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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Austin Powers: [QB] My turn: Star Trek:Big Headache Written By:Austin Powers The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt. After the credits, we see an imploding donut. This confuses the audience to no end. Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are acting out a holodeck adventure involving a honkytonk band. During this scene, Picard complains about soaring fuel prices in the Gamma Quadrant. There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must investigate a mysterious plasma hoover. Thus, beginning their mission. When they arrive at this mission, Data learns that his body can be reassembled into a deflector dish. This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving a pie fight between the TNG crew and Lore's rogue Borg! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately. Later on, Picard finally finds out that that he should have found out about the plot an hour ago, and thus the plot of the film finally begins. As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Weyoun dressed as a nun, though this person doesn't really help anything. Then, Unpronouncable, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Unpronouncable is not REALLY that bad, because this villian suffers from ingrown toenails. The crew then learns that Bill Gates' microwave oven is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue! While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Daddy wasn't there.' The audience groans. A little later, Worf finds out that Quark is his half-brother twice removed. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience. Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, has sex with Fat Bastard. A little later, Picard says "Shut up Will. I had wanted to say that for 15 years!". The audience doesn't laugh, however. Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the Australian outback. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite. Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film. Soon, the TNG crew must fetch two mammoths from the past in order to save the day. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason... Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'licketysplit!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy. Finally, the crew discovers that Unpronouncable has a bowel implosion generator! This makes the situation very dangerous! In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Get some marmelade. Helm control is toast!' ...even though this makes no sense. In their attempts to stop Unpronouncable, the Enterprise gets stuck in a holo-nebula. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Unpronouncable. Soon, Riker shoots at Wesley. But this doesn't help anything. There is a final showdown in a nebula called The Oomoxion Nebula. Almost defeated, Unpronouncable, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his bowel implosion generator! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him. Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Unpronouncable by impaling him with a stack of frozen Jaffa cakes. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Nigel Powers saves Picard at the last moment. Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with soaring fuel prices in the Gamma Quadrant. Picard then gives a speech about Bush's right to invade Iraq without cause. The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space. The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack. THE END :) [/QB][/QUOTE]
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