posted
***Warning*** This is a somewhat depressing flame. Back out now if ya don't want to hear it, or delete if necessary. Thanks ;-)
Right, so.... Anyone who knows me (and there are quite a few people in here who do)knows that i've currently been away from ICQ alot, and have reffered to myself as being in the 9th circle of hell. Having met with many questions as to what, exactly, is in the 9th circle of hell, and why I'm there .... I figured it was time I posted a forum message so that I can get it all out there, and people will stop askin me.
The 9th circle of hell, to me, is the circle where resides terminal diseases, nasties that never go away, evil men who like to beat people up, occassional 60's folk tunes, pictures of Richard Simmons naked, and talking blue hamsters from Mars. Why am I here? Well, because I have a terminal disease. Yup. Don't blink. Close your mouth. Thank you. It isn't going to go away, and as of right now, there are no proven treatments to this, or causes for it, or anything. It's called C.F.I.D.S .... Most people know it as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (this is an inaccurate name for it, however). It exists ..... and I have it. So excuse me if I think i'm residing in hell. I mean... this on top of college on top of the 60 other shitty things that happen to everyone has just really made the last three months one heck of a Hellish experience. I'm not pitying myself ... Well, I can't pity myself IRL, because that gets one absolutely nowheres, does it? And please don't throw sympathy, or hugs, or anything at me... I didnt post this to get any of that. I just felt that the 9th circle of hell needed explaining. Right.... so ..... back to listening to 60's folk music and watching *shudder* Richard Simmons run 'round naked...... Catch you later folks.....
------------------ If Galileo had lied to save his life, would America, or the West, or Space have been discovered? And if Columbus had never set sail, would the Earth still be flat?
------------------
Edited: .. Some people have different ideas of Terminal. So I guess I should edit this and say that my idea of Terminal is "Something you will have for the rest of your life, that threatens the way you will live it, and has potential to kill you" . It's not like Cancer, or some of those other things. (Though in some circles IS being compared to AIDS)
[This message was edited by Jubilee McGann on April 05, 1999.]
And don't depress yourself further by thinking about things you can't change. No matter how much you wish, Richard Simmons will always look like that. And no matter how hard we try, we can never change Richard. Or Robin Williams.
------------------ 'It's okay to only know three chords but God, put them in the right order' -Hank Hill
posted
Was just going to post that Brits will recognize this as ME ....
And what's your gripe with Robin Williams, Liam? HMM?
------------------ If Galileo had lied to save his life, would America, or the West, or Space have been discovered? And if Columbus had never set sail, would the Earth still be flat?
[This message was edited by Jubilee McGann on April 04, 1999.]
posted
To speak intelligently upon a subject one must know something about it. Jubilee McGann, can you provide one or more links to information about your malady?
Thank you.
--Baloo
PS: I could have happily gone to my grave without ever considering that underneath his clothes, Richard Simmons is naked.
[*Shudder!*]
------------------ COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles(Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
It's actually a little known disease that affects more people than you'd think. ...
------------------ If Galileo had lied to save his life, would America, or the West, or Space have been discovered? And if Columbus had never set sail, would the Earth still be flat?
posted
I have read the articles at the link you provided.
It sounds like CFIDS is an autoimmune disease (or similar to some types of the same). I will keep an ear to the ground and let you know if I stumble across anything that might be relevant (though I am certain you are doing the same as well).
If it isn't prying, what symptoms are you manifesting?
--Baloo
------------------ IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.
posted
Autoimmune? ... well .... something like that, yes.
Right now... I'm experiencing the muscle pain, zero energy, lack of concentration, nausea, sore throat and headache. *frowns* ..
It's not prying... thanks alot, I appreciate your involvment in this
------------------ If Galileo had lied to save his life, would America, or the West, or Space have been discovered? And if Columbus had never set sail, would the Earth still be flat?
posted
Okay, tell me if i'm allowed to be angry about this. I'm posting this in here since it's related to my whole being sick thing, and I don't want to depress people with TWO posts about this, so i'm just sticking a reply in here. I only just found out about having this myself, and it was hard to deal with. I have never been sick in my life. *sighs* ... It's tough to deal with the fact that I am now going to be sick for the rest of it. And maybe I am overreacting a bit.... but I don't think I am. I have every right to be angry. If I had the energy TO be angry, I would be. But instead, i'm just plain hurt. Well .... and if you're reading tis you mut be wondering why. Simply because.... I got a reaction from someone I considered to be a friend that I never expected to get. Usually you get the "God, i'm sorry, is there anything i can do" people ... then you have the people who give you a huge hug and tell you it's going to be okay ... and the people who tell you you're overreacting and they're sure you'll be fine. And then you have the people who just refuse to say anything about it after the initial "Why didn't you tell me" question ... they just completely blow it off. Now i'm sorry .... but a few people are doing this to me now, in my life.. some online, sone off... and I find it harder and harder to find some sort of support ... these people are normally the people I would come to and say "I'm scared as hell about this" ... but instead ... i can't do that. I have to keep quiet about it. This hurts. It really, really does. Sorry to keep complaining about this guys.... *sighs* ... alright i'll shut up now.
------------------ If Galileo had lied to save his life, would America, or the West, or Space have been discovered? And if Columbus had never set sail, would the Earth still be flat?
posted
I'm not sure what to put in this post. An expression of sympathy can sometimes seem a bit shallow, especially in the form of disembodied words on the internet. But conversely I can't just move on after reading a thread like this one.
Suffice to say that I've read the linked-to info about CFIDS/ME and you should feel free to let off some steam here any time you need to. I doubt anyone here would begrudge you that, since it'd be a far more worthy use of the space than trivial gripes about the weather, or Microsoft etc.
It takes a lot of guts to come to terms with a chronic illness. We all wish you luck, and are confident in your ability to overcome it. All the best.
------------------ "I'm sorry I'm late.... I've been irrigating the desert... Which isn't easy on your own." - M&W
[This message was edited by Montgomery on April 06, 1999.]
Best wishes for everything. I know I wouldn't have the faintest idea if this happened to a close friend of mine. I can only imagine what you are going through, and your friends are probably feeling bad too. The last thing they want to do is hurt you.
But, I must stress, if you carry on mentioning Richard Simmons, I shall be forced to come round there and show you nude photos of Monty. Then you shall know true fear
Just don't ask how I go them...
------------------ 'Saying it in a stacato voice doesn't make it any more true' -Stewart Lee
Yes. Learning you have a disease that will demand you alter your lifestyle and expectations is a loss. Denial is stage one. Anger is stage two.
You've lost the freedom to go anywhere, anytime, whether you wanted to in the first place. The option was there and now it isn't. You've lost the freedom from pain that you expected as a matter of course. Your body isn't the obedient servant it once was. You have a right to be angry about this, even if getting mad doesn't resolve anything.
There are three more stages of grief to go through:
Stage 3: Bargaining.
Stage 4: Letting Go.
Stage 5: Acceptance.
You are likely to move forwards and backwards through all of these stages before you come to fully understand and accept what is. I've been there. Not by disease, but by a relationship that fell apart for no reason I could discern. It's still painful to discuss that matter, though the relationship is restored and healing. My advice? Be angry if that's what you feel. Grieve. Just don't get stuck at any one stage for too long.
Also, remember one thing: Your friends (both the genuine ones and the imitations) will have to work through the same process. Their friend (you) has unexpectedly become ill with a disease they do not understand and may fear. They don't know just how this will affect your relationship to them. They may not know if they have what it takes to be supportive. They might be so afraid to say the wrong thing that they avoid you. They might be ashamed that they weren't more supportive or say the right thing in the first place.
The genuine friends whose initial reaction was to flee your presence will eventually return. The imitations won't. Welcome back and forgive those who return. They realized the right thing to do a little later than the others, but they did return.
--Baloo
------------------ WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
posted
Baloo ..... *HUGE HUGS* That's all I can say ..... is just... *HUG* ... thank you... thanks alot. You've really helped me see clearly, and that's important. So thank you. THANK YOU. *HUG*
(and never jujubee... or I will have to be mean. )
------------------ If Galileo had lied to save his life, would America, or the West, or Space have been discovered? And if Columbus had never set sail, would the Earth still be flat?
posted
Reality Adhers to the Perceptions of the Observer. Reality is Lucid. It's the Holographic Theory. It's Quantum Mechanics. Just alter your percerptions. Use that majick. . . Believe. . .
I have an often fatal disease as well. You may have heard about it. It's called alcoholism. I have decided to no longer allow it to kill me.
------------------ What do you mean I'm not kind. Just not you're kind. --Dave Mustaine "Peace Sells" MEGADETH
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