posted
I don't think there's anything wrong with what he did as long as he did it for love. Maybe he could've denied himself. Maybe he could've done things differently to accomodate the law, which obviously doesn't accomodate the complexities of human relationships. But what's done is done, and just by going through this he's braver than all of us combined.
quote:Originally posted by TSN: Short version: he was banging a high-schooler and her parents found out.
Oh. Well that happens over here in the UK all the time. Teenagers having sex as it's a new and wonderful experience and people think your a real grown up for having done it. Might have something to do with all the single teenage mothers we have here.
However, the age difference may (in some people's minds) cause a problem. Not me. If you both love each other, what else is there to say?
I just think that you were careless to get caught Shik. If she meant so much to you then you should have planned. For this sort of thing you need timetables, lists of activities the parents do, when the best time to get together is (and not get caught). Emergency plans so that you can escape if they come home while you're "busy". Shame on you for not using your superior abilities! But of course, reason and common sense undoubtedly vanish when love is involved.
I wish you (and your lady) all the best my friend.
-------------------- If you cant convince them, confuse them.
Registered: Apr 2001
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quote: just by going through this he's braver than all of us combined
I find that to be a completly irrelevant comment. How does going through this make him braver then all of us combined. He screwed up and now has to face the music. Frankly bravery is not something I would apply to this.
The simple fact remains that he broke the law. And for those of you who feel that he was justified in doing so because he loved her I have two statements. First, laws are created for a reason. That reason is to maintain order. Without order all we have is chaos. Second, if he truely loves her he would have waited until she was of legal age, instead of submitting her to this extremely difficult situation.
Am I being overtly insensitive? You bet. Why? While the Justice system of this country may have slammed my family hard this last summer, I understand the need to have it. And lastly every time I walk into a class that I'm subbing for I look at the students before me and hope that nobody is taking advantage of them.
-------------------- The Poster formally known as Tec.
Registered: May 1999
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posted
This is a rather serious set of issues that I don't think we'll be able to resolve to anyone's satisfaction on our little Star Trek-themed bulletin board.
Registered: Mar 1999
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But when she gets older and releases a hit song about this incident with Shik, we will smile and nod and tell our friends that we "get" the lyrics, thanks to our little Star Trek-themed message board. Doubtlessly.
-------------------- "I was surprised by the matter-of-factness of Kafka's narration, and the subtle humor present as a result." (Sizer 2005)
Registered: Mar 1999
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Cartman
just made by the Presbyterian Church
Member # 256
posted
Tell me why this is a land of confusion... there's not much love to go around...
posted
I prefer "The Brazilian", but that one doesn't have any lyrics...
-------------------- "Lotta people go through life doing things badly. Racing's important to men who do it well. When you're racing, it's life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting."
-Steve McQueen as Michael Delaney, LeMans
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
All I want clarified, Epoch, is how you define "takign advantage". Granted, in Shik's case, something unexpected happened (be it misunderstanding or personality shift or parental wrath), but barring that, this was something long-term...
The age of majority is a silly thing, as I have ranted about elsewhere. 18 is a pretty durn arbitrary age to draw such an important line. I know many people in their 40s and 50s who can't really manage their lives, and many people in their mid-teens who are better-equipped to manage their lives than their own parents.
My fiancee is/was one such case. When we met, I was 24 and she was 13. Her mom introduced us. And -- no exaggeration -- if we hadn't met, she would probably have killed herself by now. We worked through a lot of ugly shit about ourselves and our relationship, all out of our love and commitment to each other. She's become a hell of a lot more comfortable about herself and her ambitions in life since we met, and I applaud her for it.
Granted, not every teenager knows who they are and what they want to do in life, but Jen has known since well before we met, and Shik's now-ex seemed to be equally self-possessed prior to this mess. In his case, I think an ex post facto examination of events might be in order, but in mine... Well, the wedding's set for May 1st, 2004, and has been for a few years now. We very quickly realized that we had been effectively intended for each other, by genetics and temperament if not some higher power.
Now I ask you, am I taking advantage of her? Or would you rather she hook up with someone her own age who has no life experience and whose only interest is to see if he can get into her pants? In the years we've known each other 90% of the guys she's met have been after only one thing, and that thing ain't long-term, let me tell you. Plus, most of the guys she's run into in and around school aren't even remotely on her intellectual or emotional level. I like to think her mom knew what she was doing when she introduced us. *heh*
I understand the desire to protect your charges, but I've seen a lot of cases where that impulse found the wrong target. In the case of me and Jen, well, she's already had to deal with four guys at her high school who couldn't seem to understand the meaning of the word 'no'. Thank God she knows both hockey and tae kwon do...
--Jonah
-------------------- "That's what I like about these high school girls, I keep getting older, they stay the same age."
--David "Woody" Wooderson, Dazed and Confused
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
They can't exactly write the law to say "you can't have sex w/ someone under eighteen, unless you think they seem reasonably mature", can they? Peregrinus, you just pointed out how many people your girlfriend's age are sex-crazed twits. You really think they should abolish the age of consent, so lecherous forty-year-olds can go hump every twelve-year-old who "feels kind of funny down there"?
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Exactly, there has to be a line drawn somewhere. And that line has been drawn at 18. Do I believe that a person remains a child until 18 and then they magically know everything they need to. Of course not. Not everyone under the age of 18 is a child and not everyone over the age of 18 is an adult. Whether or not you feel it is right the majority of the population in that area feels that it is wrong.
Peregrinus, I'm not ignorant enough to not believe that people of all ages fall in love. That I do not have a problem with. But until both are above the age of 18 there are legal concerns that need to be regarded. Dating someone under the age of 18 is one thing, having sex with them is a completly different story.
-------------------- The Poster formally known as Tec.
Registered: May 1999
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capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
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i like girls
Registered: Sep 2001
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Cartman
just made by the Presbyterian Church
Member # 256
posted
That is not a Bad Thing. Right?
Registered: Nov 1999
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Well, there is the age of consent. One doesn't have to be 18 to have sex. Depending on what state (or, for the rest of the world what country) the age changes. In the current issue of Maxim there's a little snippet that's oh so frequent that says the age of consent in a counter (I forget which) is 10. Mind you, that seems ridiculously low...
-------------------- I haul cardboard and cardboard accessories
Registered: Mar 1999
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![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
But of course, reason and common sense undoubtedly vanish when love is involved.
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