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why the hell isn't it getting better?
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by The Real Folk Blues: [QB] as some of you might remember, my girlfriend of 3 years who i poured my soul into and thought i'd be with the rest of my life cheated on me and left me. obviously this has not been an easy thing to me. what is most perplexing is that the advice i've gotten from my friends who have been through this isn't coming about. supposedly, it will get better soon (since i'm so young and all) and that the more i try to occupy myself with other things the better it will be. ain't happenin. it's been a month since she left, and i'm suffering actual physical pain. every time i do [i]anything[/i] it reminds me of her. i have no motivation anymore, and i don't enjoy any of the things i used to. i feel isolated from my friends, and i'm lonely even when i'm in a crowd. the thing that pisses me off (i mean other than having my whole world destroyed) is that i'm supposed to grin, bear it, and just be glad that she's happy. well fuck that! she obviously wasn't willing to do the same for me. she gave up a happy, stable relationship for the chance of slightly more happiness (which i guess she has achieved) and i'm left with nothing. i also wish the dumb bastard had confronted me like a man instead of sneaking with her. yeah, it might have been ugly, but at least i would have been able to have taken myself out on someone. i wish she had just fucking shot me in the head. what the fuck am i supposed to do? despite the good intentions of my friends, nothing has helped. if anyone here has ever been in this kind of situation, does it truly get better, or am i just starting on a long road of pain? my friends tell me that i should just forget her, and that even if we got back together the relationship would never work because the trust would be broken. i don't give a shit about trust because i want her back more than anything i have ever wanted. but i know that if we got back together again and this sort of thing happened again that there is no way i could bear it a second time. to know that she is in the arms of another person, doing the things that she used to do with me, sharing emotions with someone else. i can't stand it. it makes me physically ill. how can women be so cruel? how could she accept my heart and soul and then just casually dump it like a fast food wrapper? how could she pretend that i was the only one for her when she was seeing someone else? how could she lie bold in my face when our relationship had always been based on trust? what the fuck did i do wrong? i have no answers for any of these. i have no way of resolving anything, so it just eats at my guts all day, every day. and every day it gets worse. i guess that the shock has worn off. i thought i was so lucky, finding the "one" at 18. now i wish i had never been born. i had no idea this would blow up until it happened. why am i here if i am just going to be miserable? maybe i should go see the psychological services here at my university. if this doesn't get better soon, then i don't know what the fuck i'm going to do. if it's going to be like this for the foreseeable future then i don't know if i want to live. i'm sorry to spout all this out here, but i don't know what the fuck to do, and none of my friends are giving me answers that work. this forum has one of the largest collections of smarts i know of (with a few flareites being exceptions) and i was hoping you people could help me come up with something. once again, i'm sorry to burden you with this. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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