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Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
 
(quite a few images, so apologies for the wait)


Once upon a time, there was a television show entitled "Car Trek". It was about the adventures of a guy named Kirk who crisscrossed the American heartland in the mid-seventies. He drove a 1975 Chevy Monte Carlo, which the show's devoted fans nicknamed "Ol' Constitution."

The show would spawn a movie franchise, and the producers decided to freshen the look of the "Ol' Constitution" by this time using a 1979 Monte Carlo.

In Car Trek III: The Search for a Short-Cut, we caught a glimpse at the future of car design when we saw the "Excelsiorific" 1985 Ford Taurus, which was far sleeker and more modern-looking than anything that had come so far.

The show's producers went a step further when they put together a sequel show, Car Trek: The Next Gas-Station, jumping a whole twenty years to the mid-nineties. In accordance with this, they used a car a whole 20 model years in advance of the original "Constitution." This time, a curvier, larger, and more comfy car was used, the "Galaxy" 1995 Oldsmobile Aurora

This show was wildly successful, and between it and its numerous spinoff series and films a whole family of cars from about the same time would be introduced...

One was the smaller and sleeker lines of the "Intrepid" 2000 Ford Focus.

Another, the longer and still-sleeker "Sovereign" 2001 Chrysler 300M.

Often, the show's production staff would look for ways to create a unique-looking car. One way they came up with was to radically alter the back end of the cabin by removing the back roof altogether, resulting in something called a "convertible." One such car, a little older in vintage than the Galaxy-Aurora, was the "Akira" 1992 Chrysler LeBaron.

And then word came that there would be a new "Car Trek" show, taking place in the distant and primevial mid-fifties, and with a car as much older than the original as the "The Next Gas-Station" was ahead of it. Now, the fans had never actually seen a car from before the seventies, but by now the show's devotees had figured out a pattern to the design lineage of these cars... as time went by they got bigger and sleeker looking, while preserving the same basic shape. So they all guessed that the car in this show would look like this.

But, no, a picture of the car leaked, and it didn't look anything like that. It was a Plymouth, apparently from 1955.

And there was outrage online! "It looks all curvy and modern-looking," said one. "It's just a ripoff of the Akira-LeBaron," said another, "I mean, look, the entire arrangement of the back of the cabin is exactly the same!" "There's no way this could predate "Ol' Constitution," they all howled.

And they all lit torches and charged off into the deep dark forest, looking for the Big Bad Plagiarising Wolf named Eaves.
 


Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
 
That post is beautiful.
 
Posted by Mark Nguyen (Member # 469) on :
 
I'm still laughing. That was a wonderful perspective on the whole affair.

And honestly, this is just another example of how Paramount tries to give something the fans will like, and we ram it down their throats. It's clear that the fandom loves the Akira class - there are hundreds of fanboy "WHY DON"T U MAKE A SEREZ BOUT AN AKIUH CLASS SHIP????????" proposals that attest to it. So when TPTB gives them something that looks like one for a main ship even if only in general arrangement, we go nuts. Sow and reap, gents.

Regardless, I'm still gonna wait until we get a decent five-view or three-quarter view before rendering judgement on the ship. And certainly until after a few episodes air before judging the series on the basis of its ship.

Mark
 


Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
The_Tom, that post was !@#$ing beautiful, man. Just really !@#$ing beautiful. You, sir, should be worshipped as a god.

I'm still laughing about that!
 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Hm... Would've been more accurate if, instead of a '55 Plymouth, you'd used another LeBaron, but w/ different rims and a different paint color... :-)
 
Posted by Mark Nguyen (Member # 469) on :
 
Actually, when I was clicking the link to the diagram, I was half-expecting to see the Flintstones' family car.

Mark
 


Posted by Wes1701E (Member # 212) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by TSN:
Hm... Would've been more accurate if, instead of a '55 Plymouth, you'd used another LeBaron, but w/ different rims and a different paint color... :-)

I do belive his point was to demonstrate that, although the car from 1955 was more 'curvy' then the ones that came after it, it still predated it because 'curvy' isnt recent concept... apply this to the Akira/Akiraprise
 


Posted by targetemployee (Member # 217) on :
 
Good illustrative analysis of the issue.
 
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
 
LOL! Great! Bernd should put this up at his site!?!

and

Akiraprise - PERFECT!
 


Posted by Bernd (Member # 6) on :
 
I had a good laugh about it, although I disagree about the punchline.

The_Tom must have fallen for a hoax. The new Car Trek car is actually an "Akira" 1957 Chrysler LeBaronWhoCares, with a chrome-plated bumper and white sidewall tires, ABS, airbags and GPS.
 


Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
Ah, but in the Car Trek universe, we do not know when chrome-plated bumpers, white sidewall tires, antilock brakes, airbags, and global positioning devices were invented. We have references on the order of "hundreds of years" and "several decades," but General Motors has never told us when these options started being installed in its production models.
 
Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 250) on :
 
Aren't we all just crazy? I love it! Simply great.
 
Posted by Stingray (Member # 621) on :
 
A ragtop is a far more general feature of cars than is analagous of the Akira/Akiraprise.

We saw the Cheyenne and did not consider it a rip-off of the Constellation. We saw the Nebula and did not consider it a rip-off of the Miranda. That was because they shared only general design similarities and there was a visible lineage.

A convertible Lebaron and a convertible '57 Chevy are nowhere close to the similarity between Akira and Akiraprise.

[ July 09, 2001: Message edited by: Stingray ]


 
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
Hey, Stingray. Your all but one of your pictures is coming up as a big ol' box with a red "X."
 
Posted by Stingray (Member # 621) on :
 
yup, noticed. edited it right away, but figures somebody catches me in the act...

And it figures of all those pictures, the Miata is the one that shows up.

[ July 09, 2001: Message edited by: Stingray ]


 
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
Hey, Miatas are good enough cars.
 
Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :
 
Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting, the 29th century federation timeship

 
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
Oh my god! The front of that car is soooo wrong!
 
Posted by Mr. Christopher (Member # 71) on :
 
It should be noted that Tom's Taurus picture is of a 1995 Taurus, not a 1985
 
Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
 
Chris: Yeah, it was refit for the Dominion War.
 
Posted by Treknophyle (Member # 509) on :
 
You're killing me!

Between this talke and Siggy's story, I'm hoping some of the overly officious fans will take their hatred off the burner and chill.

For Ghu's sake folks, its a television show! It's entrertainment.

And it just might be good.
 


Posted by Jeff The Card (Member # 411) on :
 
ROFLMAO
 
Posted by Wes1701E (Member # 212) on :
 
good shit
 
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
Indeed. Capital shit, governor!
 
Posted by Timo (Member # 245) on :
 
Golddang it! Just as I finish writing a honey-trickling review about Diane Duane, and take a more comfortable position in my cushy office chair during an especially lazy day at work, take a look out of the window at the beautiful day I'll soon be exploiting by a quiet lake all of my own, with a cool drink in my hand, I run into *this*! And there's even some very nice Vaughn Williams playing on the background on Classic FM, not your usual cliched Vivaldi.

Thanks, The_Tom. Can life get any better than this?

Timo Saloniemi
 


Posted by The_Evil_Lord (Member # 256) on :
 
Ahh, magnificent! That was a not-so subtle dig
 
Posted by Alshrim Dax (Member # 258) on :
 
Ok... Everyone vote for The_Tom as the New Star Trek Enterprise (Akiraprise) Marketting Vice President!!!

LOL !!! That was great!
 


Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
 
Dang, Jeff, now you're resurrecting the recently dead threads, too. But, this I forgive you for this is one of my favorite threads in this forum.
 
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
 
Thought I'd boost this back to the top in light of continuing controversy regarding the Enterprise's designed.
 
Posted by Kosa (Member # 650) on :
 
LOL
 
Posted by Fedaykin Supastar (Member # 704) on :
 
I just have a question, in which episode do we find out that the exact CANON name and model for the "Sovereign" 2001 Chrysler 300M???

kudos to The_Tom , just brilliant!

Well, i don't know when Enterprise will make it to Singapore, to i'll just have to feed of spoilers

Buzz
 


Posted by HappyTarget (Member # 670) on :
 
Missed this thread the first time. Thats some seriously funny stuff! The amasing part is just how true it rings.
 


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