Flare Sci-Fi Forums: Candid CapCom: The Scariest Writers

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Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Proceed at Your Own Risk!

You may be damaged for life.

Now that you've been duly warned, there are two reasons for this warning: 1. It may shatter your reality and perception pertaining to Star Trek: Voyager. 2. You may indeed be frightened.

Without any further ado, here they are, up for a round of CapComing...

Left to right: Story editor Bryan Fuller, then-co-executive and now-executive producer Brannon Braga, then-executive story editor Lisa Klink, co-executive producer Ken Biller, then-intern and now-story editor Robert Doherty, and finally, then-executive producer Jeri Taylor.

It's a picture from Season Four.

Oh, and the picture comes from Star Trek: Action!. It's badly scanned by me; I was too lazy to do a high-quality (and not crooked) scan for it. *L*

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Bradon: You see Jeri, we get this women with huge, ah um, tracks of land. We can dump Jen to make room in the budget. Then we'll have enough money to get the golf ball out of Bryan's throat!

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WHO ARE YOU?

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Strange how the two people in the picture that are off the show, look unhappy!

Lisa look nice!

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WHO ARE YOU?

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

writer: "splunge!"

another writer: "splunge for me too."

boss: "Iyyyyy like it."

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Contestant: is it a dog?
Contestant2: No you dope, it's Voyager.
*Buzz*
Drawer: You stupid morons, it's a horse jumping posts. This is the last time I play Pictionary with you writers.

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Nurse: Can I help you?
Stan: We're here to commit our friend, Kyle.
Nurse: Reason?
Kyle: I'm a clinically depressed fecalpheliac on Prozac.
Nurse: JACKET!!

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Doherty stares at Klink, thinking about the pie he has in the oven at home.

--OR--

Braga: "Huh-huh. Huh-huh. Jeri said 'annular confinement beam'..."

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Taurik: "He's convinced Commander Riker doesn't like him."
Ben: "Why? You crash the ship into something?"
-TNG: "Lower Decks"

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Braga: *maniacal laughter* "I am evil incarnate! Hahahahahaha!"

Taylor: "Brannon, do you have any idea how annoying it is when you do that every single ****ing time you have an idea?!"

Klink: *thinks* Oh, I want him... I hope my bum doesn't look to big in this...

Fuller: "Am I the only one who thinks he might just be evil incarnate?"

Biller: "Hey, Satan, your shoe's untied."

Doherty: *thinks* Okay, just ignore them. Maybe the Klingons will come in and slaughter them all, or something. Oh, crap, we don't have Klingons...

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Taurik: "He's convinced Commander Riker doesn't like him."
Ben: "Why? You crash the ship into something?"
-TNG: "Lower Decks"

[This message has been edited by TSN (edited July 23, 1999).]

Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :

Braga: Don't worry Jeri... plenty of retiring Trek writers have gone on to successful careers as TV judges.

Taylor: Did I see your lips moving, Mister? Now as I was saying, it is not very ladylike for Janeway to play holodeck games with that Borg.

*Klink nudges Braga*
Klink: She's perfect all right.

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"They don�t call it show business for nothing. This is an ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly town in many, many ways. But big f*cking deal. Big business is ugly. The world is ugly. Our job is to make our little piece of it better. Whenever you get into the general, it�s not going to be all beer and Skittles and Christmas trees."
-Ira Stephen Behr on the Moore fiasco

Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :

Picard: I still think Braga's time is up... things haven't been the same since he wrote that damn episode where I had to say "All Hands Abandon Ship" six times. How humiliating. He'll go next. Besides, the critics didn't react to well to the Salamanders.

Spock: An illogical deduction, Captain. Logic dictates Ms. Hormones below me here will be out first.

Picard: Nonsense, Spock. Sex sells, salamanders don't.

Spock: Actually, statistics dictate time anomolies sell best of all.

Picard: Fine then. Taylor's staying put, though, you can't argue with that.

Spock: I most certainly will. Studies have linked the presence of a pink pantsuit to a waning influence in the franchise.

Picard: Pffft. Always with the logic. Voyager is not logical, Spock. Admit that.

*Spock shuts up*

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Braga: No no no, using the Captain-as-bait is old hat, and a terrible idea.

Doherty: Screw it, just show another Borg eppy. People love the Borg.

All: Agreed!

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"I do whatever the voice of Charles Capps tells me to do."

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Fuller: *thinking* I know it makes no sense, but Jeri really reminds me of Liam's old History teacher. And her pink shell-suit seems to be gettting Brannon hot. Interesting...

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"Fool! I am Cher! Admired by millions for my couple of talents."
-The Brain

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Okay, anyone else think they're being beamed up???

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Nurse: Can I help you?
Stan: We're here to commit our friend, Kyle.
Nurse: Reason?
Kyle: I'm a clinically depressed fecalpheliac on Prozac.
Nurse: JACKET!!

Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :

Braga: "Okay, here's my idea: an alien race comes along and uses Voyager as an interdimensional spatula! This will be a two-parter."
Klink: "Oh no...not this again..."
Fuller: *thinks* Woah...that script on his desk was real?
Biller: "You know, that's actually the most creative idea we've heard in a while."
Doherty: "Ooh...how about the aliens look like giant sunflowers?"
Taylor: "And this is why you had to wake us up at 3 AM?"
Statue on desk: "Geez, and the news sites wouldn't even believe the Flight Academy rumor..."

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http://frankg.dgne.com/
"If you feel that there is some intelligent reason why the immortality and happiness of 600 people should outweigh doubled life-spans and freedom from disease for billions, feel free to let me know. Surely, if they were one-tenth as moral and caring as they claimed to be, they would have shared their incredible discovery." - Mike Wong

[This message has been edited by The Shadow (edited July 25, 1999).]

Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :

Braga's Sideburn: Get me the hell out of here...

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"You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough."
-The good Doctor and his son, Scot

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

I didn't expect this to go over well. I just wanted to see what people had to say about the writers, but I'll judge it anyway.

The_Tom is the winner for the loevely Picard/Spock thing. Excellent use of Jeri Taylor's self-indulgence for her only TNG novel's cover. And the dialogue was good, too.

I got a good laugh out of Kosh's first post: runner-up. Second runner-up goes to TSN for all the Lisa Klink-related stuff (which merged together form "Oh, I want the oven... I hope my pie doesn't look too big in this"). That came across as the best part, because Braga obviously thinks he is Evil Incarnate, silly.

Oh, and Frank's sunflower crack better not be typical of Doherty. *LOL* Liam's comment about more parrallels between people in photographs (on the Forums) and real life is disturbing, as is the thought of the side-effects of Taylor wearing such an outfit. Ewww...

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")