicts Anonymous.
Posted by Futurama IV Skin (Member # 968) on :
Assholes Anonymous.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
I resemble that at (most) times....
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
"Come and slap your bitch up".
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
"My life deconstructed for entertainment"
"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live someone else's life... well this will make you glad its not possible"
"When I look to the stars and see how they shine brightly like my accomplishments, the black surrounding them also reminds me of the void that still exists in my life"
"Even the bumps in the road make you learn to avoid them"
"Hey, it doesn't mean you like men"
"Lesbians, computer techs, and the stories that bring them together"
"Would you rather see your family instead?"
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Before I forget again, a suggestion by Anonymous:
quote: "It's cheaper than a blog."
(Weblog software is easily available for free, as is hosting space.)
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
YOUR FRIEND IS A DIRTY LIAR
(Actually, I would endorse his entry with all my, erh, weight, were it up to me to endorse such things.)
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Less fun than a good beating!
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
"Come and count your brain cells as they die, one by one".
"Tactless, yet rude"
And it should probably go in "Starships & Technology", but howabout...
"Helloooooo, nerds!"
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"Hello World!"
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
"Somebody spoke, and I fell into a dream. . ."
Oh, this is pointless. Simon won't accept anything if there's the slightest chance anyone will recognise the reference. Maybe Charles, wizard that he is, can find some way to tie the Description into that Surrealism Generator in his signature. . . Melonfish Chrysanthemum Vacuum Cleaner or something.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
quote:Oh, this is pointless. Simon won't accept anything if there's the slightest chance anyone will recognise the reference.
Maybe you should be original then.
�A different plane of reality.�
�Like reality, only different.�
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
"Reality has been vastly over-sold. See."
"Celebrate dorknitude"
"Nerd support"
"Way easier than meeting and talking to real people" (was originally 'girls')
"Why we prefer fantasies and fictions"
"Imagine what reality must be like"
Also:
quote:Originally posted by Omega: ..."Take thy beak from out my heart and take thy forum from off my door."
Is this some Richard II, Act IV perversion?
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
No. Second last-paragraph.
Posted by Daryus Aden (Member # 12) on :
"Home of animal husbandry".
"You must be This Heavy (<>) to enter"
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
"You don't have to eat curry to post here, but it helps."
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
"Sir, it's the members! They're attacking!!"
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
"Word to the third."
"Like the Royal Navy, minus the rum."
Posted by Daryus Aden (Member # 12) on :
"Gondolin upon Tumladen".
Posted by The Captain from M.I.K.E. (Member # 709) on :
...at Tanagra, when the walls fell
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
"Here we fraternize about mundane things".
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
"Mindless dribble, courtesey of the Pentagon"
"If wishes were horses then my brain would be sore"
"FCK... all that's missing is you"
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"Like the Royal Navy, minus the rum."
So, just the cannibalism, then.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
AND THE BUTTSEX
Posted by Daryus Aden (Member # 12) on :
TSN - Its well known that we have that problem relatively under control.
Yours Sincerely
Admiral Sir David Cunningham (in a white wine sauce with mushrooms and spring onions).
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Yes, it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area.
Posted by The Captain from M.I.K.E. (Member # 709) on :
the U.S. had difficulties with navy personnel and pilots trying to eat each other at Tailhook, i recall..
Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
quote: "FCK... all that's missing is you"
An oldie but a goodie.
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
"How about a nice cup of shut the f*ck up?"
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
But I don't want to shut my fack up.
Posted by Ultra Manjuice (Member # 239) on :
I don't condone fake swears either.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Or yourself for that matter....
Posted by Ultra TRSDOS (Member # 239) on :
Frell off.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Do fake swears describe fake sex acts?
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Considering that "shit", "crap", "bastard", "bollocks", "bitch", and other swear words don't describe swear acts, your point is slightly rubbish.
Posted by Matrix (Member # 376) on :
"Civilization rejects us, so we make civilization here."
Posted by Daryus Aden (Member # 12) on :
Liam - are you asking people to be more specific in their sexual based swearing?
If that is the case, I think there will be a lot more comments about people walking funny after having spent the evening with a rutting goat. Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"Considering that 'shit', 'crap', 'bastard', 'bollocks', 'bitch', and other swear words don't describe [sex] acts, your point is slightly rubbish."
Depends upon what you're into, I guess.
Posted by Daryus Aden (Member # 12) on :
Explain to me how any of those actually describe a sex act. You're referring more to personal fetishes.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Well, the first two can be verbs. And some people might consider them sex acts, as, like you said, fetishes.
But, you know, what with it having been a joke and all, I would have thought that irrelevant.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Oh, so when it's your joke it's irrelevant. Gotcha.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
In any case, they wouldn't really be a sex act. Maybe forplay, but if you're including them, then you could include almost anything as a sex act, considering the huge number of fetishes out there. Driving a jeep is a sex act for Jeff. Crashing a jeep is a sex act for Liz. And so on.
And if it helps, my original plee was for people not to put little *s in swear words to self-censor them, because it's:
1/ Pointless 2/ Patronising, and 3/ Retarded.
Thank you, and good day.
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
"Fuck you, I have enough friends"
"This thread should get more interesting when I get drunk"
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
"Nu-uh."
Emily Bront�, 1840
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
So I guess nothing stuck. Great...
Posted by Daryus Aden (Member # 12) on :
Yeah come on, make a decision! Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
OK, OK. I will retreat and consider these.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Well?
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
The wheels of government turn slowly, slowly.
(OK, today, I promise.)
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
OK: I was unable to decide until I realized that I can always choose another later. In fact, they could change all the time, growing more absurd until...until...
So, for now, the one that amuses me the most is:
quote:YOU CAN HAVE THIS CANDY!!!!!
As a reward, Liam gets a collection of things found on the shore.
There were many that I liked, though. So I will unstick this thread, but if anyone has a new suggestion in the future, please share it, here or elsewhere.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
It should be in italics. And possibly stuck through.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
I don't know, I think it works as is.
Posted by deadcujo (Member # 13) on :
I don't get it.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
What's to get? Do you want some candy or not?
(But, if people must know, it appeals to me because it is an apparent Pokey the Penguin reference, or at least stylistic reference, and is also slightly menacing, because you should not take candy from strangers, and yet here we are, offering it forcefully.)
Posted by deadcujo (Member # 13) on :
Pokey the Penguin? Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
IT IS WINDBUFFERING!!
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Um...
THAT'S DISTURBING.
Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :
Nonono, THAT'S DISTURBING Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
YES!!!
Actually, it's not directly from Pokey. Rather, it's from the greatest piece of fanart I've ever seen.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
At least they're clothed in that one.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
The cognitive processes in Liam's brain could very possibly be the subject of my bachelor thesis on fuzzy logic next year, I note.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
You get a cookie!
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 138) on :
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