Post A Reply
my profile
|
directory
login
|
search
|
faq
|
forum home
»
Flare Sci-Fi Forums
»
Sci-Fi
»
Designs, Artwork, & Creativity
»
*Rise of the Warspite*
» Post A Reply
Post A Reply
Login Name:
Password:
Message:
HTML is enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Warped1701: [QB] I haven't had time to read it all the way through yet, but I have to say that it's fairly well written. I'm a big Weber fan, and am very impressed with the grand universe he's created, and how well other people can write in it. However, I do have one minor nitpick I'd like to point out. [QUOTE]"From Admiral Honor Harrington, Grayson Space Navy," he read in his melodious voice, "to Captain Thaddeus Armstrong, Grayson Space Navy, Forty-Sixth Day, Tenth Month, Year Three Hundred and Twenty After Landing. Sir: You are hereby directed and required to proceed aboard The Protector's Starship Warspite, BC-Six-Two, there to take upon the duties and responsibilities of commanding officer in service of The Tester, and of Grayson. Fail in God's service at your peril. By order of High Admiral Wesley Matthews, for Protector of the Faith, Benjamin IX."[/QUOTE] All in all, this is all right. It follows the Manticoran format a little too close to the hilt than the Graysons would IMO, but that isn't my really nitpicky thing. ;) My really nitpicky thing...the date. You quote the date in the Manticoran format, while the Graysons use the old Georgian calendar. In FIE, Honor has difficulty translating the Manticoran calendar into the one the Graysons use, which is the same as ours. So, it would be better if you used something like 28 September 40--, instead of AL. Of course, it is your writing after all, and you can do as you wish but I thought I'd point it out. When I get some more time I'll take a better look at the whole thing. Hope this helps at least a little. [/QB][/QUOTE]
Instant Graemlins
Instant UBB Code™
What is UBB Code™?
Options
Disable Graemlins in this post.
*** Click here to review this topic. ***
© 1999-2024 Charles Capps
Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3