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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Malnurtured Snay: [QB] The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt. After the credits, we see naked Klingon orgy. This confuses the audience to no end. Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are having gay sex. During this scene, Picard complains about having sex with Data. There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must kill a Breen. Thus, beginning their mission. When they arrive at this mission, Data proposes to Worf. . This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving a pizza delivery guy. ! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately. Later on, Picard finally finds out that that he is really Worf's father, and thus the plot of the film finally begins. As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Captain Sulu, though this person doesn't really help anything. Then, G'ry, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But G'ry is not REALLY that bad, because this villian inherited his evilness. The crew then learns that Pluto is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue! While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'I feel pretty.' The audience groans. A little later, Worf has a small penis. . This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience. Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, is promiscuous with the extras. A little later, Riker runs naked around the bridge. The audience doesn't laugh, however. Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the Baltimore ghettos. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite. Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film. Soon, Picard has a toupee. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason... Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Oh, you motherfucker...!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy. Finally, the crew discovers that G'ry has a vibrator! This makes the situation very dangerous! In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Ooooh, seatbelts!' ...even though this makes no sense. In their attempts to stop G'ry, the Enterprise grows a third nipple. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop G'ry. Soon, Riker shoots at himself (ooops). . But this doesn't help anything. There is a final showdown in a nebula called Ze Nebula Original. Almost defeated, G'ry, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his vibrator! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him. Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills G'ry by impaling him with Geordi's visor. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily his long lost daughter, Jane-Lane Picard saves Picard at the last moment. Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with having sex with Data. Picard then gives a speech about Republican immorality. The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space. The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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