You want = You want

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?= I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

The answer to "What's wrong?"

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an idiot

I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam.

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"If knowledge is power, then willful misinformation is the work of the Devil."
-- Barbara "the man who sought Liberty's talents" Mikkelson
http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm

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"You see, unlike you I understand history!
My name will blaze across the stars long after your petty treachery has been for-gotten !!!"