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Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Captain's Log: Stardate 564313.5

USS Bermanprise is proceeding on course for Mahilia III, where we will beam down a landing party, raise shields, and try to muddle through a plot.

"Sounds like fun, sir," Commander William T. Riker said from his chair at Captain Berman's right arm.

"Yes, Riker, like always. I see nothing so bitter in that," Berman replied nonchalantly, his eyes afixed on the viewer and the stars streaking past.

Riker exchanged glances with Counselor Ezri Dax, opposite him. "Sir ..." Riker began. "That was one of Picard's lines from Encounter at Farpoint."

Berman looked at Riker. "Didn't fit?"

Riker shook his head. "Not really, no."

"How about, 'make it so'?"

"No." Ezri said.

"'Engage'?" Berman inquired.

"What?!" Acting-Annoyance Wesley Crusher half turned in the Ops chair aboard the Yesterday's Enterprise Galaxy-Class bridge. "You gotta keep current on your scripts."

"You shouldn't have fired Ron Moore," Odo mumbled as he stood at the tactical post.

"Dammit," Berman snapped. "I hung Braga up by his toes and tortured him with Klingon pain sticks for two months to make up for that, didn't I?"

"Sir," Lieutenant (jg) Geordi LaForge looked back from the Helm post. "I just noticed something."

"What is it?" Berman demanded.

LaForge looked around the bridge. "Well, we've got Riker, myself, Wesley and Worf from TNG ... and there's Odo, O'Brien, and Ezri from DS9 ... wait, Worf is from DS9 too, and O'Brien is really from TNG and ..."

"Is there some point to this?"

"Yeah," LaForge said. "Why no one from Voyager?"

"Well, Seven of Nine and Harry Kim are handcuffed to my bed naked," Berman responded. Realizing he'd said too much, he blushed. "RED ALERT!" he yelled.

"What is it, sir?" Riker asked.

"Prepare for saucer seperation!" Berman snapped.

"Sir...?"

"DO IT!" Berman screamed. "You will command the battle section while I remain on the saucer and run for safety!"

Riker shrugged. "Okay: LaForge, Odo, O'Brien, Worf, Ezri -- report to the battle-drive."

Berman just grinned.

***

"Seperation complete," LaForge said from the Conn as the saucer pulled away.

Riker grinned. "Lock on torpedoes."

"To what?" Odo asked.

"The saucer."

"The saucer, sir?" Ezri inquired.

At Ops, Worf grinned. "We'll destroy the boy as well."

"Oh well," Riker shrugged. "FIRE!"

Six torpedoes leaped down and blew the saucer to bits. "Now that we've rid ourselves of that," the Commanding Officer of the USS Bermanprise, Stardrive Section, pointed at the viewer. "THAT-A-WAY! Warp six! Oh, wait!"

"Yes, sir?" LaForge asked.

"Change the name." Riker said.

The Rikerprise blasted into warp space.

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 6.27 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with four eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
****
And homeschooling also turns you into a socially well-adjusted person, capable of talking to people without them wanting to ram a f***ing chair down your throat! - PsyLiam, 3/11/01

[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited March 13, 2001).]

Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :

BWAHAHAHA! WAY too much information there!

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You know, you really should keep a personal log. Why bore others needlessly?
The Gigantic Collection of Star Trek Minutiae

Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 250) on :

Great!!! I love it.
They should have done that episode a long time ago.
***hates Wesley Crusher***

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Kryten: Pub? - Ah yes. A meeting place where people attempt to achieve
advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of
fermented vegetable drinks. - Red Dwarf "Timeslides"

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

I have always felt that Wesley Crusher should meet his doom at a gay Klingon bath house.

But hey, that's just me...

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"Okashii na... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni."
(That's funny... my tears are falling. And I'm not sad at all.) - Quatre Raberba Winner

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

SPECIAL EDITION FOOTAGE:

USS Rikerprise warps past.

"Sir," Worf reported. "We've picking up a distress call from the Bermanprise saucer ... it's the boy!"

"Wesley Crusher?" Riker asked. "He's alive?"

"Yes, sir," Worf rumbled.

"Set up us the holodeck, Odo," Riker ordered. "The Klingon sim. Worf -- transport him in there."

"Aye, sir," Worf said.

Wesley Crusher materialized in a dark room. Six naked Klingons approached, eyeing the young man. "Who are you?" Wesley asked.

Someone grabbed him by the shoulder, spun him around, and ripped his pants off. A second later, crewmen walking outside of the holodeck looked around curiously as screams of pain filtered through the doors.

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

One word.

OUCH!

*LOL*

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"Okashii na... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni."
(That's funny... my tears are falling. And I'm not sad at all.) - Quatre Raberba Winner

Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :

Gee...sounds like a lot of fantasies I wanted to do to the character...

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"Oh for fuck's sake, stop your moaning,
If you fancy a threesome at this time of night, you can't get start getting choosey about which particular three!
-Queer As Folk, UK

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

Oddly enough, the only fantasy I ever had involving Wesley Crusher was stripping him naked and tossing him out of the nearest airlock.

I never liked that lil' prick anyway.

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"Okashii na... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni."
(That's funny... my tears are falling. And I'm not sad at all.) - Quatre Raberba Winner

Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :

Wesley Crusher being gangbanged by a bunch of horny Klingon men?

Dear lord...

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Nic: She's not a practicing lesbian. We need PRACTICING lesbians!
Me: I have a camcorder.
Nic: But no lesbians.
Me: Ahhh... no.
Nic: DAMN IT MAN! WE NEED LESBIANS! LOTS AND LOTS OF LESBIANS!

ICQ Conversation From January 23, 2001.

Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :

Okay, that's just plain sick.

------------------
You know, you really should keep a personal log. Why bore others needlessly?
The Gigantic Collection of Star Trek Minutiae

Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 250) on :

I say, skip all that "naked Klingons" stuff!

How about the simple beauty of a Varon-T-Disruptor?
Ok - so it's illegal, but who cares if it's for the good of the universe... ;-)

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

But we want Wesley to SUFFER! That Varon-T pop gun just won't do the job the way I WANT it to...

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"Okashii na... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni."
(That's funny... my tears are falling. And I'm not sad at all.) - Quatre Raberba Winner

Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 250) on :

Wait a minute - didn't you see the scene from "The most toys" where Fajo used that thing?
Seemed pretty gruesome to me, thank you.

Does the job for me - and remember, Wesley doesn't deserve more attention than necessary.

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Yes, then he'll just figure out an irritatingly smart way to flee.

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!