Darth Vader's post-Yavin report.

Vader: What is thy bidding, my master?
Emperor: Report.
V: I need...um, more men.
E: More men? I felt a disturbance in the Force, as if thousands of voices cried out in terror and then were suddently silenced. I was assuming it was the hidden rebel base...
V: Hmm. Well, yes and no, my master.
E: What then?
V: The rebels...got away.
E: ALL OF THEM!?
V: Well, in a way, yes.
E: Oh, for hell's sake, Vader. I'm coming out there right away. We'll discuss this futher in the Death Star.
V: *cringing* Eeeeh, see, that's the thing...
E: What?
V: There are some...problems with the new Death Star.
E: I hope they're not too serious, I put a lot of money into that machine, you know.
V: Yes... Master, erm, could you define "too serious"?
E: Oh, just get to the point, Vader. It's the size of a small moon, what could have gone wrong? Vader?
V: My master, we were attacked by the rebel ships. There were a lot of them.
E: What are you saying?
V: They had technical read-outs, my master.
E: What happened to my Death Star!?
V: Master, the Death Star has been... disabled.
E: You incompetent fool! How long to have it running again?
V: Did I mention they had technical read-outs, master? Full, devastatingly complete technical read-outs?
E: Vader, I'm sensing that I'm going to have to slap you. Now out with it, or I'll take the batteries out of your intestinal tract again.
V: Master, the Death Star was blown up by the rebel ships.
E: Imbecile!! The most magnificent instrument of destruction in the history of...well, in all history, and you let it be blown up by
rebels!? How many rebel ships are we talking about here!?
V: Um...an entire armada?
E: How many is that?
V: Well, you know, it varies with regional commanders...there's 4 - 6 ships in a wing, and they had a Gold Leader, Red Leader, Blue Leader...
E: HOW MANY??
V: ...twenty-five. Give or take.
E: I'LL EAT YOU ALIVE FOR THIS!
V: I got distracted, my master! One of them screamed "Yahoo!" right into the com-link, and then my wingman swerved and--
E: *sniveling* My wingman swerved and someone screamed in the com-link -- BAH! Next you'll be telling me that Yoda pushed you down at school! Put Grand Moff Tarkin on the line!
V: See, that's...the other thing.
E: Don't you dare tell me that Tarkin was on the Death Star when it blew...
V: He was getting old, master, you know he wasn't getting around like he used--
E: Ah Dammit! He was my best Moff! You know how hard it is to find good Moffs these days!? You think I can just walk out to the Moff tree and get
another one!? Who else was on the Death Star!?
V: ...everyone but me...
E: 250,000 Stormtroopers, 50 squadrons of fighter craft, a legion of support personnel and an entire generation of elite military leadership,
LOST! Pinching off the windpipes of your commanders is one thing, but this!! I'll bust you down to 3P0 unit for this! You'll be emptying
oil-pans on R2 units till you rust!
V: Begging the master's pardon, but don't you have to promote me, in light of the fact that most of the rest of the Empire has been blown
away?
E: Insolent worm! What are you talking about!?
V: I'm all you've got left, my master. You have to promote me.
E: Obi H. Kenobi! You're right...damn your sickly pale hide, you're right...
V: Master, I have it all planned out. We'll build a new Death Star, bigger and better, with a bi-i-i-i-ig shield all around it. Oh, and can I get a personal Star Destroyer to find the rebels? A big one? All to myself?
E: Pff, with my luck you'll probably drive it into the new Death Star...
V: Oh, and master?
E: What is it?
V: Can you come pick me up?

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"According to myth, the earth was created in six days. Now watch out! Here comes Genesis. We'll do it for you in six minutes."
--
Dr. Leonard H. McCoy
 

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"O Notre-Dame!
Oh! Laisse-moi rien qu'une fois
Pousser la porte du jardin d'Esmeralda"
--"Belle", Notre Dame de Paris

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation
 

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
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