Well, I think Elim did a great job (and I'm not just saying that because I won)... Baloo is taking next week's, which aught to be interesting... but for this week, here goes!
1. When does heck freeze over and pigs fly?
2. Name a part on Cher's body that ISN'T plastic.
3. Sex on the Beach, anyone?
4. How do you convince your cat that he doesn't rule the world?
5. Fill in the blank: "One dark, stormy night, ______________"
6. What animal would you rather be?
7. I shouldn't press this big red button because......?
8. Who can turn the stove on with her smile?
9. What, exactly, is in "Tuna Surprise" ?
10. Would you rather die a hero or live a coward?
Good Luck, all!
------------------
Sex is sacred. Your body is a temple. Anyone need sanctifying? ;)
------------------
WHO ARE YOU
[This message has been edited by Kosh (edited July 02, 1999).]
2. Name a part on Cher's body that ISN'T plastic.
Eyeballs.
3. Sex on the Beach, anyone?
Sure. Nevermind that "religion" thing.
4. How do you convince your cat that he doesn't rule the world?
Buy a dog. A big one.
5. Fill in the blank: "One dark, stormy night, ______________"
I learned of a sinister plot against someone I care for deeply. That's a true story, and I had to laugh at the irony that I learn about it on a dark, stormy night
6. What animal would you rather be?
Eagle.
7. I shouldn't press this big red button because......?
I don't think there has been one example of a big red button ever having a kind, decent, and moral purpose. If it's big and red, it's probably bad.
8. Who can turn the stove on with her smile?
I can think of a few people. But I'm not a stove.
9. What, exactly, is in "Tuna Surprise" ?
Tuna that never saw the fishermen coming?
10. Would you rather die a hero or live a coward?
Die a hero. That way I could do a cool death scene.
------------------
Josh: I think they're getting to know each other a bit too well, if you catch my drift.
Me: Oh, I agree. I think they're spending too much time together, that is of course, if you catch my drift.
Asher: I think he's *ucking her, and he's cheating on his wife, and he's risking his marriage, and if his wife finds out about it she'll leave him and take their son, and his life will be ruined. If you catch my drift...
Heck Freezes Over: 8:19 PM ET, October 3, 4572 AD
Pigs Fly: 4:57 AM ET, April 19, 2031 AD
2. Name a part on Cher's body that ISN'T plastic.
Her eardrums.
3. Sex on the Beach, anyone?
Umm... I'm going to go with "no" on that...
4. How do you convince your cat that he doesn't rule the world?
Cat's don't rule the world?
*meow*
Coming, master!
5. Fill in the blank: "One dark, stormy night, ______________"
One dark, stormy night, Dr. Jubes-enstein was working on bringing her latest creation to life...
Jubes-enstein: Quick, bring me the brain I need to complete my creation!
CC-gor: Hee... Coming, master... Hee...
Dr. Jubes-enstein installs the brain, and brings the thing to life.
Jubes-enstein: It's alive! Alive!
The thing rises from the table.
Thing: The Defiant is 120 meters in length.
CC-gor: Oh no, you've cloned Frank!
6. What animal would you rather be?
Actually, I prefer being human. Being a member of the third most intelligent species on the planet (behind dolphins and mice) is just where I want to be.
7. I shouldn't press this big red button because......?
Krenim: Don't touch that you fool! That's the history eraser button!
Jubes: So? What'll happen?
Krenim: That's just it... Maybe something good... Maybe something bad... I guess we'll never know...
8. Who can turn the stove on with her smile?
Carrie.
9. What, exactly, is in "Tuna Surprise" ?
Tuna and Mystery Meat.
10. Would you rather die a hero or live a coward?
Can't I do both?
------------------
Darlene: I read a lot of science fiction.
Herbert: Bless you, my child.
Kay: The world needs more people like you.
-Deep Space Nine, "Far Beyond the Stars."
2. Name a part on Cher's body that ISN'T plastic.
Her brain. Its actually filled with a gaseous mixture of 80% nitrogen and 20% oxygen.
3. Sex on the Beach, anyone?
Answer 1: I don't drink, sorry...
Answer 2: If you're talkin about the OTHER 'Sex on the Beach" I'll have to ask my girlfriend if she's interested...
4. How do you convince your cat that he doesn't rule the world?
Throw him in the bathtub during bathtime...He'll learn VERY quick.
5. Fill in the blank: "One dark, stormy night..."
I once posted a very long, but informative letter on the forums explaining a complex but effiecent method to fix the Y2K problem, but then the power went out, and I didn't want to bother rewriting the whole thing again...
6. What animal would you rather be?
Human is good enough for me...
7. I shouldn't press this big red button because......?
Because buttons don't need ironing!
8. Who can turn the stove on with her smile?
That lady from "Bewitched'.....oh wait, thats a wiggle of her nose...
9. What, exactly, is in "Tuna Surprise" ?
Can't tell you...its a surprise...
10. Would you rather die a hero or live a coward?
I'd rather live forever...
------------------
"I do whatever the voice of Charles Capps tells me to do."
I don't know. But, when it does happen, there's going to be a lot of weird **** that will go on...
2. Name a part on Cher's body that ISN'T plastic.
Hm... I was going to say internal organs, but you did say "on"...
3. Sex on the Beach, anyone?
Depends upon who all is going to be there...
4. How do you convince your cat that he doesn't rule the world?
Hold him up by his tail at arm's length. That's enough to humble just about anyone...
5. Fill in the blank: "One dark, stormy night, ______________"
"...a gunshot rang out. The maid screamed." *Lucy van Pelt pulls the story out of Snoopy's typewriter and proclaims it the dumbest thing she has ever read*
6. What animal would you rather be?
Homo sapiens sapiens
7. I shouldn't press this big red button because......?
Well, if you don't know, I'm sure not going to tell you!
8. Who can turn the stove on with her smile?
I don't know, but it sounds like she may be in league w/ various occult deities...
9. What, exactly, is in "Tuna Surprise" ?
Absolutely no tuna. Surprise!
10. Would you rather die a hero or live a coward?
Not that I'm a coward, but who said anything about dying?
------------------
Pierce: "We're back!"
Winchester: "Yes, like a burp from a bad onion..."
-some episode of M*A*S*H that I happened to see
[This message has been edited by TSN (edited July 03, 1999).]
(side note: Someone whack Jarish for his comment)
2) Don't you get it? Cher is 100% plastic!!!
3) Oh no, not again *runs like hell*
4) Actually, Cats do rule the world. You just haven't noticed......
5) *SNORE*
6) A Cat. So that I could rule the world.
7) DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!!! It's my off-switch!!!
8) Well...... nobody's perfect.
9) Tuna, Potassium Cyanide, Hydrochloric Acid, Sodium Hydroxide, PCB's, Petroleum, Nitro Glycerin........
10) Live a coward..... *please don't hurt me*
------------------
I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation
BTW, it's Jaresh. I got the encycleopedia and fixed the spelling.
------------------
Josh: I think they're getting to know each other a bit too well, if you catch my drift.
Me: Oh, I agree. I think they're spending too much time together, that is of course, if you catch my drift.
Asher: I think he's *ucking her, and he's cheating on his wife, and he's risking his marriage, and if his wife finds out about it she'll leave him and take their son, and his life will be ruined. If you catch my drift...
1. Met Sint Juttemis! (don't ask, Dutch expression, never mind)
2. Sonny
3. Sex, anytime, any place. Please. But no, I'm the eternal virgin. BTW sex on the beach is a song by T-spoon. In China they were forced to rename it fun on the beach.. tsk.
4. Cats are actually very humble. You should hear our youngest at feeding time. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! MOuek! Mouek! MEEEEEEEEEW!
5. "I became very fright. Ened."
6. Um, a tortoise. Because they live longer.
7. otherwise i'll have an orgasm. Not that that's unpleasant but I'd have to clean up the mess.
8. Some woman with powerful jaws.
9. A big wack in your face with a 9 kilo tuna. Appears to be a la mode nowadays.
10. Dying as a hero always makes it perfectly clear to me that you were, apparently, not that great a hero at all, otherwise you wouldn't have died. And I'm a coward, so I'm biased towards the latter.
2. Name a part on Cher's body that ISN'T plastic.
3. Sex on the Beach, anyone?
4. How do you convince your cat that he doesn't rule the world?
5. Fill in the blank: "One dark, stormy night, ______________"
Suddenly, one cried "Pedro! Pedro! Tell us a story!
And this is the story that Pedro told:
"The defiant is really only 120 meters long."
Then we all laughed as we killed him before he could say another syllable.
6. What animal would you rather be?
7. I shouldn't press this big red button because......?
This BLUE button on the other hand...
*Klik!*
8. Who can turn the stove on with her smile?
She can also open bottles with her teeth and crack walnuts in her bare hands!
And all we Americans have is, is Bill.
9. What, exactly, is in "Tuna Surprise" ?
10. Would you rather die a hero or live a coward?
------------------
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
--Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/
1. When does heck freeze over and pigs fly?
Heck freezes over every spring when the flowers dance for Queen Victoria at Buckingham Palace. And pigs already fly. My my, Jubes; you do need to learn about his airplane invention!
2. Name a part on Cher's body that ISN'T plastic.
You cannot demand the impossible of but mere mortals, O Jubilicious!
3. Sex on the Beach, anyone?
I'm not sure that's legal. Or wise. I've heard crabs get fiesty this time of year.
4. How do you convince your cat that he doesn't rule the world?
Convince him it's a feminist society.
5. Fill in the blank: "One dark, stormy night, ______________"
One dark, stormy night, the animals in Sherwood Forest were fearful... and then... the sun came out and the birds began to sing as the clouds past; animals hopped to and fro (yeah, hair problems in the Forest); everyone was cheerful again; and then all science fiction fans threw up at the sheer pleasantness of it all.
6. What animal would you rather be?
*pants* Arf! Arf! Arf!
7. I shouldn't press this big red button because......?
It is the button of embarassment. Push it and suffer; go ahead. It has been known to beam outer garments away and tickle people until they laugh. I'm warning you! Don't. Push. The button.
8. Who can turn the stove on with her smile?
I don't know, but things will be *ahem* heating up quickly if she doesn't stop her innuendo-filled grin too!
9. What, exactly, is in "Tuna Surprise" ?
And you thought they always took the internal organs out nowadays....
10. Would you rather die a hero or live a coward?
I prefer to pave the road with good intentions since hero and coward are relative. Watch out! Get that pebble away; it's so scary....
------------------
Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")
1. Elim Garak .... Late entry, but just enough innuendo to pull it off, and it made me laugh.
2. Baloo ...... *eats jelly donut anyway*
3. Jeff Raven ... well, Heck ALMOST froze over...
Honorable Mentions go to: Krenim's Dark and Stormy night story, and Jaresh's reason for not hitting the red button.
Stay tuned for Baloo's version of 10 Questions!
------------------
Berkoff: "He's threatening to kill me. What should I do?"
Michael: "Don't let him."
- La Femme Nikita
Well I guess I was late on that one.
------------------
All we are is dust in the wind, dude....
Dust, Wind, DUDE!!!
[This message has been edited by Saiyanman Benjita (edited July 18, 1999).]