quote:
The SolarFlare Frequently Asked Questions document. Version 1.2
by Sol SystemWelcome to the Flare Forums! In the hopes of making this place as enjoyable as possible, we've compiled a list of frequently asked questions, common injokes, and handy insults. So if you've been sitting back, scratching your head and wondering just how much valium is necessary to get by here, your search is over.
Q: What sort of things are discussed here?
A: Officially or unofficially? The Forums are built around a Star Trek/science fiction core, like so much of the information economy that will take us all into the next millennium. Let's take a look at each Forum seperately.
Incoming Hail: If something official is going on, it will be announced here. If you've got a bug to report, it goes here too.
Network Projects: The enigmatic man with the plan, Charles Capps, does a whole lot of other things loosely connected to the Forums. Learn and comment about them here.
General Discussion: Convienantly located under the words "Star Trek", this forum is for the discussion of anything Trekish that doesn't fit in the other forums. Generally, this includes the original series, the Next Generation, movies, and most fun of all, future predictions. Also home to the "Cast your own Trek series with all the attractive stars you'd like to gawk at for an hour each week" threads.
Voyager: Despite the deceptive title, this isn't the place to discuss Plymouth design philosophy. It's the home of the only Trek show currently in production. Love it? Hate it? Think they should have cast Bob Denver? Share with us.
Deep Space Nine: Not even any room for sarcasm here. Tell us about your favorite episodes, what you thought of the finale, or who you'd like to be stranded in the mirror universe with.
Starships & Other Technology: Also known as the Forums' bread and butter. The direct descendant of the old Utopia Planitia forum, now in brilliant technicolor. The most popular Trek forum here. As its name suggests, talk about all that nifty *tech* we see each week.
Designs, Artwork, and Creativity: Draw spaceships and aliens and scantily clad spacewomen. Annoy the female population to no end. Then post them here!
General Sci-Fi Discussion: Generally, a place to discuss science fiction. Includes such diverse topics as whether Matthew Broderick has a soul, and who your favorite underused Lord of the Rings character is.
Star Wars: Reagan started it, but it never got anywhere. Now, with people scared of China, the climate for its revival is ripe. Whoops. Of course, this is dedicated to those one movies by that guy who did Radioland Murders. Who's sexier, Boba Fett or Mace Windu? Duke it out here.
Officer's Lounge: This is where we cast aside the theme of SF and strike out a new course. Humor, real life stuff, etc. Just about anything goes, except heated arguments. Plus, its moderator is a really swell guy.
Flameboard: Heated arguments. Are you the reincarnated uncle of Nostradamus, currently running for the New York Senate seat on the promise of electric chairs for all and the free practice of the state religion? This is the place for you. And your polar opposite.
Forum Contests: Fun and games. And uncomfortable sexual references. It's all here. Your chance to stick it to The Man.
Q: Who's in charge around here?
A: The Forum leadership is a monstrous octopus, with Charles Capps at the center. Embedded in his face are his eyes, the Co-Administrators. Daryus Aden and TSN and The Shadow. (Yes, Charles has three eyes. He was the product of a secret government experiment in aquatic warfare.) They rove the Forums, keeping us all in line and keeping the goodspeakhappythoughts flowing. Shooting out from Charles' body are the multi-suckered arms that are the Moderators. One per board. PsyLiam, The_Tom, Sol System, The Shadow, Krenim, Fabrux, TSN, Chris Howell, Tora Ziyal, and Tahna Los.
Q: So if I have a problem, who do I ask? And how?
A: Whom. Anyway, emailing any of those people up above will work. They'll either take care of your problem or forward it along to someone who can. They all have email links on the base page for their respective forums.
Q: What sort of behavior is expected?
A: That's a dull way to put it. But the general rules are: Don't post anything that includes naughty bits. Don't spam. And for heaven's sake, sit up straight while you're at the computer.
Q: Spam? Mind defining that?
A: Spam, for the purposes of the Forums, is any unsolicited advertisement for a website, email list, etc. All of which are HIGHLY frowned upon by the powers that be. This might sound a little harsh, but our fearless leader is very serious about it.
Q: Are all links banned, then?
A: No! Posting relevant links to things other forumgoers will find witty or newsworthy is not. A good rule of thumb is, don't go around posting links until you've been around the Forums for awhile. If all else fails, ask. We don't bite. Except for Daryus. But that can be avoided by making sure you are entirely curry free.
Q: Curry?
A: Daryus is our local curry defender. It's his favorite food, and he likes to talk about it. Other popular food addictions are Cadbury Cream Eggs, chocolate things of all shapes and sizes, and coffee. No, I don't pretend to understand it either.
Q: What's this Behaviour Alliance I've seen people talk about often and with great fervor?
A: I'm glad you asked. The Behaviour Alliance is a collection of websites of Forum members. It can be found at www.fortunecity.com/tattooine/phlebas/204/index.html. It also, when a certain person I could name gets around to it, contains news about the Forums and other Flare stuff.
Q: Wasn't that spam?
A: I don't know what you're talking about.
Q: This place seems awfully close-knit. Why is that?
A: The Forums have existed for over two years, going through enough births to make a phoenix proud. Through all that, the population has remained together. We like to think that many lasting friendships have been started here. That can make it all seem a little intimidating. But don't let that get to you. We're always willing to welcome new people into our mysterious inner circle.
Q: Ok...so who is this Capps fellow, then? I'm not sure I like the cut of his gib.
A: The all-powerful Charles Capps is our shadowy benefactor. He lives in California, where he likes to eat pastries, lord over sheep herds, and parade in front of a webcam for our amusement. We've all watched young Charles grow up. Call him our spiritual center, our comedy relief, the Shakespeare to our flowerly tragic love story. Just don't call him Chuckie. Or Charlie. Or Sweet-pants. Never Sweet-pants.
Q: What discussions should I avoid starting?
A: The following discussions will send you immediately to hell, or your theological equivalent: The length of the Defiant, Charles Capps is my secret lover, I think you should all visit my site X...(as a first post), I heard the Saber had a cool graviton beam, How come we never see Tricobalt torpedoes, Voyager is in the Beta Quadrant, Nation X'ers are so stupid, Guns save souls, etc.
Q: Those things are banned, then?
A: Well...no, not really. The "site X" one can get YOU banned, though. As for the rest, they're just things we've discussed over and over again, to the point where if you post them, people are likely to simply ignore your thread, which isn't much fun at all. The general rule of thumb is, if there are several threads devoted to the exact same thing, or locked threads, you should probably steer clear of it. At least until you're a bit better acquainted with the place.
Q: I'm still unsure about this Charles thing.
A: Ok, ok. Here's the skinny. It is a rather routine injoke here to have quite a bit of fun at Charles' expense. Obviously, this only works when you know a bit about him, so CC jokes aren't good fodder for newcomers.
Q: You could have just answered that in the other Charles Capps question.
A: That's not even a question. For that matter, neither was the one before it. Besides, isn't it YOUR fault for filling this thing up with superflous questions? No, don't answer that, you'll just confuse me.
Q: Yeesh, sorry. Uh, ok...many people have cool or funny little things under their names, like tiny signature files. What's up with that?
A: Those are called status lines. They work like this:
0 posts: Hey, you don't exist yet! But you're reading this FAQ first. Bless you.
1-10: New Member. Love me.
11-50: Junior Member. Half a century of posts.
51-250: Member. I am member, hear me post.
251+: Senior Member. Don Quixote's archnemesis.
Once a person reaches the auspicious rank of Senior Member, they are allowed to alter that status line. To do so, merely click on the Profile button at the top of the screen, and modify the appropriate box. Please try to keep them limited to 30 characters or less. Brevity is the soul of wit.
Other than that, there isn't really much intrinsic meaning to the rankings. Some of the most respected posters are still down in the minor leagues, as far as numbers go. Remember, quality kicks quantity down the alley nine times out of seven.
Q: What about those things at the bottom of some people's posts?
A: Those are signatures, or .sig in trendy netspeak. (Overlooking the fact that it isn't actually a .sig at all.) Just a spot to insert a favorite saying or ritual chant. Modify it the same way as above, by clicking on the Profile button.
Q: I must know; how long IS the Defiant?
A: 171 meters, per the DS9 Technical Manual. 120 meters per Frank. Which is correct? That depends on your point of view, as well as your proximity to Frank. (Essentially, the Defiant was often shown to be 120 meters long by the Visual Effects crew, but it is officially 171 meters based on other data.)
Q: Are starship registries chronological? Or, I have this great system to organize Starfleet ship registries!
A: As reported to us by forumgoer Hobbes, here's the word from Mr. Okuda himself.
[registries are] "Semichronological, to my way of thinking, at least. I've always assumed that whoever is in charge of registry numbers tends to issue them
chronologically, but does not always do so. There are some numbers that have been reserved, others that were assigned to projects that were cancelled, but might
later be reassigned. And other oddities that invariably occur whenever you have a big organization with many individual operating units. One reason for this assumption is the fact that the registry numbers for the Constitution-class ships in the original Star Trek series ranged from 1017 to 1371 to 1701, so they could not have been assigned in a sequential block of twelve. Further, if the Constitution was 1700, the numbers could not even have been chronological. Naturally, of course, there are others who have equally ingenious theories about these matters.
Hope this helps.
-Mike"
Q: How exactly are starships classified in Star Trek? I say the Defiant is a Type 35 Hyper-quintonic Carno-Cruiser. My friend says that's impossible, because all Trek ships correspond exactly to the 15th century Venice navy.
A: Try none of the above. This is a topic that's been debated back and forth to little conclusion. However, here's a summary.
Starfleet is a fictional futuristic entity. As such, there is no requirement that it correspond to any surface navy so far as ships go. Furthermore, we don't have any definitive canon regarding how the ships are classified within Trek anyway. In the interest of being complete, here are some types tossed out in both the TNG and DS9 tech. manuals.
TNG: Explorer, Cruiser, Cargo Carrier, Tanker, Surveyor, Scout.
DS9: Escort, Heavy Cruiser, Medium Cruiser, Light Cruiser
Also, we've heard mention of frigates (New Orleans class) and tactical cruisers. (Prometheus class)
Take from those what you will. Do they match up with known naval designations? No. Nor are they meant to. You are, of course, free to assign whatever designations you like. But this is a topic that has been beaten into the ground quite nicely. Besides, we all know that Starfleet is based on ancient Phonecian ships.
Q: When does the new series start, and what is it about?
A: First of all, let me say that fifth series discussion is encouraged, of course. This is just here to answer the two most common and least interesting questions. (Except for the second, but I'll get to that in a moment.) Any new Star Trek series will begin at the earliest in Fall of 2001. However, that isn't to say that it will.
The second answer is: No one knows. Yet. As of this version of the FAQ, absolutely no information exists, save that Brandon Braga and Rick Berman are involved, and possibly others.
Of course, feel free to talk about what you would like the show to be. Just keep in mind that nothing definitive exists yet.
Q: What is the next movie about?
A: This isn't a frequently asked question, but it should be. Where is your enthusiasm? Where is your forward thinking?
There is no answer yet. The writer of Gladiator is involved. He has said the movie will feature Romulans and injokes and devilish villains. This is very vague. That was probably the point.
quote:
The SolarFlare Frequently Asked Questions document. Version 2.0
by Sol SystemWelcome to Flare. In the hopes of making this place as enjoyable as possible, we've compiled a list of frequently asked questions, common injokes, and handy insults.
Q: What sort of things are discussed here?
A: Officially or unofficially? The Forums are built around a Star Trek/science fiction core, like so much of the "new economy" once heralded as the savior of everything, and now exposed as a hollow sham(1). Let's take a look at each Forum seperately.
Incoming Hail: Official announcements and other things of a vaguely forum-related flavor.
General Trek: Generally speaking (Ha ha)(2), this is the place for discussing any thing Star Trek related that isn't technology, Enterprise, or Voyager. So, for instance, a debate on how many twinkling lights made up the lights of Zetar(3) would go here, while a detailed examination of something Voyager related, or Enterprise related, or technically related, would go elsewhere. For instance...
Enterprise: There is this new show. It is called, apparently, Enterprise. It is about a ship called Enterprise. They will have adventures. Anyway, this forum is for talking about them.
Voyager: The Borg! Space Dinosaurs!(4) Voyager! Those would all be on topic in Voyager: The Forum.
Starships & Other Technology: This is our most popular forum. It is about technical things. Well, also pseudo-technical things, I guess, and imaginary technical things, and wonderfully colorful spaceships and so on.
Designs, Artwork, and Creativity: Draw spaceships and aliens and scantily clad spacewomen. Annoy the female population to no end. Then post them here!(5)
General Sci-Fi: Generally speaking (Ha ha)(6), a place to discuss science fiction that isn't Star Trek, but also that isn't Star Wars.
Star Wars: Science fiction that is Star Wars.
Officers' Lounge: Misc. Various. Assorted. Bargain bin. (Anything that doesn't go somewhere else.)
Flameboard: Heated arguments about three specific topics.(7) You could try to start a new one, if you wanted to, but, well, good luck.
Forum Competitions: Fun and games. And quizzes. And this long random sort of thread that frankly I just don't get.
Q: Who's in charge around here?
A: The Forum leadership is a monstrous octopus, with Charles Capps at the center. Embedded in his face are his eyes(8), called Administrators. Daryus Aden and TSN and Aethelwer and Krenim and Jubilee. They administrate. Shooting out from Charles' body are the multi-suckered arms that are the Moderators. One per board.(9) Tahna Los, Mr. Christopher, Sol System, The_Tom, and PsyLiam.
Q: So if I have a problem, who do I ask? And how?
A: Whom. Anyway, e-mailing any of those people up above will work. They'll either take care of your problem or forward it along to someone who can. They all have email links on the base page for their respective forums.
Q: What sort of behavior is expected?
A: That's a dull way to put it. But the general rules are: Don't post anything that includes naughty bits. Don't spam. And for heaven's sake, sit up straight while you're at the computer.
Q: Spam? Mind defining that?
A: Spam, for the purposes of the Forums, is any unsolicited advertisement for a website, email list, etc. All of which are HIGHLY frowned upon by the powers that be. This might sound a little harsh, but our fearless leader is very serious about it.
Q: Are all links banned, then?
A: No! Posting relevant links to things other forumgoers will find witty or newsworthy is not. A good rule of thumb is, don't go around posting links until you've been around the Forums for awhile. If all else fails, ask. We don't bite. Except for Daryus. But that can be avoided by making sure you are entirely curry free.
Q: Curry?(10)
A: Daryus is our local curry defender. It's his favorite food, and he likes to talk about it. Other popular food addictions are Cadbury Cream Eggs, chocolate things of all shapes and sizes, and coffee. No, I don't pretend to understand it either.
Q: What's this Behaviour Alliance I've seen people talk about often and with great fervor?
A: I'm glad you asked. The Behaviour Alliance is a collection of websites of Forum members. It can be found at a convenient URL that I don't happen to have on me at the moment. It also, when a certain person I could name gets around to it, contains news about the Forums and other Flare stuff.
Q: This place seems awfully close-knit. Why is that?
A: The Forums have existed for over three years. Through all that, the core population has remained largely the same. That can make it all seem a little intimidating. But don't let that get to you. We're always willing to welcome new people into our mysterious inner circle, provided they pass a few minor tests.(11)
Q: Ok...so who is this Capps fellow, then?
A: The all-powerful Charles Capps is our shadowy benefactor. He lives in Seattle, where he may still like to eat pastries and parade in front of a webcam for our amusement, but we're not quite sure. We've all watched young Charles grow up. He is in charge. But he was not in Zapped! That was Scott Baio.
Q: I'm still unsure about this Charles thing.
A: Ok, ok. Here's the skinny. It is a rather routine injoke here to have quite a bit of fun at Charles' expense. Obviously, this only works when you know a bit about him, so CC jokes aren't good fodder for newcomers.
Q: Many people have cool or funny little things under their names, like tiny signature files. What's up with that?
A: Those are called status lines. They work like this: I do not know how they work. But I will know soon, and so will you. Don't panic.
There isn't really much intrinsic meaning to the rankings. Some of the most respected posters are still down in the minor leagues, as far as number of posts go.
Q: What about those things at the bottom of some people's posts?
A: Those are signatures, or .sigs in trendy netspeak. (Overlooking the fact that it isn't actually a .sig at all.) Just a spot to insert a favorite saying or ritual chant. Modify it by clicking on the Profile button.
Q: I must know; how long IS the Defiant?
A: 171 meters, per the DS9 Technical Manual. 120 meters per Frank. Which is correct? That depends on your point of view, as well as your proximity to Frank. (Essentially, the Defiant was often shown to be 120 meters long by the Visual Effects crew, but it is officially 171 meters based on other data.)
Q: Are starship registries chronological? Or, I have this great system to organize Starfleet ship registries!
A: As reported to us by forumgoer Hobbes, here's the word from Mr. Okuda himself.
[registries are] "Semichronological, to my way of thinking, at least. I've always assumed that whoever is in charge of registry numbers tends to issue them
chronologically, but does not always do so. There are some numbers that have been reserved, others that were assigned to projects that were cancelled, but might
later be reassigned. And other oddities that invariably occur whenever you have a big organization with many individual operating units. One reason for this assumption is the fact that the registry numbers for the Constitution-class ships in the original Star Trek series ranged from 1017 to 1371 to 1701, so they could not have been assigned in a sequential block of twelve. Further, if the Constitution was 1700, the numbers could not even have been chronological. Naturally, of course, there are others who have equally ingenious theories about these matters.
Hope this helps.
-Mike"
Q: How exactly are starships classified in Star Trek? I say the Defiant is a Type 35 Hyper-quintonic Carno-Cruiser. My friend says that's impossible, because all Trek ships correspond exactly to the 15th century Venice navy.
A: Try none of the above. This is a topic that's been debated back and forth to little conclusion. However, here's a summary.
Starfleet is a fictional futuristic entity. As such, there is no requirement that it correspond to any surface navy so far as ships go. Furthermore, we don't have any definitive canon regarding how the ships are classified within Trek anyway. In the interest of being complete, here are some types tossed out in both the TNG and DS9 tech. manuals.
TNG: Explorer, Cruiser, Cargo Carrier, Tanker, Surveyor, Scout.
DS9: Escort, Heavy Cruiser, Medium Cruiser, Light Cruiser
Also, we've heard mention of frigates (New Orleans class) and tactical cruisers. (Prometheus class)
Take from those what you will. Do they match up with known naval designations? No. Nor are they meant to. You are, of course, free to assign whatever designations you like. But this is a topic that has been beaten into the ground quite nicely. Besides, we all know that Starfleet is based on ancient Phonecian ships.
Q: What is the next Star Trek movie about?
A: Romulans! Space intrigue! Space travel! Space!
(1): Originally, a much more enthusiastic description of the Internet was here.
(2): This is a play on the word generally. But because that is so obvious and unfunny, it has been modified with a self-aware comment, thus turning boring sincerity into engaging postmodernism. Of course, postmodernism has become as routine and expected as that which it replaced, so this footnote has been added to assure you that the author is aware that he is aware of his awareness.
(3): From the Original Series episode "The Lights of Zetar".
(4): The Voth.
(5): There was, fairly long ago, a run of pictures of women, not really scantilly clad, but oddly clad. Oddly enough for me to immortalize that brief period with this reference. Also, I think they were supposed to be vampires.
(6): Repetition for comedic purposes.
(7): Specifically: Guns, evolution, and God. Or, often, all three combined into a sort of ballistic theism with scientific asperations.
(8): I realize this metaphor is strained, but at one time there were only two admins, which is a much more eye-like number.
(9): Some admins moderate.
(10): At first, while revising and updating this FAQ, I was determined to remove any references to injokes that were no longer in. My methods were not at all consistant. So, curry.
(11): There is no Circle.
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