I had managed to get talked into giving a friend of mine a few driving lessons to prep him for his drivers test. My friend, of course, is an international student from Bangladesh who hasn't really driven a car in over a year (and never in the US). Being the nice guy that I am, I agreed and plotted out the next hour of driving practice.

Well, it was interesting. It would be very unfair of me to say that he was a bad driver. Undertrained and inexperienced would be better. We stayed in the parking to our stadium and I let him drive around. I was getting car sick from sharp and shaky turns at 40 mph and the braking that left skids marks. We got pulled over in the stadium parking lot by the campus police. She was laughing as I explained I trying to give driving lessons. After about half an hour, I needed out of my car or else I going to vomit profusely.

I picked this as the time to practice parking. Just simple pull straight into a normal parking space. I set a metal trash can in one space, left the next open, and I stood in the space next to the open one. For anyone who may ever do this: DON'T! My friend crashed my car into the metal trash can twice. At about 30 mph. My car is fine, but that can has seen better days.

He then tried approaching the space from the opposite direction. Well, my friend has a tendency to watch where he wants the car to go and not where it was actually going. The first attempt I had to jump back a foot to avoid getting hit. The second attempt, he drove my car right over the curb of the tree island. The third attempt is what landed me in the position I was in at the start of my post.

He was coming in way too fast and heading straight for me. I was yelling, but he was looking somewhere else. So, I had to do one of those action movie jump-to-the-side-and-roll-out-of-the-way-of-the-maniac-driver moves. The problem is that I am 5'11" tall and weigh a bit over 270 pounds. That was not fun. My shoulder is a little bruised from where I hit the pavement. My friend never did realize that he almost nailed me.

So, I would now like to point out the morals of this story:

1. Never trust anyone who says they know how to drive but are "a little rusty."

2. Always make sure the trainee has auto insurance.

3. Never ever get out of the car. Take an "air discomfort" bag with you, but for the love of God DO NOT GET OUT OF THE CAR!

4. Use someone else's car.

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Nic: She's not a practicing lesbian. We need PRACTICING lesbians!
Me: I have a camcorder.
Nic: But no lesbians.
Me: Ahhh... no.
Nic: DAMN IT MAN! WE NEED LESBIANS! LOTS AND LOTS OF LESBIANS!

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"One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking" Nugget
Star Trek: Gamma Quadrant
Star Trek: Legacy
Read them, rate them, got money, film them

"...and I remain on the far side of crazy, I remain the mortal enemy of man, no hundred dollar cure will save me..." WoV

I don't know about you.. but your friend is what I'd call a bad driver. Unfortantly put him on the streets here and you would notice it.

Nice sig too, reminds me of the Camcorders for Lesbians skit on The Man Show.

As for my signature, it a conversation my friend Nic and I were having about testing the effectiveness of certain, how shall I say, feminine devices. And that last line had me laughing for a while.

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Nic: She's not a practicing lesbian. We need PRACTICING lesbians!
Me: I have a camcorder.
Nic: But no lesbians.
Me: Ahhh... no.
Nic: DAMN IT MAN! WE NEED LESBIANS! LOTS AND LOTS OF LESBIANS!

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All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.
Bob Dylan

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"I rather strongly disagree, even if I share the love of Dick. Speaking of which, that would be the most embarrasing .sig quote ever, so never use it."

I love to drive, and drive fast. Also why I loved watching Gone in 60 Seconds and wished my car has a nitro button. The speedometer goes up to 150MPH/240KPH, but I haven't had the opportunity to see if it's true.

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Sheridan: "Dammit, what do you want? What do you want from me?"
Kosh: "Never ask that question."
Federation Starship Datalink: Brand new look, fresh minty scent, same great taste!

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 6.27 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with four eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Forum Member Who Shall Be Nameless. 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001

Except mine's black and without a front licence plate since South Carolina only requires a rear plate. They were only made for 3 years and the design remained pretty much the same.

I can't find any pics online of the dashboard though.

Ironic a Trekkie drives a car whose name is the same as the Excelsior's original registry.

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Sheridan: "Dammit, what do you want? What do you want from me?"
Kosh: "Never ask that question."
Federation Starship Datalink: Brand new look, fresh minty scent, same great taste!

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"Censoring the Internet is like putting a toll booth at the bottom of the ocean."

I've only gotten her to 75 though.

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"No, 3 & 6 are mandatory, so you only have to do them if you want"

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Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.