This is topic Roasting the US in forum The Flameboard at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.


To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://flare.solareclipse.net/ultimatebb.php/topic/11/244.html

Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
 
Don't get me wrong or anything. Some of the coolest people I talk to over ICQ are US citizens, but as a Canadian I feel it's time to attack the good old US citizen superiority complex

Why do you think you're better than the rest of the world? Over 50% of the population of the States are completely oblivious to the presence of Canada. Canada is more than just a mass of snow, dogsleds, Vancouver, and Toronto. Our leader doesn't cheat on his wife. [sorry about that one, I just HAD to say it ] Canada has been voted the best country in the world for 3 consecutive years.

Now, enough about Canada, and back on topic. Everywhere I go on the internet where you have to fill out a form, everytime I go to the "Country" field, 99% of the time "United States of America" is selected, and when I go to change it to "Canada", the USA is at the top of the list!!! Grr... And that's not all. My cousin was talking to someone on a chatline once, and when she was asked where she lived she said New Brunswick. The person repliead saying: "Oh, you're from New Jersey?" WTF?! Sure, New Brunswick is a city in NJ but it's also a province in Canada. Sure, Ontario is a city in California (I think) but it's also a province in Canada and the location of our capital. I'm sure other people here from around the world can contribute their experiences with the US citizen superiority complex. Let's recap on this thread's purpose:

1. To attack the US citizen [not to self: come up with a better name!] superiority complex

2. To remind all US citizens that North America doesn't end at the 50th parallel....

------------------
"Timeline? This is no time to argue about time. We don't have the time!"
*pause*
"Now what was I saying?"
-Counselor Troi, drunk on tequila, Star Trek: First Contact
 


Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
 
The US is the top country or among the top countries in all kinds of things - technology, industry, military strength, land area, etc. All told, there's plenty of reason to think it's "better" than other countries, unless you get into specific categories, like the crime rate.

The problem with Canada is, like I've said in the past, it's a whole lot like the US. Many Canadian policies are different than those in the US, but that's mainly due to political concerns, and not necessarily related to the general state of the population.

Seriously, it would be hard to pick out a Canadian in a group of people from the US. Unless he/she was from Quebec and speaking French or something like that, of course.

About the form thing: There are lots more Internet users in the US than most countries (I don't want to say all, because I don't know if it's true). It thus makes sense for the US to be selected by default. I mean, the alternative is Afghanistan or something (going alphabetically). And in that case, the millions of US users would have to scroll down to the bottom, as opposed to, say, Canadians.

------------------
http://frankg.dgne.com/
"Seriously though, I love Earth. It's where I keep all my stuff." - Simon Sizer
 


Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
 
I'm talking about the superior attitude that most US citizens have to the rest of the world...

Continuing the form thing: Make the default field something like "Select Country" or a blank one. US surfers can just hit the "u" button on the keyboard to get there faster

------------------
"Timeline? This is no time to argue about time. We don't have the time!"
*pause*
"Now what was I saying?"
-Counselor Troi, drunk on tequila, Star Trek: First Contact

 


Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
 
Never mind whether our sense of self-worth is founded in fact or fantasy. What difference does it make to Canada if Americans feel good about themselves? That's the main complaint I hear about Americans (as people, not as a Government).

Rather than tell Americans "Hey! Stop feeling so good about yourselves!" why don't you lay off and start liking yourselves so much it doesn't matter what others think of themselves? Does it hurt anyone? I don't really think so. It sounds a lot like petty jealousy and to tell the truth, if you can't think of anything concrete you would like us to do then DON'T TELL US HOW TO FEEL!

Next!

------------------
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/


 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
*agrees with Baloo*

------------------
"A rock feels no pain, and an island never cries..." Simon and Garfunkel
 


Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :
 
..... And why do French people say "Stupid Americans.."

and why do british people say to me as the representative American "YOUR lot are a bunch of nutters" ...

There are more countries out there who think they're just as superior.
Nationalism is important, as long as it's not taken to the level of, say ..... Nazi Germany.

------------------
"It is important to get up when you fall...for this much I know to be true: That thing we call Failure is not in the falling down, but the staying down."
 


Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
 
Fabrux: On many browers those sorts of fields are pull-down menus, though.

------------------
http://frankg.dgne.com/
"Seriously though, I love Earth. It's where I keep all my stuff." - Simon Sizer
 


Posted by monkeyboy on :
 
Ah the ever present Canadain bashing Americans and vice versa.
What will this place be without it.
Reason why Americans are so like the way they are is because they are powerful in every way at this point in time with much influence. It may seem bad now but wait till they start to be challenged more for their postion of power later on.
And well it will all depend on how they the Americans will take it if and when this power which they now enjoy should falter.
If they still take this attitude of supierority once they are shrunken in power than it is a problem. U can't say it will not happen cause look at the British Empire, they controlled such a large amount of wealth and power throught the world.The belief that this power is forever is just delsional and nearsighted.

------------------
I did'nt do it.


 


Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
Hey, I won't knock Canada (except when asked to, or after watching South Park Movie). I love the country. I visit it almost every year and find something new to visit anytime. However I understand Canadians' feelings toward Americans. But to let you know, America is the best country, hands down. Canada is a close second, and the rest of the world comes after us. Hey, we were first.

------------------
I'll get you for this Gadget!!!! MEEEEE-ROWWRRRR.
 


Posted by Mycon on :
 
To Jubilee: Why should nationalism be important? It's responsible for nearly every conflict today and caused two world wars. IMO is nationalism, or the softer version patriotism, a tool for the ones who are in charge to manipulate the stupid masses. See Kosovo and Serbia. The people there were brainwashed with nationalistic propaganda, and so are the Americans. I'm always shocked how much patriotism I see in U.S. movies. I don't want to insult anyone, but the the love of the U.S. people for their country has IMO turned to overdevelopped pride. The U.S.A. are a rich und powerful country, but the social system for example is disastrous, compared to Middle-European standards. How can a rich country like the U.S. have so many people with a low income while the economy is booming like hell? And yes, the U.S. spend more money for their military than every other country. But that's not a reason to be proud of.

------------------
Mycon
 


Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
 
*kindly throws in his typical "America is not a country" speech*

------------------
Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Mycon: Nationalism is also the reason for the creation of such countries as the US, Mexico, and all of South America.

Our social system is far far better when compared to the rest of the world, so NYAH!

As for the defense money, US officials say we aren't spending enough. We are the top country defensewise, and its going to stay that way.

*waves the US flag and exits*

------------------
"A rock feels no pain, and an island never cries..." Simon and Garfunkel
 


Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
 
When will you people learn that there is no superior and no inferior, we're all equal?

------------------
"Timeline? This is no time to argue about time. We don't have the time!"
*pause*
"Now what was I saying?"
-Counselor Troi, drunk on tequila, Star Trek: First Contact

 


Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
 
A world without conflict would be thoroughly boring. Nationalism is great because you'd be focusing your anger on some other country rather than your neighbors.

------------------
http://frankg.dgne.com/
"Seriously though, I love Earth. It's where I keep all my stuff." - Simon Sizer
 


Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
 
But other countries are our neighbours. Think global!

------------------
Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
 


Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
 
Well, I don't know about nationalism. I figure it this way:

1. I am the greatest person in the Universe.
2. I live in the US.
3. Therefore, the US is the best place.

All other concerns are irrelevant.

Things the US has that most other folks don't.

1. A written guarantee of individual freedoms.
2. Paramount.
3. The longest-lived successful Republic-based state.
4. A viable (though seriously underfunded) space program.
5. Microsoft AND Apple.
6. We are, to quote Bill Murray, "10 and 1!" (Okay, we took a dive in 'Nam, and Korea was pretty much a tie, so maybe it's 9-1-1.)
7. C. Capps
8. Jubes
9. Cargile
10. Baloo

So :P

------------------
"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"

 


Posted by Jaresh Inyo on :
 
I'm Canadian. I'm proud to be Canadian. But I have to agree with the Americans right now. They're holding most, not all, of the cards. How can one country really be defined as "better"? You have to look at categories. America is number one in many of them.

The United Nations ranked Canada as the best country in the world. I agree with it, and with their reasons. But I also understand why Americans are so proud of their country. They have a lot to be proud about.

------------------
Josh: I think they're getting to know each other a bit too well, if you catch my drift.
Me: Oh, I agree. I think they're spending too much time together, that is of course, if you catch my drift.
Asher: I think he's *ucking her, and he's cheating on his wife, and he's risking his marriage, and if his wife finds out about it she'll leave him and take their son, and his life will be ruined. If you catch my drift...

 


Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
 
I must point out that I agree with Jaresh, but blatantly saying "we're better" I do not agree with.

And Canada was only voted "best country in the world in which to live or visit" by the U.N. -- not "best country" period. (Still something good, yes, but... )

Now: Die, thread, die!

------------------
Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
 


Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
 
Wait, it can't die before I throw in my now-probably-well-known speech again.

------------------
Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
 


Posted by bryce (Member # 42) on :
 
There is an Ontario in OH.

Watch Saving Private Ryan. Especially the scene back home with the high ranking official reading the Lincoln letter. That movie can tell you why we think we are so great.

And besides, we are the home to both Bill Gates AND Steve Jobs

But Canada can have Jobs if you want him!

------------------
It's all about the Pentiums, Baby!

[This message has been edited by bryce (edited July 30, 1999).]
 


Posted by bryce (Member # 42) on :
 
Oh, one reason why nationalizism is important: Treason!

------------------
It's all about the Pentiums, Baby!


 


Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
 
Alright! I'm sure Frank will protest, but let's have him!

------------------
Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
 


Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
I blame Canada for the foulmouthed youth of today.

------------------
"Have you ever seen a bloody egg? Glass in hand, laying up in bed?"
--
They Might Be Giants
 


Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
 
Uhhh, Sol... Why?

------------------
Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
 


Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
 
They shoot without shame, in the name of a piece of dirt, for a change of accent, or the color of your shirt. Better the pride that resides, in a citizen of the world, then the pride that divides, when a colorful rag is unfurled. Neil Peart A Canadian, and my favorite song writter.

------------------
WHO ARE YOU?


[This message has been edited by Kosh (edited July 30, 1999).]
 


Posted by monkeyboy on :
 
This really after the fact but is'nt the longest Republic based governemnt Rome?
It may be argued about success but it was the longest.

------------------
I did'nt do it.


 


Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
 
Rome had a dictator in the fourties.


8/9/99 edit
France was overrun in the fourties, liberated by the allies.


------------------
WHO ARE YOU?


[This message has been edited by Kosh (edited August 09, 1999).]
 


Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :
 
Jeff has said it all where Nationalism is concerned.

And First of Two: I should be FIRST on that list!

Or at least, placed above Charles. *grin*

------------------
"It is important to get up when you fall...for this much I know to be true: That thing we call Failure is not in the falling down, but the staying down."
 


Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
I must disagree, Jubilee. I think I should be first. However since noone here really knows me, I'll be patient and work my way up. Someday EVERYONE will know the wrath.... no wait.... Love of the Great Saiyanman.

------------------
I'll get you for this Gadget!!!! MEEEEE-ROWWRRRR.
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
And with a smug sense of superiority, the British sit back, and say 'ahh, isn't it amusing when your children fight'

Actually, I would never describe the US as a 'bunch of nutters'. Arrogant, un their own arse, analy-retentive ignorant slack jawed yokels (present company excluded, obviously) maybe.

Actually, one point. Are you sure the US has the best tecnology in the world? Over, say, Japan?

Face it, the UK far beats both of you:

1/ All FOUR of us hate each other, not just two.
2/ Despite this, when England get knocked out of the world cup, you can hear us cheering on quite heartilly to Scotland.
3/ World Cup: world Takes part. World Series: erm...
4/ American football is a game for girls.
5/ Austin Powers: D'ya know taht Mike Meyers lived over here in the 70s? And worked with Timmy Mallet?
6/ Me.
7/ Lee.
8/ Monty. (already, three of the most talented and funniest people around here. With me at the top. And let's not forget)
9/ Orion
10/ MaGiC (shall we hear that voice again).
11/ The fact that we've put up with half a century of 'cor blimy Mary Poppins', whereas if there was a US equivelnt, you'd have surely declared war by now.
12/ James Bond
13/ Monty Python
14/ Patrick Stewart
15/ Blackadder
16/ Red Dwarf
17/ Dr Who.
18/ The UK Transformers comic
19/ Goffy, the one and only.
20/ A subtle sense of irony
21/ The ability to get a joke without someone having to explain it.
22/ Come on, the EMPEROR is English for friggin out loud.
23/ PAL is superior to NTSC.
24/ You all smell
25/ Especially those of you in the jury
26/ The language is called 'English'. Think about it.
27/ I don't care.
28/ JMS was havily influenced by Blake's 7. A British show.
29/ The Queen Vic
30/ Real swear words.
31/ We know the difference between a bathroom (A room that contains a bath), and the toilet where you actually leave stuff behind.
32/ A healthy attitude to alcohol, socialising, and chilling.
33/ When we trip over s tep, we get on with what we were doing. When YOU trip over a step, you a/ Write a letter of complaint to a member of congress, b/ Sue the step owning person, c/ Visit a psychiatrist as you are unable to cope with the demands of every day life any more.
34/ Guns don't kill people. Americans kill people.
35/ Your jeans are FAR too baggy.

That's all I can think of off of the top of my head.

------------------
"Time makes all things possible. I can wait.
-Starscream


 


Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
 
Firstly, Frank:

America has the largest land area, eh? You're fourth, you dumbass! Behind the Russian Federation, Canada and China. Thanks for reinforcing the ignorant American stereotype...

First of Two:

1. A written guarantee of individual freedoms.

>>A Bill of Rights is hardly exclusive to the US. Last time I checked, Canada has one. And ours is better because it doesn't have any gun shit in it... (easy there...)

2. Paramount.

>>Shatner. Even more ego.

3. The longest-lived successful Republic-based state.

>>Well, the Athenians had a democracy for a rather long time... and you beat France by less than twenty years. Besides, by then many monarchies were essentially constitutionalized and democratic anyway.

4. A viable (though seriously underfunded) space program.

>>Don't forget your unneccessary (not to mention very seriously overfunder) military program.

5. Microsoft AND Apple.

>>Molson AND Labatts

6. We are, to quote Bill Murray, "10 and 1!" (Okay, we took a dive in 'Nam, and Korea was pretty much a tie, so maybe it's 9-1-1.)

>>And you lost in 1812. We beat your asses (well, technically it was the Brits). Canada's never lost either. Not that military might should ever have any bearing on how great a country you are.

7. C. Capps

>> Me.

8. Jubes

>> Dani

9. Cargile

>>Tahna

10. Baloo

>>Fabrux

>>And, uh, we've got Vorlon, too...


Oh, and Baloo... I sorta agree with what you're saying. Except, well, the problem is that Americans are the exception rather than the rule when it comes to national pride. It's one thing to say Canadians are just not patriotic enough, but we feel no less pride in Canada than Australians feel in Oz, Swiss in Switzerland, Brits in the UK or Zambians in Zambia. The problem is that too many Americans think that (misconception 1) America is undeniably number one and (misconception 2) the rest of the world would undeniably be better off if they were like the US.

------------------
"You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough."
-The good Doctor and his son, Scot


[This message has been edited by The_Tom (edited July 30, 1999).]
 


Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
 
Er. Reread Frank's post. He said "AT or AMONG the top." Therefore his mentioning land area is correct, even if largely irrelevant.

Technically, 1812 was a draw or stalemate. Realistically, it ended British harassment of US shipping, as well as establishing the US's place as a power to be reckoned with (any ragtag force that could pull a draw when fighting the same leadership that beat Napoleon would be.)
Therefore, it was a win, if not a military victory.

And we got a National Anthem and a couple other good songs out of it too...

*sings*
We fired one time and the British kept a'comin',
But there wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago,
We fired once more, and they began a'runnin',
Down the Mississippi to the gulf of Mexico...

------------------
"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"

 


Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
 
Actually, Canada was France's child first, until the Brits decided that the US wasn't enough for them....

------------------
"The Fabrux will never relent"
-Ben Embley

[This message has been edited by Fabrux (edited August 09, 1999).]
 


Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
 
Yeah, Tom...What First of Two said. :P (And land area is relevant. I mean, if the US were suddenly changed to the size of, say, most European countries, there would be an overpopulation problem. )

------------------
http://frankg.dgne.com/
"Seriously though, I love Earth. It's where I keep all my stuff." - Simon Sizer
 


Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :
 
*LOL@Liam*

Maybe I oughtta move...

------------------
"I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know."
--Picard to Data, "In Theory"


 


Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
 
[Is flabbergasted and deeply honored to be listed as a national resource, then remembers that so is wood.]

:P

There are always dumb people in the world. Most of us don't have to cross any borders to find them.

Each nation represented by the people at these forums has something unique to offer. Each person here is unique and also has something to offer.

Are you griping because it will effect a change for the better or are you just whining that this ignorant so-and-so is an ignorant so-and-so. Calling an idiot an idiot will not make him any less of a dolt. Wailing about American arrogance will not change anything either.

What will change things is a willingness to face the fact that opinions are rarely changed by speeches. Rather, people are influenced by other individuals. I don't want to suggest that there are as many idiots in Great Britain or Canada as there are in the U.S., but that the proportion is approximately the same.

That "proportionality" thing also goes for proud and arrogant individuals as well. How they come across to others is probably more a matter of personal style than anything else, but I hardly consider it an insult to be put down by a dolt. Rather, it's a badge of honor when the idiots recognize your superiority and try to bring you down to their level.

I am not proud of America because of what we have done in warfare. Those things were done out of actual or percieved necessity. I am proud of things like the Marshall plan, the Berlin Airlift (and I might add that America shares credit with other countries for that one). I am proud of what America tries to do to promote peace, and I am proud of the direction I want America to go (whether we are going that way is another story, but...)

The "I'm best, you're not" ploy is childish and stupid. England, Canada, and the U.S. are all great nations, and they do not sit at the peak of the greatness pyramid, but are (or should be) sharing space with other nations, cooperating to raise the plateau of greatness (not defined by military might) to new heights.

Unless someone subsequently utters some irresistably stupid remark, I believe this will be my last comment in this thread.

(But I'll keep reading it anyway.)

--Baloo

------------------
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/


 


Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
 
*whistles softfly*

Once again, Baloo rivals his eloquence only with his common sense.

Anyone who disagrees with the above statement is...um...screwed up. And weird. And bad.

------------------
"You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough."
-The good Doctor and his son, Scot



 


Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
 
I'm messed up, weird, and bad.

And yet, I agree with Baloo as well.

There is no, nor should there be, a "greatest country."

However, I am still the greatest person.

A legend in my own mind.

------------------
"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"

 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Tora's got the right idea...

Actually, it is the "the US is the best nation and everyone should be like us' attitude that most other countries can't stad. Even if only a few feel it. But then, most of you feel it, even if it's in the tiniest degree.

The British on the other hand, are rarely nationalistic. Only when someone says that the US is better does the Union Jack come out.

Oh, and football matches.

And rugby matches

And cricket matches (for all the good that does).

And anytime a Frenchmen is within 10 miles of us.

Oh, and New Year's.

------------------
"Time makes all things possible. I can wait.
-Starscream


 


Posted by Dani (Member # 57) on :
 
Tom: Why am I being compared to Jubes...? *feels slightly lost*

------------------
"Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States." -- J. Bartlett Brebner
 


Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
 
Good point, Baloo.

------------------
Saving the world: $50.
Saving the universe: $1,000,000
Saving your marraige: Sorry, I don't do that.


 


Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
 
*doesn't know whether or not to be complimented about being compared to Baloo*

------------------
"The Fabrux will never relent"
-Ben Embley
 


Posted by Cargile (Member # 45) on :
 
I'm not a great American, yet.

But really, who cares if America sucks or is great?

I'm little bit disturbed that imigrant workers get to take home all of thier income while I have to give some to the government. I'd gladly give up my citizenship to be able to take home all my money. (I'm poor. My attitude will change when I'm rich and complaining about there not being enough tax shelters.)

------------------
"What is that? A tank?"
--Our Lord and Savior David Koresh, the Second Coming snuffed out before He could any good.
 


Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
 
Don't try to be a great American, just be an American, and let history decide the rest. @)

------------------
WHO ARE YOU?



 


Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
 
Hey! I'm Canadian, too!

------------------
Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
 


Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
 
Before I fall asleep on the way to the bed, it being 4:30 AM here, I have to inform you that Sweden is in fact the best country of all times, so you can end this pointless bickering of yours.

-We haven't participated in a war for over a hundred years. (We supress anger and get strokes instead!)

-We have a fully functional health care program that doesn't leave anyone out.

-We have our nice JAS 39 Gripen fighter-plane, that although malfunctioning will earn us many billions from South Africa and South America.

-A KING! (Although a retard, he shows the rest of the worlds regents visiting how harmless Sweden is."

-VOLVO, SAAB, ERICSSON, IKEA!!!

-A broad variety of artists like ABBA, Ace Of Base, Jennifer Brown, Eagle-Eye Cherry, Meja, Electric Boys, who, although each and everyone of them is selling themselves to foreign record companies, leaving Sweden with a gigantic, non-profital music industry, makes us feel good about ourselves.

-Vodka.

-Totally mad-cow-free meat from trustworthy farmers.(Or so they say!?)

-A wide selection of bimbos like the Graaf sisters, Victoria Silvstedt, Britt Ekland and Zsa Zsa Gabor
(No wait, that can't be right) who themselves strengthen the myth of us Swedes being blonde, blue-eyed and willing. (A sheer coincedence that yours truly is blonde, blue-eyed and...well uh)

-We have a bunch of neighbours (Norway, Denmark, Finland) with flags that are so similar to ours that no one except us can tell the difference, thereby protecting us if someone would want to nuke us.

-Mr Dolph. (His real name's Rolf, but we're not supposed to know that, so sschhhh)

-And of course the mighty laplanders! (who are almost finished exterminating our once mighty wolf, wolverine and lynx because they are a threat to their deer-stock.)

-If I missed anything (like our very low cultural self-esteem, occasionally making us whine to other people about our problems) you can just mail me and I will keep on ranting and raving in my flat here, talking to a computer screen, pretending that I can make myself heard. O chucks, now I get all moisty-eyed.

BIG

------------------
Hickory Is Nice!!!
(Jem 'Hadar Wash-out)
 


Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
 
Boy, that felt good!

------------------
Hickory Is Nice!!!
(Jem 'Hadar Wash-out)
 


Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
 
Yes

------------------
WHO ARE YOU?



 


Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
I'm inebriated.

Therefore, it is okay to ressurect very old threads for no real purpose what-so-ever.

It's maybe 3am as I type this. I can't wait to see the ire I earn because of this.

I love you all!!!! Especially the deer!!!
 


Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :
 
You go Jeff!!!

"Man-Train" them deers!!

YEAHHHH!!!!!
 


Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
Is it possible?

IS BE REALLY ULTRA MAGNUS?!


 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
Uhhhhhhh. I have no clue how this thread came to being. Nor do I care. I just feel that, for the most part, the U.S. and Canada are equal. We may be better than the Canadians in some fronts, but the Canadians are better than us in others.
 
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
*sigh*

Roasting America: Cafe-style Dining for 200 Million or More

Ingredients:

Many chefs differ on what should constitute a true american roast. The French schools which invented the dish tended to pick and choose from cities all over northern continent. A thousand citizens of Whitehorse. Half the population of Santa Barbara. Several hundred acres of biomatter from the Olympic Penninsula.

But the version most familiar to modern gourmets comes from the great chef Robert Whithinhorningsten-Bassett, of Swindon. His innovation, to use the entire mass of just one country to prepare a feast fit for a king, or the conscientious diner, has since been made famous in finer establishments the world over. The ingredients are as follows:

1.) The entire population of the United States of America.

2.) The Catskills, the Sierras, the Rockies, and the Cascades. (Cascades optional for those worried about spices. See Currys; gigantic and made from lava, for more Cascade recipes.)

3.) Cities. Five good sized-ones, preferably from the midwest. Minneapolis is a particular favorite of the author's.

Once you've gathered your ingredients, the roast almost makes itself.

1.) Blend Catskills, Rockies, and Sierras into thick paste. Spread paste around the bottom and sides of bowl. (The Great Lakes do nicely in terms of size, and are also conveniently located.) This forms the body of your roast.

2.) Add humans. You can prepare them in any way you please, the more inventive the better. In a pinch, simply grinding them into a hamburger-like consistancy will do, but don't expect to win any prizes. Try chopping them into thin, almost fillet-like strips for a pleasing texture that's easy to prepare.

3.) Inbetween layers of humans, add ground Cascade.

4.) Bring oven to 700,000 degrees.

5.) The top of the roast provides another opportunity for your creativity to shine through. Consider taking your cities and placing them in the mix whole. A very pleasing visual effect can be had this way. Grinding them up and crafting them into other exotic shapes is another option.

6.) Cook for seventeen months.

7.) Allow your roast to sit for several hours before serving with a nice garnish of either parsley or fruit. Enjoy!
 


Posted by Constellation of One (Member # 332) on :
 
"When will you people learn that there is no superior and no inferior, we're all equal?"

ARE YOU FREAKING'INSANE?

Perhaps on a "we're all human beings" level, but on a national level? Is Afghanistan equal to Canada? Hell, no! Canada possesses an enlightened, modern representative democracy, even if you lot do keep that monarchist, mostly German Queen on your coins (just kidding! I like the Queen!). Last I checked, the Canadian government hasn't outlawed soccer matches, publicly shot women for showing a little ankle, nor beheaded men for not growing their beards long enough. If it is your intention to hold Canada up as "better" than the USA, or to any nation, then by definition, your above-quoted statement makes no sense.

By the way, even on a "we're all human beings" level, I would unhesitatingly argue that I'm a better person that Osama bin Laden. I've never murdered thousands, except while playing Halflife, and I really don't care what religion you follow, as long as you leave me alone while practicing it. I won't try to kill you for being a Jew, Christian, or "other." In short, I'm an American who believes in the Constitution, the first truly republican document ever written.
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Hmm. I was a lot funnier two years ago...

And since Nimmy posted that list of while Sweden rules, a new factor has come into play. A factor which proves that Sweden does, indeed, rule.

Thank you, Mr Ericson.
 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Well, isn't that nice...

Now, would everyone who cares, please raise their hand? Anyone? No? Alright...

Back to the jokes it is, then...
 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
A bowl of Rice Krispies walks into a restaurant. A waiter goes up to it and says,

"I'm sorry, but we don't serve breakfast here."

*rim shot*
 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
When geese fly in a 'V' formation, you know why one side of the 'V' is longer than the other?

There are more geese on that side.

*rimshot*
 


Posted by OnToMars (Member # 621) on :
 
Three guys walk into a bar.

The fourth guy ducks.

::rimshot::
 


Posted by Daryus Aden (Member # 12) on :
 
Why did the boat stop in the middle of the river?

Because it hit a log.


Just had to contribute to that unparrelled quality.
 


Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
 
I know I've posted it before, but it is quite appropiate:

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH:
1) You can smoke dope legally.
2) You can have sex with a prostitute legally.
3) You can be a prostitute legally.
4) You can be completely offensive to everyone and explain that it's just the famous Dutch "straightforwardness".
5) You can go abroad and take the piss out of everyone else in Dutch and they won't understand you, except in Belgium where they're too stupid to understand you.
6) You can live in a country so far under sea level, you get the bends when leaving.
7) You have automatic immunity from any law while riding a bicycle, including most laws of physics and logic.
8) Tall Blondes.
9) You can have sex with a tall blonde prostitute while smoking dope.
10) You can spend half your life outside Holland telling everyone how in The Netherlands you can have sex with a tall blonde prostitute while smoking dope, but you never have, because that's just for tourists.


 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
You have windmills too. Whoop bloody pee.

THe Dutch are famous for being "straightforward"? I must have missed that memo. Still, what a terribly exciting thing to be famous for (although we've got stuck with "stiff upper lip", and I don't even know what that is).
 


Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
You don't have upper lips in England?
 
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
Not stiff ones. That would cause all sorts of problems if you were eating an orange.
 
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
So then you *do* know what they are!

You should be 'PsyLiar' ...
 




© 1999-2024 Charles Capps

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3