This is topic Frost it...And toss it in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.


To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://flare.solareclipse.net/ultimatebb.php/topic/10/4184.html

Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
 
I saw an advert for this on my local news station today, and have now lost all faith in humanity.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present....
Poop-Freeze

Wait, there's more...
Testimonials!
 
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
 
Goddammit.
 
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Really? All the things that are wrong with the world, and a product no-one will buy that makes dog crap less squidgy is the thing that disillusions you?
 
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
 
It's the one thin little mint that put Sean's Mr. Creosote over the edge.
 
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
 
Another great invention from Eureka.
 
Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :
 
Eww...
 
Posted by HopefulNebula (Member # 1933) on :
 
Hey, it beats Madame Fifi's Love Plant.
 
Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
 
I bet the whole idea for this stuff came to fruition when someone sprayed some of that Dr. Scholl's freeze-away wart remover on a pile of Fido's finest work.

I love that the add suggests that in the carrying bag, you store your poop freeze, a bottle of water, maybe some snacks, and the frozen dog shit. [Roll Eyes]

I know that someone in my family will probably buy this too...

At the same time yesterday, I found this. Seriously?
 
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
 
Good. God. I can't decide which to freak out about more, the fact that a male eagle shat an egg, or everything else about the commercial.
 
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
 
LOL William H. Macy and Hemorrhoids.
 
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
I dunno ; I think you have to give them credit. To make a hemorrhoid cream, put "anus" right in the name, and pretend it's not even there? That's definitely... something.
 
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
 
Anusol. . Wow.
 
Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
 
Well, they do pronounce it differently...
Kinda the same with Vagisil.
 
Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
 
More laughable as seen on TV products...

I especially like the Tiddy Bear seat belt cushion.
 
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
 
quote:
"First, there is the sequence where someone is shown trying to unsuccessfully impale the cap of a normal pen, which suggests not only a lack of familiarity with pens, but also the visual-spatial reasoning ability of a pot-smoking chimp."
I LOLed. That pen thing is hilarious. "Revolutionary magnetic technology!" Just like the ones on my fridge, dude...

Also, that quote illustrates what's wrong with a *hell* of a lot of infomercials for 'improved' products: They act like simple, everyday tasks any child can do are so difficult not even the most mechanically inclined individual can complete them. Insulting my intelligence isn't going to make me want to buy your crap...
 
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
 
Nice list, but they don't hold a candle to ShamWow!. Greatest Douchebag Salesman EVER!
 
Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
 
That plays on tv all the time around here. I see no reason why he needs to wear that crappy mic, that makes his voice sound like he is talking to you over the phone. I prefer Zorbees anyway. The ones advertised by the guy who does the Oxy Clean commercials, and now, life insurance.
 
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
 
That guy is the least annoying of those types of salesmen. I think because, as effusive as he is, he doesn't lie to me and tell me OxyClean's revolutionary plastic tub can be used to store fairy dust or something...
 
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
 
And Mighty Puddy.
 
Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
 
And Hercules Hooks.
 
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
 
Hercules Hooks sounds like an old boxer or possibly a STD.
 
Posted by shikaru808 (Member # 2080) on :
 
Transvestite prostitute maybe...?
 
Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
 
They're the next generation of wall hangings. Can hold up to 150lbs with only a little hole in the wall. Kinda useless.
 
Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
 
Ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who can't use a blanket and do simple mundane tasks, the Snuggie is for you.

The pros- you can now be warm anywhere.
The cons- you look like a monk.
 
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
 
A hopeless attempt to mainstream Renaissance Festival attendees into society.
 
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
 
*shuffles feet* I've, um, often wished for a thing like that when trying to wrap up in the blanket on the couch to read during the winter...
 
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
 
Great- we'll buy you a giant copy of the Necronomicon to complete your new look.
 
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
 
I'm more interested in the chick dressed as Princess Peach and Samus Aran.
 
Posted by B.J. (Member # 858) on :
 
They poked fun at this on "The Soup".
 
Posted by WizArtist II (Member # 1425) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jason Abbadon:
Great- we'll buy you a giant copy of the Necronomicon to complete your new look.

And then put them floating in the background of a MMA video game.
 
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
 
I'm seriously buying one of these things. And I'm occasionally wearing it to other people's houses.
 
Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Daniel Butler:
*shuffles feet* I've, um, often wished for a thing like that when trying to wrap up in the blanket on the couch to read during the winter...

Just put your bathrobe on backwards. It's the same thing. I love the part of the commercial that shows people wearing these dreadful things at sporting events. Not to stand out in a crowd or anything...
 
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
 
I've never actually owned a bathrobe. Aren't they thin though? And they have a big opening which is kind of the point of the snuggie...no clutching or tying anything shut. I'm just gonna go be weird over here in the corner...
 
Posted by Sean (Member # 2010) on :
 
I'm goin to assume that the Sunggie has an opening in the back, which I think is shown when the guy is laying down. I had a nice thick bathrobe once. It always stayed closed, and came down to my ankles.

Alas, I know for a fact that my grandmother will buy me one of these things for Christmas, so I'll go stand in the corner with you...
 
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
 
And with a cord round the middle and a book with a pentagram on the front, it doubles as a Hallowe'en costume! [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
 
You'd never get through airport security wearing that.
No way.
 
Posted by Axeman 3D (Member # 1050) on :
 
The only people I've heard of who wear bathrobes are porn stars between takes.

Anyway, I'm still in shock at the giant man/eagle crapping an insurance egg for the bad actresses. Good God!
 
Posted by MaGiC (Member # 59) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Axeman 3D:
The only people I've heard of who wear bathrobes are porn stars between takes.


I wear a big blue fluffy towelling bathrobe (although in UK we call them dressing gowns)Usually over my PJ's while reading on the sofa...it is very snuggly and has nothing at all in common with porn...unless you have some very strange fantasies...

The poop freeze still freaks me out by the way....
 
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
 
Y'know with this Snuggie, you have most of what could be an Imperial Royal Guard costume. Just throw in the mask and the staff and your done.
 
Posted by Peregrinus (Member # 504) on :
 
Mars, I may have to kill you now...

--Jonah
 
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
 
Those masks suck: the neck does not turn at all- like the old Batman movie costume- forcing the wearer to turn his whole body to look around.
No way a person wearing such a get-up could use a staff for anything.

I think the Snuggie should come with a long cigarette filter or a pipe for that "Hugh Hefner" look....maybe a pair of blow up dolls inflating off the sleeves as well.

Or maybe it will come with a CD of gregorian chants and a vow of celibacy.
 


© 1999-2024 Charles Capps

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3