Flare Sci-Fi Forums: Star Wars Capcom-Return of the Jedi 3

This is topic Star Wars Capcom-Return of the Jedi 3 in forum Forum Competitions at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

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Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :

Things are looking a bit black and white...

Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :

Luke: I have come to bargain for the lives of my friends Han Solo and Rainbow Brite.

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Darlene: I read a lot of science fiction.
Herbert: Bless you, my child.
Kay: The world needs more people like you.

-Deep Space Nine, "Far Beyond the Stars."

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

A snippet from the advertisement for "Charles Capps's 'THE GLARE' Training School" -- showing a proud graduate.

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Luke: I'm not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.

Jaba: Who are you?!

Luke: I'm Batman.

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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know.
~Groucho Marx, "Animal Crackers"

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

No, this is not Charles Capp's Glare school, it is his very own secret cult destined to take over the world. But where are the sheep?

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

[This message has been edited by Tahna Los (edited July 26, 1999).]

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Well, Charles's Dolly experiments didn't turn out quite so well... See all the weird-looking aliens in the background?

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Luke: "Now, return my friends, or greyscale won't be the only thing you'll have to worry about..."

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"Merde!"
-commander of Napoleon's army, upon learning that the Duke of Wellington's forces had received assistance and were requesting his surrender

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Jabba: Beware the Trap Door.........

Luke: Yeah right, I'm not falling for that....... AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

Luke: Please--I'm only looking for the best cure around for an upset stomach....do you have some pepcid ac or anything?

Jabba: *trap door opens* Plop plop, fizz fizz....

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}��

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Luke: "Have you ever felt as if you weren't living up to your full potential, Mr. Hutt? Do you want to know the key to freeing your mind, to truly accessing the full power of your brain?"

Jabba: "Uh...well...not really. That is, not recently. I mean...er...?"

Luke: "Sir, I happen to have a book here that can answer all of these questions and more. It's called 'Dianetics', and it was written by a very wise man-"

Jabba, silently: "Stupid wholesale trapdoor! I knew I should have gone to Sears."

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"We kid around a lot about people who are cyclopses, but seriously; if you're a mythic figure you've got challenges that no one should have to deal with."
--
John Flansburgh

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Luke: Jabba, have you ever considered the chance that Jesus Christ appeared before more than just the Apostles.

Jabba: Excuse me? I thought you were coming for Solo.

Luke: This is the Book of the Mormon. It details the second coming of Christ....

Jabba: AAAIIIIIGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! I give up! Take Solo and the Wookie, just don't continue.

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I'll get you for this Gadget!!!! MEEEEE-ROWWRRRR.

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

When the old Jedi mind trick fails, Luke begins to twiddle his thumbs.

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WHO ARE YOU?

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Luke: "Does my bum lok big in this or what?"

Gammorean: "Does my bum look big in this or what?" *laughter* "Huh?! Why, I oughta. . !"

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Luke: "Release my friends and I promise I will bring back the sun."

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Luke: This is my new Jedi power. I make it so you can't see colour. If you release my friends, I promise you will see rainbows for the rest of your life.

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I'll get you for this Gadget!!!! MEEEEE-ROWWRRRR.

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

*Hamill takes a question from the audience*

Kid: Harrison Ford gets $20 million for every feature he's in...You can't even get TV movie of the week! Doesn't that piss you off?

Hamill: Yes, as a matter of fact, it does...Next question...

Another Kid: What's George Lucas *really* like?

Hamill: Well, he's a very private man, and he won't return my calls.

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"A rock feels no pain, and an island never cries..." Simon and Garfunkel

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Luke: I've come to tell you about the glory of Amway products.

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

Luke: Mr. Hut, i've come here with a very important object, just for you...

Jabba: ?!

Luke: *pulls out the clapper*... It's the Clapper for trapdoors, limited edition. And it can be yours, for 19.95 in credits, and Han Solo's life.

Jabba: *claps* *the trapdoor opens*

Luke: AhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHO GOT TO YOU?!

Jabba: Lando sold me one first... and all he wanted was to see Leia in scant clothing... *deep laughter*

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"It is important to get up when you fall...for this much I know to be true: That thing we call Failure is not in the falling down, but the staying down."

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Luke: He who crosses the bridge of death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side.

Jabba: Ask the questions, Cheapi-Jedi.

Luke: What is your name?

Jabba: Jabba the Hutt.

Luke: What is your quest?

Jabba: To achieve all of the money in the universe.

Luke: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Jabba: What do you mean, an African or European swallow?

Luke: I don't know that! *Trapdoor opens* AAAIIIIIGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

C-3PO: How do you know so much about swallows.

Jabba: You have to know these things when you're a boss, you know?

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Right, cheers, thanks a lot-Patsy Stone "Ab-Fab"

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Luke: "One."

Spock: "One."

Kirk: "Oh, God, NOT more space hippies again!"

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"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

And the winner is...Sol System, for the Scientology gag...whooboy, I'm still laughing...

Second place goes to First One, for the bum joke...Its been a while since the bum gag actually made me laugh...
Honorable mention goes to the Saiyanman, cuz he caught on to Sol's, and still turned out very funny.

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Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Thanks!

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"Have you ever seen a bloody egg? Glass in hand, laying up in bed?"
--
They Might Be Giants

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Well at least I'm honorable.

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Saving the world: $50.
Saving the universe: $1,000,000
Saving your marraige: Sorry, I don't do that.