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the Ten Commandments for today's Christians...
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by First of Two: [QB] I can give you Robert Heinlein's Revised 10 Commandments... 1. Thou shalt pay public homage to the god favored by the majority, without giggling or even smiling behind your hand. 2. Thou shalt not make any graven image of a sort that could annoy the powers that be, especially Mrs. Grundy* 3. Thou shalt not swear, or use any four-letter words, or anything else that mother might consider vulgar -- do not speak 'commonly.' Thou shalt not split infinitives, or dangle participles. Thou shalt shun solecisms. Thou shalt honor the noble English language, speech of Shakespeare, Milton, and Poe, and it will serve thee all the days of thy life. 4. Go to Church on Sundays. Smile and be pleasant, but don't be too smarmily a hypocrate. Don't let any children, if and when you have any, play out in front on Sunday or make too much noise in back. 5. Honor they mother and father, where anyone can see you. But once you leave home, live your own life. Don't let them lead you around by the nose. 6. Thou shalt not commit murder. "Murder" means killing somebody wrongfully. Other kinds of killing come in several flavors, and each sort must be analyzed. 7. Don't get caught committing adultery. Don't get pregnant, don't catch a social disease, don't let Mrs. Grundy even suspect you, and above all don't let your spouse find out -- unless it's a prearranged thing. 8. Thou shalt not steal anything that is not necessary for your survival, or that of another. Avoid stealin, not because it is wrong, but because you are too stinking PROUD! 9. If you have to go to court and be a witness, tell the truth. Otherwise, don't tell lies that can hurt other people. Don't tell lies you can be caught in. Tell the truth out of honor, not pride. People who tell the truth out of pride are sadists. 10. Do not covet thy neighbor's ass, nor any other part of his or her anatomy. Do not covet thy neighbor's wife -- or husband, whatever the case may be. For inanimate objects, earn the money and buy your own. ADDITIONS BY MAUREEN JOHNSON 11. Don't get caught. 12. When thy kisseth, open thy mouth only if thou planneth to open thy limbs. 13. Keep your mouth fresh, clean, and sweet. 14. Thou shalt keep thy secret places as clean as a boiled egg lest thee stink in church -- and to hold thy mate's love when thou dost catch one. 15. Promises must be kept -- especially ones to children. *Mrs Grundy being that nauseatingly prurient busybody, self-appointed legislator of morality and decency that all people know at least one of. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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