posted
This is something I found at Military.com and hust had to share it:
French War Jokes
Q: How many French men does it take to defend Paris? A: Nobody knows... No French man has ever tried.
Q: How do you stop a French tank? A: By shooting the soldier pushing it.
Q: Why does the new French Navy have glass-bottom boats? A: So they can see the old French Navy.
Q: Why is it crucial for the French to join the war against Iraq? A: Somebody has to show the Iraqis how to surrender.
Q: What do you call 100,000 French men with their arms in the air? A: The army.
Q: Why shouldn't we be surprised that the French don't want to help us against the Iraqis? A: Because they didn't help us when we fought the Germans.
Q: The American military wears combat boots. What does the French military wear? A: Track shoes.
Q: Why do French tanks have five gears for reverse and only one for forward? A: In case they're attacked from behind.
Q: What color is the French military flag? A: White.
Q: Why did the French plant trees along the streets of Paris? A: So the Germans could park in the shade.
Q: Why does the French military have such a low mortality rate? A: Because it's hard to engage with the enemy when both sides are running in the same direction.
Q: What do French recruits learn in basic training? A: How to surrender in 17 different languages.
Q: Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? A: So they can see the war.
Q: Why do French men wear yellow ties? A: To match the streaks running down their back.
Q: How do you get a French waiter's attention? A: Start ordering in German.
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Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
From Military.Com, you say? How utterly pathetic. I've heard fifth-graders with more originality than that. And better taste.
Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
Military.com, eh? That's one place I'll be sure to avoid in the future...
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Registered: Nov 2000
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posted
As I am 1/2 French I am slightly offended by this.
1) The Germans overwhelmed France in WW2 they had no choice but to surrender or suffer utter destruction of thier country and way of life.
2) It's funny that we're fighting in Iraq for "freedom." Yet when other countries that have that freedom thing going (like say... France!) and they don't agree with the All Powerful America then we get crap like this.
3) Just remember, next time you start bashing the French for not supporting America, we most likely wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for France helping us fight the English.
Ok, I'm done now.
Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
At least it makes a change from the standard US to UK "You would be speaking German if it wasn't for us!" comment. Bizaire that the French are the only ones who have a good come-back for that one.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Two things. First, I think you spelled bizzare wrong. Of course, I'm not saying that I spelled it correctly either, just that I'm sure you didn't.
Second ... what is the French response?
American: "You would be speaking German if it wasn't for us!"
Frenchman: "If it wasn't for us, you'd still be speaking English!"
posted
More "if it wasn't for us, you'd still be putting useless extra "u"s in your words.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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