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"Intelligence People. You guys are unbelievable. You dump a mess like this (that you created) on my lap, and then you come to me whining "Where is our funding"? Well I'll tell you where your funding is. Can you say Health-Care"
- The President of the United States of America, The Long Kiss Goodnight
Kunta: "Oh. YAS, Missy! Wha's it fo'?"
Crusher: "Oh, well..if you try to steal from us or leave the plantation or let any of those other field nigrahs in here...well, it turns your brain into Jell-O."
Kunta: "Oh NO, Miz Crushah! THEY'S not mah peoplez! YOU'Z mah peoplez! I's da BESTest house nigga you'z EVAH gonna have!!"
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"Boinky ensued, and a great time was had by all." --Book of Nigel, Chapter 4, verse 32
*FLASH!*
Crusher: "I was never here. What you saw was swamp gas reflecting off of Venus. It was entirely YOUR idea to reprogram the captain's replicator to replace his earl grey tea with tribble urine."
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The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching
[This message has been edited by First of Two (edited May 17, 2001).]
[This message has been edited by Nimrod (edited May 17, 2001).]
Crusher: Only $6,000 dollars and it's yours before it hits the market.
Laforge: Done and done.
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I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!
~ C. Montgomery Burns
LaForge: "No I don't.."
Crusher: "Yes you do, but the other is looking right past me! Let me fix that for you."
LaForge: "Oh no you don't! Reverse psychology, right? This is where I have to love you, right?"
Crusher: "What? Do you want to have your eyes back in alignment or not?"
LaForge: "Uhm, yes... Well... Don't stare at me! Just fix it..."
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"I don't poke my head into business world too much. All I care about is making the show. And naked stuff."
- Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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"Intelligence People. You guys are unbelievable. You dump a mess like this (that you created) on my lap, and then you come to me whining "Where is our funding"? Well I'll tell you where your funding is. Can you say Health-Care"
- The President of the United States of America, The Long Kiss Goodnight
LaForge: "No, I'm blind, remember?"
------------------
Phasers
A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead were all talking about their teenage daughters.
The Brunette says, "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a pack of cigarettes. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she smoked."
The Redhead says, "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she drank."
Then the Blonde speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis."
Beverly: Okay you bastard, blind or not YOU DIE!
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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #10
Where's all that fucking water coming from? - Captain of Titanic
[This message has been edited by Orion Syndicate (edited May 18, 2001).]
Beverly: Geordi, what are you talking like that?
Geordi: What do you mean why is meesa talking like this? Meesa Jar Jar Binks, Meesa your humble servant
Beverly: You've been watching Star Wars again? Do you know what Rick Berman will do to you if he finds out?
Geordi: Meesa no care - meesa Gungan. Weesa race of warriors.
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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #10
Where's all that fucking water coming from? - Captain of Titanic
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Phasers
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OH NO< THE OLD MAN WALKS HIS GREEN DOG THAT SHOTS PINBALLS!~!!!
--
Jeff K
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet" and nothing at all will happen.
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"Intelligence People. You guys are unbelievable. You dump a mess like this (that you created) on my lap, and then you come to me whining 'Where is our funding'? Well I'll tell you where your funding is. Can you say Health-Care"
- The President of the United States of America, The Long Kiss Goodnight
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"I don't mind being called a liar when I'm lying, or am about to lie, or have just finished lying, but NOT WHEN I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!"--Homer Simpson.
[This message has been edited by MIB (edited May 23, 2001).]
Laforge: Yes master.......
Crusher: You will now escort Captain Picard and Commander Riker to the Airlock where they will be ejected.
LaForge: Yes Master.......
Crusher: Then you will strip down to your underwear and dance to the tune of the Chicken Song on the hull of the Enterprise......
LaForge: Yes master.......
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"Intelligence People. You guys are unbelievable. You dump a mess like this (that you created) on my lap, and then you come to me whining 'Where is our funding'? Well I'll tell you where your funding is. Can you say Health-Care"
- The President of the United States of America, The Long Kiss Goodnight
------------------
"Intelligence People. You guys are unbelievable. You dump a mess like this (that you created) on my lap, and then you come to me whining 'Where is our funding'? Well I'll tell you where your funding is. Can you say Health-Care"
- The President of the United States of America, The Long Kiss Goodnight
LaForge: What-where-wait! Let go of me!! I have to-...what did you say??
Crusher: Look! See this, you carried this with you all the time. Look at the lens, look right here... SMIIIILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID ENT-COM!!!
LaForge: Oh you!!!! I don't believe it!!! *giggle giggle*
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"Babies haven't any hair;
old men's heads are just as bare;
between the cradle and the grave
lies a haircut and a shave."
Samuel Hoffenstein
Laforge: Well. Well!! Will I live?
Crusher: Roughly what we have here...mind you this is just a quick exam...is a an external layer formed of a white colored sclera and a cornea...
LaForge: Aghhhh!! Damn it!! I knew I never should have gone down to that planet alone! *whimpering* I'm going to die...I'm going to die...I just know.
Crusher: No wait please. I have some more news.
LaForge: Come on Dr. Crusher. Give it to me straight. I can take it.
Crusher: Oh I intend to. Oh, interesting, I see an iris a ciliary body, and a choroid. Oh.... and aqueous humor. Such aqueous humor.
LaForge: What does that mean???
Crusher: It means I'm looking at an eye. A healthy eye attached to a hypochondriac who had better stay out of my medical journals thinking up new diseases.
LaForge: Yes, but will I ever be able to play the accordian again??
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I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!
~ C. Montgomery Burns
Geordi: "Can I play the piano anymore, Doc?"
Crusher: "Of course you can."
Geordi: "Well, I couldn't before.
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OH NO< THE OLD MAN WALKS HIS GREEN DOG THAT SHOTS PINBALLS!~!!!
--
Jeff K
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet" and nothing at all will happen.
LaForge: Okay doc, this checkup better be quick. I'm trying to fix the captain's replicator. Apparently someone programed it to dispense tribble urine instead of his earl grey tea.
Crusher: I'll hurry up then, let me go check on your eyes first though.
LaForge: My eyes? Why my eyes first?
Crusher: Because for a blind man, you seem to look at my chest a lot.
LaForge: Doctor, don't you remember you replaced my Visor with optical implants?
Crusher: Oh...I think I've been coloring my hair too often. Damn Ferengi hairdye product!!!
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"When I said to get involved in the gay community, I didn't mean to sleep with everyone in it."
Michael_T
La Forge: Honestly, Doctor, look around! We're onboard Voyager!
Crusher: This is worse than I thought.
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"And as it is, it is cheaper than drinking."
-DT on arguing with Omega, April 30
Anyway. The winner is Shik. Very non-PC, but I like to remember that at least TNG had someone in the cast who'd been in something you'd actually seen. Runners-up are Firsty O'Toole and Tahna Los. Honourable mention goes to Michael_T, I'm not sure why. 8)
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"If Morden is afraid of green penguins, and Draal is shown to have
access to them, a speculation would be that Draal will use them
against Morden in the future. However if Draal only has a purple
moose, saying that he could use it against Morden would be a story
idea."
- rastb5m FAQ
Which one again?
------------------
"Intelligence People. You guys are unbelievable. You dump a mess like this (that you created) on my lap, and then you come to me whining 'Where is our funding'? Well I'll tell you where your funding is. Can you say Health-Care?"
- The President of the United States of America, The Long Kiss Goodnight
------------------
"If Morden is afraid of green penguins, and Draal is shown to have
access to them, a speculation would be that Draal will use them
against Morden in the future. However if Draal only has a purple
moose, saying that he could use it against Morden would be a story
idea."
- rastb5m FAQ
I went for realism. I leve PC to those fucks in the 5-College area.
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"'I don't CARE who started it, I'm tired, and I WANT QUIET!!!!! Or I'm going to come up there and flatten the BOTH of you!' And he meant it. And we'd stop. Or he would." --Foreign policy as laid down by First of Two's dad
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"When I said to get involved in the gay community, I didn't mean to sleep with everyone in it."
Michael_T
Crusher: Those BASTARDS!!
[ May 31, 2001: Message edited by: BlueElectron ]