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[QUOTE]Originally posted by StationMaster: [QB] Dr Who - Christmas Special..... (WARNING - this is a little too sexual so if you don't want to be offended, don't read it... sorry Charles) Can you just imagine if Torchwood 4 were doing the operation? "Jack! Its the Priminister on the phone...," Tosh shouts across the room "Tell her to feck off, I'm having a wank..." Jack replies from his office. "Jack! It's something about an alien ship over london.." Owen laughs. Tosh glares at him. "What?" Owen laughs, "We are Welsh.... who cares if London gets wiped off the map. At least we might get the weather people to give proper regional reports...." "So do you want to take this call?" Tosh snaps glaring at him... "No darlin," Owen replies, "Suzies under the desk giving me a blow job.... do you want to join in?" Yanto mooches across the room... Tosh looks at him. "Yanto, why do you have such a crap name?" Tosh asks. Yanto stops shocked... "Oh bugger... did I say that out loud....." Tosh mutters.... Vague gurgling sound comes from under Owens desk. "errr.... Tosh," Owen says gasping, "Arn't you forgetting something..." Tosh looks around questioningly "Oh bugger, my coffee... bet its cold now..." "No you silly bint... the Priminster!" "Oh crud," Tosh blurts out. "JACK YOU ARSE!" Tosh calls out, "Stop wanking and come take this phone call!" A second later Jack appears from his office looking his usual handsom self, hair all neat and pretty... Jack gives Yanto a very sexual smile. Owen gives Jack a puzzled look as he zips his trousers up and suzie appears from under the desk. "Jack, what brand of hair gel do you use... I really must get some..." Jack gives Owen a cocked smile. "Who said I use hair gel??" Jack looks at Tosh. "Now, what is so important that I had to stop my tantric wanking...." "Err.... ooohhhh.... sorry, its the priminister there is a .... ahhhh .... alien ship over ... mmmm... London." "Why in the name of god does that bother me... I'm American! As long as it is not over my head, who cares..." He pauses for moment... "Are you okay?" "ooohhhh its nothing Jack... Suzies is under my desk annnndd... ahhh... has just pulled my knickers down...." "Cool! Can I watch?" Owen shouts out from across the room trying to sneek a peek. Across the room Yanto is sneaking a cofin it to the building... nobody notices. "Right, what the feck can I do for you," Jack says. Jack listens intently, occasionally uttering the odd mmmm and yes. "Okay.. yes, I understand. You know, and I don't mean you any diesrespect here, but you should call that sexy woman at Torchwood One. I think the switchboard put you through to the wrong number. No... this is Torchwood Four. We investigate sexual inuendos and cases involving lots of Ketchup. Yes, I understand and if London is wiped off the map, please accept our deepest condolences." Jack looks up from the phone to the sounds of Tosh squeeling like a pig and banging her keyboard violently. Owen, hands down trousers is egarly watching the whole thing. "You know," Jack says to nobody, as nobody is really listening to him, "Does anyone know what that receptionist of ours does?" The end... [/QB][/QUOTE]
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