On another thread we got to talking about crappy movies and I want to see your pics:
-The Terror Of Tiny-Town (the all-midget western) -The Unborn (the 90's one, not the recent version) -Dragonlance Chronicles (the naimated movie- it'll kill your inner child) -Event Horizon: a haunted house in space with a drive that escaped from a Tool video. The ship itself looked a bit like a rubber chicken.
Posted by Josh (Member # 1884) on :
Highlander 2
Battlefield Earth
Catwoman
Batman and Robin
Alien Versus Predator 1 & 2
Posted by WizArtist II (Member # 1425) on :
I would also have to go with:
Highlander 2
Highlander: Endgame
Alien: Ressurection
The Green Slime
Any of the made for Sci-Fi (now the Ebonics driven SYFY) channel
Battlefield Earth
Willow
Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
It's all totally subjective. There are some people who love Event Horizon (not my favourite film, but I've seen much worse) and others who even like Hudson Hawk for goodness sake.
Personally I rather like Willow, one of the only 'sword & sorcery' films that I can sit through. While on the other hand I understand Buckaroo Banzai has a loyal following of fans while I really don't get the appeal and after two attempts have so far been unable to sit through the whole thing.
Any "worst" film really depends on the criteria as it's very hard to define quality and of course the MST3K/Rifftrax people have made a living off the "so bad it's good" factor.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Hudson Hawk is a great movie.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Moonraker- see Roger Moore waddle through a 007 movie! see Retards in love- in zero G!
Robin Hood: Men in Tights I cant believe thsi was made by the same guy that made Blazing Saddles.
The Fifth Element- yeah a lot of people love it but a lot of people vote Republican too. No plot, of any kind, whatsoever. The nice SFX dont excuse Chris Tucker's annoyance factor.
Posted by Josh (Member # 1884) on :
quote:Originally posted by WizArtist II: I would also have to go with:
Highlander: Endgame
The Green Slime
I didn't find Endgame that bad (at least in comparison to the other Highlander films, especially the fifth)
I have a VHS copy of Green Slime, it's terrible but it's really funny to watch. The theme song is trippin'
Posted by HerbShrump (Member # 1230) on :
"You won't know it until you're dead! Green Slime!!!"
Saw that in the theater. A local cinema was showing old movies for cheap all summer once when I was a kid.
Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
quote:Originally posted by Malnurtured Snay: Hudson Hawk is a great movie.
Exactly my point. I thought it was tedious shite.
I'm sure someone out there thinks the likes of 'Batman & Robin' or 'Battlefield Earth' are cinematic genius.
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
The Creeping Terror - Giant mutant rug that eats people, or rather people kinda crawl into its mouth. Features a bizarre scene where the narrator goes on and on about the pros and cons of being married.
Naked Fear - A stripper, needing money, engages in prostitution. Her first customer just happens to be a serial killer(don't you hate when that happens) who then proceeds to drop her naked in the middle of a forest/desert. Probably the flimsiest rationale for having a woman prance around naked outside of a porno. At one point she's found by some guy and his two sons, one of which assumes she's a hippie cause she's naked! Then there's a weird scene where the guy and his sons engage in prayer! I dunno if they were trying to go for realism here, as I'm sure people do pray, but just seems inappropriate after seeing a woman run naked for the past 45 minutes! Towards the end the chick gets Wonder Women strength and invincibility, biting of the serial killer's ear Mike Tyson style and mangling his leg, taking a couple of shots from his sniper rifle at almost point blank range, and getting run over by a van driven by a couple of stoners! She then proceeds to steal the stoners' van, run over the serial killer, and drive back to town where's she discovered by police. But even that's not the end! She has to be bound to her hospital bed cause now she's all crazy and violent! And she actually breaks from her bonds, where the movie pulls a Star Trek (2009) and jumps 10 years ahead, ending with the chick now working as a vigilante killing sex offenders. This steaming pile also features a subplot with some other guy which does nothing but pad the film.
Boy this post got long! Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
That sort of reminds me of a film I caught the last two thirds of ages ago, though for the life of me I can't remember the title. Again, it had a girl who spent most of the film running around in the altogether (though she has knee length hair that's draped down her front, so you have to wonder about the point) from some weird, winged demoness/succubus creature that likes impale people though the chest. I missed the first part of the film so I'm not sure why the thing was chasing her or why she was in the buff, though a vaguely remember some college type kids finding her tied to a log in a cave...I don't know, that film was weird.
Posted by Da_bang80 (Member # 528) on :
The Mexican - I got dragged to this with friends, and if it wasn't for the fact that they just happened to be my ride home I would have bailed.
Casino Royale - If I wanted to watch people play cards I'd... well I've never wanted to watch people play cards and I doubt I'd ever will so I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Either way it was a bad waste of time.
Dungeons and Dragons - Was a little too low budget, it could have been better.
Wing Commander - Oh shit. This movie killed Wing Commander for me.
Wing Commander 3 had Mark Hamill, the movie had Freddy Prinze Jr. That makes me sad.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon: -Dragonlance Chronicles (the naimated movie- it'll kill your inner child)
I was going to borrow this off of a friend. Not a good idea to do that then?
Why can't they make a live action movie out of it - or even a gritty TV drama!?!
Posted by shikaru808 (Member # 2080) on :
quote:Originally posted by Da_bang80: Wing Commander - Oh shit. This movie killed Wing Commander for me.
Wing Commander 3 had Mark Hamill, the movie had Freddy Prinze Jr. That makes me sad.
Lord knows how much I agree with you here. I played Wing Commander to death and that movie completely ruined the entire franchise. Ahh the things I would do to play WC3 again... That and X-Wing vs TIE Fighter.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
quote:Originally posted by AndrewR:
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon: -Dragonlance Chronicles (the naimated movie- it'll kill your inner child)
I was going to borrow this off of a friend. Not a good idea to do that then?
Why can't they make a live action movie out of it - or even a gritty TV drama!?!
Borrow it! Holy shit, I need someone else to see the horror of it!
Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
quote:Originally posted by shikaru808:
quote:Originally posted by Da_bang80: Wing Commander - Oh shit. This movie killed Wing Commander for me.
Wing Commander 3 had Mark Hamill, the movie had Freddy Prinze Jr. That makes me sad.
Lord knows how much I agree with you here. I played Wing Commander to death and that movie completely ruined the entire franchise. Ahh the things I would do to play WC3 again... That and X-Wing vs TIE Fighter.
I actually liked Wing Commander, in a slightly naff b-movie kind of way. However I should probably point out that I've never played any of the old games, so I don't have a clue where the movie diverged from the source material, or indeed where it didn't. I mostly liked it fo being just about the only "space fighter" movie I'd seen since 'The Last Starfighter', which was at about the same quality level, if not less.
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
Well last night Showgirls was on. Another piece of shit with the girl from Saved by the Bell. Though amazingly seeing the theater version isn't experiencing the entire awfulness. The edited-for-TV version actually takes arguably one of the worst movies ever made and succeeds in making even worse. Since they can't show all that nudity, they have this awful effect that superimposes clothing over characters' bodies. It looks like shit.
Posted by Da_bang80 (Member # 528) on :
In a way Wing Commander tries to be like the games, as there's one fighter recognizable from the WC3, and the Kilrathi look half decent. The whole mystic space-child garbage was made up to flesh out a character played by a guy who looks like a chimp when he's all dressed up to look like a fighter pilot. In fact I'd put money down that this movie would have been better if they had cast chimps, at least then some of the laughs would have been genuine.
And you really missed out if you haven't played the old Wing Commander games, playing them now would probably be graphically painful. Right now I'm playing X3: Reunion when I feel like space sims, but the learning curve for it is not so much a curve as it a vertical cliff. This game is immense and so delightfully random that one little mistake and the dinky fighter you're flying gets splattered across the bow of a carrier that just entered the system. The upside is that if you have the money you can fly the carrier that does the splattering and it is oh so fun.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 138) on :
Recent movies ... Speed Racer. I thought I was gonna have an epileptic seizure watching it. I remember most of the promos making sure we knew it was from creators of The Matrix. They also did V for Vendetta which went unmentioned.
Posted by Josh (Member # 1884) on :
I saw Basic Instinct on one of the American networks, TBS I believe - it was so heavily edited for television it made no sense whatsoever, not that it was a very cohesive film to begin with.
Speaking of TV edits, Die Hard 2 is hilariously poorly done with someone else voicing Bruce Willis on certain lines.
Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :
Yeah, Showgirls edited is crap. Who wants to see Elizabeth Berkely poledance with digitally inserted black panties and bra and lick it like there's no tomorrow? The X-rated version with all the gratuitous nudity and sex makes it a wonderful drinking game.
I actually hated Speed Racer myself along with Transformers 1 and 2. My god, it's a long CGI trailer.
I also hated Scoop. I guess I was too fond of Match Point which came out before this.
I also hated the Lost In Space movie with Matt LeBlanc.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon:
quote:Originally posted by AndrewR:
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon: -Dragonlance Chronicles (the naimated movie- it'll kill your inner child)
I was going to borrow this off of a friend. Not a good idea to do that then?
Why can't they make a live action movie out of it - or even a gritty TV drama!?!
Borrow it! Holy shit, I need someone else to see the horror of it!
*shakes head and backs away* Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
The Avengers. The one with Sean Connery and Uma Thurman. I still have absolutely no idea what was going on and I can't bring myself to watch it again to try and figure it out. Connery must've been hoping for a love scene with Uma or something. Either that, or he was broke and needed the cash.
Jumper. Anakin Skywalker is somehow part of this centuries-old group of super-beings who are being hunted by another centuries-old group of super-being-hunters. No backstory on anyone. We're just supposed to accept the fact it's cool and deep because they're been fighting each other for centuries. And then his mom shows up to set up the (what will surely be direct to dvd) sequel. Gag.
Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
Now see I didn't watch either of those because they just looked crap. Same goes for Speed Racer and so far I don't get the impression that I've missed out on anything...except maybe Eddie Izzard's big screen debut.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
I got you all beat.
Compare Kenshiro (of Hokuto No Ken/Fist of the North Star), the only main protagonist in television history that is powerful enough to not just kill his opponent but proceed to transcend metaphysics and kill the fight itself. You don't challenge a thing like that, you bask in it, especially if being on the receiving end.
I want to learn how to lightly tap people on the chest and cause their head to explode.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
All Kevin Costner movies are shit- try watching Dragonfly sometime: you'll wish it was you that died.
For an awful movie... The Ninth Gate- a movie that literally just stops right when the story is finally set up. Probbaly the very worst thing Jonny Depp has ever done. Far far worse than babyface.
Posted by WizArtist II (Member # 1425) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon: All Kevin Costner movies are shit- try watching Dragonfly sometime: you'll wish it was you that died.
I actually thought "No Way Out" was a pretty good movie.
Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
Not to mention 'Dances with Wolves', 'Waterworld', 'Open Range', 'Mr. Brooks' and yes, I even liked 'The Postman'.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
quote:Originally posted by WizArtist II:
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon: All Kevin Costner movies are shit- try watching Dragonfly sometime: you'll wish it was you that died.
I actually thought "No Way Out" was a pretty good movie.
Okay, yes, it was, but consider that it took the entirety of Costner's range to pull it oof. In No Way Out he's this disciplined military man- in things like DRagonfly he's just semi-autistic.
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Waterworld was complete crap. The only, ONLY reason to watch it is Jeanne Triplehorn. That, and his boat is pretty cool.
The entire world floods except for one tiny island?!? Huh?
Posted by Josh (Member # 1884) on :
The 1998 Godzilla film with Ferris Bueller was pretty much arse.
I also couldn't stand Superman IV. It has the worst blue screen artifacting I've seen in any film.
Posted by Scott Nixon (Member # 540) on :
I would have to say "Def Con 4" was the all-time worst movie I've seen (so far).
Just thinking about it turns my stomach.
Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
quote:Originally posted by Aban Rune: Waterworld was complete crap. The only, ONLY reason to watch it is Jeanne Triplehorn. That, and his boat is pretty cool.
The entire world floods except for one tiny island?!? Huh?
Oh come off it, how can you not like Dennis Hopper?!
As for the premise, yes it's silly and all that water couldn't have come from the ice caps alone (though a cometary bombardment might do it) the same could be said for allot of entertaining films.
The location of that island does have some sense to it if you've seen the Directors Cut. That is, at the top of the cliff they find a certain plaque left behind by Norgay & Hillary.
Posted by Mars Needs Women (Member # 1505) on :
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