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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Peregrinus: [QB] Would this be a bad time to mention Jen loves They Might Be Giants...? You left out one tragic factor that I think bears mentioning. Far, far too often women opt for the guy whose life is going nowhere (in a worse way than most sci-fi geeks). One of Jen's periods of doubt about our relationship (which women go through, so get used to it) was ended by a rather harsh dose of reality-projection on the part of yours truly. I said that yes I was in a rough spot and have been for some time. I'm up to big things in my life, and the higher the wall you throw your hat over, the harder it's going to be to get to it. I am either going to succeed brilliantly or fail horrendously. Not much middle ground. The tempting factor was and is much more stable -- good income as a Ford mechanic and all that. However I pointed out to her that if she went with him, one of two general scenarios would play out. Either she would stick to her dreams and become a world-renowned virologist and he would feel increasingly inadequate and resentful, or she would sacrifice her big dreams for a life of secure mediocrity with her husband the Ford mechanic and live in the suburbs with 2.5 kids and a mortgage and feel increasingly inadequate and resentful. To sum up, he's a great friend and she loves him, but his dreams aren't of the same scope as hers. And the other massively worrisome (to me) trait is women who pick abusers. I'm sure many of you are nodding knowingly at this point, and have your own horror stories to add, so I'll leave off for now. --Jonah [/QB][/QUOTE]
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